Next move?

[whtbullitt]

Hello all, I am new here and looking for advice.

I have been texting with this woman now for about a week and a half. We went out on Thursday night with the kids (she has 2, I have 1). We got to talk a decent amount and we hugged at the end as she said "it was nice to meet you".
On Friday, the texts were light as I did not want to come off as needy but she did ask if my daughter liked her. She mentioned that my daughter's birthday was in April and that she was going to do her makeup for her, so she showed interest and concern that my daughter liked her.

On Saturday she didn't contact me at all until 11 pm but it was because she said she had a migraine (she gets them once a week), so I believed her. She then asked what I was doing Sunday. I asked her if she wanted to grab breakfast. She then said, "depends, what time"? And I said "we don't have to, just thought I would offer".

Then she stopped texting me until 4 am saying "Ugh, Im so bored why do you have to live so far " So i text her back around 5 am saying "Make it sound like I am in another state and what would you do? Watch me sleep"? And I have not heard back from her since....

I text her 2 times on Sunday, once at 1:30 pm saying "hope your sunday is going good." then I waited until 3:30 since my plans changed and said "would you want to do something tonight? If I am bothering you just tell me."

I know I shouldn't have added that last part but what did I do wrong or could have done differently? And what is my next move? I seen she was on facebook but I did not message her, so I know she was around and not "busy".

Advice?

Thanks!

 

[Pimp-sicle]

Hello all, I am new here and looking for advice.

I have been texting with this woman now for about a week and a half. We went out on Thursday night with the kids (she has 2, I have 1). We got to talk a decent amount and we hugged at the end as she said "it was nice to meet you".

Some interest is there, too early to tell plus the kids were there.

On Friday, the texts were light as I did not want to come off as needy but she did ask if my daughter liked her. She mentioned that my daughter's birthday was in April and that she was going to do her makeup for her, so she showed interest and concern that my daughter liked her.

Here's your first lesson. Never put too much stalk into what a woman SAYS, her words really don't mean $hit in the grand scheme of things, instead watch her ACTIONS if you want her true intentions or feelings.

Secondly, you have only went out with her once I take it and you guys are already texting/talking everyday? This is never good because it makes you look desperate and to me it seems like your hoping for a relationship when you don't even know this girl yet.

On Saturday she didn't contact me at all until 11 pm but it was because she said she had a migraine (she gets them once a week), so I believed her. She then asked what I was doing Sunday.

Okay second lesson....you don't need to respond to every single text she sends, especially right away. These are all things that give away your hand in this early dating game. It shows her your interested, which is fine, but you don't want to come off as OVERLY interested aka coming on too strong too soon.


I asked her if she wanted to grab breakfast. She then said, "depends, what time"? And I said "we don't have to, just thought I would offer".

Not insulting you, just curious, why would you offer breakfast when she tells you she has a migraine? I know they can go away in a few hours, but your not giving yourself the highest chance of securing a date when there's already a potential obstacle in the way. Also don't be in such a rush to ask her out as I mentioned.

You should have just answered the question and told her what you had planned for the day. Then based on her reaction, you could have set something up OR she would have asked to join you. Also even if you had absolutely NOTHING planned you never want to say that to a women, LIE if you have to, sounds cheesy but remember your still in the courting phase, a woman wants someone interesting so if your not that interesting, at least trick her into thinking you are.

Then she stopped texting me until 4 am saying "Ugh, Im so bored why do you have to live so far " So i text her back around 5 am saying "Make it sound like I am in another state and what would you do? Watch me sleep"? And I have not heard back from her since....

Uggh....why did you text her back dude!! This chick has you wrapped around her finger. Sounds like you either don't date much or your clingy. The proper response here, was no response.

Secondly your response was an insult, that's the way she took it. Remember to put things like "lol" or "haha" or "just kidding" so the person on the other end has an idea if your serious or not. This is why I hate text, when someone doesn't know you well they can take your message the wrong way.

I text her 2 times on Sunday, once at 1:30 pm saying "hope your sunday is going good." then I waited until 3:30 since my plans changed and said "would you want to do something tonight? If I am bothering you just tell me."

