Newbie here would appreciate advice

[moneyisking]

(shakes my hand). OP bro you remind of pretty much everyone here who used to do the same sh!t. Look, when a guy is new to game and doesn't know anything, it's very very easy for him to think irrationally, even though to others it's clear he's gona fvck up; for example, just the fact that you came to us and asked about when to call, what to do, etc in the original thread tells us that you're very needy and approaching this from wrong stand point (don't be discouraged, we were all like this). me for instance, have carried a huge object for a girl for over a mile, and that is extremely beta and retarded thing to do as an alpha male, but i rationalized it by saying "i am being nice and sweet to her, what girl doesn't like that?" and of course she lost her interest in me after that.

look man, you should have become a challenge to her. honestly just like everyone said, never verbalize desires b/c sex is woman's trump card, and you're giving into that. you need to go to youtube and watch some clips of kilafornication and how hank deals with women. when she said "i am not that easy, you have to work for it", she is already sh!t-testing you saying "i am higher value than you, ya that's what i said". you know what i would say to that? "HAHA! good we have something in common, cuz i am not that easy either" or "i pass, i have lots of things i am working on, i don't want to add extra work" or "oh i understand you want me to work harder for you, but i got too much things to do. why are you trying to stress me with so much work, i thought we were buddies?" Ok? if you responded in this manner, you would have passed the test, but looks like you didn't. Make it fun, but make it challenging to her or something that makes her qualify herself to YOU, and the result will be glorious.

Look man, we all fvcked up before. when you're new to game, your mind just rationalizes no-game action into player-action, just like it did when i carried those luggage for a girl for a mile and made fool of myself in front of all my friends. it's natural, but now that you are here, learn slowly and apply in life SLOWLY. drop the notion that you'll win bytches left and right fast. so ya simply be the challenge and you make statements that qualify her.

 

[flashpoint]

"Kclosed again with deep kissing,got some LMR but not a big deal" - wtf does that even mean? you tried to kiss her and she didnt want to? well, some chicks have second thoughts just before focking because all kind of sh!t goes on in their head, but kissin? after you already have kissed her? did it cross your mind that something might not be right when she was resisting your advances?

from the looks of it, the date blew and her interest level sunk close to zero. she is certainly not shy and timid so we can rule that out as a reason for her not to react. then there is not much left. her granny might have died all of a sudden. who knows.

anyways the text is not the problem. at least it wouldnt be if she was into you. now you wait for that party, act all cool and like you couldnt be bothered any less and see what happens. and forget about that message yourself, that is the best thing you can make in order to make it disappear from the board. most importantly make sure you ll have fun with other girls.

 

[Lostsoul85]

@Flashpoint
No, i never got a rejection from the kiss it was just a im not ready to **** type of deal.Even after she said she won't go back to the room she still continued to kiss me heavy until she left.She was even smiling when i said this too be continued.She has another woman she is seeing,so my take on it is that she is processing what happened.Anyways what i think attracted her to me was that i didnt show too much interest when she started texting me a couple weeks ago.Sometimes i wouldnt reply for 2 days.I should have kept doing that.I have a bday party coming up in a couple weeks and unless she returns my call i should not even invite her.Wouldnt that be a form of supplication,since you are rewarding her for bad behavior?

 

[Greasy Pig]

She has another woman she is seeing,so my take on it is that she is processing what happened.

WTF????? Hang on, OP. Are you saying she's a lesbian and you're trying to fvck her?

This is unbelievable.

She might be bi but if she's licking some girl's pvssy, your chances of getting your dyck wet are about as close to zero as you can get.

She's not interested in you because of some stupid text, she just not interested in dyck!! Why can you not see that?

 

[Lostsoul85]

No she is not a lesbian she is Bi

 

[Purefilth]

bi girl - seeing a girl = lesbian as far as youre concerned.
she kissed you and went for some girl-on-girl action.

IDEA: forget this one, chalk her up as a mistake, part of the learning curve.

We've all fvcked up at many points, and you wont learn unless you do.
So, this was a successful lesson in girl losing interest. Next her already, this girl being bi has more than doubled your competition. Keep trying and you'll fail horribly.

multiple new girls - GO!

