Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

No change, I can change, I can change, I can change, But I am deep in my mode

Eternal

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 7, 2001
Messages
5,513
Reaction score
10
No change, I can change, I can change, I can change, But I am deep in my mold

Ah, the art of pirating song lyrics as topic names...Like I said in my "It's all about the game, and how you play it..." post, I stated that you can become anything you want in your life. Everyone is born with potential for greatness. Now the question is, why doesn't anyone achieve it? Here is why and how to break it:

Your Self-Formed Shell: You put yourself in your own little safe-house. You don't want to get hurt, so you create rules to keep all the "bad" things away from you. You also only do the same things over and over again, since change can be painful. Ask yourself the following questions: Are you afraid of success? Fear of failure? Or do you fear change in your life? If yes, why? Write the reasons down. That will help once you know what is keeping you from your potential.

Break the shell like a Fortune Cookie: Once your reasons are down on paper, figure out a way to get away from them. One example is: Fear change? Start small. Choose a different drink for dinner. Eat breakfast if you usually don't. Listen to a different cd then you usually do. Then go to a different hangout. If you always go to the mall on a Saturday, go to a bowling alley instead. The point is, push your limits. You'll know it's working when you start to get a hard feeling in your stomach.

Go out a conquer the world...Sort of: Once you get out of your daily routine, keep that new routine for a week. Once that happens, "kick it up a notch!" as Emrill would say. Push your limits even more. Do not fear fear. "I stared fear in the eye and he blinked" is one of my favorite quotes. Look fear in the eye in every situation. Conquer fear and your potential will be limitless. Also, read Sammo's post, "Sammo's Ramblings: Shyness and embarrasment" for more ways to break out of your shell.
 
Last edited:

kevbo

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Nov 27, 2002
Messages
220
Reaction score
0
Location
Utah
yay! first reply (for once)! anyway, excellent post. so true...
 

Bjon

Don Juan
Joined
Jul 25, 2003
Messages
96
Reaction score
0
Age
37
Location
Utah
Excellent post.

Originally posted by crazykid
Once that happens, "kick it up a notch!" as Emrill would say. Push your limits even more. Do not fear fear. "
I love that guy. He's the best.
 

Titus

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Aug 12, 2001
Messages
300
Reaction score
1
Location
Slovenia
Hello!
First a disclaimer:
Usualy i wouldn't do this, because what others think of me is not important, but this time, i'll break that rule for, i hope, an answer that will give me to think also.
Crazy, i think you are a smart kid. Our looks on certain things are very different, but how you look at them is entirely you own decision. I can tell you as many times as you want, that i am merely expressing my opinion without trying tu put anybody down, but still, look at it however you want. If you feel treathened by it... that is totaly of your own making, and not even in the slightest, my intention.
Now, if you want, read on.

It's quite interesting how you choose "Bitter Sweet Symphony" as your main thought, because that song is quite the opposite of most of what you have written...
And by the way, it "mold," as in being shaped, not "mode."

Originally posted by crazykid I stated that you can become anything you want in your life. Everyone is born with potential for greatness. Now the question is, why doesn't anyone achieve it?
I think the question is something else... what is really "greatness?" What is "success?" Where are it's limits?
If you ask me, for most people it's this:

"Cos' it's a bittersweet symphony this life...
Trying to make ends meet, you're a slave to the money then you die."

Most people see success in being better then others. In today's society that means lost of money and lots of material possessions. Or you can choose whichever other place to compete with others. Sports, looks, take your pick.
But the unfortuonate thing here is that you are a slave to that success. You want to keep it up and you don't want to fall back in it. So in truth... you don't really own it... it owns you. And with that, anger, frustrations and lots of nights without peaceful sleep go hand in hand.

