Newbie here would appreciate advice

[Lostsoul85]

I Went to this girls bday party last week Kclosed.Went out on a date with her Kclosed again with deep kissing,got some LMR but not a big deal.This was thursday night and i have not phone her since however last night i wanted to call her but i didn't want to come across as needy or desperate,so i let her know exactly what was on my mind.So i sent her a text saying "I was tempted to give it 3 days(implying not contacting her since thurs night) to prove i was non needy,but i couldn't resist=)". We made out in our last encounter thursday night before that text was sent(yesterday) even after she said wouldnt give it up that easy but she was into me.With that being said, i realize that msg was not necessary..do you guys think i can recover?If so go no contact or call her up..She is in the same social network with my coworkers so i was thinking to not contact her until i see her at a party again,at the same time i want to fark her.I have not called her or spoken to her since out last encounter.Never been with a HB 9.I have been sitting in my room tempted to call her,but dont know if it is right since i sent that corny message

 

[alxrose04]

Text messages are dangerous. Once you hit send, you can never get them back. lol. But from what I can see, that message was a little corny but still cute. How did she respond? If she responded negatively then move on and dont draw attention to it. Wait a day and then contact her (text or call depending on how comfortable you two are).

If she hasn't responded, then wait and give it time. Giving it time and not giving her follow up attention will give the impression that you took time from your busy day to say something but now you gotta get back to it, hence the reason why you haven't followed up past that.

If she responded positively then you're in the clear!

 

[Pimp-sicle]

Sounds like your new not only to this site, but to game in general.

A lot of guys come here and read "rules" and then become robotic in following them to a T.

The first thing you have to realize is that these "rules" were established to help TRANSFORM the clueless noob, into a confident man that women crave.

When your truly confident you don't need rules. Why? Because when your with her the woman will flat out know that you are in demand by other women. She will see the way her little tactics that are intended to test and get a rise out of you don't work etc.

With that in mind, call whenever you want to.... if you really hit it off with her, sometimes its a good idea to hold off on calling her too soon so you give her the gift of missing you. This will make her eager to see you again and accept your date offer and cancel other plans she might have made.

Aside from confidence, a sub-branch in game once you are starting off with a new woman is controlling the frame.

Meaning she should be the one sitting at home wondering when your going to call or even be the one to contact you first.

I'm not going to lie to you, that text message sucked....haha I mean you flat out put her above you and basically kissed her feet. It might be cute for now, but she will lose attraction for you if she decides that is who you truly are as a person.

The whole idea behind waiting X amount of days to call is an incomplete theory that most newbies don't fully understand.

First you have to establish and escalate attraction to the point where you KNOW she is dying to see you again, only then will these little tactics work to their maximum effect.

Its good that you realize your error. It also sounds like she didn't reply to your text yet, which would be the best case scenario.

Simply wait a couple days, call her up and small talk for a few minutes. If she sounds excited to hear from you and happy, then set up a date. When asking for the date, give her at least 24 hours notice and a couple of options in terms of days that work for you. Also have a place and time picked out, so you you don't get caught in the proverbial (what do you wanna do? I don't care what do you wanna do crap.)






PIMP

 

[Lostsoul85]

She hasn't replied to that last text and i havent spoken to her since that night.So should i hold on calling her or texting her tonight?(even telling her that i had a great time thurs night,which i forgot to tell her so she doesnt feel like a slut)."I was thinking of sending texting her this tonight "I just drove by where we kissed the other night in order to get some kind of reply from her.

 

[Pimp-sicle]

She hasn't replied to that last text and i havent spoken to her since that night.So should i hold on calling her or texting her tonight?(even telling her that i had a great time thurs night,which i forgot to tell her so she doesnt feel like a slut)."I was thinking of sending texting her this tonight "I just drove by where we kissed the other night in order to get some kind of reply from her.

Wow.... dude you went on 1 date, 1 date! This isn't a girl you've been dating for a year.

If you send her that text then you will CONFIRM that your previous chump text is indeed who you really are.... a weak, insecure dude.

