Nightclub Game

[Rubato]

I'm embarrassed to admit I don't get this, but I'll never get any better if i don't figure it out. What in the world are you supposed to do at a vegas style dance club? Me and my wing feel like there are all these AFC chumps who understand the dynamic there and we don't get it at all.

Loud music, booze, dolled up women, grinding on them. Like, this is why I feel stupid for even asking a question like this. I just don't know how it works. Are you supposed to just find a girl who doesn't have a guy all up on her and assert yourself? Do you ask her to dance? Do you bring her on to the dance floor from the bar?

I'm used to dancing venues that are ballroom oriented and formalized, you ask the girl to dance and walk her to the dance floor. It obviously doesn't work like that in night clubs.

I just don't understand the social dynamics of these places and I'd really appreciate it if someone could spell it out for me. I hear people talk about ONS's they get at these places and I mean, I don't know if I believe it or not. I don't see very many girls leave by themselves and don't see a lot of girls coming in with a guy. It just pisses me off to no end that I'm not any better at this stuff. I don't even care about a freaking ONS right now, I'd be happy just to have the sexual power to bring a girl out of her set and make the 2 of us a set. And I see guys doing this. What the h#ll are they doing?

 

[dub_g]

I know this is my first post and all but this is pretty much the only place where I get my girls so think I can help you out. Basically at a nightclub the more social/energetic you are the better your results. You hear it time and time again but people go to the club to have a good time, if it looks like you can provide this, girls will naturally gravitate toward you. (Especially if you're good looking)

There are pretty much two ways you can get girls at a club.

1.) Go up behind her on the dancefloor and just grab her and grind. (Note this would work on, at most, 15% of girls at a club and if you are rejected in this fashion too many times your chances with the other girls in a club, understandably, plummet drastically.)

2.) Talk to a girl/group of girls, be friendly and bring something to the table. This means being funny, good looking, rich or by I guess embodying the sort of 'alpha male' talked about on here so much. (This is also much easier with an equally confident and motivated wing, don't have a weak wing they can ruin the mood.) Once you establish some familiarity you can either move on, planting the seed for later in the night or try and isolate right away by either bringing the whole group to the dancefloor and picking one, or by taking your 'target girl' alone on to the dancefloor.

Basically you need to get the dancefloor involved at some point, although this doesn't seem as though it would be a huge problem for you as described your dance experience. (This is a good advantage.)

Personally I will talk to around 3 or 4 groups of girls either by myself or also occasionally I will introduce a friend, my 2 or 3 wings will do this too and we then know, between us, the majority of the groups in the club. (I will generally go to a small club because of my location.) We will also know which ones seem receptive and which don't etc. The best part of this approach is that you are only being friendly, not overly creepy or aggressive, just friendly and social. When these girls inevitably join the dancefloor at some point in the night you then have an easy path into their group.

Despite me trying to explain it like this, nightclub game, like any other type of game isn't an exact science, and it work best by trial and error. Just go out, take a few risks, and find out what works for you and what doesn't.

If you are a competent dancer, even just smiling and grabbing a girl by the hand then spinning her round a few times might get her a little wet for you..

 

[Rubato]

That's for addressing my question dub_g! Let me get just a little bit more of your insight here...

The biggest issue I've been having with the clubs around here is that they're so loud, conversation is basically not going to happen. There's one bar that has a bar separate from the dance floor, but it's still pretty freaking loud. Maybe I'm wrong, because I've always been a day game guy (my first crack at night game was last weekend), but it just doesn't feel like trying to have a shouting match with a girl against the music is going to work. I do best at the bar that's the most chill in the area because I can actually talk to the girls and game them with language.

But people aren't talking to each other at these nightclubs. I spent about 45 minutes observing what was going on yesterday and the only people I see talking either know each other or are not successful. So how do you get your game to work around an environment where you can't talk? You mentioned something about going around and talking to these girls before you get them to the dance floor... I assume you're not having a super involved conversation with her. Elaborate on that a little more, specifically when at one of the clubs, I can hardly hear my wing. let alone even try and hear a girl!

Also. I never knew the meaning of the word b1tch shield until last weekend. The girls are seriously ridiculously impolite, rude, obnoxious, and in many cases, it seems not capable of actually enjoying themselves. Add this b1tchy element to the mix and how do you work them?

Finally, when I look around and watch what everyone else is doing, I see a bunch of guys giving attention and value to a bunch of girls who have done nothing to deserve it and are generally not reciprocating that value. Girls are generally in some cluster and guys come up behind them and start dancing on them. And usually, nothing changes. The guy or the girl leaves and he's super replaceable because p#ssy has such high market value. I don't want to get caught up in this trap of just being some guy who validates a girl's attention insecurities and ends up sacrificing an element of my self respect in the process. Seriously, all these guys are in an outer circle of the girls staring at each other while they text each other random factoids of BS.

