New to online dating - setting up dates

[Oneday_]

Quick question, how do you get a woman to want to meet up when you've exchanged numbers and avoid pointless texting back and forth.

How do you spark attraction over little text exchanges that gets her wanting to see you? It's much easier in person but I'm new to online dating and women seem to have a.d.d. as I imagine they're being flooded with attention from men.

 

[Tenacity]

Quick question, how do you get a woman to want to meet up when you've exchanged numbers and avoid pointless texting back and forth.

How do you spark attraction over little text exchanges that gets her wanting to see you? It's much easier in person but I'm new to online dating and women seem to have a.d.d. as I imagine they're being flooded with attention from men.

Others might disagree with me on here, but I have been using both pretty good and I focus mainly now on online dating because I've gotten so efficient/good at it (in terms of getting new women, dates and a.ss).

Meeting a chick from an online site is HARDER than meeting her somewhere in person. So online is all about being this PERSONALITY. The personality that you have is so large it literally shines through the words you type on a screen to her, it's like she can figure out WHO you are just by what and how you type.

That personality is developed from meeting women consistently IN PERSON. If you don't have that personality, online dating won't work for you. Once you develop that personality (as well as fix your profile to one where you look relatively decent, etc.) then you will find the online dating is very efficient as you can reach more girls, in less time, and at the end of the day have more plates spinning in less time than it would take you to build that up from just meeting women in person.

You aren't going to convert every girl, if you are converting about 10% - 15% you are doing okay. So it goes like this:

- You note a bunch of chicks

- You get 20 numbers over the course of let's say, 2 months

- After dating some, having some flakes, not getting to date some, etc., you end up actually fvcking (or kissing or anything sexual) about 2 or 3 of those 20 chicks.

If you are doing that, then you are doing well. Those 2 or 3 chicks should usually have 1 of them being someone you can do something with some sort of length with, such as a short term or long term relationship.

 

[Oneday_]

So even with knowing "game" you still will have girls flake, not respond, lose interest?

I'm finding if I get the number the conversations fizzle out and I'm reluctant to send another text to get it going so I just delete the number.

Problem is, 98% of the women don't seem like relationship material. Is that normal?

 

[Tenacity]

So even with knowing "game" you still will have girls flake, not respond, lose interest?

I'm finding if I get the number the conversations fizzle out and I'm reluctant to send another text to get it going so I just delete the number.

Problem is, 98% of the women don't seem like relationship material. Is that normal?

1.) Yes, no amount of "game" is going to give you a 100% shooting average. Most of this seduction shyt is just bullshyt, it's a form of giving a guy something to believe in (the tactic) because he really doesn't believe in himself worth a shyt which is why he doesn't have natural confidence. Besides ****y/Funny, I think all of the other seduction tactics are just straight bullshyt, and ****y/Funny I wouldn't even call a tactic btw, it's just being a person that can carry on an interesting conversation.

2.) All you can do is get to efficiency in the major areas, such as fixing your finances/career, getting a nice place, a nice car, fixing your looks, fixing the way you dress, and working on your personality/conversation skills with women to where you can spark up a conversation with ANYBODY and with women in particular you know how to speak to them in a way that seduces a consistent chunk of them. You will NEVER attract all of them, you most likely won't attract MOST of the women you talk to, what's key is to make sure you are converting a consistent percentage.

3.) The personality/conversation part takes practice, practice, practice and you will know when you are efficient in that area as you will be able to just DO IT without thinking about it.

4.) Yes, we are discussing in other threads how horrible the market is. Doing what I listed in number two is going to INCREASE your quantity of plates you are spinning and a.ss/dates you get. Now, finding a quality fvcking relationship is something TOTALLY different and something that I'm coming to terms doesn't even exist anymore.

 

[Oneday_]

It's becoming frustrating doing online dating. Not many responses.

How are women finding quality men on these sites? I imagine 99% of them don't visit these forums or know much about attraction yet it seems the women are busy with other men.

 

[Yewki]

It's becoming frustrating doing online dating. Not many responses.

How are women finding quality men on these sites? I imagine 99% of them don't visit these forums or know much about attraction yet it seems the women are busy with other men.

