No contact Day 8 (i meditated and realized Deep meditation)

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Apr 2, 2024
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i sat down to meditate and reflect on my life and the decisions i’ve made which brought me here, i’ve had a couple of realizations about myself and my previous relationships, i’ve come to realize that the only reason that girl played me was not because i wasn’t good enough (which was the main thought in my head, had me extremely depressed) i was constantly asking myself why she won’t love me back even after doing so much for her.

I realized that i was lazy and complacent and i had self esteem issues. when a pretty girl showed interest in me without me trying really hard or leaving my comfort zone i became glued to her and made her my only source of happiness. i was over invested and everything she did affected me, i became a codependent simp. who was comfortable giving 90% and only receiving the bare minimum. i was even okay with not having sex with her as long as she was with me, i could sit here and demonize her, blame her, even hate her. but that won’t change anything, the only person to blame here is myself.

instead of feeling sorry for myself i’ve decided to put myself out there, go to the gym and use this as fuel for change in my life.
 
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