If she's super hot, then she's going to lose attraction for you quick because you will be just like the typical guy who is all over her and thinking she's so great all because of her looks.

You need to understand what setting the frame means. Instead of you CHASING her, you should be qualifying her and making her feel unsure of whether you like her or not.

People want what they think they can't have.

So far all you have shown her is that your a one trick pony and that is predictable. And predictable doesn't get the girl.






PIMP

 

[DonJuanabe]

Why would she feel like a slut - because she kissed you? Dude, if she knew you thought that all she would see the next time she lays eyes on you is... p*ssy.

You have been absorbed into her frame; you need to get out and stay out. Go NC for a few days then ask her out. Well, don't really ask, tell. Tell her you thought XYZ would be really fun and you'd like her to join you.

 

[Lostsoul85]

I did ask her to my room after Heavy kissing that night but she said i am not that easy and that you are gonna have to work for it which means a cpl more dates..i pressed a little then stopped so i wouldnt beg..then she had to go..nonethless I didnt call her later that night to make her feel like a woman by saying thanks for coming out here i had a good time with you instead i just left it as it was although i told her that i was ready to **** her..I was gonna call her today(first time since thurs)but i feel like that stupid text i sent her will cause her to not pick up the phone.At the same time i feel like i need to show her that i care for her so she doesnt feel slutty..

Heres the funny thing guys.I met her through my coworkers*they gave her my phone number) and according to her they told her that i like her and that she should start texting me..So for the last week she has been texting me like crazy(even when i dont respond for 24 hours) but all of a sudden stopped late last week....but it feels like she stalled a little bit almost like she is trying to play with my emotions and try to cut off what she threw at me to get me to chase her.I feel like i have been brain teased and want to get the power back.

 

[DonJuanabe]

Or more like you were too needy.

Let me make this clear: the thought of "call her later that night to make her feel like a woman by saying thanks for coming out here i had a good time with you" should never cross your mind. NEVER.

Let me make this clear: "I told her that i was ready to **** her" should never have been said whatsoever. Do not verbalize how you feel or what you want to do; just do. She already knows you want to bang her but verbalizing it makes you look weak. Girls talk. Men act.

The fact that she didn't have sex with you on your first date is not a big deal at all. You messed around and she didn't let it escalate to sex. That's just part of the game of dating. You work your way up over the course of a few dates. Play along and don't get so serious about it. When you start verbalizing things it starts to feel serious, that's why you keep your mouth shut, have fun, try to escalate, and play cool. It's a back and forth process where your primary goal is to make her *hope you really like her* but think *you might like someone else more*. If that happens her interest in you will be sky high; most men are rarely able to pull this off.

 

[Lostsoul85]

So the only way to do this is to dissappear for awhile..be mysterious and not call her for a week..let her wonder why i stopped chasing..I know a night club where she works at where her supervisor is my coworker and friend and will let me in for free anytime..Maybe i can temporary dissapear and cut contact and next friday show up at the club she works at and suprise her..Give her a hug,tell her im here with some friends..and bounce..then call her the next day to reiniatet the attraction we had last week..what do you guys think of this tactic?

 

[Lostsoul85]

You guys my friends are telling me that because of that message i basically told her i am not needy, but my actions were. I also revealed to her that i was playing games and calculating in order to look good.Basically seeking her approval and trying to appear different. Do you guys look at it the same and is this situation recoverable?Im really depressed right now.I got that line from someone who advocated Zan perrions method but took it out of context.Stupid me.It would be a shame if that line hurt my chances to sleep with one of the finest girls i seen.


"I was tempted to give it 3 days to prove i was non needy,but i couldn't resist=)"

 

[Greasy Pig]

Don't be surprised if that text was a deal breaker. You have to be more subtle.
Build attraction by displaying your high worth. That means being in control of your emotions, dressing well, being funny and ****y, limiting your non-date-set-up contact and being mysterious.
That text completely ruined any mystery you might've had and basically told her you really like her.
In future you're better off implying interest in her than just blurting it out. When you're with her, make her laugh and show her a good time. Fvcking women is the by-product of being able to build up their interest and desire to fever pitch.
You don't do that by telling her what you think of her or what you're feeling, you do it with your actions. And even then you still have to play it cool.