 

[Lostsoul85]

So for future reference all i had to do was a "Just to let you know, i won't be sleeping with you on the first date(with a grin)" and set the frame that way?

 

[Harry Wilmington]

(Oh good lord) STOP WORRYING ABOUT SETTING UP THE FRAME!!

I'm sorry, but I hear this phrase said on this site so many times, and it's annoying to some extent due to overuse. There's no need to drag out the "I won't be sleeping with you" line on a first date. All you have to do is (a) be confident, (b) not do things that make you look like a p*ssy, and (c) don't look like you're desperate for sex.

How can you do that? Simple:

1. Don't try to touch her. Aside from a meet-and-greet hug, do everything you can NOT to initiate kino. Her brain will wonder why you're not touching her like 99% of her dates, and it will make HER want to touch YOU. Once she starts doing that, it's very easy to get to the point where she's wanting it from you so bad that you'll be able to score with her.

2. Don't bring up anything sexual. Again, you want to be able to read if she's DTF, and the only way you'll know is if SHE brings it up first. And trust me - a girl that's DTF will make a joke, a sexual comment, or say something in that realm (if they didn't want to do it with you they wouldn't make those types of comments).

Aside from that, just go on the date, have fun, and don't concentrate so hard on getting sex. I usually score with most women by the second date simply because I'm not pressed for it, which makes them want to give it up more!

 

[Lostsoul85]

Update

alright guys its been about 10 days and i have been radio silent(as i was advised)/ Prior to that after that stupid text, i only tried to call once.She hasn't called me either.Me and one other female coworker have a bday party coming up later this week.Is it ok to send her a text inviting her?



I found out some info
1)She posted on her blog that the girl she is dating cheated on her(few days ago).This was not too long after we last hung out.Wonder if thats why she went silent
2)She also mentioned on her blog that she had a crush on me(this was a couple weeks ago,before we hung out)

 

[DonJuanabe]

Do not contact her. What do you think she would do if she was interested in you? 3... 2... 1... yes she would text you. She does not have FEELINGS for you, she has them for her GF who cheated on her. If you contact her you will only push her away even more. She knows you are interested in her, you don't need to do anything for her to know that. The only chance you have with her is if she initiates contact with you and I'm not saying get your hopes up, it is very unlikely.

 

[Lostsoul85]

Tommorow is my bday party..i just have the urge to send her a text to invite her..we met at her bday party 3 weeks ago,so i dont know if she will replicate and come to mine..its also a female coworkers bday too and we are celebrating together..i was thinking of using her as social proof and texting her "nalee and i are having a bday party tommorow..you should come after your shift if you'd like"

 

[flashpoint]

Tommorow is my bday party..i just have the urge to send her a text to invite her..we met at her bday party 3 weeks ago,so i dont know if she will replicate and come to mine..its also a female coworkers bday too and we are celebrating together..i was thinking of using her as social proof and texting her "nalee and i are having a bday party tommorow..you should come after your shift if you'd like"

i'd do something more direct like:

Birthday party tomorrow. last chance to hook up with me while i am still young. COME. it will be fun.

anyways your text doesn't sound too inviting. and you got to tell chicks what to do. i'd suggest to change the text accordingly.

 

[Lostsoul85]

UPDATE
I think my plan of not contacted her for almost 12 days worked out ok

I sent her a text inviting her to my bday party tonight.

HB:Can't make im off work at 3AM(this is true..i was testing her to see if she would call off)

LS:Well your gonna have to make it up to me

HB:LOL

LS: I enjoy being spoiled especially on my day..so i will be waiting

HB: LOL

LS: So..when are you taking me out?

HB: LOL..when my girl says i can

HB:BTW sorry i haven't responded been busy and just paid to turn my phone back on

HB: I'll set you after(implying she will set me up for something after my bday)

LS:K

Tried to end the convo then went to my outbox to delete my msgs and i accidently hit send on one of the msgs i already sent.

LS:So when are you taking me out? (accidently sent that msg twice)

LS:Ignore that last msg..i sent it twice

What do you guys think am i still in the game?

 

[Lostsoul85]

anyone?

 

[Harry Wilmington]

LS: So..when are you taking me out?

