No Contact Implemented !

[studioworks]

Day 3

Was seeing this girl for a year.. got dumped... yes i aint ashamed to admit it... had all the signs of interest levels falling.... never saw em coming... i guess oneitis is the biggest enemy of any relationship !

Anyways... cutting the story short... initiated "No Contact" immediately after breaking up.... but she alwayz kept calling / messaging atleast once a day or every other day...

I wud pick up these calls... coz honestly i felt she just needed sum time and wud be fine in a few days...

Nonetheless... after 2 weeks of level 1 NO CONTACT... i stopped responding to all calls and mesgs... she went crazy for 2 days... like 5 calls and 5 mesgs in a day... begging me to tell her i was ok and that i cud ignore her after that... i sent her a one line mesg saying "i was absolutely ok and that she shud have a nice week"..

i guess she got the hint... didnt call for next 2 days... got a call again from her after that... saying it was her last call coz she felt it was very abrubt the way i suddenly stopped all communication and since we had sumthing so beautiful we shud end it on a good note.. (wateva girl... 1st u dump me then this... hahahaha)

I told her i cudnt be friends wid her... and she understood that i wanted NO CONTACT... she went on to say how she had been thinking about me the whole day since i had stopped taking her calls n mesgs....

and this is a woman... who is very stubborn... has a lot of ego... and i thot wud never call after my mesg to her and my initiating NO CONTACT

anywayz... now since shez made her "last call" thereby finishing off any lame excuse to call me again... and there is no way in hell i'm calling her... i cant wait to see what 60 days will do to her... DAY 3 and going strong...

trust me : every now and then there is a temptation to call... but not calling and having the power that i decided to initiate NO CONTACT feels so nice... whether i get her back or not is immaterial as i am doing this for myself...

JUST A COUPLE OF QUESTIONS FOR THE MASTERS

1. Does the fact that i kept responding to her mesgs and calls for 2 weeks have any effect on my initiating complete NO CONTACT now ?? Havent i in a way weaned her away from myself in these 2 weeks ??

2. What if she again tries to contact me after say a week or 2... my not calling is in my control and not a problem... when she calls the temptation at that point will be very high coz honestly sumtimes i feel "What if she wants to get back and i'm blocking her out ?"

 

[OamImrsNemo]

1. Yes you are not following through with what you were supposed to do. But at least you didnt follow to her every whim...

My advice dude. She broke up with you fvck her. Don't even think about her anymore nontheless ever talk to her again! In my book there is no such thing as ex being f buddy's. As soon as somone is an ex in my book there is absolutely no contact whatsoever! Trust me its better to just move on and don't look back. Chances are she will call in the next couple weeks begging saying she made a mistake. You will be tempted to agree. But Do not! that is just showing her that you are weaker and submissive to her.

 

[Adonis PUA Trainer]

Your doing tremendous. Now stop answering everything! If forced (which is unlikely) talk down to her (politely, yet slightly condescendingly).

Pursue life goals, better yourself and this will torture her. You want her to realize she fukked up...yet you don't have the time to consider taking her back.

Make your first goal getting some new pics on your Facebook with some hot girls

 

[Faded Image]

Don't drink Alcohol. And if you decide to do so, hide your phone from yourself prior to the occasion.

When you're incapacitated due to overindulgence, alcohol will encourage you to do some dumb shat; and drunk'n dialing/texting are two to name a few.

 

[tinctrar]

Ok this is what helped me tremendously with an ex who would not stop calling.

I have verizon wireless. If you have them you can call or go on the web and block thier number for Calls and Text. It helped!

She tried calling me with a blocked number and she got thru a few times (only cause my mom has a blocked number and she is the only one who calls me that way) So I told her the truth.

I blocked your number because it is over. I agreed to the breakup. I am now dating again. There is no chance of us getting back together.

Worked! Used it for my recent ex as well just in case but no problems yet.

 

[omega05]

so you're gonna make a log each day you don't talk to her?

 

[luv 2 fly]

my question is what do you do after 60 days?? do you call her back & seem like nothing is wrong or what?

 

[jnice48146]

Listen to Adonis and Faded Image, especially the part about the facebook pics! I posted one from a wedding reception of two girls kissing me on the cheek about 3 weeks after going NC and, from what mutual friends told me, she went NUTS!!!!

 

[studioworks]

Well guys the thing is.... I really loved her... wanted an LTR with her... things were going great... but i ****ed up coz sumwhere down the line i forgot all DJ skills and gave her too much attention....

To cut a long story short... interest levels fell and she decided to break up...

Now after the break she kept being in touch coz i was not initiating contact at all... she did so for 2 weeks... then i initiated complete NO CONTACT (didnt wanna fall into the friendship zone)... made her crazy for 2 days... picked up 1 call n told her i wanted no contact whatsoever as i cant be friends wid sumone i had intense feelings for... (Not to mention she told me she had been thinking bout me all day !!!!)

since then 6 days... no contact from either side...

