Yeah this is so true. I think the kind of niceness people appreciate is the one where you are nice just because you want to. Learn to differentiate between someone being needy and someone respecting you. It's ok to help people when they ask something of you. A needy person will try to convince you otherwise by making you feel like sh!t if you don't, a good person will offer something in return or accept a no.
Surprisingly it worked extremely well to be nice and do things slowly in a nightclub, because nobody else does that. It's not about sucking up to them, it's about knowing what actually makes them feel good. Sure it's manipulation, but as long as your intentions are good who gives a fvck.
Above all, pay attention outside yourself and you might discover that nothing is like you think it is.