Originally posted by crazykid Your Self-Formed Shell: You put yourself in your own little safe-house. You don't want to get hurt, so you create rules to keep all the "bad" things away from you. You also only do the same things over and over again, since change can be painful. Ask yourself the following questions: Are you afraid of success? Fear of failure? Or do you fear change in your life? If yes, why? Write the reasons down. That will help once you know what is keeping you from your potential.
Very smart Crazy! That is all indeed true! You don't want to get hurt and that is why you make up rules in your head. But you forgot to write the most important thing... the safe-house and rules are really PRODUCTS of wanting to be successful and fearing to fail. They coexist hand in hand. As long as you want to be successful, and to be better the someone else, they you will always be afraid, to some extent, of finishing second.

Originally posted by crazykid Break the shell like a Fortune Cookie: Once your reasons are down on paper, figure out a way to get away from them. One example is: Fear change? Start small. Choose a different drink for dinner. Eat breakfast if you usually don't. Listen to a different cd then you usually do. Then go to a different hangout. If you always go to the mall on a Saturday, go to a bowling alley instead. The point is, push your limits. You'll know it's working when you start to get a hard feeling in your stomach.
I love this one. Even thou i don't agree with "what are the reasons" part, the rest is great. Change does good, yes. But on the other hand, change is always for a reason, and that is why it never brings true hapinnes, because it always stops somewhere.

Originally posted by crazykid Go out a conquer the world...Sort of: Once you get out of your daily routine, keep that new routine for a week. Once that happens, "kick it up a notch!" as Emrill would say. Push your limits even more. Do not fear fear. "I stared fear in the eye and he blinked" is one of my favorite quotes. Look fear in the eye in every situation. Conquer fear and your potential will be limitless.
I don't like this one. It's much to capitalistic and "work your ass of till' you drop dead" for me. Allright, here's what i think:
Potential is limitless... that's where the exact trap lies, that seems like a very invitable smelling flower, but in truth, it's a wasp's sting. A mucho, MUCHO big one!
All of our lives we are taught to be successful, but no one ever tells us what it's true definition is. And what are it's consequences. Sooner or later you get stuck in it. You compete without even knowing why, just to keep that standard, that you think you have. As i said before, you don't want to fall back, and so you race on and on. And the more medals you get and the more success you have, the more you have to keep it all up... the more you get, the more you have to defend and be on alert all the time, to not lose it.
That is how i see success. Being successful always means a reason, and that never brings true hapiness.

Now, before replaying, i advise you to once again read the second paragrpah of the disclaimer i wrote.
 

Ronny_Neumonic II

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 26, 2003
Messages
504
Reaction score
0
Age
39
Location
18
Excellent crazykid :)



To Titus:

You say that success can end up owning you, which is an interesting theory, but to take that view, you could also say that laziness will also own you. Everybody has their "thing", if ya know what I mean. Yours is coming on these forums trying to sound as radically philosophical as possible, and you try and show everyone that you are GOOD at it. Therefore you contridict what you have just wrote. I mean why even make a reply if you didn't want anyone to notice it?


Everybody NEEDS to be successful sometimes, whether it be cooking a nice meal, or going to the shops to get a paper. Just because somebody will be successful in making a million $ on a business deal, doesn't mean they are somehow a "slave" to being siccessful.



sorry if that was a bit rambly :)
 

aBAzLLnA

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 21, 2002
Messages
736
Reaction score
0
wow thats a great point!

i think u hit the nail on the target Titus, bravo!

ive never thought about what the true meaning of success is. success i believe isnt a competition, success is you exceding or meeting your own placed standard. people these days base their standards on other ppls standards and lose track of their own being and end up competing for no reason except for recognition!

and as Sammo says, do away with recognition and dont strive for it.

failure on the other hand would be not meeting your own par and KNOWING that you couldve done better.

once everyone can define success on their own terms, you have a reason to live and something to strive for and nothing can get in ur way of meeting that goal. FOCUS