Considering she kept being in touch shows she was still interested... i'm trying NO contact for 2 reasons :

(a) To truly move on
(b) As a tactic to maybe increase interest levels again - trust me.. if u can make a woman miss you enuf she will make herself believe she loves u...

and since too much attention is exactly what screwed me up in the 1st place.. NC shud be the best anti venom ;-)

Also considering we were together for 1 year and she invested a lot of time and emotions into it... it will make her think if she wants to put all that down the drain...

A lil more perspective - this woman is super hot - but highly unapproachable - extremely vary of relationships - was single for 2 yrs before i met her.. got close over 1 year and then we finally started seeing each other for 1 year...

Lets see what the power of No Contact brings forth...

DAY 6 and going strong !

 

[studioworks]

and to answer what i intend to do after NO CONTACT :

well the thing is.... if i go for 60 days without any contact what so ever... and continue improving my life... i would have moved on anyway...

If in this 60 day period.. she decides to contact me... i wont pick up atleast the 1st few calls... if a woman can make a decision to break up and can tell u that... trust me if and when she makes a decision to come back... she will let it be known to you... ANY WHICH WAY !

You gotta make a woman pay for hurting your feelings dude... you gotta make her work hard...

All this is ONLY if she still has feelings for me and misses me and wants me back... which is a BIG IF !!!!

Trust me guys this is the only way to get back your dignity after being dumped !

 

[Accension]

With no offence, your understanding of the game is primitive.
Do I smell a high schooler ?

 

[studioworks]

No offence taken ACCENSION...

why dont u share ur "mature" views wid us....

Playing the game is a lot of fun... but the true test of a DJ is in times of distress AKA Heartbreak !!!

 

[Igetit!]

Well guys the thing is.... I really loved her... wanted an LTR with her... things were going great... but i ****ed up coz sumwhere down the line i forgot all DJ skills and gave her too much attention....

To cut a long story short... interest levels fell and she decided to break up...

You say that giving her too much attention caused her to lose interest and made her break up with you,so your plan to combat this is to go TOTALLY to the other end of the spectrum to no contact at all.

Hmm. Well I've got to see this. I want to see how this turns out.

Now after the break she kept being in touch coz i was not initiating contact at all... she did so for 2 weeks...

So when she continued contacting you after the breakup,what did she say when she contacted you? What EXACTLY did she say?

then i initiated complete NO CONTACT (didnt wanna fall into the friendship zone)... made her crazy for 2 days...

What do you mean by "making her crazy"? What did she do?

picked up 1 call n told her i wanted no contact whatsoever as i cant be friends wid sumone i had intense feelings for... (Not to mention she told me she had been thinking bout me all day !!!!)

since then 6 days... no contact from either side...

I want you to take a look at something here....

You screwed up even more in the 1 phonecall you took from her.

You just made it worse. You unknowingly continued doing the same thing that caused you two to break up in the first place.




You said that you told her you had "intense feelings" for her.

Dude,you confessed your feelings.



You weren't kidding when you said that you forgot your "DJ" skills with this girl.



And another thing....She told you that she had been thinking about you "all day",right? She told you she had been thinking about you all day,then after that phonecall ended,you didn't hear another thing from her for the next 6 days.


You know why? Because you boosted her ego.


She called you,you told her you had intense feelings for her,then she was like,"Yeah,he still wants me".



You had a deadly combination going on there....

1)You confessed your feelings,which boosted her ego. And...

2)Since you STILL HAVEN'T returned to being that original "bad boy",she continues to feel NO ATTRACTION for you.



Put those two things together and you have an afc who confessed his feelings to her.


No wonder she's not interest.

Considering she kept being in touch shows she was still interested...

I have a question:if she's still interested in you as you say,then why don't you two just get back together?


What's the holdup? You need two willing people for a relationship,right?


You said you love her,so we know you're interested. And according to you,she's interested as well.


Ummm....ok...so what's stopping you two from being together?

Also considering we were together for 1 year and she invested a lot of time and emotions into it... it will make her think if she wants to put all that down the drain...

I agree with you here. In my opinion,the reason (or at least one of them) she keeps calling you is to see if THE GUY SHE MET A YEAR AGO and entered into a relationship with,the "jerk",ever shows back up.



You told her you have intense feelings for her. Would the "jerk" she met a year ago have done that?

Lets see what the power of No Contact brings forth...

Yeah,let's see.

 

[Kailex]

Now after the break she kept being in touch coz i was not initiating contact at all... she did so for 2 weeks... then i initiated complete NO CONTACT (didnt wanna fall into the friendship zone)... made her crazy for 2 days... picked up 1 call n told her i wanted no contact whatsoever as i cant be friends wid sumone i had intense feelings for... (Not to mention she told me she had been thinking bout me all day !!!!)

since then 6 days... no contact from either side...

So is this NC because YOU made it be NC or is this NC because SHE stopped contacting you?

I'm more akin to agree with the latter, simply because your cut-off time to begin the NC was right after you boosted her ego (as fellow professor Igetit! said).

The power of NC only works in certain situations and I am fairly certain that this isn't one of those... this will blow up in your face. I can just picture her calling you in about 2 weeks and you IMMEDIATELY picking up the phone and become a bumbling idiot while your heart is about to pound its way out of your chest.

