Nice guys vs. bad boys
by Analise Pendergast
It’s just not that easy being a guy in this post-post-feminist era. How’s a man supposed to know anymore whether it’s cooler to be the strong, silent type, or the soft-spoken communicator? Do women prize the wild renegade, or crave the stable breadwinner? When it comes to the age-old bad boy vs. nice guy debate, what do women really want?
Guys, the secret is out: women want it all. From the rough-edged swagger of the sexy stud, to the soulful whispers of the softhearted sweetie, today’s women appreciate a man who can strike just the right balance of being:
Tough and tender. Whether you’re wielding a socket wrench or a kitchen spatula, being a capable man with a can-do attitude is a definite turn-on. Show her you have what it takes to step up to the plate, whether it be building a tree house, fixing a flat, or tenderly listening to her tales of woe when she’s had a bad day.
Playful and all grown up. A childlike spirit is a lot of fun, but a childish spirit is a lot of work. Be her best friend and favorite playmate, but don’t put her in the position of being your Mama by forgetting you’re an all-grown-up man who cleans up after himself, shares responsibilities, and treats her like a respected equal.
Confident and curious. Confidence is sexy, but bullheadedness is boorish. Know your stuff and tell it like it is, but be sure and keep an open mind to new ideas and the opinions of others (especially hers!).
Complex and sane. A man with many interests and involvements is intriguing, but a man with excessive issues and bad-boy behaviors is irritating. If you’re carrying baggage or bad habits that are getting in the way of a healthy relationship, don’t expect your S.O. to take on the job of savior. Take your troubles to a therapist and do what needs to be done to put them in the past. Let your lady friend revel in being your lover, your partner, and your biggest fan.
Masculine and accessible. Masculine is hot, but macho is cold. Legends of the silver screen notwithstanding, the sex appeal of the strong, silent type is an outdated cultural myth. Women really appreciate a man who’s a man through and through, with the cojones to open up his heart and share his emotions.
Stable and spontaneous. Whether you’re a C.E.O. or an E.M.T., women like a man who takes pride in his work and does his job well. But a workaholic who loves his job more than life itself is no fun, so be sure and leave plenty of room in your schedule for quality downtime, whether it be taking her out for a night on the town or just relaxing in front of the tube, hand-in-hand.
Unflappable and funny. Integrity and strength of character are at the top of the list when it comes to qualities that women look for in a man. But don’t take that serious side so far that you forget how to crack a joke and have a good laugh — because a good sense of humor is key to keeping that adorable smile on her face.
by Analise Pendergast
It’s just not that easy being a guy in this post-post-feminist era. How’s a man supposed to know anymore whether it’s cooler to be the strong, silent type, or the soft-spoken communicator? Do women prize the wild renegade, or crave the stable breadwinner? When it comes to the age-old bad boy vs. nice guy debate, what do women really want?
Guys, the secret is out: women want it all. From the rough-edged swagger of the sexy stud, to the soulful whispers of the softhearted sweetie, today’s women appreciate a man who can strike just the right balance of being:
Tough and tender. Whether you’re wielding a socket wrench or a kitchen spatula, being a capable man with a can-do attitude is a definite turn-on. Show her you have what it takes to step up to the plate, whether it be building a tree house, fixing a flat, or tenderly listening to her tales of woe when she’s had a bad day.
Playful and all grown up. A childlike spirit is a lot of fun, but a childish spirit is a lot of work. Be her best friend and favorite playmate, but don’t put her in the position of being your Mama by forgetting you’re an all-grown-up man who cleans up after himself, shares responsibilities, and treats her like a respected equal.
Confident and curious. Confidence is sexy, but bullheadedness is boorish. Know your stuff and tell it like it is, but be sure and keep an open mind to new ideas and the opinions of others (especially hers!).
Complex and sane. A man with many interests and involvements is intriguing, but a man with excessive issues and bad-boy behaviors is irritating. If you’re carrying baggage or bad habits that are getting in the way of a healthy relationship, don’t expect your S.O. to take on the job of savior. Take your troubles to a therapist and do what needs to be done to put them in the past. Let your lady friend revel in being your lover, your partner, and your biggest fan.
Masculine and accessible. Masculine is hot, but macho is cold. Legends of the silver screen notwithstanding, the sex appeal of the strong, silent type is an outdated cultural myth. Women really appreciate a man who’s a man through and through, with the cojones to open up his heart and share his emotions.
Stable and spontaneous. Whether you’re a C.E.O. or an E.M.T., women like a man who takes pride in his work and does his job well. But a workaholic who loves his job more than life itself is no fun, so be sure and leave plenty of room in your schedule for quality downtime, whether it be taking her out for a night on the town or just relaxing in front of the tube, hand-in-hand.
Unflappable and funny. Integrity and strength of character are at the top of the list when it comes to qualities that women look for in a man. But don’t take that serious side so far that you forget how to crack a joke and have a good laugh — because a good sense of humor is key to keeping that adorable smile on her face.
