Ok this isn't mine but I thought it was a good slap in the face. If the original writer of this is out on these boards I'd just like to say that your perspective is very sharp. I won't post where I found this though because I don't know if the writer wants the credit or attention.
Alright here it is...
I've got some tough news.
There is a really good reason why women don't want "nice guys".
Here it is:
The classic "nice guy" is a very lonely man.
I don't mean that he is lonely because women don't respond to him intimately, sexually, and in terms of companionship, altho his self-pity in reaction to that lack of response can certainly certainly add a deep tone of dreariness to everything that is already so undesirable (and rightly so) about him.
I mean the classic "nice guy" is nice to a large degree BECAUSE he is lonely...as much as he might not like to admit it to himself, as much as he prides himself on the thought that exactly the opposite is true about him...he is (to a large degree) nice because he wants something in return...he wants companionship...which is "sweet"...but it's also A LOT....a HELL of a lot to want...(I don't think there is anything more extreme that can be asked of a person than companionship)....
So, therein, is established a hell of a lot of very good reason why no woman in her right-mind wants a classically "nice guy" - and even women who aren't in their right-minds are usually smart enough to steer way clear.
(1)The "nice guy" is trying to "buy" the very most precious thing that a woman is capable of personally giving to another adult....and he's not even being direct about it!!....not at all direct!!!....that's ****ing SHADY (what could be shady-er, really?)....and, so, actually, it's very crude, really very crude....which means the "nice guy" really really isn't a "nice guy"....and the lack of directness in it all is an act of dishonesty and an extreme cowardice. The "nice guy", in that sense (and it's a big sense), isn't nice, he's dishonest, he's a coward......he wants what practically everyone else wants but that's the way he's going about attempting to find it.....he's really not looking good as a person at this point.
(2)By being that way, not only has he already illustrated some pretty ****ty things about his character as a man and as a human being, he is also illustratiing that he has a comprehension of and capacity for intimacy/partnership/communication that couldn't fill a bad 8-page children's book on the topic....in fact, given the basic fact that practically every human being has at least a bit of an untended to child within them and the fact the the above tactics are what he has resorted to as a person in an attempt to get companionship indicates incredibly unhealthy desperation (as well as a severely troubled sense of ethics on a key-level) .....the classically "nice guy" can't help but make it clear to any woman who pays him even a bit of attnetion that what he is actually really looking for is someone to take care of him, his 'untended child', with which he has identified himself with in his feelings and his approach to women....he may not see it, may not want to see it, may think of himself as every opposite to it, but, the classically "nice guy" doesn't want to give...he wants to give to get...which isn't giving...his inspiration is his own loneliness....and what he wants in return for what he gives and promises he can and will give can't be given to him...he's "impossible" and not capable of actual intimacy.
(3)The classically "nice guy" invests so much of the totality of all that he is and has in that thinking, those tactics, that desperation, that undercover-self-centeredness, that effort of his to con, to bribe, and all the self-pity that is his response to women being too bright and socially/emotionally-intelligent to fall for his monstrous trip, that he's usually quite the wreck of a fellow really; all of his lying to himself and hiding from himself about what he's actually about in all of this has made it hard for him to see the wreck he's usually made of himself....but other people (especially women) see it just fine.
(4)The classically "bad guy", the classic "*******", isn't about to pay any attention to any potentially simliar matters in himself,...and he isn't about to let any woman pay attention to it either,...the classically "bad guy"/ "*******" psychologically cuts himself off from such possibilities........and at first, to women younger, naieve, it's a ****ing relief not to have to deal with that **** in a guy....to be around a guy that (at first anyway) doesn't want a mother....and maybe doesn't even want the sad sad dead nonsensical **** that most dumb-ass guys mistake as an insight into what relationship/intimacy is.
I think it's just the contrast that women enjoy sometimes......they go to the classic "*******" to get relief from demand on their maternalness......and then they go to the classic "nice guy" for a little affection.....and what else has the human world of man really had to offer them anyway?.......the classically "nice guy" is as much of an epidemic and threat as the classic "*******".....given the choice of who to spend their physically intimate time with they usually will indeed choose exactly wht the classically "nice guy" calls "an *******".......and why?......because this world is a constant harrowing demanding, violently demanding, cry for the majesty of maternalness that is most indeginously her's alone.....and the "nice guy" is just frustrating voice in it's cruel choir.
The "nice guy" and the "*******" are both ****ed - they are basically simply opposite sides of the same worthless counterfit coin.