~ivan
 

Titus

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Aug 12, 2001
Messages
300
Reaction score
1
Location
Slovenia
Originally posted by Ronny_Neumonic II You say that success can end up owning you, which is an interesting theory, but to take that view, you could also say that laziness will also own you.
Yes, it can own you. Here's my theory on laziness:
You see Ronny, i'm like you in a way, and like all the rest of the children of capitalism -since i could think, feel and see for myself i was thought to believe in work and striving for more and i simply cannot imagine how it would look to be without a care in the world, exept the most primal one, to bring food to the table and have a roof over my head. Or to say it differently, we have been TAUGHT to feel bad, when we are doing nothing. How laziness would look, if we would even consider it laziness, without that teaching, i do not know and cannot say. But for sure, we would percieve it very differently.

Originally posted by Ronny_Neumonic II Everybody has their "thing", if ya know what I mean. Yours is coming on these forums trying to sound as radically philosophical as possible, and you try and show everyone that you are GOOD at it. Therefore you contridict what you have just wrote. I mean why even make a reply if you didn't want anyone to notice it?
*sigh* You got me there Ronny ma' man! It's true. As i said in one of my first posts here, i post because of 2 reasons, one is to fill my ego, second because i like thinking. I feel as if i'm not really posting because of others, but partialy on the hidden and dark side, i know i am. Being approved, or dissaproved, by others is still tempting, i admit.

Originally posted by Ronny_Neumonic II Everybody NEEDS to be successful sometimes, whether it be cooking a nice meal, or going to the shops to get a paper.
I'm not so sure about this one. What is the real reason behind it? Is it natural or is it society inflicted? I don't know, but in both cases, it is unhumanly boosted by our society, or in other words, taught. And the less of that, the better.

Originally posted by Ronny_Neumonic II Just because somebody will be successful in making a million $ on a business deal, doesn't mean they are somehow a "slave" to being siccessful.
Depends on how you look on it. A million is much money, so it is a chain by itself, but if the guy is not afraid of losing them, and could well live totaly satisfied without it, then good. He is not a slave to it. But if he doesn't want to lose the cash, and maybe wants even more of it next time, then yes, he is a slave to it. And the more he'll have, the more he will have to protect and be wary of not losing. The stakes go only up and up.

Originally posted by Ronny_Neumonic II sorry if that was a bit rambly :)
Hey, don't worry! It's us who ramble that keep this world turning :D
 

Eternal

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 7, 2001
Messages
5,513
Reaction score
10
Titus - Whew, nice to be able to write a reply without thinking "this is full of shit." ;) First off, I choose "Bittersweet Symphony" as the title because of the lyrics for the post. "No change, I can change" is what really started it. As far as it being "deep in my mode," well...Chalk that one up to the chime being played at the same time, lol. Secondly, I feel that you can have both a "fear of success" and "fear of failure." You don't lock yourself up in hopes of being successful. Once you become successful, things change. If you fear change, then you fear life itself. You can be afraid of both (or all three) in my opinion.

I like how you brought up "what is success." I deem success to be when you push yourself and try and achieve your dreams and make them a reality, then you dream somemore and try again. What's the point of having dreams if you are just going to keep dreaming? By the way, that line "you're a slave to money, then you die" is a line I was thinking of as a title...Everyone is posessed to get that last dollar at all costs. The question is: why? Do material possessions make you feel more powerful, even if you hate yourself for having them?

Ronny - Everyone needs to be sucessful at one thing in thier life. Why? Don't tell me you get an adrenaline rush from it. BUT, only some people keep striving to be sucessful. Why? Either they are adrenaline junkies who are looking for thier next big "high," or they are trying to live out a dream.

PS - Edited the title of the post to fit the lyrics. Thanks for the correction Titus.
 

Drow

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Sep 16, 2002
Messages
232
Reaction score
0
Age
40
Location
eternity
Titus,

You seem to be suggesting that we can find happiness in being stationary..

Isn't reaching our true potential as human beings what its all about? Sure we never stop growing/changing, but that is life. We all want to improve and keep improving.. who wants to stay fat, unattractive, and have poor social skills?

