Newbie here needs some advice on how to find and date girls. (never dated before)

[nguyen]

*sign*...girls in Toronto just plain suck! Its place full of devil's incarnation BLAH

This is my first post! Nice to to meet everyone here.

well.. basic stats of me:

- chinese
- lives in toronto
- 20 years old asian
- 3rd year university
- 6 ft tall
- i guess i look decent haha

The problem is, i've never had a gf or dated before and never had any close female friends. Well i guess if you immigrate to 4 different countries in the past 10 years its kinda hard to find close friends.

For the past 4 years, i've worked in various hi-tech companies like AMD and nVidia so i am surrounded by older people (23+ plus)..most of the ladies at work are gf/wife material! Unfortunately they are all taken or married, if not i'll definetely ask them out lol..

Well, now in school, there aren't that many attractive chinese ladies left at my age. The same old saying, "the good ones are all taken." Well, during my first year, i mixed around with a few girls but in the end they all turned out to be gold-diggers or just taking advantage of me. So at the first sign of trouble, i didn't buy into that and shut them off completely. I tried networking through my friends to know more potential girls but they are also either taken or I am not very interested..
I am not anti-social or anything, or else i wouldn't have survived in those companies.

Well, i took a quick glance at the DJ bible and it instructed the guy not to sound desparate, don't shower the girls with gift/money etc and be confident.

The main problem facing me now is approaching girls. Right now I am taking summer school and there are many new faces in the class, I just can’t conceive the thought of going up to a total stranger and say “Hi..are you single blah blah” Won’t that spook her out or something?

Oh well, I guess that’s my biggest problem, trying to get to know new girls and expanding my female social circle…so can someone please give me some tips and advice?

 

[Qualtran]

i took a quick glance at the DJ bible

"quick" is not going to cut it. Thoroughly read and re-read the bible; it covers your question in great detail.

 

[Faded Image]

Welcome! Glad you can join us. I'm more of a reader type here so if you take any advice make sure it's quality and not just the number of post the guys have.

WARNING! By reading the bible it's possible you might go through the azzhole phase that i'm pretty sure a lot of people here have gone through. Once you get to pass that point, you'll be ready to start learning so get your pen and pad together and get to work in that bible.

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

Originally posted by nguyen
Well, during my first year, i mixed around with a few girls but in the end they all turned out to be gold-diggers or just taking advantage of me. So at the first sign of trouble, i didn't buy into that and shut them off completely.

Welcome to Toronto! Get used to this lol. You're going to see A LOT more of this.

How long have you been here? I've lived here 17 years. It seems like you're looking for another asian/chinese to date. Let me clue you in on a little secret here in the GTA.

You may have heard bad things about western women, but the "westernized" asian women here are WORSE. Much, much worse. It is like these westernized asian women took the worst traits from both cultures and molded them into one ungodly mess in the disguise of a beautiful woman! Beware!

Take this from someone who has had to deal with asian girls from high school to university (7 years). I'm not basing this on one "bad apple". I'm basing this on SEVERAL bad apples, let alone stories from friends.

I got my game on, but the problem is no woman I meet here is worthy of my game! It is just that difficult to find gf/LTR material here in the GTA. I don't mean to dampen your spirit, but this is the harsh reality of Toronto and you must know this or else keep getting nasty surprises as you move along. The good looking ones are usually hors, gold diggers/try to take advantage of you, or just mentally unstable! Don't be fooled by their beauty. They are the devil incarnate. The bad looking ones are not much better, but at least they don't have a lure.

Definetely read the bible. Get into the head of what a real WOMAN wants. They want a man with masculine traits. If you hear a girl utter some BS about being "sensitive", just ignore it.

Act like a man and get a woman.
Act like a woman and get a hor.

Your choice.

 

[MrS]

woah, woah, you've been working at amd/nvidia since you're 16?
I'm your greatest fan, mate.
Basically, read up on the DJ Bible, especially about confidence and how to behave, pretty improtant if you haven't done this before.
Gl

 

[nguyen]

i'll take a closer look at the bible. I dont think i am a AFC..i am just frustrated that there are very few good girls at my age...

i can't agree more with TillTheEndOfTime with regards to TO asian girls lol...some of them are worse than vampires!

 

[mrmoe]

Hola...

I'm a fellow Asian Torontonian. I think that last poster hit the nail right on the head with Asian girls in Toronto. Beware and choose carefully. Just a question though...are you opposed to dating outside your race? Maybe you should expand and get comfortable with women of all colours. There are so many different types of girls in our city, it's a shame if you have to keep to one specific type. As for your orginal question... it's not too difficult to spark up a conversation with girls especially in a classroom setting. Usually discussing the class or lecture works wonders as an ice breaker. Don't get intimidated either. Treat the girl as you would any other person. And don't worry if they're single or not. Should never ask a girl directly like that. Why bother? I always assume girls are single until they tell me otherwise. If they want you to know, they'll let you know.