And what's the point of NC for you, REALLY?
You don't have the inner game right now to pull this off, given your last phone conversation with her. Do you think that her IL will just raise and then just STAY there afterwards?

No.

After a month, you'll become a "chump" again and then her IL will dip again.

You are doing this strictly to get her back... which is exactly the wrong reason to do it for.

I bet you that if you tried to move on with your life in the most positive way... you'd probably notice the best results. Because as I can see it, she put YOU in NC... but can you keep it going?

I believe your 60 day count should really begin the next time she reaches out to you and you DON'T respond.

 

[tinctrar]

I may be a little late on this.

"Making a woman pay?" The way to make a woman pay is to make her think you were the best thing ever in her life. You do this by moving on and finding someone who qualifies (hotter, smarter, more athletic, more cultured, whatever...)

What does it really matter who initiated the no-contact?

The whole point of NC is so YOU move on. Not to get her back.

Do you really want to do this? You have to understand that the relationship is no more.

Just block her number. And delete her from the facebooks and twitters and junk.

Think about the fun time you have to yourself to improve your life. Since my last breakup (about 1.5 months ago) I started learning a new language.

My ex is probably banging her emotional sponge. I wish the best to both of them. I have let go completely. It feels good!

I spin plates and have fun. I dont want to be in a relationship until I find someone who qualifies. Does your ex qualify still? Think about that.

Wish you best of luck brother. Chin up!

 

[studioworks]

I guess i need to give u guys a lil bit more perspective on the situation....

U guys are getting it all wrong...

SO she breaks up... i dont make a single contact... she keeps trying to be in touch... tells me she misses me a couple of times when she sees me online.. keeps calling me.. tells me i was her life and she is soooo used to having me in her life...

Anywayz when she calls.. shez tryin to be nice to me... dunno whether she was looking for me to say lets get back or sumthin.... but that was 1 thing i wasnt ever gonna say....

Just to clarify - There is NO other guy in this situation (as yet atleast) and thats a fact !

Nonetheless... after about 10-12 days of this.. i decided if i wanted her back i had to give her the gift of missin me.. remember this woman was literally begging for my time all the time in the relationship... so much so that she wud beg to talk to me for 2 mins if i cud... (i have a pretty busy llife) due to her continuous efforts and my inclination we did end up spending a LOT of time together... BEAUTIFUL together time if i may add..

about the last call : she called coz i hadnt been taking her calls for the last 3 days or replying to her mesgs... she said she had been thinking bout me the whole day and so she called... said she didnt think i was gonna pick up the phone... i was anything but a wussy during this call... i told her she had made a decision and shud learn to deal wid it... that it was impossible for 2 ppl in an intimate relation to be friends (she said the "love" words 50 times a day to me during the relation) so it was only fair on my part to say i HAD intense feelings for her too... (we were both in love dude... and we both accepted it during the relation)

Not like i confessed my feelings ONLY in the last call...

The idea of NO CONTACT is :

a) MOVE ON - coz its been a lil difficult for me... i really loved her...

b) Even though we broke up she was still callin n mesgn and meeting me online - so she was getting me widout being wid me... i wanted to make a situation where if she was loosing me she was loosing me completely

c) Show her a life without me.. a.k.a the Gift of missin what we had... she deserves to be made to realize what she is missin.... rite ?

d) Maybe make her realize she made a mistake..

The way i see it.... i've initiated NO CONTACT on my terms... there is no backing off from it coz if i do it wud be the biggest wussy thing to do ever..

What i expect from it... to move on.... (already joined photography classes n salsa - things i've been wanting to do for a bit and also started working out again... which i was not getting time for earlier)

In the process if she tries hard and i mean really hard to make contact then i will review my situation at that time... if need be... else its all over the way i see it...

WHAT ELSE COULD I HAVE DONE IN THE GIVEN SCENARIO ?

 

[studioworks]

FYI - ever since the break up happened... and i realized what had caused it and that i had sumwhat reduced being the person i was in the beginning of the relationship... i immediately and slowly went back to being a lil bit of a jerk and being ****y funny and teasing her in all her calls... we never once discussed the break up during these calls.... so no worries on that count...

whether i did it too late.... maybe !

 

[studioworks]

What the fcuk... just got a call... didnt reply... was busy...

 

[SoldMySoul]

What the fcuk... just got a call... didnt reply... was busy...

Yeah and it will get worse when you start ignoring it. True NC is now my friend. She will HATE being ignored, be prepared to be strong or cave. Your choice.

 

[studioworks]

UPDATE :

Just received another message from her... saying she had been discussing me all day with her best friend who came into town and she thot she wud mesg and say "Hi".... i havent responded to the mesg as yet.. (been a day)

Guess NC is working.... honestly i didnt expect her to be getting in touch wid me at all...

Presuming a part of me still wants her back.... what shud be my approach now ? NC has maybe increased the Interest Level which spending too much time wid her had decreased... but now keeping NC as the ONLY strategy wont get her bk...

At what point shud i open communication channels again.... if ever ?

My thots.... she needs to work harder than just this message to make me break NC

IGETIT,... any thots on this situation ?