Again, no offense here, just trying to teach you, but your coming off as the woman in this situation so far. Don't send texts like "hope your Sunday is going good." Its obvious your reaching out to see if something is up, but CALL HER....lol

And the next text as you recognize is a dagger, you just said "hi I'm really insecure, why don't you like me?"

I know I shouldn't have added that last part but what did I do wrong or could have done differently? And what is my next move? I seen she was on facebook but I did not message her, so I know she was around and not "busy".

Advice?

Thanks!

Well you did a lot wrong to be honest. One you framed her as the great catch and were trying to please her from day one. In the future your interactions with women need to flipped around, YOU need to show them that YOU are the great catch and they are lucky to get any of your time. This will have the woman chasing after you, always available to see you and literally waiting for your call.

Stick around, read and absorb, keeping going on dates and you will learn.

As for this girl, I'd leave it alone, you have already reached out twice now with no reply, she knows you've called and is choosing to ignore you. If she wants to get in contact with you she will.




PIMP

 

[runner83]

Yeah, like the Pimp said, I think you blew it by coming off as needy. Last text was bad, bad, bad, bad.

Go no contact for a week, then try one more message or call.

If she doesn't respond, delete her number.

 

[whtbullitt]

Thanks for the responses, and I don't take any of it as an insult, it is valuable info I need to learn. I was married for awhile and kind of new to the whole texting game so anything to improve my skills (or lack of) is great. If it helps any, she did arrange the first date and asked me out.

In this situation, she works 3rd shift and I work 1st and she had a weird sleep schedule so I never wanted to call figuring I might wake her up and as far as asking her for breakfast, she said her headache was better and she knew I was supposed to have plans for later. I got blown off by my mom and a chick on the same day lol.

Anyways, thanks again guys, I will keep reading and learn!

 

[Rethnu]

Then she stopped texting me until 4 am saying "Ugh, Im so bored why do you have to live so far " So i text her back around 5 am saying "Make it sound like I am in another state and what would you do? Watch me sleep"? And I have not heard back from her since....

She said "Could you come over and do me now" and you replied with sometihng useless one hour later, so at that time she most likely finished masturbating already and was sleeping

As I see it she's definitely interested in you, but try to focus on face-to-face communication, that way it's easier to understand what she wants, cause humans communicate with their whole body.
Only use text messages to fix a certain date/time for a coffee or whatever.

And never forget that you're the man, you're in control, be dominant & nice, (and no, dominant is not = poophole).

 

[Iceberg]

Hello all, I am new here and looking for advice.

I have been texting with this woman now for about a week and a half. We went out on Thursday night with the kids (she has 2, I have 1). We got to talk a decent amount and we hugged at the end as she said "it was nice to meet you".

In addition to what everyone else said, this really stood out to me...

Why bring your kids out on a first date? I'm not a parent. So obviously, I wouldn't dream of telling you how to raise a family. But just as a principle, your dating life and your family life should be extremely, extremely separate. If I were a single parent in the dating world, I couldnt imagine myself introducing my date to my kids until we're months into the relationship. I wouldn't want my kids seeing the revolving door of women coming in and out of my life. That can't be normal. Not to mention, it really takes away any romance of a first date.

So my advice is, use the first couple dates to evaluate whether or not this is a person you can have fun with. Don't get all crazy with texting/calling everyday, etc. Don't get her involved with your family or friends. This isn't your wife. It's a woman who's practically a stranger.

 

[whtbullitt]

She said "Could you come over and do me now" and you replied with sometihng useless one hour later, so at that time she most likely finished masturbating already and was sleeping

Well she knew there was no way we could hookup at that time, we both had kids sleeping.

To Iceberg concerning the kids, we both have a hard time getting sitters and we went on a not serious "date", we took them to a kids indoor park, so the kids went and played and we got to talk a little. Normally I agree with you 100% but I didn't let my daughter think it was a date, we were just meeting a friend.

Overall my best choice then is to just delete her number and remove her from facebook? Or wait a few more days and try once more? And if that is a decent option what should I text or call and say?