Well here is my opinion, from experience and from observing others. If you are the 'nice guy', as in needy, always giving her attention, basically putting her on a pedestal, you lose. This is common knowledge.
But I have seen guys that buy gifts, return her 'I Love You' everyday, do favors for her, pay for all their outings, and have these girls crazy about them, ready to marry them. And I have been the guy that did those things and had her hooked too.
But there was one common theme I left out which was true in my case and the guys I observed. The physical/sexual aspect came first before all the behavior we know to be damaging. It may not have been all out sex, but the wall was torn down at least, at the least making out had already taken place, and alot of times sex.
I'll agree that the girls you see who are in a r'ship w/ an a$$hole, have a poor self image, their insecurities weigh heavy on their mind, even if they are hot. And I mean guys that truly are pricks, humiliate them in public, never listen, always talk about themself, etc. I 'am not saying be a nice guy'
That word really has alot of meanings IMO. I'm not saying a jerk is good either. When you think about why a guy acts like a jerk to everyone (his insecurity), I don't see why the hell anybody would want to be a jerk. Think of a guy you know like this, and really observe him and why he acts as he does, you'll see dead through it, and it really is pathetic. He lives in a fantasy world, he has fabricated, and is constantly telling, trying to prove to others that he is 'worthy'. He 'really' knows he is a loser, so the jerk role is there to cover up the loser. After all, he thinks it's better to be seen as a jerk than as a loser. So he beefs up those jerk attributes, and displays them, desperately hoping they will 'cover up' the TRUTH. It being he is insecure/loser.
Negative actions/behavior from the jerk draw lots of attention, he knows it, therefore the focus will be on how he is a jerk, not on the truth, that he is a loser. And he needs the attention/drama, just like an attention wh0re does, to stroke his fragile ego, b/c it's already on the verge of shattering into a million pieces, and he constantly lives in fear of this, so the jerk facade goes on.......those 'jerk' behaviors draw the attention he needs to sustain his fanatasy land, and it draws attention AWAY from the TRUTH, which is what he wants. The jerk lives his life in FEAR OF THE TRUTH!
The truth being he isn't as great as he portrays himself to be, not even close. He can easily dish out insults, and does so often, to try and demean others to make him 'look' good or better. But try returning his insult or criticism, he CANNOT take it! Why? His fantasy land he created is under attack, you may be onto him, and what is inside his fantasy land he MUST protect, it is the TRUTH! He can dish it out, but he can't take it.
He has created his own self-paralyzing/defeating cycle. He is INSECURE that people may see he is INSECURE!!! He won't face his fear like a man. So he always tries to top any story told, always acts as if he knows EVERYTHING, and that he has never done anything stupid or embarassing. He damn sure won't ever mention such a thing, instead tells of how great he is/was at this or that, w/out even being asked.
Yea, what a winner he is. So why does he get girls? No news here, they buy his facade, or they are very insecure, (all people are insecure, to varying degrees, and confidence fluctuates) Even when she sees through his facade, she may stay w/ him b/c she had sex w/ him, that wall is down, he has probably hurt her, maybe cheated, so she begins to look for a better prospect, but has him as backup, to protect her, so she can't really be rejected, she too is insecure and deathly afraid of rejection. So the jerk is in that 'holding pattern' while she looks, so preoccupied with maintaining his fantasy land, he has no clue as to what is really happening.
The nice guy, huh? I used to be one too. Used to? I 'am' a nice guy. But not the same way I used to be. I know Pook said it, and Don Phenom as well. My old nice guy saw the girl as the fragile prize. He didn't kino, he surpressed his sexuality and masculine desires. HE walked on eggshells with women. HE cared greatly if he did or said something that may 'ruin his chances'.
I still am nice in alot of ways. I think Pook said it all in the Desperation post he wrote. " YOU are the man, You must be in charge. YOU set the rules, NOT the other way around, after all, YOU are the prize to be sought."
That says it all, it explains why guys can do 'nice' things and not get dumped, they think that way, and act that way, and it shows to the woman, she senses it. She knows he isn't the needy, loser, chump 'nice guy'.
Rather he is a MAN, and there is nothing wrong with a man being nice. He can be nice because he is confident, and he is not trying to maintain a fantasy land with negative/rude/a$$hole behaviors, like the jerk IS DOING. The jerk probably wishes he could be nice, but his insecurity prevents him from doing so. The jerk thinks that being nice will lower him off the pedestal he has placed himself on, one he created b/c of his insecurity, to convince himself he is as good or better than others.
Think of that guy, the one that isn't friendly, acts like an a$$hole, never introduces himself to others, never initiates a convo with you upon first meeting you, he may after talking w/ you a few times first, but never to begin with. He has this jerk wall up tp protect that TRUTH he is trying to hide. You would have to initiate the convo w/ him, until then, he 'acts' like he is too good or has nothing to say to you. In reality he is nervous as hell, paralyzed by his fear of the truth, hence his jerk attributes. Think of this guy, or notice one in the future you haven't met yet. Look in his eyes when a person he doesn't know walks in the room, whether that person be you or someone else. I sware, you can see it in his eyes, the fragility of his world, the fear he lives with and lets control him.
As far as who does better coming here, I don't know, but I don't think many 'jerks' as I see them would come here, they are too stupid to consider improving, too busy maintaining their fantasy worlds they made, and too busy trying to convince others that their 'fabrication' is real, not a 'cover up'.
