Next a Woman Who Waits Days to Confirm a Date?

[Ratiocinative]

Had a 3rd date Sunday evening. Went well. At the end while we were making out she got on top of me and said she wasn't going to let me leave until we scheduled another date. She said she was going out of town and wanted to see me before she left and didn't wait to wait for me to call.

We scheduled a date for Friday at 6, but I didn't have any plans for the date yet so I told he I'd plan some fun and text her where to meet up. I texted her the next night, Monday, and let her know where to meet up. No response until this morning, Thursday.

She did cancel plans on the last date. The excuse was pretty lame but she was very apologetic and offered a reschedule any other day and we did go out obviously.

Her saying she can go out any night and saying she wants to see me before she leaves indicates high interest, but waiting 2 1/2 days to say "sounds good see you there" seems like really really low interest. Probably holding out to potentially schedule something else?

Is this common behavior for early dating or should this be a red flag? I'm leaning towards telling her I already made other plans and she should call me when she gets back in town.

 

[Poon King]

Good job letting her dictate all the terms. Lots of pandering going on here.

No one respects people who pander. She knows she is calling all the shots and so she doesn't respect you since you don't provide any challenge or leadership.

If a woman told me "She wasn't going to let me leave until we scheduled another date" I would of just laughed and said "Slow down babe" or something similar.

Women must EARN your time, attention and affection. They cannot demand it from you. When they demand it and you give it to them.. you look weak.

 

[Ratiocinative]

Good job letting her dictate all the terms. Lots of pandering going on here.

No one respects people who pander. She knows she is calling all the shots and so she doesn't respect you since you don't provide any challenge or leadership.

If a woman told me "She wasn't going to let me leave until we scheduled another date" I would of just laughed and said "Slow down babe" or something similar.

Women must EARN your time, attention and affection. They cannot demand it from you. When they demand it and you give it to them.. you look weak.

She was being playful. Obviously she can't make me schedule a date. She knew if she waited for me to call she'd probably not get to see me before she left, so she made it known she wants to see me. It's not like I told her she can see me any day she wants. I asked her when she was free, she gave a few days, and I picked the one I wanted.

And I did tease her about slowing down, but who doesn't know their schedule? Nobody is so busy they cant go out on a date for one evening with someone they're interested in within the next week or two. Scheduling a date with a woman who says she wants to go out with you is not weakness unless you're telling her you're available any time she wants.

 

[Poon King]

She was being playful. Obviously she can't make me schedule a date. She knew if she waited for me to call she'd probably not get to see me before she left, so she made it known she wants to see me. It's not like I told her she can see me any day she wants. I asked her when she was free, she gave a few days, and I picked the one I wanted.

And I did tease her about slowing down, but who doesn't know their schedule? Nobody is so busy they cant go out on a date for one evening with someone they're interested in within the next week or two. Scheduling a date with a woman who says she wants to go out with you is not weakness unless you're telling her you're available any time she wants.

If you had this situation under control then you wouldn't of created these thread.

Letting a woman dictate the terms of the relationship is weakness. Its not about "scheduling a date" its about allowing HER to set the priorities and the timeline for things. Again.. if you were the boss in this situation she would be the one creating an Internet thread, not you.

 

[Ratiocinative]

If you had this situation under control then you wouldn't of created these thread.

Letting a woman dictate the terms of the relationship is weakness. Its not about "scheduling a date" its about allowing HER to set the priorities and the timeline for things. Again.. if you were the boss in this situation she would be the one creating an Internet thread, not you.

Non-sequitur. Just because I'm not sure about her waiting so long to confirm doesn't mean it has anything to do with weakness. A woman asking you out doesn't mean she's in charge, it means she wants to go out with you, and scheduling a date on a day that fits my schedule is not letting her set the timeline.

 

[pyros]

she has low interest, and she's probably seing other guys.

Sometime in the past I would have kept seing this girl etc, but now I would just drop her because I dont have time to waist.
I just spend my time with women that show medium to high interest.
Yes, I may go out with just two women in a year, but I prefer this to waste my time, money, energy etc entertaining women that are not that interested in me.

 

[AttackFormation]

That girl is a gamer. Girls dont just do "moves" like that, even if they have the same behavior. She knows what shes doing. She calculated that move and is toying with you while she sees other men and knows how to put guys on the hook, or shes crazy, that move just came out, and her mind changed.

 

[oOh Nasty]

Behavior is everything. Girls are phone and social media addicts. Her waiting 3 days to get back to you was a conscious decision (gaming).

If a girl takes that long to message me back, she usually at least gives me a lame excuse like "I didn't see your text until now."

Like others have said, I suspect low interest.

 

[Roober]

So... Tell her your booked and to call after she gets back? No secks on 3rd date? Not sure there is enough interest there.

 

[skinnyguy]

All of this advice is highly theoretical.

You can tell him to spin plates and dictate the terms but let's face it women have WAY more options than we do. Women are going to hold the cards for a very long time. There isn't any shame in following up with this girl. The person who posted that we are letting our ego get in the way is right. A lot of times I will delete a girls number in order to protect my ego and then later realize it wasn't that bad.

 

[sazc]

So... Tell her your booked and to call after she gets back?

That is exactly what I would do. As a female, I suspect low interest on her part. If she is into you she is going to not only make the time, but be eager to lock you down. No one doesnt see a text for 2.5 days and then goes "oh, hey, look, alllll the wayyyyyyyy downnnnnn my text chain....I missed this text"

You tried to confirm on Monday and she didnt respond to you until Thursday. Your first mistake was trying to confirm too darn early. A friday pm date means you text wednesday, mid day at the earliest. If she's into you, she will make the time for friday, even if she has other plans. She took 2.5 days to get back to you - to me she's either playing the game right back at you (and making you sweat) or she was seeing if anything better panned out. Either way, why bother sticking around to see which it is?

