New trend of countering drinks with coffee

[Sleeperhead]

Nothing wrong with going for coffee.

The problem is that they are not agreeing to your date suggestion, meaning their interest isn't high enough. They want you to submit to them rather than they to you.

If you turn her down, you probably won't score, but if you agree to coffee you're her *****. Best way to deal with this is to make another counteroffer with an entirely new suggestion.

 

[lost_blackbird]

Alcohol = empty calories.

That's true, this week when putting my recycling out I decided to count my beer cans from the
previous week. I drink Kronenbourg 5% lager usually, mainly because it's cheaper than other brands.
There were 32 empty 1 pint cans counted this week ( I might add I was trying to rein it in a bit last
week, because the week before I filled two recycling boxes with beer cans alone), at approx 250
calories per can, that's 8000 calories and £48 spent.

 

[Cappo Yung]

I tried earlier in the year, got up to 37 days, only broke when I got COVID-19, and forced lock-down at home. After a few days, I still had about a dozen or so bottles of wine at home, and broke due to sheer boredom.

Going to my local pub where I am a regular, is one of my core ways to relax. I work long hours due to shift work, and my usual round can get quite expensive after a few: Scotch & Soda with a chaser of a shot of Fireball.

Ahh got you, well just like Game, we have to keep at it till we get the desired results. Quitting drinking for you might enhance your life somewhat, and quitting smoking for me would make me more alert and save money.

Good luck on the journey again my brother.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

We’ll said….big question is - what’s the purpose of the date? I can create tension in a coffee shop. Keep everything light - light convo, light keno, light laughter, and TIME CONSTRAINT. After 20 min, I’m out the door and she should be wanting more. She should be smiling at something I did or said - I’ve used runes, palm reading, fortune telling in coffee shop. Do a couple quick sets to get her heart racing, tell her something she didn’t know about herself, compliment her high level intelligence, blah blah blah —— out the door. Send a cute text after and close the date on text. Women love that ****.

I guess my issue is that I'm not trying to lose anything and get to sex as soon as possible. Screwing a chick on the first date is uncommon, so a 30-minute coffee date works better for me vs someone that might need to do more other things like raise tension.

 

[logicallefty]

I think I could work with this:

HB: "How about we meet somewhere for coffee instead of at barX"
LL: "OK Sure, but only if you get decaf"
HB: "Oh yeah why is that? "
LL: "You will already be plenty excited when you meet me. We don't need caffeine casing you to overload and croak on the first date. I would have to give you CPR "

If later at any point I decided to kiss her for the first time, I could say:

LL: "Oh no!"
HB" What?!"
LL: "Your face, you don't look good at all. I think you need some CPR"
<kiss incoming>

 

[Cerwin Vega]

I think I could work with this:

HB: "How about we meet somewhere for coffee instead of at barX"
LL: "OK Sure, but only if you get decaf"
HB: "Oh yeah why is that? "
LL: "You will already be plenty excited when you meet me. We don't need caffeine casing you to overload and croak on the first date. I would have to give you CPR "

If later at any point I decided to kiss her for the first time, I could say:

LL: "Oh no!"
HB" What?!"
LL: "Your face, you don't look good at all. I think you need some CPR"
<kiss incoming>

The older I get, the more cringy these things start sounding and may only fit very specific situations

 

[BackInTheGame78]

This is a trend when they aren't very interested.

 

[logicallefty]

The older I get, the more cringy these things start sounding and may only fit very specific situations

It’s my specific style I suppose. Light, funny, and mysterious. The goal is for her to say “ I just never know what the he!! you are going to say or do next. I need to see you again and figure you out” .

 

[Cerwin Vega]

It’s my specific style I suppose. Light, funny, and mysterious. The goal is for her to say “ I just never know what the he!! you are going to say or do next. I need to see you again and figure you out” .

I guess I can't feel genuine with this sh!t. Hot chicks can see right through it and call out the insecurity

 

[logicallefty]

I guess I can't feel genuine with this sh!t. Hot chicks can see right through it and call out the insecurity

Yeah I suppose some hot chicks do prefer "Hi how are you?" , "I am good, how are you". "I am good. What have you been up to?" "Not much, what about you". "Not much. Do you come here often". "No I do not, do you"..... To each their own I suppose.

 

[The Duke]

I asked a female friend about coffee shop dates, and she basically said its fine for a short meet and greet to see if there might be chemistry but that's it. Definitely not a tingle generator.

 

[user252009]

This is a trend when they aren't very interested.

They aren't very interested and it's a trend because the trend is they're only interested in the top 4-5%.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

They aren't very interested and it's a trend because the trend is they're only interested in the top 4-5%.

I'm not in the top 5% and have no issues. Easy to try and blame other things, much harder for guys to take a look in the mirror and admit they have things they are doing to themself that are causing lack of success.

Gotta always be adapting like a chameleon, never get complacent. Complacency leads to lack of results eventually.

 

[Cerwin Vega]

Yeah I suppose some hot chicks do prefer "Hi how are you?" , "I am good, how are you". "I am good. What have you been up to?" "Not much, what about you". "Not much. Do you come here often". "No I do not, do you"..... To each their own I suppose.

The c&f stuff aren't sustainable in an LTR

 

[zekko]

not all women drink that much. However, I admit that Im very likely to flake on a coffee date because its boring as hell.

Interesting. I find drinking alcohol boring as hell. Although I did like it back in my "dating age" 20s.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Easy to try and blame other things, much harder for guys to take a look in the mirror and admit they have things they are doing to themself that are causing lack of success.

You can do both so long as you look in the mirror first.

 

[BadBoy89]

Now I dont mind coffee as long as we dont go to starbucks for those sugar drinks.

What If you go to McDomalds for those regular drinks?

 

[user252009]

I'm not in the top 5% and have no issues. Easy to try and blame other things, much harder for guys to take a look in the mirror and admit they have things they are doing to themself that are causing lack of success.

Gotta always be adapting like a chameleon, never get complacent. Complacency leads to lack of results eventually.

Doesn't matter if you're 5 foot 7 and bald. I can be jacked and be interesting and good money. Won't turn them on (w0m4nese: not interested)

 

[devilkingx2]

A coffee date is fine if it's a first meet between total strangers, like a short cold approach or OLD. I would take it as a bad sign in any other scenario.

I would propose drinks as a first date, but I'd accept or make a counteroffer for coffee or a walk in the park or something. Definitely not a second date though.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Doesn't matter if you're 5 foot 7 and bald. I can be jacked and be interesting and good money. Won't turn them on (w0m4nese: not interested)

People make way too many excuses for things. I'm 5'8" and shave my head. Apparently that gives me an advantage somehow?

Never once have I thought any of that stuff puts me at a disadvantage. Never has even been a thought in my mind.

Unless you are simply delusional and think you are going to date 10s, you can do fine. Personality, being a conversationalist and confidence go pretty far. Way farther than most guys think.