"no chemistry"

[omkara]

Hey what's up... So I went out on one date with this girl from OKC (website). We met for coffee and after a few days after I called her and left a voice mail inviting her to go to a show with me, to watch this drummer I was thinking of hiring. She didn't respond, so I figured she's not interested.

However, lately I have been trying the experiment of not nexting girls, but contacting them every once in a while afterwards. In fact Tyler Durden of RSD did this same thing when he was single. He basically never nexted girls. He would just keep a huge rotation and text one months later if he felt like it.

So I left her this message on OKC, throwing down the gauntlet. (She doesn't have text.) I said it's too bad we never got to hang out again, because she looked like she had some nice knockers under that sweater. (paraphrase)

So she writes me back a couple weeks later, saying, "I didn't think we had any chemistry." Now I know the conventional wisdom here is to next her, she's not interested blah blah. Ok but what if you turned this around and said how can I play this. This is a girl who's in her mid 30s, Iranian, very exotic, doesn't have a lot of american friends. And quite good looking but not in a mainstream way. In other words she doesn't get that much attention from random guys. I figure she must have had a reason to write me back. She could have easily left it where it was without feeling guilty or me feeling rejected.

Now the question is, if you wanted to take this as a challenge, how would you play it? What would be a fun thing to say? I'm not looking for any specific outcome, just want to see how far I can take it. It's like that 'make the ho say no,' philosophy...

 

[terran2k]

I think it's your ego not accepting the fact that she's not interested in you and you're trying to spin it like it some type of game or whatever.

..and "make the ho say no" isn't that gunwitch's saying? the same gunwitch that shot a chic in the face with a gun and got arrested?

 

[Jack-Torrance]

It's like that 'make the ho say no,' philosophy...

You do realize the guy who made up that "philosophy" recently got arrested for shooting a girl in the face, right?

But anyway, make a nerdy joke about chemistry, like say "Wha- I did chemistry at school and I am an electron, I was sure you was a proton"... I hope that joke works but I never did so well in that subject so chances are it makes no sense.

Also don't use OK Cupid, I think that site's for weirdos.

But yeah, she's not interested. It was a very clear and straight up way of saying so.

 

[Mantis Toboggan]

Now the question is, if you wanted to take this as a challenge, how would you play it? What would be a fun thing to say? I'm not looking for any specific outcome, just want to see how far I can take it. It's like that 'make the ho say no,' philosophy...

"Make the ho say no" refers to the sexual pursuit of a woman who may be interested. You touch her leg. She doesn't say no. So you touch her boob. She doesn't say no. So you try to finger her. She says "no." But at least you set the tone that you're going to be sexual.

Besides, even in your situation, the "ho" already said "no."

What confusion is there in a situation where there's ignored text/phone calls and a direct mention of "There's no chemistry". It's not a challenge. It's not even close to a challenge. It's a very direct "no".

 

[NoCommitments]

I agree with the boys...I got back in the game after a LTR & it took me a little while to differentiate a girl not interested with a girl that needs a little more modeling (comfort, attraction etc.)

It's def your ego like terran2k said bro.
The ego is THE BIGGEST c*ck blocker in our way!!! I'm still fighting my EGO every single day & every single missed opportunity to open a chick!

good luck

 

[Deadly_Ripped]

It seems like the "ho" just said "no." She didn't flake on you or make up excuses... she told you there she thinks there's no chemistry there.

If you had her phone number, why did you go back to OKC? That's regressing.

If you didn't have her phone number even after meeting up with her, then you and she are nonexistant and you should let this go.

I completely agree that you shouldn't next a girl at every gaffe that might possibly be a sign of low interest, but she flat out told you no.

 

[PapiChulo]

Make the ho say no is bull****. You persist but there is a line where you should not cross, and one should establish that line for themselves.


Putting the chick on a back-burner is a good way to get those women who are picky and wait someone perfect to come by hence they are naive and careful. Sometimes they need more time for you to build attraction and comfort.That's why you always assume that they havent been seduced by you yet. Sometimes it's pointless because there are better men than you out there who will attract her better.


