no contact after two dates

[pyros]

I went on two dates with this 20 years old chick. On both dates we had a blast, we made out heavily but I could not bang her because of logistics.

After our second date she texted me to show me some youtube videos etc, we exchanged some messages etc

Two days later I text her, I send her a pic, we exchanage a few more messages and she seems enthusiastic, fun, happy etc as always.

The next day I text her and she doesnt reply. Weird. Then at midnight I text her again, she replies, we have a dull boring exchange cause she's not talkative at all and doesnt give a shi-it all of a sudden. I ask her out for the next day and she says she's busy all day, I say no prob some other time.
There is huge change in her behaviour.

It's been four days and she hasnt initiated any contact. I suspect there is another guy.

Do I keep my NC...forever...?
I really liked her...damn.

 

[Suspens]

Who is this? "thelonewolflegend" ?

 

[DiegoSantori]

I suspect there is another guy.

Always trust your gut feelings.

Do I keep my NC...forever...?
I really liked her...damn.

Yes. Keep no contact until she reaches out.

 

[Golden Arms]

I wouldn't worry about it. Move on for now and game other chicks.

Females do stuff like that all the time. We've all had a girl go from red-hot to ice-cold on us in a blink of an eye.

 

[Harry Wilmington]

(Sigh) No one ever learns the lesson, or drills it into their head... so, I'll say it again:

1. Texting KILLS relationships
2. This is especially true in the beginning
3. When you're not in front of her, you shouldn't be in contact with her until you're ready to ask her out on another one-on-one in person DATE.

That's pretty much it - it's really, REALLY easy to keep a girl's interest if you just listen to the above 3 things, and yet people still have a hard time grasping this concept.

But fine - let's look at where you went wrong, shall we?

1. She texts you after the date - and then you got into a convo with her.

Doesn't seem like it would be a bad idea, right? After all, she initiated it, which is what we want them to feel like doing. However, YOUR mistake was (a) answering her back right away, and (b) not setting up a date for 3 to 5 days later during that convo. You need to be setting up DATES anytime a woman reaches out to you, and either ignore or significantly delay your response time, then say "Hey, I'm busy now but I'll see you on our next DATE." You communicate with her on the DATE, not in between dates.

2. You text her, and she seems enthusiastic

This is another mistake guys make - they see all these emojis and LoLs a girl sends to them and assume that's how she actually feels. Guess what, it's not - here, I'll prove it:


"Hey guys, guess what? My dad has cancer! I'm really sad about it, lol! :cheer: "

See that? I'm "happy" in my message, while feeling something else entirely in person. The reality is, her subconscious is actually NOT happy that it's hearing from you so frequently because (a) it's not giving her brain the time it needs to miss you and build up interest level, and (b) it's starting to make her less interest in you because you're taking part of the MYSTERY away from who you are. Specifically: she can't wonder about what you're doing or how available you may or may not be when you're readily available to talk to her at any time.

3. The next day you text her...

...and this is the NEXT mistake. Back-to-back texting days? Only if she's the girlfriend - if she's not at that stage yet, YOU initiating text messages everyday is a HUGE no-no, and one that is likely to cause her to become disinterested.

4. You text her AGAIN at midnight...

Stop. Just stop. Really - anytime after 10 or 11 pm, you should just stop calling/texting anybody unless (a) you already have plans set up, or (b) she's been flirty with you all day and you're trying to set up a booty call.

5. You have a dull boring convo...

...because text message convos are ANNOYING. And she doesn't want to keep talking to you on the dang phone; she wants YOU to ask her out so she can talk to you IN PERSON again. And plus - it's MIDNIGHT!! I tell my girlfriend not to call me after 11 or before 8 AM 'cause I'm TIRED and will be asleep! Maybe the convo looked boring 'cause she was trying to friggin' REST.

6. You asked her out for the next day...

...which is a "last minute date," which you don't set when you first start dating someone. You have a better shot at getting a date if you actually set up a day and time a few days in advance, with an ACTUAL date plan vs. "hey, we should do something tomorrow" (something = not having definite plan for her to get excited about).

7. It's been 4 days since she contacted you...

...because YOU are the man. And YOU are supposed to contact her. And not with random text, or "rapport building convos," but to ASK HER OUT ON A FRIGGIN' DATE. And when you do, you should be CALLING her, not texting and asking her out like a Beta would.

In short: your way of communicating with her is what's messing this whole thing up. Does this mean she's not uninterested? Maybe, maybe not. BUT, at the very least, you could find out by thinking of an activity you two could do 3 days from now (Sunday), then CALLING her to ask her out. Depending on her answer, you'll know if you have a shot still or not, but CALL her so you can tell, by way of her vocalizing an answer, if she sound excited, hesitant, or not interested. And for any future girls you date, STOP TEXTING THEM and ONLY CONTACT THEM FOR DATES.

Hope this helps

 

[pyros]

Hi Harry, thanks for the advise.