In saying that, if she drops you over one small mistake (ie sending that text), she was never really that into you anyway.

I'd maintain radio silence until Thursday, then tell her you're heading out with some friends on Friday and she should stop by after her shift.
I'd advise against rocking up to her workplace. She'll see straight through it.

 

[Kbomb]

you need to be talking to and be involved with more than just one girl. this is always the answer. When you get stuck in terms of dealing with one girl, the answer is always to spin more plates.

 

[Atom Smasher]

I haven't read all the responses so this might have already been said. I'll say it in my own way.

Never, ever verbalize the machinations of game/seduction. As soon as you call attention to the nuts and bolts, she's gone, even if you do this is a joking manner. You're use of the phrase "non-needy" immediately tipped her off that you are needy. But that's all part of the learning process and at least you're in the game taking care of business.

You should have simply called her. Sometimes we take this "game" thing to an extreme. If you want to call a girl, call her, BUT...

[Some general observations]
Always have a plan in mind. A man should never call a woman just to chit-chat. Do you know why? Because you become her instant girlfriend. She doesn't need you to fulfill that chit-chat function. She needs you to be a man. A man calls with a purpose in mind (I'm going to "xyz" this weekend. Why don't you come with me?"). Do your chit-chatting in-person. That chit-chatting should be designed so that she will talk herself into being attracted to you when she is away from you. That is when deeper attraction occurs... when she is alone and thinking about her experiences with you.

Back to the subject at hand, OP, you need some time to cool down with your attraction for her. She's so much on your mind (sitting in your room tempted to call her) that you will sound weird and creepy because you will be self-conscious. Let some time pass and hit her up in person when you next see her. In the meantime, get out there and chat up other women to avoid a perception of lack.

My post sounds a bit patronizing, but I'm just dashing this off quick as I'm running out the door. I just wanted to throw my ideas on the table. Eat the meat and spit out the bones.

 

[Lostsoul85]

Guys how long would it take for her to forget about that stupid text i sent 1-2 weeks?

 

[Fly By Night]

Guys how long would it take for her to forget about that stupid text i sent 1-2 weeks?

Lol!

How long will it take for you to forget about what happened on the first date?

Exactly.

 

[Lostsoul85]

Update
I was hoping that maybe she didnt read that text. i called her once today to see if she was waiting for me to call and no answer as i expected..So i dont know if that text by saying i was resisting the temptation to be non needy by calling her so early, actually interpreted in her mind to be needy,was the cause.I have a birthday party with a female coworker coming up on Oct 8.It will be my birthday.She knows the female coworker,so maybe by then her mind will forget it and those two weeks of NC will give her time to forget about that text so i can invite her..does this sound like a good plan guys?

 

[BeDJ]

She is NOT interested, accept and learn from it. We can't take anymore of this pathetic behavior....Please =(

 

[alxrose04]

Ehh, I'm an optimistic type of guy. I would not contact anymore until you're birthday draws near. I would send her a very short and quick text message saying "Hey, my birthday's coming up soon. Inviting (her two friends). You should come, if you want" And leave it at that. IF she doesn't show up then it's not looking too good.

 

[NewAndImproved]

double post

 

[NewAndImproved]

I was tempted to give it 3 days(implying not contacting her since thurs night) to prove i was non needy,but i couldn't resist=)".

You gave away the game.

... so it's probably game over.

The deeper I get into this, I realize that it's not black and white like I first thought. Women -- while more perceptive and socially savvy than guys-- can't pick up everything. They're NOT all knowing or all judging. But there are certain things you just can't come back from.

Just this weekend I was incongruent with an HB. In a terrible mood to begin after a terrible week. Opened a few sets, talked to the boys and eventually I was back. Went back to the HB. Kino. Dancing. Had her rolling. Thought I had her but I didn't. My first impression came back to haunt me.

There are certain things you just can't come back from.

Live and learn.