I just don't think I'm comfortable in the environment yet at all. I am a very attractive guy and get compliments from girls on the way I dress and my level of cuteness/sexiness on a regular basis, from college to bars. I have awesome clothes, a great sense of style and dress to impress. No one else ever looks quite like I do, so I'm very memorable. This is good because I start running in to girls I don't remember who wave, smile, w/e at me, but my night game is not solid at all yet, so you can see where this wouldn't be bad.... they'll remember me for better or for worse. I'm a much more serious guy than my wing and he's very good at helping bring up the enthusiasm meter. And I realize working a club is not the same thing is figuring out a physics problem, but there has to be a game plan somewhere that I'm not seeing.

The most successful I've ever been was last night. My idea was that the club environment is already a highly sexualized area, and so what's the first thing PUA people tell an aspiring PUA to do? Do what everyone else is not doing. So when I did find a girl who didn't have a guy dancing on her that wasn't a total ugg or fatty, I just went up behind her and started dancing on her. I didn't know if that's how you are supposed to do it or not, but using the strategy I've only been rejected a few times. All of the guys I saw dancing would start off by subtly going up against the girl almost like it was a compliance test, and if she went with it, the guy could go in and this seems to help dramatically lower the chance of rejection. All the guy has to do if a girl isn't feeling it is walk to the next girl 2 inches away. However, this isn't very balsy or alpha IMO.

So I go up behind girls more aggressively and like I said, assert myself. I start off with my hands on their hips just like every other guy, but quickly start moving my hands all over their bodies and pulling them in close to me. I direct the way they're grinding against me, not leaving it up to her. I move my head in close to hers and start smelling her hair aggressively, pulling it, breathing across her ear, and maybe even nibbling on her earlobe. I'm assuming that because I'm a sexy guy, dressed sexy, and acting sexy, and she is still jiving with this, she's gotta be getting turned on somewhere. If you read my field report from last night, you'll see that some drunk jack @ss who instigated a fight ended up screwing things up with me and that girl (I had just started making out with her), but somewhere it seems to me that you've got to turn the girl around or move her somewhere if you're gonna get anywhere with her... You can't just leave her standing in a circle texting all of her friends. That's what everyone I see does and I don't see it leading to any great feats of success.

So, I've said enough to give you an idea where I am. I really appreciate your advice bro

And anyone else can jump in here too!

 

[dub_g]

Just took a glance at your journal bro, nice work man! I have a lot of work to do in terms of my day game so that helps me a bit as well, keep it up.

I do best at the bar that's the most chill in the area because I can
actually talk to the girls and game them with language.

This is the exact same thing with me so I'm not sure I could actually be of too much help. I am relatively articulate and witty especially with a couple of drinks in me and a vibrant atmosphere, im also an above average looking guy (not the type to get mass compliments though) so conversation is my best bet.

Therefore I usually go to the clubs with a seperate, slightly more quiet bar where conversation is more feasible. In these areas I will like to have a light hearted conversation, perhaps asking groups of girls to buy me a drink or something like that. This obviously isnt your problem however.

Noise is obviously a pretty big problem when trying to communicate, it can also sometimes work to your advantage in terms of providing an excuse to isolate her, take her outside etc.

What I have used once that worked is when I was dancing in proximity to a cute girl, I typed onto my phone "hey your cute, whats your name?" she quickly got out her phone and responded back. We wrote a few messages like this before I moved to isolate her. It was a bit cheesy and gimmicky but it was pretty funny at the time, not sure if it is something you could, or would want to always use but perhaps keep it as a hail mary play? haha

Another thing is i'm not sure if your clubs have lines? Sometimes I will line up for 20-25 minutes outside a club and this time is a great chance to talk to girls around you, especially since they basically have to talk to you haha.

Also. I never knew the meaning of the word b1tch shield until last weekend. The girls are seriously ridiculously impolite, rude, obnoxious, and in many cases, it seems not capable of actually enjoying themselves. Add this b1tchy element to the mix and how do you work them?

I definately know what you mean by this, but you say you do day game right? When you do that surely you can tell which girls are approachable and which arent? Its the same in the club, some girls will be smiling and looking social, these are the girls who are unlikely to act rude towards you. Eventually you will gain a good sense of this.

Girls predominantly go to clubs for attention, this is something you must understand before getting too frustrated with nightclub game. See that girl by herself (or with one other girl) in the middle of the dancefloor, dancing sexy with a circle of guys around her? Guys will stare at her, give her attention, make plays at her all night before she goes home, content, to some guy who treats her like a doormat.

Seriously, all these guys are in an outer circle of the girls staring at each other while they text each other random factoids of BS.