You forgot though, that she ignored one of my texts. I said that I texted her on Saturday and she seemed enthusiastic, talkative etc as before, but since I did nto have any plan in mind, I thought about asking her out the next day, so on Sunday I texted her and she ignored me...
I waited until middnight to text her again (she was online on whatsapp, so she was awake and talking) and we had this boring convo and she was "busy" for the next day and didnt even counteroffer.

You suggest I ask her out ...again after all this...?

 

[Greasy Pig]

Don't waste more time on an obviously uninterested and rude woman. You've made your intentions known, if she's interested she'll reach out to you.
Rejecting a date with no counter offer is the biggest and only indication you need that its cooked.

 

[skinnyguy]

Crazy.

I've gotten 12 numbers in the last week or so and texted them but most went ghost!!

I hate smartphones. It was so much easier in the early 2000's.

I feel like if you don't fvck her the night you meet her it won't happen ever lol

 

[Yewki]

I really liked her...damn.

This is your main problem. You place too much value on her.

You forgot though, that she ignored one of my texts.

Probably because you over texted her prior. And let me guess, this text she ignored wasn't a date arrangement either?

You suggest I ask her out ...again after all this...?

You have two options IMO.. 1) forget about her and move on, 2) wait a week and try once more, this time following Henry's advice. Personally I think you should do the second one.

 

[Trump]

Hi Harry, thanks for the advise.

You forgot though, that she ignored one of my texts. I said that I texted her on Saturday and she seemed enthusiastic, talkative etc as before, but since I did nto have any plan in mind, I thought about asking her out the next day, so on Sunday I texted her and she ignored me...
I waited until middnight to text her again (she was online on whatsapp, so she was awake and talking) and we had this boring convo and she was "busy" for the next day and didnt even counteroffer.

You suggest I ask her out ...again after all this...?

Yeah bro Harry's advise is little too specific for my taste, but as mentioned, you got to give her something to get excited about.

If you texted "I just got 2 tickets the XYZ concert, would you like to go?" no way she would ignore it.

You guys have to remember, girls aren't going to love you for you, they are going to love you because of what you can do for them. Give them something to get EXCITED about and you are golden.

 

[Infern0]

When you see lowering IL like this I wouldn't reach out again. She already blew you off so in this case move on and if she reaches out to you. Try set a date.

When a girl ignored your text, she saw the text she just rolled her eyes and thought "it's just him" because the guy she really wants is who's text she's waiting for. Continuing to reach out is disrespecting yourself.

 

[WorkHardPlayHard]

Always trust your gut feelings.



Yes. Keep no contact until she reaches out.

BINGO!!!! Some other guy is a better combination of looks and game than OP. And there he goes texting her multiple times in a row. If there was any chance, he pushed her all the way away. Game over.

(Sigh) No one ever learns the lesson, or drills it into their head... so, I'll say it again:

1. Texting KILLS relationships
2. This is especially true in the beginning
3. When you're not in front of her, you shouldn't be in contact with her until you're ready to ask her out on another one-on-one in person DATE.

That's pretty much it - it's really, REALLY easy to keep a girl's interest if you just listen to the above 3 things, and yet people still have a hard time grasping this concept.

But fine - let's look at where you went wrong, shall we?

1. She texts you after the date - and then you got into a convo with her.

Doesn't seem like it would be a bad idea, right? After all, she initiated it, which is what we want them to feel like doing. However, YOUR mistake was (a) answering her back right away, and (b) not setting up a date for 3 to 5 days later during that convo. You need to be setting up DATES anytime a woman reaches out to you, and either ignore or significantly delay your response time, then say "Hey, I'm busy now but I'll see you on our next DATE." You communicate with her on the DATE, not in between dates.

2. You text her, and she seems enthusiastic

This is another mistake guys make - they see all these emojis and LoLs a girl sends to them and assume that's how she actually feels. Guess what, it's not - here, I'll prove it:


"Hey guys, guess what? My dad has cancer! I'm really sad about it, lol! :cheer: "

See that? I'm "happy" in my message, while feeling something else entirely in person. The reality is, her subconscious is actually NOT happy that it's hearing from you so frequently because (a) it's not giving her brain the time it needs to miss you and build up interest level, and (b) it's starting to make her less interest in you because you're taking part of the MYSTERY away from who you are. Specifically: she can't wonder about what you're doing or how available you may or may not be when you're readily available to talk to her at any time.

3. The next day you text her...

...and this is the NEXT mistake. Back-to-back texting days? Only if she's the girlfriend - if she's not at that stage yet, YOU initiating text messages everyday is a HUGE no-no, and one that is likely to cause her to become disinterested.

4. You text her AGAIN at midnight...

Stop. Just stop. Really - anytime after 10 or 11 pm, you should just stop calling/texting anybody unless (a) you already have plans set up, or (b) she's been flirty with you all day and you're trying to set up a booty call.

5. You have a dull boring convo...

...because text message convos are ANNOYING. And she doesn't want to keep talking to you on the dang phone; she wants YOU to ask her out so she can talk to you IN PERSON again. And plus - it's MIDNIGHT!! I tell my girlfriend not to call me after 11 or before 8 AM 'cause I'm TIRED and will be asleep! Maybe the convo looked boring 'cause she was trying to friggin' REST.

