New to the forums with far too many questions.

[jackofasses]

Alright, let me start by saying that i'm new to your forums but I have been getting the DJ daily e-mails for tips and tricks with women. However, being new, there are many things that come in those daily e-mails that are missing the important fundamentals. But before we get to the fundamentals, I think i should share a bit about me.

I'm 24 years old, 6'2" blond hair (well actually i'm bald now because I shaved my head), blue eyes and right now am 30 lbs overweight at 260lbs. It drives me nuts that i'm slightly overweight, even though girls and even the guys at work say I don't look 260. ( I am though, I used the industrial scale at my work and that's pretty precise.)

Anyway... Some days I don't feel like i'm a bad looking guy, alot of girls I talk to or friends and stuff say that i'm a decent looking guy. Those days are few and far between however. Most times i'm pretty depressed and unsatisfied with how I look (being fat and ugly mostly) and it all comes down to when I was younger. (I know it shouldn't affect me at all because it's just kids being stupid but hey man, find me someone who can shrug off 14 years of insults and then we'll talk) But anyway, confidence is an issue. Another thing that makes it worse is that I currently live with my dad. After 6 years of being mostly independent I had a rough few months where everything went to hell (lost my appartment because the roommates split up, mom got diagnosed with advanced ovarian cancer, lost my job so couldn't afford a new place, etc.) so I moved back with him for a kind of temporary pause and reset on life.. but that made me move away from my comfort zone and about 8 hours away from all my friends.

Wow, this post is starting to sound like a real downer.

Anyway, i've also been somewhat involved with a girl from texas (i'm in canada) whom i've never met. Yeah, the whole internet relationship no no thing. And it was going well up until recently. But I really like this girl and really don't want her to get away. So I want to find a way to peek her interest again and make her think that a relationship is worth the effort (and all relationships DO take effort, I don't care what anybody says.)

At the same time, I need to get out, I need to meet people. I need to network and make friends. I feel like I need that to build up my confidence and in general, I just need alot of help. But I don't want to go out to the parks alone and randomly talk to strangers, and i'd more than likely look like a complete moron walking into a bar alone trying to make friends. i've managed to meet a nice younger couple through a nerdy hobby of mine, but again, having nerds swarming around probably won't help my case in meeting people who can help my confidence.

Now, in terms of meeting girls (not to replace my texan lady but just to meet new people because randomly walking up to guys and being like "hey,nice shirt, be my friend." would probably get me punched in the face.) I know that initial eye contact is important. Do me a favor, help me figure out how to make eye contact WITHOUT staring at the girl and creeping her RIGHT out, and how to know if it's the 'good' eye contact or her just glancing around at the other people in the area, the bus, whatever.

Man this post is random... can you tell i need help?

 

[Sir_Chalupalot]

Did you read the bible? If not read it, I read it all in 2 sittings, it covers about everything.

I'm new too, first post, getting out of a slump, I used bits and pieces of whats in the bible naturally, but never could put it all together. The bible puts it out there in steps to follow.

I'm shedding my AFC skin.

 

[flexion_]

I think I would focus on yourself first.

You admit you are insecure about your appearance and weight. Well a good haircut and a trip to the clothing store is something you can change. Don't go nutts and spend a tonne of money. The weight thing - well we all go through that on some level and so do women.

You mention some kind of messed up childhood so that does affect you as an adult - maybe you need to talk to a doctor about that one.

If you'll notice I'm not even mentioning trying to meet women at this point.

I can tell you where I have met most of my friends:
Sports, School, Work.

So consider taking a course that interests you, do some charity work and you'll meet all kinds of people, pick up a sport or gym and you'll meet some guys to hang out with as well.

"Just do it." comes to mind here.

 

[jackofasses]

I have so many roadblocks to overcome it's ridiculous. Just looking at it all is very discouraging. I used to live just outside of Toronto in a rich town called oakville where I went to college. That was a stellar social life. But because of all the life problems that have come up I recently moved to quebec. Believe it or not there is a MASSIVE culture shock. Even though I speak the language (hooray for french school) never having really used it makes it REALLY rusty and again, makes you very self conscious. While there are alot of english people here in quebec now, it's still a majority of french.. especially the REALLY hot girls. So I have to deal with that too. I managed to land a job here, but I can't stand it. I make garage doors with a bunch of guys in their 40's and 50's who are all either single or divorced. I think there are 2 guys my age, one of whom has a 5 year old son the other one is a complete idiot.

As I said, I have a hobby that gets me out about once a week and helps me socialize for a whopping 3 hours if i'm lucky. But then again, i'm only socializing with people interested in my nerdy warhammer hobby. The rest of the time I'm at home painting the damn models, or playing xbox, or on the internet. Doesn't help that I live in a small town in BFN and have to redo my drivers license due to mine expiring just before I moved here (cuz i'm stupid and didn't renew it because i was moving.) Go me go! Always been a winner when it comes to ****ty life choices. I tells ya.

 

[jackofasses]

Wow, i'm totally not a don Juan.. I even broke rule #1. don't cry about it and ask dumb questions in the forums.. boo-urns