My (very late) advice is to reply and tell her "when I didnt hear back from you, I figured you had other plans, so I made some other plans as well. Text me when you get back adn we can make plans" and then NC her until she reaches out"

Dont sit and spin on the idea "but I dont have any plans, isnt going out with her better than doing nothing?" No. You teach people how to treat you. Lesson number one - if you are not timely with me, im not waiting around"

 

[ubercat]

Nothing wrong with seeing her. Chicks r incredibly randomly flakey in the early stages of dating. But u must escalate for sex. this girl can straighten up and fly right down the track but the only way she makes it up the batting order is on her back

 

[sazc]

Nothing wrong with seeing her. Chicks r incredibly randomly flakey in the early stages of dating. But u must escalate for sex. this girl can straighten up and fly right down the track but the only way she makes it up the batting order is on her back

he's right, if you can get her in the sack, maybe she will emotionally attach and be more available for you.

 

[bigneil]

I had a textbook example of how to handle this last week going for my 5th date:

Her: We should watch a movie together
Me: Are you available Tuesday?
Me: (Details on plan)
(No reply)
Me: (Next day) - Ok, nevermind then.
Her: (Huge message about how she couldn't find her phone but would love to see me on Tuesday, with hearts).
(40 messages from her)

 

[MatureDJ]

Yes, I would next her - but I'd tell her to call ME if she happens to be available, but also tell her that I would presume the default that she was not available.

I had a chick do this this to me, and I took it for a few weeks, but then just threw in the towel. Being a wiser man now than I was then, I would not put up with this BS.

 

[RangerMIke]

She is low/medium interest.

Don't be an idiot. Keep approaching/dating other women.

Another one will pop up that will capture your attention more than this one.

If you settle for just this, you deserve what is coming to you - for being lazy.

This. Get busy with other women and if she is really interested she'll put in more effort.

 

[Pandora]

Had a 3rd date Sunday evening. Went well. At the end while we were making out she got on top of me and said she wasn't going to let me leave until we scheduled another date. She said she was going out of town and wanted to see me before she left and didn't wait to wait for me to call.

We scheduled a date for Friday at 6, but I didn't have any plans for the date yet so I told he I'd plan some fun and text her where to meet up. I texted her the next night, Monday, and let her know where to meet up. No response until this morning, Thursday.

She did cancel plans on the last date. The excuse was pretty lame but she was very apologetic and offered a reschedule any other day and we did go out obviously.

Her saying she can go out any night and saying she wants to see me before she leaves indicates high interest, but waiting 2 1/2 days to say "sounds good see you there" seems like really really low interest. Probably holding out to potentially schedule something else?

Is this common behavior for early dating or should this be a red flag? I'm leaning towards telling her I already made other plans and she should call me when she gets back in town.

Hey bro this same thing has been happening to me lately. 10 years ago a girl making out with you meant something. It meant that she was highly interested. In todays dating climate even sex doesnt mean jack sh*t. Unless you have sex twice or more we cant assume interest. Getting physical doesn't preclude them from dissappearing. I still haven't exactly figured out why. Its the ultimate mindfu*k. But the only thing we can do is write her off and keep gaming other chicks.

Its frustrating when you do everything correctly ( this is evidence by getting her to get very physical with you) and she still acts funny. This is prob becuz she has a ton of options. Now you gotta go out there are generate your options.

 

[El Payaso]

I would suggest you prospect other women.

She sounds like a low interest, attention seeking (which woman isn't today) woman.

Taking three days to respond to a text is disrespectful. She could have at least said a believable excuse like her plane crashed and she was stranded on an island.

 

[Ratiocinative]

Thanks for the responses. For anyone curious about what happened we went out and 2 hours in she "felt sick" and left. Probably should have made other plans instead, but chalk it up as a learning experience.

Not too surprised though. She and I had a lot of the same beliefs, life goals, and childhood experiences so we had great conversation, but we just don't have the same interests. I like nice clothes, and I like women who can rock a sexy dress, but she wasn't having it at all. Went for ice cream, she hates it and it makes her sick. Went for a walk around the mall outside to see all their lights and displays, and she complained about the crowds of people. To be fair she had told me she hated malls and crowds of people before, so I don't thinks she was purposefully being difficult, we just had different interests.

I've just had terrible luck this year. Last year almost every woman I went out with loved going and trying on a bunch of sexy dresses, even made out in the dressing room with one. This year most of them have refused to even try on one dress. I think I've been going out with too many tomboy types since I started training MMA and thought I might like more athletic women. I need to go back to dating women who are more feminine.

 

[bigneil]

10 years ago a girl making out with you meant something. It meant that she was highly interested. In todays dating climate even sex doesnt mean jack sh*t. Unless you have sex twice or more we cant assume interest.

Yes, this is totally true. I had one of my purest one night stands with a 19 year old HB8 facebook friend last month, giving her 3 orgasms. I saw her text "I love you" to her boyfriend as we were checking into the hotel. We went right back to our other girlfriend/boyfriend and both of us now regularly "like" the couples photos the other posts. She technically never even replied to my first text (though she had always responded on FB to messages). With the other girl I was seeing at the time (age 20, who she was jealous of, hence she threw herself at me), after we had sex the first few times, she might have sent a heart or something after, but I basically had to go NC for a week each time we had sex, and then she reached out. She told me she HATES when guys send anything mushy. You can't let it phase you.