Slave to success? What is wrong with wanting to reach your full potential. To be able to get what you want out life.

SOME people obviously are distorted when they think material things and such equals success. I can see where the confusion lies. People think that if they work hard enough and get enough money their problems will be solved.

I think success is growing, changing, and becoming the person you want to be.
 

Oxide

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 21, 2003
Messages
3,230
Reaction score
26
There is a question everyone in this world should ask himself. That question is "Why am i doing this?"

I am going to college this year, and if i asked myself "Why are you doing this?" id answer - to get a degree.."whY?" so i have a job. "whY?" so i have money , "why?" so i can buy stuff i want...

BUT, whoever said all this time and effort that you put into this will really make you happy? a lot of people get caught up in this life, working all day long chasing the dream of "happiness". And then they realize they chased away half of their lives for nothing.

Why not enjoy my life RIGHT Now? Why not spend the money i earn, instead of working my ass off just to pay for college? What if i dont live long enough to finsih college, then all this would be just a simple waste.

The whole idea of happiness if too complex to understand. Every person percieves happiness as something different. Some people are happy because they spend 50k on a car, but what if it breaks? does that mean you are not living a happy life anymore? People mix happiness with material possessions all too often, and this is where the problem lies.

True happiness should be found within yourself first, then you will not feel the urge to buy it.
 

CableLight

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 6, 2001
Messages
2,408
Reaction score
0
Age
40
Location
Exactly where I want to be.
Re: No change, I can change, I can change, I can change, But I am deep in my mood

Originally posted by crazykid


I like guys.
Uhh...
 

Eternal

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 7, 2001
Messages
5,513
Reaction score
10
Re: Re: No change, I can change, I can change, I can change, But I am deep in my mood

Originally posted by CableLight
Uhh...
Damnit Mike/Frank, stop changing my post.
 

Titus

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Aug 12, 2001
Messages
300
Reaction score
1
Location
Slovenia
Originally posted by Drow
Titus,
You seem to be suggesting that we can find happiness in being stationary..
Isn't reaching our true potential as human beings what its all about? Sure we never stop growing/changing, but that is life. We all want to improve and keep improving.. who wants to stay fat, unattractive, and have poor social skills?
Slave to success? What is wrong with wanting to reach your full potential. To be able to get what you want out life.
This one is interesting.
What is wrong with living to the fullest you say? Trying to be better all the time? I'll try to answer that one:

As i see it, you can have 2 ways of reaching your full potential:

1.
You simply live and work without thinking how much potential you really have. You don't compare yourself to others, you do what you like doing and you are one happy fykcer.

2.
To be competetive. Your full potential is full when you have beaten all the others around you and shown that you are Nr.1.
Now, this can be fun of course. It's stressful, it brings nights without sleep, but you have that crown on your head, which can bring you joy. You can be happy, even thou that happines is not true hapiness and it can vanish anytime you lose the crown. You may live like that for 10,20,30 years, or your whole life, and you can be happy all the time, with being the big cheese. I cannot say how it feels, but i can tell you how it feels if you ever starts doubting the crown you are wearing and if you ever ask yourself "Why am i really doing all of this?"
Here goes:

Maddona, American Life
(I left out less importatn parts of the song)

I tried to be a boy
I tried to be a girl
I tried to be a mess
I tried to be the best
I guess I did it wrong
That's why I wrote this song
This type of modern life
Is it for me?
This type of modern life
Is it for free?

American life [American life]
I live the American dream [American dream]
You are the best thing I've seen
You are not just a dream [American life]

I tried to stay ahead
I tried to stay on top
I tried to play the part
But somehow I forgot
Just what I did it for
And why I wanted more
This type of modern life
Is it for me?
This type of modern life
Is it for free?

This was written by the woman that has been the absolute Nr.1 in pop music for the last 20 years and who has seen everything there is in music buisness. The lyrics tell it all.
 
Top