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

Originally posted by nguyen
i'll take a closer look at the bible. I dont think i am a AFC..i am just frustrated that there are very few good girls at my age...

i can't agree more with TillTheEndOfTime with regards to TO asian girls lol...some of them are worse than vampires!

You also might notice that some asian girls seem to hate asian guys. I think this is because they love the way some white AFCs with asian fever treat them (as goddesses). Not saying all white guys with asian girls are AFCs. Just that I have seen a lot who are. Don't worry about these girls. You are not missing out on much.

What university do you go to? U of T?

 

[mrmoe]

Good point TillTheEnd. Conversely, I think it's true there are also some asian girls are turned off by the passive (AFC if you will) nature of some asian guys. Go figure. I like asian girls, but boy are they ever a headache to deal with.

 

[DJDamage]

I got my game on, but the problem is no woman I meet here is worthy of my game! It is just that difficult to find gf/LTR material here in the GTA. I don't mean to dampen your spirit, but this is the harsh reality of Toronto and you must know this or else keep getting nasty surprises as you move along. The good looking ones are usually hors, gold diggers/try to take advantage of you, or just mentally unstable! Don't be fooled by their beauty. They are the devil incarnate. The bad looking ones are not much better, but at least they don't have a lure.

Sadly agree. Many of Toronto's women are very materialistic princesses who enjoy clubbing, drinking, b1tching cursing and hooking up with guys only to impress their friends. They sort of remind me of the girls in sex of the city.

 

[nguyen]

oh man, what u guys have said can't be more true about toronto's asia girls lol..

THATS why i NEVER EVER EVER bring them to any of my company's social event because they'll probly treat it as a gold-digging/job fair!

i guess it just sux in toronto lol for the selection of girls. Well, the ones i meet in my school at my age have alot of the following attributes:

1) leech $$ from guys
2) try to act nice just to leech you off more

at first i thought i would be nice to have a few ladies as friend but they all turned out to be devil's incarnate, maybe thank god to Pope's blessing i am able to resist the evil and shut them off completely w/o every being an ass-kisser loser.

i wouldn't mind dating girls from other race, i guess the races i would date are chinese/vietnamese/white. But its very hard to find compatible white girls either lol

 

[mrmoe]

While I agree some asian women are very difficult to deal with, you have to remember that it's just some, not all. If you continue to have this negative attitude towards asian (or any) women, you will get no where. You come across as defeated, un-confident, and weak, and that's never a good thing!

How do you mean you're not compatible with white women? You sound like the type who only has asian friends (or the majority are). Expand your social circles and meet new people. Don't use race as the end all/be all factor in determining which girls are dateable or not. EVERY girl is dateable. If they don't happen to like you for the colour of your skin, move on... they weren't really your type anyway. When you start thinking in terms of "oh, that hot blonde/brunette would never date an asian dude" you lost the game without even playing. How is that any fun???

 

[nguyen]

mrmoe - please do not label me as a race - exclusive person who cannot meet any other people outside my race. If i am really described as you did, then I wouldn't have survived in the various I worked at.

Also, you mentioned that

"If you continue to have this negative attitude towards asian (or any) women, you will get no where. You come across as defeated, un-confident, and weak, and that's never a good thing!"

I never said I have that attitude towards ALL WOMAN. Please get this very clear. Its the only ones I met are VERY bad and i believe there are good ones left.

Regarding white girls, i do not date them because i have no interest and is not attracted to them in anyways. Sure, any girls are dateable, but I go for quality not quantity. Honestly, i am not very impressed by your post labelling me as a race-selective racist who will become "defeated, un-confident, and weak".

 

[perswaysive]

I'm in the same boat as you nguyen (although I'm not asian).

All the girls that interest me are taken!

 

[ikkenai]

Threaten them at knifepoint.

If that doesn't work, go to each message board on this site (INCLUDING Health and Fitness), and display topics by number of replies from "beginning."

Prepare for your attitude, behaviour and perceptions to change.

 

[[]D [] []V[] []D]

Hey hey... im a fellow Torontarian too, its nice to see there are quite a lot of DJ's in Toronto.

I just have 1 question and a comment.

Q: Im still attending high school but a lot of times when i see guys that have girlfriends and visa versa...i cant tell if hes really an AFC or not. Can you guys tell me some things to look for in a guy to show if hes an AFC (when hes in a realtionship). And by the way, dun say stuff like hes unconfident, not funny cuz i already know that, and he wouldnt have gotten the girl in the first place.


Secondly, tho im still in highschool, there are many azn girls that are messed (Im an azn myself). If you really want azn and when i say azn i mean chinese.... try going for the Christians Im one myself, and they're nicer.... not hos.

