"nice guy" / "jerk" explained

[wannabesuave]

I had an "aha!" moment this morning: I think I finally figured out this mystery about girls being attracted to "jerks" and not "nice guys". Maybe some of you already understand this, but it was a revelation to me.

It's not that girls like guys who mistreat them, or dislike guys who are nice to them - rather, they're attracted to attractive guys, who generally know they're attractive and in demand, and have therefore come to treat girls in a less than chivalrous way, i.e., they behave like jerks. "Nice guys", on the other hand, are generally nice because they're not attractive, don't have easy success with girls (and probably NO success with hot babes), and they therefore know that they have to be "nice" if they stand a chance.
If they don't enjoy success with girls in spite of being nice, it's not because they're being nice, but because they're unattractive to begin with, and even being nice won't help.

In other words, girls are attracted to "hot" guys - guys who are handsome, confident, happy, energetic, leaders, popular, athletic, well-dressed, wealthy, etc., etc., etc., period. If such a guy were nice, it would NOT be a turn-off to women. But such guys don't have to be nice - they can get pretty much any chick they want without too much trouble, because they are the "naturals", blessed with the good genes that give them the traits women are attracted to. Since they know they're in demand, and can easily get another chick any time (and probably have a few in play at any given time anyway), they don't have to kiss-up to girls. On the contrary - girls will put up with a lot of **** from these guys that they would never put up with from more ordinary guys.

Non-hot guys, those who are introverted, not as handsome, loners, quiet, non-athletic, non-leaders, etc., can't get away with NOT being nice to girls - they HAVE to be nice to them, or they don't stand a chance. And here we're talking about ordinary girls - not hot babes. Maybe if you aren't a natural you can NEVER get a hot babe, regardless of all the techniques you read about and practice, just like if you don't have the right genes, you can practice football all you want, but you're NEVER gonna get into to NFL.

Make sense?

 

[Bonafide]

Durrrrrr

 

[wannabesuave]

Let me add that I fall into the non-hot guy category. (I've always known it, though I like to delude myself that I'm actually a hot guy, and that somehow the hot babes just don't see it.)

Seriously though, I think I still have hope. That hope is MONEY. If I can figure out how to get seriously rich, I'll always be able to get a hot babe, even if I have to pay for her. What do I care? As long as she can pretend to like me, that'll be good enough.

 

[comic_relief]

congrats

You figured out a pivotal part of DJ-ism. Women are attracted to traits that are sexy.

This entire idea of jerks/nice guys is a falacy. Women really just find traits that are attractive. If you cultivate the traits, then women will fall for you as well.

comic_relief

 

[comic_relief]

Let me add that I fall into the non-hot guy category. (I've always known it, though I like to delude myself that I'm actually a hot guy, and that somehow the hot babes just don't see it.)

Seriously though, I think I still have hope. That hope is MONEY. If I can figure out how to get seriously rich, I'll always be able to get a hot babe, even if I have to pay for her. What do I care? As long as she can pretend to like me, that'll be good enough.

True, who needs a girl to actually like you for who you are. That is just silly talk. :crackup:

comic_relief

 

[ItsOnNow]

Interesting post,sums up alot that has bothered me. I mean,how do you be attractive or in demand as you put it? Is it really you either got it or you don't? How much of it is natural,how much is it societal influence?

I also disagree with what you say about being nice because you allegedly have to. If some chick,hot or not,does or say something I don't like,I'll call her out on it. Why should you kiss anyone's ass? Maybe I'm not mr.hotstuff,but I don't kiss anyone's ass.

I am I guess Somewhat shy/introverted/loner/non-athletic/non-leader type who doesn't wear brand name clothes,but I wouldn't kiss anyone's ass. If there's two personality types I can't stand,it's control freaks and ass kissers.

And another thing,I know this isn't popular opinion,but I find alot of the regular girls as you describe them,very attractive. I feel like I can't get with anyone,that's alot of reasons though. Mostly lazyness and not taking enought action,plus probably looking at too much porn. I also want someone to like me for me.

Also,what if you don't have the traits as you described?

 

[Max Power]

I had an "aha!" moment this morning: I think I finally figured out this mystery about girls being attracted to "jerks" and not "nice guys". Maybe some of you already understand this, but it was a revelation to me.