6. You asked her out for the next day...

...which is a "last minute date," which you don't set when you first start dating someone. You have a better shot at getting a date if you actually set up a day and time a few days in advance, with an ACTUAL date plan vs. "hey, we should do something tomorrow" (something = not having definite plan for her to get excited about).

7. It's been 4 days since she contacted you...

...because YOU are the man. And YOU are supposed to contact her. And not with random text, or "rapport building convos," but to ASK HER OUT ON A FRIGGIN' DATE. And when you do, you should be CALLING her, not texting and asking her out like a Beta would.

In short: your way of communicating with her is what's messing this whole thing up. Does this mean she's not uninterested? Maybe, maybe not. BUT, at the very least, you could find out by thinking of an activity you two could do 3 days from now (Sunday), then CALLING her to ask her out. Depending on her answer, you'll know if you have a shot still or not, but CALL her so you can tell, by way of her vocalizing an answer, if she sound excited, hesitant, or not interested. And for any future girls you date, STOP TEXTING THEM and ONLY CONTACT THEM FOR DATES.

Hope this helps

I want to go through each one of your points and say how ****ing right they are, but that's a waste of typing. Simply quoting what you said is all I'm going to do.

OP, read his response 5 times, minimum. Then read it every day until you're conditioned to be like this. Text for dates, text *rarely* if you have something genuinely interesting to extend, or text to respond to her when she initiates FIRST. That's it. No more. She's getting your texts. If she doesn't respond, that speaks more volume than any response could. She ignored you, dude! Exit is >>> that way.

 

[Peña]

The next day I text her and she doesnt reply. Weird. Then at midnight I text her again, she replies, we have a dull boring exchange cause she's not talkative at all and doesnt give a shi-it all of a sudden. I ask her out for the next day and she says she's busy all day, I say no prob some other time.
There is huge change in her behaviour.

Keep the texting fun and not boring. If she loses interest there is not much you can do. Wait her her to contact you and look for new prospects.

 

[archon8692]

BINGO!!!! Some other guy is a better combination of looks and game than OP. And there he goes texting her multiple times in a row. If there was any chance, he pushed her all the way away. Game over.



I want to go through each one of your points and say how ****ing right they are, but that's a waste of typing. Simply quoting what you said is all I'm going to do.

OP, read his response 5 times, minimum. Then read it every day until you're conditioned to be like this. Text for dates, text *rarely* if you have something genuinely interesting to extend, or text to respond to her when she initiates FIRST. That's it. No more. She's getting your texts. If she doesn't respond, that speaks more volume than any response could. She ignored you, dude! Exit is >>> that way.

Agreed. It's soo easy to get sucked into the text vortex...but less is wayyy better than too many. From my experience, they all text the same stuff too. They suck attention out...then when you get on the date the texts had no bearing.

Plus if you text too much...there's nothing to talk about on dates.

This chick I just met called me and talked for an hour...then 2 hours later she called me again. I had nothing to talk about. It was odd.

 

[nismo-4]

Your princess is in another castle. Stop wasting your time, and the fact you care too much doesn't help.

Case closed. :yawn:

 

[DaddyLongShanks]

BINGO!!!! Some other guy is a better combination of looks and game than OP. And there he goes texting her multiple times in a row. If there was any chance, he pushed her all the way away. Game over.



I want to go through each one of your points and say how ****ing right they are, but that's a waste of typing. Simply quoting what you said is all I'm going to do.

OP, read his response 5 times, minimum. Then read it every day until you're conditioned to be like this. Text for dates, text *rarely* if you have something genuinely interesting to extend, or text to respond to her when she initiates FIRST. That's it. No more. She's getting your texts. If she doesn't respond, that speaks more volume than any response could. She ignored you, dude! Exit is >>> that way.

Texting too much kills dates. Some women eat it up and get dopamine rushes off of it like a rat!

However it doesn't gain you with her because 5 other guys are likely puffing her head up or giving her weird angle convo's on the text.

The thing to do is do what they are not doing. Don't complement as much, don't be as available, if they are all chasing don't chase her. Women with all this stuff like to try to catch a challenge and he might even be a lot meaner than the guys who are fluffing her up.

It's a really weird dynamic and boosted by the internet, smart phones and the social media. But we all need to be aware of whats going on.

You don't have the be the finest or suavest guy, because his convo or game can decrease him over what you bring to the table.

I would be passionate about my life, take not a lot of bs, have fun and if any female gets sucked into that give her a good time. Be aware of the games she plays and her psychology. Sometimes you might need to adjust yourself depending on the "target"...

Some of the other guys here know how to smash thru princesses in another castle with orbitters and a boyfriend that she cheats on... There is a method to the madness, but it is not in doing more than the other guys, but rather less...

She perceives it as higher value because most of them look at it like this.

 

[_sideways_]

Maybe shes on her period and is having really bad cramps lol

Dude, girls have days and weeks where theyre not fun to be around. Consider yourself lucky shes not stringing you along and giving you drama.