What the sane woman (and she is a somewhat rare creature) wants if she wants companionship isn't even in the same universe that the "nice guy" and the "*******" occupy.
Alright here it is...
I've got some tough news.
There is a really good reason why women don't want "nice guys".
Here it is:
The classic "nice guy" is a very lonely man.
I don't mean that he is lonely because women don't respond to him intimately, sexually, and in terms of companionship, altho his self-pity in reaction to that lack of response can certainly certainly add a deep tone of dreariness to everything that is already so undesirable (and rightly so) about him.
I mean the classic "nice guy" is nice to a large degree BECAUSE he is lonely...as much as he might not like to admit it to himself, as much as he prides himself on the thought that exactly the opposite is true about him...he is (to a large degree) nice because he wants something in return...he wants companionship...which is "sweet"...but it's also A LOT....a HELL of a lot to want...(I don't think there is anything more extreme that can be asked of a person than companionship)....
So, therein, is established a hell of a lot of very good reason why no woman in her right-mind wants a classically "nice guy" - and even women who aren't in their right-minds are usually smart enough to steer way clear.
(1)The "nice guy" is trying to "buy" the very most precious thing that a woman is capable of personally giving to another adult....and he's not even being direct about it!!....not at all direct!!!....that's ****ing SHADY (what could be shady-er, really?)....and, so, actually, it's very crude, really very crude....which means the "nice guy" really really isn't a "nice guy"....and the lack of directness in it all is an act of dishonesty and an extreme cowardice. The "nice guy", in that sense (and it's a big sense), isn't nice, he's dishonest, he's a coward......he wants what practically everyone else wants but that's the way he's going about attempting to find it.....he's really not looking good as a person at this point.
(2)By being that way, not only has he already illustrated some pretty ****ty things about his character as a man and as a human being, he is also illustratiing that he has a comprehension of and capacity for intimacy/partnership/communication that couldn't fill a bad 8-page children's book on the topic....in fact, given the basic fact that practically every human being has at least a bit of an untended to child within them and the fact the the above tactics are what he has resorted to as a person in an attempt to get companionship indicates incredibly unhealthy desperation (as well as a severely troubled sense of ethics on a key-level) .....the classically "nice guy" can't help but make it clear to any woman who pays him even a bit of attnetion that what he is actually really looking for is someone to take care of him, his 'untended child', with which he has identified himself with in his feelings and his approach to women....he may not see it, may not want to see it, may think of himself as every opposite to it, but, the classically "nice guy" doesn't want to give...he wants to give to get...which isn't giving...his inspiration is his own loneliness....and what he wants in return for what he gives and promises he can and will give can't be given to him...he's "impossible" and not capable of actual intimacy.
(3)The classically "nice guy" invests so much of the totality of all that he is and has in that thinking, those tactics, that desperation, that undercover-self-centeredness, that effort of his to con, to bribe, and all the self-pity that is his response to women being too bright and socially/emotionally-intelligent to fall for his monstrous trip, that he's usually quite the wreck of a fellow really; all of his lying to himself and hiding from himself about what he's actually about in all of this has made it hard for him to see the wreck he's usually made of himself....but other people (especially women) see it just fine.
(4)The classically "bad guy", the classic "*******", isn't about to pay any attention to any potentially simliar matters in himself,...and he isn't about to let any woman pay attention to it either,...the classically "bad guy"/ "*******" psychologically cuts himself off from such possibilities........and at first, to women younger, naieve, it's a ****ing relief not to have to deal with that **** in a guy....to be around a guy that (at first anyway) doesn't want a mother....and maybe doesn't even want the sad sad dead nonsensical **** that most dumb-ass guys mistake as an insight into what relationship/intimacy is.
I think it's just the contrast that women enjoy sometimes......they go to the classic "*******" to get relief from demand on their maternalness......and then they go to the classic "nice guy" for a little affection.....and what else has the human world of man really had to offer them anyway?.......the classically "nice guy" is as much of an epidemic and threat as the classic "*******".....given the choice of who to spend their physically intimate time with they usually will indeed choose exactly wht the classically "nice guy" calls "an *******".......and why?......because this world is a constant harrowing demanding, violently demanding, cry for the majesty of maternalness that is most indeginously her's alone.....and the "nice guy" is just frustrating voice in it's cruel choir.
The "nice guy" and the "*******" are both ****ed - they are basically simply opposite sides of the same worthless counterfit coin.
What the sane woman (and she is a somewhat rare creature) wants if she wants companionship isn't even in the same universe that the "nice guy" and the "*******" occupy.