So becuz of these chinese girls that always grimace to new ppl.... ive gone on to white girls. The one's that aren't attention *****s are actually interesting and easy to talk to

I think the reason why asian girls dont like asian guys is cuz they arent exciting enough for them...becuz the whites are more exciting...trust me (at least thats what they think - and its pretty true). Also, a lot of azn girls only act nice to other azn guys that have lots of friends (social status) so that they can become popular if they become his girlfriend. Its true!

But anyways...you said that you feel weird just going up to a girl and asking if she's single? Well obviously thats not normally what you first ask... I find it easiest if you pretend to ask her a question. E.G. Hey do you get what the teachers saying (& then follow up with some C&F of course) / Or a comment like...wow your writing so much, you must be getting like 95's...ahh nerd! (act confident while saying this tho).

These are just some phrases in high school brought through elementary... donno if you guys still use this stuff but its just some suggestions... tell me how it goes

 

[nguyen]

[]D [] []V[] []D - you mentioned that if the asian girls like to date white guys because he is more exciting, then I will not want to have ANYTHING to do with her. These are the so called white washed garbage in Toronto where any intelligent asian guy will avoid.

Second: Also, a lot of azn girls only act nice to other azn guys that have lots of friends (social status) so that they can become popular if they become his girlfriend.

Again, i would want nothing to do with those girls. If what they value is just superficial stuff like how many "friend" you have, then I can say **** YOU, I am not interesting in you regardless how you look. I know exactly how those girls think "look how great I am! My bf has so many friends, WOW he must be the best guy"

Let me shed some light, in my high school years, I’ve met enough of those so called “popular” guys with many friends and gf. Fast track to today – they are still the same old loser holding a mcdonald job or like making minimum wage complaining about not getting paid enough or complaining about never able to find a decent job.

Now, don't get me wrong, I am not a loner or anti-social. I have a group of VERY CLOSE friends, but not nearly as many as those “popular” guys. Again, I value QUALITY not QUANTITY. I don’t go around and date every datable girl I see and hope to let statistics take its course. No, my time is more valuable than wasting it on useless woman that will turn out to he a POS or gold-digger if I don’t choose carefully

 

[mrmoe]

Well, listen buddy. I never labelled you a race selective racist. I was offering my advice as to what might help. Nor did I call you all those things. Wasn't saying that YOU were all those things specifically. I just said if you have that type of an attitude (which it seems you did from your b!tchy little post), that's the type of person you will come across as.

There's a difference between believing there are good ones left and actually seeing that are good ones left. I can believe there is a 'great girl' all I want but if I'm not out there doing anything about trying to nab her, my belief is worthless. If you've been meeting the wrong ones, then look elsewhere. It's not that difficult of a concept.

I don't know why you're being so sensitive about this but just validates my suspicions about you. You come here for advice, that's what I gave. Instead you're acting like a little sissy. Are you looking for validation or agreement or sympathy to your situation? I'll tell you now, if you are this ultra-sensitive towards me, nothing anyone here will say will help you land any girls. You need to learn to grow some balls. Peace.

 

[tmpgstx]

nguyen .. now that's a familar screen name i haven't seen in awhile (stupid-boy.com or Yahoo Singapore msg brds?)

Nice to see you make the pit stop .. this board is somewhat addictive, but in a good constructive way.

Anywayz .. the quality vs. quantity thing .. yeah, good luck, the quality ones are few and far between, especially if you're in the tech industry (i know)!

My advice is, if they're not married, then they're available period. You have to take on this mentality if you want a decent girlz, simply bacause the majority of them are taken! Find one in a not-so-good relationship where the attraction is mutual and get her to your side of the fence.

Keep those CPU algorithms in the West dawg

 

[nguyen]

listen - say all you want. I am not here for your sympathy and you do not need any from you. Please take a closer look at my post directed towards you and also your post "If you continue to have this negative attitude towards asian (or any) women, you will get no where."

Now, when did I SAY ALL women are like that? Did I ever post anywhere in this thread that 100% of the asian woman have the following attribute XYZ that makes them undesirable. No, I did not say any of that and you are IMPLYING that i have this negative attitude towars all woman. I do not have such attitude whatsoever. Again you are wrong and you have no right to call me a sissy or anything. Let me also tell you one thing, please **** OFF if you have nothing constructive to say and try to label someone with you limited judgement as having such and such attitude

I do not simply glance at a girl and lable her as crap, good, or medium, maybe that what you implied i do which i do not. My perception of someone only form after action.

I've had girls trying to ask me to bring them to my work's party/social event and after further questioning, their intention is to use it as a job fair and give my manager or VP resumes.

I've also had asian and white trash trying to rip off free CPU's and Video cards for their older/younger brother.

Any guy with basic intelligence will label those above woman as negative.

mrmoe, i do not know if you have any real world experience either in the corporate world or like.