New to the game, not used to having to play it.

[vwmaniac]

First time poster, I've been reading the great info here for a while though.

I'll try to keep it as short as I can and still get in the right info. In the past I've meet women that usually take to me well enough right off the bat that I end up in multiple-year relationships. Because of this I'm completely oblivious to the games some women play when things are new and could use some advice on a current situation.

We met through friends at a bar, she got pretty drunk and it led to quite a bit more physical contact than I'm used to when I've just met someone. Made out a bit on her front porch when I dropped her off and felt I could have sealed the deal if I pressed it, but decided not to since she was drunk. The next day we meet up for lunch and she wasn't apprehensive when I kissed her, so I believe she is interested enough to continue.

Two days later I invite her to dinner today before her shift starts at 7, she cancelled this morning via text, so I used it as an opportunity to not be a complete chump by just saying ok and then trying to call her tomorrow. Here is the exact transaction:

Her: "Don't hate me but I might have to take a raincheck on dinner today....I had a long night at work and need to sleep and get ready for two more nights. Another time?"

Me: "I'll keep the hate on hold , but how are you going to make it up to me?"

We both know we are getting together Saturday with a few mutual friends, but haven't mentioned anything to each other about it. I'm thinking the right plan is to not contact her until we meet up Saturday and see how things fly.

Hopefully you guys can tell me if I'm heading in the right direction, and maybe things to look for Saturday. Thanks a lot, this is a great community to stumble across.

 

[PDubb75]

Welcome to the forum.

That was a pretty good response. It didn't come off desperate, and you were still able to throw in a funny comment and an open question with a sexual undertone. I would do exactly as you mentioned, and not contact her before you see her Saturday. If she initiates it, that's a different story.

As far as Saturday, it sounds like you should just keep escalating. Two separate occasions she showed no signs that she isn't interested (at least based on what you said). I'm sure you know the obvious things to look for (eyes, playing with hair, body position, etc). Just play it cool. It sounds like you got her where you want her.

Keep us updated!

 

[Mike32ct]

I would recommend that you read about the Two Strike Rule listed in the signature of f283000.

I would definitely back off and don't contact her again until Saturday. On Saturday, play it cool and see how it goes. If the conversation goes well, then maybe try again to schedule a time and place to meet. If she flakes a second time, next her.

I am assuming that it would not be practical to fool around with her Saturday with all the friends around. Of course, if you can isolate her that night and make a move, that's even better than setting up a date.

I am concerned that she made no counteroffer or offer to make it up to you. She might well have low interest level, but it's worth one more try.

 

[vwmaniac]

I read the 2 strikes thread and completely agree with that logic, I think that's where I stole the 'make it up to me' part. It seemed like the perfect opportunity. No counter yet, but that seems to be her m.o. when we are not talking in person. I'll be sure to update, I'm supposed to be studying up for finals but I can't stop reading some of this stuff.

 

[comic_relief]

I would recommend that you read about the Two Strike Rule listed in the signature of f283000.

I would definitely back off and don't contact her again until Saturday. On Saturday, play it cool and see how it goes. If the conversation goes well, then maybe try again to schedule a time and place to meet. If she flakes a second time, next her.

I am assuming that it would not be practical to fool around with her Saturday with all the friends around. Of course, if you can isolate her that night and make a move, that's even better than setting up a date.

I am concerned that she made no counteroffer or offer to make it up to you. She might well have low interest level, but it's worth one more try.

Good read on the situation

if she turns down the offer again, next her.

If she does have high interest, than she is just playing games. Bad sign
If she has low to no interest, than she doesn't like you and will take you more trouble than needed to raise it. Bad sign.

At least as far as relationships go. If it is just a random hookup/Fbuddy, than go to town.

See what happens, but I would be wary of this one. Have fun on saturday.

- comic_relief

 

[PDubb75]

I somewhat misunderstood the original post. I didn't realize there was no response to your last message. I think I assumed that had just happened so you didn't get a reply yet.

So, in that case, Mike and comic are the ones to listen to.