That is something Ive noticed as well, this means that the girls certainly do. You need to quickly distinguish yourself from these guys as the longer you look at a girl or think about what to do the longer you are associated with them. I sometimes get involved in the middle of their group and just dance like a clown, usually one of the girls will get it and create a sort of dance off situation. Then you can flip it with your friends and make the girls go in the middle and sort of validate themselves to you.

All of the guys I saw dancing would start off by subtly going up against the girl almost like it was a compliance test, and if she went with it, the guy could go in and this seems to help dramatically lower the chance of rejection.

This is also not how I like to do it. It is so noticeable to me when a girl positions herself close to me and bumps me, you think a girl doesn't notice this tentative move? If you are going to go with the dancefloor grab method it has to be, for me, one bold, confident, movement. Also it would help if she has noticed you and given you eye contact beforehand.

I really don't know how to help you with all of this stuff because everything that frustrates you, frustrates me, and im sure everyone else in here as well. In saying that, I'm sure if you are really as stylish and attractive as you say you are you shouldn't be too far away from success.

Basically what works for me is go to the club and do what I want to do. If I want to talk to her I will talk to her, if I want to grab her and dance I will. This will lead to you having a good time regardless of the result.

 

[Rubato]

Words of wisdom: from the content in your posts, you think WAY too much in your head.

Just go out and approach.

Also, if you want to make it easy on yourself, pop a Viagra, and go talk to chicks. You will be ready to fvck them right there and then! They will feel it, and no matter what you say, it's time to fvck!

So try it out!

LOL dude, viagra will make it easier to get an erection, but any effect on libido is placebo! If I was going to take anything to make improve my game, I'd pop some Dexedrine and Xanax. But my game is subject to the same regulations as any other legit sport No doping!

I am a musician and an artist studying to be a doctor, I spent most of my life in my head, either analytically or philosophically. You guys all say that.

-Stop being in your head.
-Girls are not engineering problems. Stop trying to solve them
-Just go out and have fun
-Have no set expectations
-Ect. Et. Al

And all of this stuff is great, I agree with it. But when you don't know how to do it, it's not very good advice! That would be equivalent to you asking me how to treat cancer and I say, "Oh, all you have to do is stop those dang cells from reproducing "

That answer doesn't really help. And neither do any of these answers.

In fact, I think it hit me while I was in my car thinking about all of this, doing that terrible thing everyone says not to do... thinking. Maybe this is something you can't explain to someone. Maybe it's something they have to have modeled for them for a long time in order for them to internalize it. I think it is highly unlikely that a guy will be ambitious and/or determined enough to stick with trying to figure this stuff out himself without a good model.

You can tell a guy who thinks like me forever to stop thinking. But it's not going to help because you're telling me to do something that I don't understand how to do. I've thought and reasoned my way throughout my life, from literally as long as I can remember back in Kindergarten! That's probably why I'm on this board right now and read all this pickup stuff.

Maybe I'm totally wrong, but for me, I feel like I need a theoretical model to absorb, internalize, and understand and work backwards from there. That's how I started with day game. And it took a long time before I became more congruent with it, but it did start to work. It wasn't enough for me just to go up to strangers and start naturally vibing with them because I literally had no idea how to do that. I remember when I was seeing a councilor several years ago articulating to him that I didn't even feel like I knew how to talk or make conversation with people in my classes. That guy was obviously worthless. I got more out of reading David Deangelo's book and the other PUA material I've read than I ever did from that guy.

Anyways, I'm going on a rant here. If you have anything else you'd like to add real2, I would appreciate it

@dub_g:

Thanks for your response! I really appreciate it. Maybe we can help each other out as we figure this out

 

[Victory Unlimited]

Night Club success is mostly about maximizing the superficial aspects of who you are (your best physical qualities such as how you look, how you dress, and you act), then---------PROJECT that in the most confident way possible.

In night clubs, unless you are a celebrity or the party thrower (which I HIGHLY recommend), the odds are always stacked in the favor of attention seeking women and the most stylishly flamboyant guys. You are also competing against the environment itself (the darkness, the distraction of flashing lights, the loudness of the music, and the constant cycle of guys hitting on the SAME girl over-inflating her ego).

With all that being said, the most basic way to succeed is to exude a positive "the party is wherever I"M AT" vibe that attracts a lot of women. If you enter the scene with the attitude of "I'm IN HERE------not let the good times begin", then you'll come out way ahead of most guys who show up looking too cool to dance, but not too cool to whole up the wall with their "backs" for most of the evening.

Also, bringing your own fan club (group of girls with you) to the club works wonders on women who tend to go for guys that they think are ALREADY popular. And by the way: These women that you go to the club with DON'T have to be anything but friends, coworkers, school mates, or whatever.

The most important thing is that they be as ATTRACTIVE as possible. Why? Because nothing brings out the competitive side of "club girls" like trying to take a guy away from a bunch of OTHER attractive girls.

Understandably, this is a SAD state of affairs. However, that doesn't make it any less true.


Soldier on.



V.U.