But I have seen guys that buy gifts, return her 'I Love You' everyday, do favors for her, pay for all their outings, and have these girls crazy about them, ready to marry them. And I have been the guy that did those things and had her hooked too.
But there was one common theme I left out which was true in my case and the guys I observed. The physical/sexual aspect came first before all the behavior we know to be damaging. It may not have been all out sex, but the wall was torn down at least, at the least making out had already taken place, and alot of times sex.
I'll agree that the girls you see who are in a r'ship w/ an a$$hole, have a poor self image, their insecurities weigh heavy on their mind, even if they are hot. And I mean guys that truly are pricks, humiliate them in public, never listen, always talk about themself, etc. I 'am not saying be a nice guy'
That word really has alot of meanings IMO. I'm not saying a jerk is good either. When you think about why a guy acts like a jerk to everyone (his insecurity), I don't see why the hell anybody would want to be a jerk. Think of a guy you know like this, and really observe him and why he acts as he does, you'll see dead through it, and it really is pathetic. He lives in a fantasy world, he has fabricated, and is constantly telling, trying to prove to others that he is 'worthy'. He 'really' knows he is a loser, so the jerk role is there to cover up the loser. After all, he thinks it's better to be seen as a jerk than as a loser. So he beefs up those jerk attributes, and displays them, desperately hoping they will 'cover up' the TRUTH. It being he is insecure/loser.
Negative actions/behavior from the jerk draw lots of attention, he knows it, therefore the focus will be on how he is a jerk, not on the truth, that he is a loser. And he needs the attention/drama, just like an attention wh0re does, to stroke his fragile ego, b/c it's already on the verge of shattering into a million pieces, and he constantly lives in fear of this, so the jerk facade goes on.......those 'jerk' behaviors draw the attention he needs to sustain his fanatasy land, and it draws attention AWAY from the TRUTH, which is what he wants. The jerk lives his life in FEAR OF THE TRUTH!
The truth being he isn't as great as he portrays himself to be, not even close. He can easily dish out insults, and does so often, to try and demean others to make him 'look' good or better. But try returning his insult or criticism, he CANNOT take it! Why? His fantasy land he created is under attack, you may be onto him, and what is inside his fantasy land he MUST protect, it is the TRUTH! He can dish it out, but he can't take it.
He has created his own self-paralyzing/defeating cycle. He is INSECURE that people may see he is INSECURE!!! He won't face his fear like a man. So he always tries to top any story told, always acts as if he knows EVERYTHING, and that he has never done anything stupid or embarassing. He damn sure won't ever mention such a thing, instead tells of how great he is/was at this or that, w/out even being asked.
Yea, what a winner he is. So why does he get girls? No news here, they buy his facade, or they are very insecure, (all people are insecure, to varying degrees, and confidence fluctuates) Even when she sees through his facade, she may stay w/ him b/c she had sex w/ him, that wall is down, he has probably hurt her, maybe cheated, so she begins to look for a better prospect, but has him as backup, to protect her, so she can't really be rejected, she too is insecure and deathly afraid of rejection. So the jerk is in that 'holding pattern' while she looks, so preoccupied with maintaining his fantasy land, he has no clue as to what is really happening.
The nice guy, huh? I used to be one too. Used to? I 'am' a nice guy. But not the same way I used to be. I know Pook said it, and Don Phenom as well. My old nice guy saw the girl as the fragile prize. He didn't kino, he surpressed his sexuality and masculine desires. HE walked on eggshells with women. HE cared greatly if he did or said something that may 'ruin his chances'.
I still am nice in alot of ways. I think Pook said it all in the Desperation post he wrote. " YOU are the man, You must be in charge. YOU set the rules, NOT the other way around, after all, YOU are the prize to be sought."
That says it all, it explains why guys can do 'nice' things and not get dumped, they think that way, and act that way, and it shows to the woman, she senses it. She knows he isn't the needy, loser, chump 'nice guy'.
Rather he is a MAN, and there is nothing wrong with a man being nice. He can be nice because he is confident, and he is not trying to maintain a fantasy land with negative/rude/a$$hole behaviors, like the jerk IS DOING. The jerk probably wishes he could be nice, but his insecurity prevents him from doing so. The jerk thinks that being nice will lower him off the pedestal he has placed himself on, one he created b/c of his insecurity, to convince himself he is as good or better than others.
Think of that guy, the one that isn't friendly, acts like an a$$hole, never introduces himself to others, never initiates a convo with you upon first meeting you, he may after talking w/ you a few times first, but never to begin with. He has this jerk wall up tp protect that TRUTH he is trying to hide. You would have to initiate the convo w/ him, until then, he 'acts' like he is too good or has nothing to say to you. In reality he is nervous as hell, paralyzed by his fear of the truth, hence his jerk attributes. Think of this guy, or notice one in the future you haven't met yet. Look in his eyes when a person he doesn't know walks in the room, whether that person be you or someone else. I sware, you can see it in his eyes, the fragility of his world, the fear he lives with and lets control him.
As far as who does better coming here, I don't know, but I don't think many 'jerks' as I see them would come here, they are too stupid to consider improving, too busy maintaining their fantasy worlds they made, and too busy trying to convince others that their 'fabrication' is real, not a 'cover up'.