NEXTing situation? How do I read this?

[OleRyder]

OK, folks...

I'm kinda continuing my earlier "no response to kino" thread. Received an Email from the lady in question. Among fluff talk, she makes the following points:

1. apologizes for being, as she put it, aloof that night,

2. Says she doesn't know what she wants from a relationship/life/etc.,

3. Says she still wants to hang out if I can deal with her indecisivness.

So... looks like a classic NEXTing scenario, but she's too good a person to next without giving it some further shot (to those screaming "one-itis", I disagree: I simply rate her as the top of my current dating prospects, and I do keep my options open). Ideas, comments, suggestions - paticularly would like to hear from all the fine ladies here on this board? My plan so far is to ignore that Email and keep going as if nothing happened - how does that sound? Thanks y'all!

 

[WatchMeWalk]

I've lived a similiar scenario myself. Here's a direct translation of her email from ******** to plain English.

1. She's apologizing because she's afraid of losing a male attention source.

2. She does not want a relationship with YOU.

3. She wants to string you along while she plays the field looking for the better man she thinks is out there.


You're welcome

 

[Rev]

I agree with WMW but I personally would not NEXT! this one just yet. I don't know how extensive your bag of tricks is just yet but there are definitely ways to increase a chick's IL if she'll give you the time (unlike chicks who just avoid you altogether).

 

[Survivor]

WatchMeWalk, I no longer believe in ********, but that's a whole other post. Here's another opinion.

I read the other thread and from the info you've given us it sounds like you're doing the right thing. Ignore her emails and up the ante. From now on only communicate through the phone or in person.

Quite frankly, it sounds like she's into you, but she's testing you 'cause she's afraid of appearing too easy. You know, the "slut" factor.

Your next move should be to increase the sexual tension. You need to kiss this girl real soon. And none of that peck on the lips sh!t either. Go for the jugular. Tounge in throat. Interested or not, at least that way you'll know the truth.

 

[OleRyder]

UPDATE

Well, went out with the lady in question again. Movie, coffee at the bookstore (we happen to be very compatible in that respect). Got a kiss at the end of the evening (pity kiss, probably), but when I tried to take things further, got same lines: "I need space - can't figure out what I want - life's too complicated" and an invitation to join her for dinner with her friends Saturday (to which I said, "I'll see if I'm available" - and, naturally, I won't be ;-) ). Was REALLY tempted to call her on her BS - "Look, some call it 'indecisiveness', I call it 'mindf *ck'." (which is something I still might do), but she doesn't seem like manipulative kind. Not NEXTing her yet, but she's on the very back burner: no contacts for a couple of weeks whatsoever. Will update on where it goes.

 

[Reto]

If you quit calling her, the interest level is gonna go up.

Don't next her, just quit giving her the attn she's craving.

 

[OleRyder]

Reto - it's not like I'm calling her daily... I've read the Bible, y'know. ;-) Three weeks, 4 contacts, 3 dates, those are the stats. Still, not getting in touch until after next weekend.

 

[Reto]

Didn't mean it like you were. Just need to get her interest level to rise...

 

[trajhenkhet]

Back off for about a week or two. Either she'll come back or never contact you again. Its up in the air. But your a man. Made of metal, rock and water. You'll survive either way.

 

[OleRyder]

End of the story, I guess.

Well, got a turn-down Email: "a relationship is probably not what
I need right now because even a good one complicates things" - that's because her last b/f was an insecure manipulating loser (insecure: stayed in a relationship that wasn't right for her or HIM; manipulating: complicated things beyond necessity; loser: it was an LDR, for dog's sake). Not Emailing back, not calling, but if I run into her that's what she's going to hear. On the bright side, her co-worker that I dated briefly (we split because I intended to move - but I'm not planning to anymore) got in touch, so I'll have to see where THAT might go. Wish me luck!

 

[icehot]

Yikes. it looks like WatchMeWalk was right on the money.

-iceH