New to the sight, been reading alot of info on PU online, About a year ago meet this hot bartender, at the time she had A BF, so I flirted but didnt try to close at all.We talked back then here and there, both of us date others of and on, Just recently we both became single. FYI Im a truck driver so Im not in town much. The other night Im at the bar kicking it with my brother had sent her a txt earlier that night, she shows up we having good time, flirty type stuff both of us drunk, FYI I've mad it clear with my body language that Im not looking for Buddy, we hug kiss on check every time see her BF or not.. Well last night we got to chat it up more then normal, she even sat on my lap and she held my hand for a minute however I didnt want to seem desperate so I spent the night talking with friends havent seen in a while, making new friends, opening other women, bar closed. her BFF was giving her a ride said cool have a GN text me when ya get home, she did just that, then out of no place she calls me today and was like hey we should hang out go to Sic Flags or something, Im like yea that would be awesome I'm already a season ticket holder, cause of my schedule work wise I couldnt really close a date we can go on yet, where do I take thing from here, how do i let her know I'm interested and that my job aint going to cause issues.. How do I keep her thinkin about me while I'm out on the road etc anything on this would be great ty peeps
New to the site help a fella out
- Thread starter scottvfly
- Start date
Wolfgang D
Senior Don Juan
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Hello, Scott! It seems she is really interested if she actually suggests a date to you. And you have handled it perfectly fine, not being clingy, talking to your friends much of the time at the bar instead of trying to catch her attention. It doesn't seem you need much advice, actually.
As a bartender she probably has a lot of guys coming on to her, but she wants to be with you. Good work!
So you couldn't set a time for the date because of your job, that's fine, you're a man and you are working. She knows what your job is, I am sure she is familiar with a trucker's work schedule. Just think of a day farther into the future when you can see her.
Now about this: "How do I keep her thinkin about me while I'm out on the road etc" -- Send the very occasional text, don't overdo it. And in your text, sound casual, don't talk about thinking about her, and don't add cute words and smileys (smileys sometimes, but sparingly). The text shouldn't be about her and you, really; find some other cheerful reason to write. The purpose of the text is to just be a short notice that you haven't forgotten.
Just the other week I got a text message from a girl at 3 am. (Salsa Girl from this thread.) I had met her a few times, but had pretty much written her off. She was up late studying and didn't think of that she might be waking me up. Naturally I waited five hours before I replied, only wrote something casual back. Then three nights later I texted her at 5 am in reply to something she had written, and I added, "...Oh, sorry, I didn't wake you up did I? (sunglasses smiley)" That's casual, that's teasing. No mention of missing her, etc.
Now, for a new forum reader, some tips:
-This is not a "PUA" forum. We use the term "DJ", as in Don Juan, and it is a tongue in cheek name. "PUA" is about selling books, videos and costly seminars, and we reject that. We also reject the canned lines and things like "peacocking by wearing a large hat and feather boa to show you're special." This is a self-help forum for guys without the tricks.
-I recommend the DJ Bible. You can find it here. Sticky thread about it by Desdinova here. The "Bible" is simply links to threads that are considered very good reading. (The thread openers, that is, not the whole threads.) I can tell you, not all of those threads are essential reading, and there are not many who have read them all. But it is still a great resource. Stroll through the threads and you will learn many things. So many questions can be answered that way. I wish everyone would read the DJ Bible a bit before they post here.
-This was a good thread that you made. It is about a real-life thing, it has substance. Too often we see people post threads about little details, some theory they have, which could just as well have been only a post in comment to someone else's more important thread. These threads clog up the forum and push valuable threads off the first page in only ten hours. These people are attention wh0res. You'll learn to recognize them. We have seen a lot of that lately, and it is getting tiresome. My advice (not just to you, but to everyone) is to only post threads that actually have some substance. It doesn't have to be a long thread opener. Just something that actually has a substantial topic.
As a bartender she probably has a lot of guys coming on to her, but she wants to be with you. Good work!
So you couldn't set a time for the date because of your job, that's fine, you're a man and you are working. She knows what your job is, I am sure she is familiar with a trucker's work schedule. Just think of a day farther into the future when you can see her.
Now about this: "How do I keep her thinkin about me while I'm out on the road etc" -- Send the very occasional text, don't overdo it. And in your text, sound casual, don't talk about thinking about her, and don't add cute words and smileys (smileys sometimes, but sparingly). The text shouldn't be about her and you, really; find some other cheerful reason to write. The purpose of the text is to just be a short notice that you haven't forgotten.
Just the other week I got a text message from a girl at 3 am. (Salsa Girl from this thread.) I had met her a few times, but had pretty much written her off. She was up late studying and didn't think of that she might be waking me up. Naturally I waited five hours before I replied, only wrote something casual back. Then three nights later I texted her at 5 am in reply to something she had written, and I added, "...Oh, sorry, I didn't wake you up did I? (sunglasses smiley)" That's casual, that's teasing. No mention of missing her, etc.