HB: LOL..when my girl says i can

Translation: "I'm still more interested in this other person - this GIRL - who I'm claiming by my use of the world 'my', than going out with you. I made out with you that one time because my girl made me upset and I wanted to get back at her, but realize I still have feelings for her. Sorry to lead you on, but I don't want to see you. I hope my passive-aggressive ways of not responding to you and/or making up reasons I can't see you will give you the hint that I'm not interested, 'cause best believe if it was my girlfriend's birthday I would have easily found someone to take my work shift for me to make her feel special. However, I'm choosing not to get off work for YOUR birthday because I don't want to make you feel special. LoL."

U sure you're not a troll? 'Cause this ish seems pretty obvious.

 

[Lostsoul85]

Translation: "I'm still more interested in this other person - this GIRL - who I'm claiming by my use of the world 'my', than going out with you. I made out with you that one time because my girl made me upset and I wanted to get back at her, but realize I still have feelings for her. Sorry to lead you on, but I don't want to see you. I hope my passive-aggressive ways of not responding to you and/or making up reasons I can't see you will give you the hint that I'm not interested, 'cause best believe if it was my girlfriend's birthday I would have easily found someone to take my work shift for me to make her feel special. However, I'm choosing not to get off work for YOUR birthday because I don't want to make you feel special. LoL."

U sure you're not a troll? 'Cause this ish seems pretty obvious.

No im not a troll man..just looking for some feedback. I am well aware she is interested in the other girl,i am just playing dumb with her.Anyways she texted me back.I tried to use a little C/F
ME:I use to stay with a filipino family and i had the best adobo chicken(she's half filipino)..I bet your a good cook
Hb:Lol..Hell yeah..I am an awesome cook..lol
ME:Awesome..i will let you cook for me
HB:lol..ok how is your birthday going?

I havent replied back..my bday party was actually canceled cuz the other girl who was hosting it couldn't make it..I know need to play this one cool cuz she has a gf.

 

[flashpoint]

you are wasting your time. but guess you know that already, just wont admit it.

 

[Lostsoul85]

She said she will set me up after my bday and also cook for me..how am i wasting my time?

 

[Greasy Pig]

This is one of the most painful threads I've ever read on here.

Sorry OP, you're swimming in Sh!t Creek, against the current with your mouth open.

Harry Wilmington is spot on. She doesn't want to hurt your feelings and is throwing a hell of a lot of "I don't want to fvck you" messages.

Everyone else can see it except you.
Remember, judge a woman by her actions, NEVER her words. Have a think about all the crap she's said to you and then compare that to how she's acted.
She SAYS she will cook for you after your birthday but I would be extremely surprised if she doesn't flake or if she does cook for you, she'll bring her girlfriend.
And I also wouldn't be surprised if she's lying nude in bed with her girlfriend and both of them are looking at your texts and laughing at your pathetic attempts.
You need some tough love OP. You're being led down the garden path to a big flashing sign that says "Friend Zone", yet you still willingly walk towards it thinking it's a mirage.
Furthermore, you are receiving advice from some very knowledgeable and learned people here, yet you're ignoring it and insisting that they're all wrong.
Most people will cut newbies some slack but after a while, your pathetic attempts at justifying yourself and questioning the advice just p!sses people off.

Let's break it down so you understand:
1. You had a brief makeout session with a chick
2. Chick is a lesbian (maybe "bi" but right now, she's a fvcking lesbian)
3. She continually rebuffs your advances
4. You choose not to see the very obvious signs of no-interest and continue to pursue her
5. You come here asking for advice and then ignore the advice of others who are trying to help you - repeatedly.

Get a grip, man. The more you chase this chick, the more of a loser you will be perceived as.
If you truly want to prove your worth, don't speak to this chick again. I can assure you, she is p1ssing herself laughing at you.
She doesn't see you as a sexual option, she sees you as a whimpering little puppy dog.
I know you're probably really p!ssed off right now as you read this, but if I'm speaking sh!t, she would be smoking your pole right now or even offering a threesome with her girlfriend.
Get a grip on the reality, eject this bytch from your life and stick around these boards so you learn something instead of taking a dump on decades of experience from posters here.
We've all been in your situation and we've all gone through the denial that you're going through.
You need to swallow hard, accept that you were wrong and promise yourself that from now on you'll be more open to the opinions here.
That's a true test of character.