They're not necessarily finding quality men. The women respond to whoever is messaging them with the best profile pics. Quality is not exactly relevant, and in many cases they don't care either. Any half decent woman gets several messages per day. The attractive ones get hundreds. Every female on there is dating up, or at least trying to.

 

[Knight's Cross]

Bingo, OLD is like Tinder. You have to have rock solid profile. Also less is more. Once they bite the hook, set up a meet. No phone # request, just set up a date, coffee, run in the park, whatever. In the second or 3rd communication you go for the date. If they are interested they will throw their #. If they are on the fence they'll agree to the date but will not toss the # and there will be a 50% chance they will flake on the day of the date.
KC

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear OneDay,
You never "ask" for dates...You tell them what you are going to do and suggest they might tag along.

 

[Moonlounger]

Hey Oneday, different types of women flock to different dating sites. Match usually has the professional ones who are looking for a serious relationship. POF is hit or miss, but usually the dregs, and OkCupid is a mix of the two but is free.

I've been online dating on/off in Los Angeles for a while and Tenacity is on the money. 10-15% is pretty dang good for us mere mortals, though there are dudes out there who can do better.

Scaramouche is on the money too. Assume the sale.

"Hey HB9, I'd like to talk further, let's meet at Snooty's Wine Bar on Friday at 8 pm" or whatever. Unless you have awesome text game, once you get the number, call them instead, use text messages only for addresses to where you will meet up.

Your primary directive with online dating is to meet women face to face as soon as possible. You can waste a ton of time emailing back and forth with women who have low interest, or are using you for attention.

There are so many additional factors at play for attraction that only come out in person, when you see women on an online dating site, they are just lifeless pixels until you meet them.



As for ADD, some of the good looking professional chicks get "online dating ADD" pretty fast. If I see a HB 8-9 chick who's just joined and is constantly online, I guarantee all the attention from chumps and dudes trying to get her number is putting her ego into overdrive. I swear some of them have such huge ridiculous standards from all this male attention, that they hold out for Mr. Perfect - and sometimes they hangout online for years. I remember this one gal was always either "currently online" or "online within 24 hours" every single day for 2 years - probably never gave guys a chance and always found some reason to drop them. She probably priced herself out of the market :crazy:

 

[MattR1984]

What site are you using man? Like said above, message alot. Hell, I did a copy paste email and sent it to like 30 or so a week who were hot and you'll always get 5 replies back or so and then talk to them a little. Depending how often they are replying is how I gauge the timing. I then shoot them my number (yeah I know sorta backwards from what we read on here, but if they text it does show interest) and I'll set up a dinner or something within the next day or so. I live in a very large college area/city and have been very successful with the sites.

 

[Flying Dutchman]

1.) Yes, no amount of "game" is going to give you a 100% shooting average. Most of this seduction shyt is just bullshyt, it's a form of giving a guy something to believe in (the tactic) because he really doesn't believe in himself worth a shyt which is why he doesn't have natural confidence. Besides ****y/Funny, I think all of the other seduction tactics are just straight bullshyt, and ****y/Funny I wouldn't even call a tactic btw, it's just being a person that can carry on an interesting conversation.

2.) All you can do is get to efficiency in the major areas, such as fixing your finances/career, getting a nice place, a nice car, fixing your looks, fixing the way you dress, and working on your personality/conversation skills with women to where you can spark up a conversation with ANYBODY and with women in particular you know how to speak to them in a way that seduces a consistent chunk of them. You will NEVER attract all of them, you most likely won't attract MOST of the women you talk to, what's key is to make sure you are converting a consistent percentage.

3.) The personality/conversation part takes practice, practice, practice and you will know when you are efficient in that area as you will be able to just DO IT without thinking about it.

4.) Yes, we are discussing in other threads how horrible the market is. Doing what I listed in number two is going to INCREASE your quantity of plates you are spinning and a.ss/dates you get. Now, finding a quality fvcking relationship is something TOTALLY different and something that I'm coming to terms doesn't even exist anymore.

I agree with Tenacity. Have been dating online myself now online for some months. And sended out a great variety of first contact messages.
I note that the response differs a lot.
When women tend to reply slow or come with a response that steers away from closing the deal; meeting up etc. there is a fair chance they are simply already with someone 'busy'.