On "chemistry": it's a bullsh!t term of saying that she doesnt see you attractive enough for her or different from what she would like to see in a partner, whatever that is she likes- looks,personality, money, d!ck, power, etc. And the reason for why it's bullsh!t lies in seduction. There's no need for chemistry when you are the one trying seducing the woman - she's just merely a submissive playa in this game - it's manipulation in a way.


On the side note: Iranian chicks dig their own in most cases (not to discourage you).

 

[omkara]

hmm ok thanks for the replies. It makes sense but I was just wondering why she wrote back. It seemed kind of pointless. Anyway that's cool...

 

[Deadly_Ripped]

It was probably politeness. She made it clear without being particularly mean about it.

Really, isn't it better getting a reply than just getting blown off?

 

[bluenorther]

I got that response after one afternoon visit with an internet meeting. She told me later, she was looking for that "weak-in-the-knees chemistry". This was a woman who was just shy of age 58, so you'd think she'd have the sense to outgrow that notion. To me, it screams "Shallow".
I'm sure she'll get it, with some Outlaw Biker who'll cheat on her.
She WAS awfully hot, amazingly enough. My buddies still remember her coming to see our event.

 

[Julius_Seizeher]

From your statements, I can make several deductions.

For instance-

You have learned a valuable lesson about the efficacy of online dating. For men, it's like kryptonite for getting laid. For women, their laptop becomes an endless well of risk-free male attention. So guys who meet women on dating sites are already at the tremendous disadvantage of seeming like a loser trying to get women on the internet. I know, it's a double standard, nonetheless it behooves a man to stay the hell away from dating sites. You are killing your inner game by trying to convince women to date you on the internet, I strongly advise you not to do it.

Also, the coffee date is a favorite pasttime for women. They love to feel important going to meet a guy and telling their moms about a coffee date, but it just seems like the guy is a puppy desperate to show her how sensitive and worldly he is. It's hard for me to quantify, but the coffee date seems to be an anti-sexual distraction for women.

I don't know, I am admittedly rusty on "dating" game. I just meet women here and there. Seems like a man is automatically, if subconsciously, regarded as a casualty of the meat market if he pursues women online.

 

[ARrocket]

It's hard for me to quantify, but the coffee date seems to be an anti-sexual distraction for women.

Agreed.

See it's hard with online dating because you can't just be like "hey come over" to some random stranger you've never met...but you gotta do something better than coffee. You're basically just spending an hour (or some other amount of time) sitting across a table from her and talking. Talking and talking and talking. What if you're having an off day, or she is having an off day? Then what happened to you will happen.

If you're gonna do a coffee date, at least get it to go and walk around or something. See, the trick is to get her moving and into a more fun frame.

In your specific situation, I would come up with some sort of excuse in a C&F way and ask her out to drinks instead. You don't have great odds, but if she bites, you can show her how awesome you really are

 

[omkara]

Actually it was an off day for me. I had gotten only 4 hours of sleep the night before, which is a bad habit of mine. And I was totally flat and tried to drink turkish coffee to get pepped up and then I ended up getting speedy and talking really fast. lol It's funny how, when you only meet someone one time, their whole impression of you is based on how you were that day. Personality is not a static entity.

You guys were also right about her being in it for the attention. On her profile it only says she is looking for friends, not even dating is mentioned. I tried to plow through that though.

I also think online dating is lame in a way. If I were more involved in the community I could meet women more organically. And the fact that I'm kind of reclusive and don't have a lot of personal connections, is a huge part of the inner game thing. So the online thing is, in my case at least, a way to meet women and practice game without having to fix the more basic inner game problems. Far from ideal.

 

[Zarky]

"There was no chemistry" means "I wasn't attracted to you." Or as Roissy would say: there were no 'gina tingles. Date other women.

This happens a LOT with chicks from OKC, since they get soooo much attention there. POF is a little better.