Now, for a new forum reader, some tips:
-This is not a "PUA" forum. We use the term "DJ", as in Don Juan, and it is a tongue in cheek name. "PUA" is about selling books, videos and costly seminars, and we reject that. We also reject the canned lines and things like "peacocking by wearing a large hat and feather boa to show you're special." This is a self-help forum for guys without the tricks.
-I recommend the DJ Bible. You can find it here. Sticky thread about it by Desdinova here. The "Bible" is simply links to threads that are considered very good reading. (The thread openers, that is, not the whole threads.) I can tell you, not all of those threads are essential reading, and there are not many who have read them all. But it is still a great resource. Stroll through the threads and you will learn many things. So many questions can be answered that way. I wish everyone would read the DJ Bible a bit before they post here.
-This was a good thread that you made. It is about a real-life thing, it has substance. Too often we see people post threads about little details, some theory they have, which could just as well have been only a post in comment to someone else's more important thread. These threads clog up the forum and push valuable threads off the first page in only ten hours. These people are attention wh0res. You'll learn to recognize them. We have seen a lot of that lately, and it is getting tiresome. My advice (not just to you, but to everyone) is to only post threads that actually have some substance. It doesn't have to be a long thread opener. Just something that actually has a substantial topic.
Harry Wilmington
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Aug 19, 2012
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- 1,201
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Simple: figure out your schedule, then tell her when you two can go. The fact that she came to YOU with a dating idea means she's interested in you, or at the very least getting to know you better to see what you're all about.
As for the other stuff:
1. You don't need to verbally let a girl know you're interested - when you ask her for the date or take her out, she'll be able to read that there's an interest there. However, she won't know at what level your interest is - and that's actually a GOOD thing, as she should be thinking she has to work her darndest to keep your attention. So, no blabbing about feelings or saying dumb stuff like "hey, so just in case you couldn't figure it out, I really like you and think you're great." If you read enough on this board, you'll see the results you get when guys do this stuff...
2. It's not your job to try and convince a girl about whether or not your job is going to cause issues; it's only your job to make her feel so good when she's with you that she's DYING to see you again, regardless of when that is. You WANT her to feel like she has to work to be placed in your busy life schedule as a priority. And - here's the thing - if you do the job you're supposed to do on these dates to make her feel special, you won't have to worry about doing extra stuff while you're on the road to keep her interest. Women pine after guys for YEARS that go in and out of their lives for months at a time - so, if you're only leaving for a couple of weeks here and there, you've got nothing to worry about. You not being around so much will actually make her think about you more, thus causing her interest in you to increase... but again, that's only if you're doing the right things on these dates when you DO see her.
Hope this helps!
As for the other stuff:
1. You don't need to verbally let a girl know you're interested - when you ask her for the date or take her out, she'll be able to read that there's an interest there. However, she won't know at what level your interest is - and that's actually a GOOD thing, as she should be thinking she has to work her darndest to keep your attention. So, no blabbing about feelings or saying dumb stuff like "hey, so just in case you couldn't figure it out, I really like you and think you're great." If you read enough on this board, you'll see the results you get when guys do this stuff...
2. It's not your job to try and convince a girl about whether or not your job is going to cause issues; it's only your job to make her feel so good when she's with you that she's DYING to see you again, regardless of when that is. You WANT her to feel like she has to work to be placed in your busy life schedule as a priority. And - here's the thing - if you do the job you're supposed to do on these dates to make her feel special, you won't have to worry about doing extra stuff while you're on the road to keep her interest. Women pine after guys for YEARS that go in and out of their lives for months at a time - so, if you're only leaving for a couple of weeks here and there, you've got nothing to worry about. You not being around so much will actually make her think about you more, thus causing her interest in you to increase... but again, that's only if you're doing the right things on these dates when you DO see her.
Hope this helps!
Ok, So today i text her for the first time since my post, cause I just found out from work I'll be home until the 20th of this month. simple message really... "six flag soon?"
she then called talked a bit, suggested Sunday, she said her only day off was saturday, couldnt close the deal she said she let me know in the next day or two.. had some small talk about how she's looking for a new day time full time job, asked me some question about that. Then she said if I don't hear from her in the next few days its not cause she blowing me off it's cause "she retarded" (those were her words)..
1. If i dont hear from her by Friday should I call her or is this a test?
2. what does she mean she's retarded
3. Tips on physical escalation at a them park?
$. Any other advice welcome
she then called talked a bit, suggested Sunday, she said her only day off was saturday, couldnt close the deal she said she let me know in the next day or two.. had some small talk about how she's looking for a new day time full time job, asked me some question about that. Then she said if I don't hear from her in the next few days its not cause she blowing me off it's cause "she retarded" (those were her words)..
1. If i dont hear from her by Friday should I call her or is this a test?
2. what does she mean she's retarded
3. Tips on physical escalation at a them park?
$. Any other advice welcome