It's not that girls like guys who mistreat them, or dislike guys who are nice to them - rather, they're attracted to attractive guys, who generally know they're attractive and in demand, and have therefore come to treat girls in a less than chivalrous way, i.e., they behave like jerks. "Nice guys", on the other hand, are generally nice because they're not attractive, don't have easy success with girls (and probably NO success with hot babes), and they therefore know that they have to be "nice" if they stand a chance.
If they don't enjoy success with girls in spite of being nice, it's not because they're being nice, but because they're unattractive to begin with, and even being nice won't help.

In other words, girls are attracted to "hot" guys - guys who are handsome, confident, happy, energetic, leaders, popular, athletic, well-dressed, wealthy, etc., etc., etc., period. If such a guy were nice, it would NOT be a turn-off to women.

Maybe if you aren't a natural you can NEVER get a hot babe, regardless of all the techniques you read about and practice, just like if you don't have the right genes, you can practice football all you want, but you're NEVER gonna get into to NFL.

Make sense?

I have to disagree with this and the part i highlighted shows the true defeatism and hopelessness agenda of the OP.

Again the girl likes the jerk because of his confidence. He may be a jerk, but she is attracted to his confidence.

Not every good looking guy is not nice to women and pulling chicks. A lot of them are nices guys and wind up in the Friendzone. I'm sure some will chime in here soon. If they were picking up constantly, then this theory would be true and those guys wouldn't be here.

 

[Tear Gas]

eh...even hot guys that are wayy too nice to girls or have no backbone can be a turnoff to girls.

 

[Mavrick]

It's an attitude more than anything else. Being a hot guy isn't about being a member of a lucky sperm club, but more of how you carry yourself.

Girls love guys that love themselves and are full of excitement. There are plenty of ugly (unhot guys) with beautiful women. On the same note, there are plenty of "hot guys" that can't keep a woman because they are chodes/AFCs. They lack the self-love, self-respect, self-value, and excitement that successful guys have.

 

[mikeyb]

It's evolution. If you don't display at least SOME alpha male qualities, you won't get laid, even if an modest amount of alcohol can sometimes do the trick .

 

[Warrior74]

It's an attitude more than anything else. Being a hot guy isn't about being a member of a lucky sperm club, but more of how you carry yourself.

Girls love guys that love themselves and are full of excitement. There are plenty of ugly (unhot guys) with beautiful women. On the same note, there are plenty of "hot guys" that can't keep a woman because they are chodes/AFCs. They lack the self-love, self-respect, self-value, and excitement that successful guys have.

This guy nailed it.

Non-hot guys, those who are introverted, not as handsome, loners, quiet, non-athletic, non-leaders, etc., can't get away with NOT being nice to girls - they HAVE to be nice to them, or they don't stand a chance. And here we're talking about ordinary girls - not hot babes.

They don't HAVE to be nice. They CHOOSE to be nice. Because they THINK they have to. But as we all know, it doesn't work. So if you are this type of guy don't try being "NICE" just treat her like anyone else and move on with life.

 

[Groovy]

Nice is actually good.

I think I'm the ****, so I'm nice to everyone. I like spreading my hapiness. "Let's put a smiiile on that face!" ()

But I don't do it for approval - key aspect.

If I was the same but I was rude to people they wouldn't like me as much.

If you're a challange (Most jerks are) AND are nice, you got it!

Kind of like a gentleman!

 

[*RHCP*]

All this guy did was take a concept from the DJ bible and twist it so that it included a genetic excuse for guys not being able to get girls.

 

[wannabesuave]

I wannabe a goddam man, I just don't know how. I guess that's why I'm here, trying to learn. I'd love to hear anything more specific you care to add.
Thanks.

 

[Wodan]

start weight lifting frequently and correctly, eat healthier and notice how you become a hell of alot more manly. I think you can 'act' like a man or be one and being one is probably easier and wont ever get you caught out.

Your testosterone levels will rise making you more attractive and also give you much more drive to actually approach.

one thing ill say though is that muscle and stuff comes alot quicker than the mentality, if you do it well youl still feel like a small guy(personality) even though you are big, once your brain catches up i think it will solve most of your problems.