 

[vwmaniac]

Latest update, still haven't heard back from the original lady regarding her flaking on dinner before she went to work. Everyone eats, and it's not like she's going to get up at 6:45 and go to work at 7, then order rucky kitchen. On the plus side, I got what appears to be a legitimate number from an attractive girl at a local brewery tonight. Story:

Me and a friend were out getting ****-housed (eventually), and moved from the food side of the brewery to the bar side to watch the hockey game. She was sitting at the by herself with two open seats to the right and one to the left. I got a quick smile as we approached and she broke contact first. My friend, being much better at this stuff than me, goes immediately to the bathroom so I can say hi alone. I didn't even see the main benefit of that move until later, and I know he did it on purpose cause he was in there about 3 minutes. I order up a drink, start a tab, and get a conversation going.

Things went well, genuine laughs and good eye contact. Ends up she was waiting on a friend that just dropped her guy off at the airport. I then ask, "Shouldn't a pretty girl like you have guys flying in to visit?" To which she replies, "I don't really have time for guys." Burn.

Normally, in retard mode I would lose my momentum and write her off, but dammit she can't be serious. I pause a second and tell her, "I don't know about that, your sitting next to a guy now, talking, and even smiling with him, everyone has time if they want to make it."

Conversation continued in the same manner, nothing negative that I could tell and no sudden change of face, all smiles and laughs. When her friend did show I backed off a bit to not be intrusive. Occasionally over the next 15 minutes if they paused their conversation she would look my way and we'd have a 2-3 line exchange. As they were finishing up eating I had just paid the tab. When I asked for her number she didn't skip a beat, and I made sure to touch her shoulder and wish them both a great evening on the way out.

I felt good about it, and plan to call her up Saturday and make plans for Tuesday or Wednesday next week. Is 2 days the right amount of time? Is there anything I should have done differently? Thanks again for feedback, this might turn into a how-to for other guys late to the party like me

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

She didn't reply to your C&F? That can be a bad sign. But as those guys said above. Hit her up Saturday. If she flakes then then keep it moving.

 

[vwmaniac]

Update from yesterday:

The original girl showed up Saturday with her friend. Even though I was glad to see she came, I only gave a smile and a hi from across the room before grabbing my friend to go check out his new motorcycle in the garage. Our dumb-**** waitress had to go and ask who's together on the checks before we even ordered food (8 of total, 2 couples). Of course we got separate checks, I didn't invite her out so no way am I picking up the tab. Either way the rest of the night went great, lots of contact and perversion. She apologized for flaking last week even though I didn't say a word about it, but if she flakes this week I'm still calling it strike 2.

I also called the girl from the brewery and got voicemail. I left a message simply reminding her where we met and stating I would try her tomorrow. I'm going to call her later tonight and am unsure of how to play it out if she doesn't pick up. My instinct is to leave my number, tell her to callback, then forget about her. What would you guys do?

 

[badboyjmm]

You played good for the original girl, keep it up


For the other girl: If you left a message already, then wait a couple more days before calling back. Calling too much smell like desperation. After a couple days (3-4 days) call back, this time don't leave a message and leave it to that. If the girl has interest, she will call back within a day or two. If not, delete the number

 

[vwmaniac]

Took girl 1 (original) to lunch today, kissed me right when I got there, no gaps in conversation while we were out. We took a walk and ended up back at her place and chatted on the porch a bit. The night before she went out with friends and was texting like crazy trying to get me to come out. I didn't want to give the impression that I would just drop my **** and come party on a whim, so I kept the texts going a little before ending with mention of our lunch plans the next day.

I called girl 2 back this afternoon, and against badboyjmm's advice I did leave a message. Just stated that I'm going out tomorrow night after my last final for the semester and if she wants to join me to call back, then left my number. She called back an hour later and we're meeting up. She seemed talkative enough, but I could tell she was a little nervous.

This is where I need a little help again. I've honestly never gone on multiple dates with different girls like this, I usually meet one and within a few weeks it works or doesn't then I try again with another. Is there a trick to getting out of my previous mentality and into the zone where I'm comfortable casually seeing multiple women? It's probably just a practice makes perfect situation...

 

[badboyjmm]

The reason that I said to not leave a message it's because she knows you call and knows your number. It's cool since she's interested.

Just think that you are going to see two different friend (DON'T ACT LIKE A FRIEND WITH THEM THOUGH), except that you are trying to bang them hahaha. You are doing awesome, have fun with the process and report back