New to forums and need help

[bigw]

Hey all, first off I'd like to say thanks for opening a gate to a better me

A bit of info about me:

I'm a bit overweight
I'm 17
And I'm hopeless when it comes to women, and conversation

I've been reading through many articles on how to improve conversation, but I can never seem to know good topics of conversation. By that I mean, I find it hard to pick up on things, and I can never really continue a conversation. I think I've found the problem, and that's not being comfortable - here is where the confidence issue comes in. After reading the quick tips on the main page, I feel a lot more confident than I did beforehand, but after talking to a few women and having awkward pauses often, I'm starting to slip back down into unconfidence.

My second problem, is that this girl I like, is very beautiful. We trust each other, and basically we're fairly good friends. She is also planning on breaking up with her current bf soon, because he cheated on her once and she reluctantly took him back. I know that I like her more than a friend, and as much as I want to tell her, I know that being patient is the key and I don't want to rush.

Please help me, I don't know why other people can do it and I can't

 

[michaelhctam]

Hey all, first off I'd like to say thanks for opening a gate to a better me

A bit of info about me:

I'm a bit overweight
I'm 17
And I'm hopeless when it comes to women, and conversation

I've been reading through many articles on how to improve conversation, but I can never seem to know good topics of conversation. By that I mean, I find it hard to pick up on things, and I can never really continue a conversation. I think I've found the problem, and that's not being comfortable - here is where the confidence issue comes in. After reading the quick tips on the main page, I feel a lot more confident than I did beforehand, but after talking to a few women and having awkward pauses often, I'm starting to slip back down into unconfidence.

My second problem, is that this girl I like, is very beautiful. We trust each other, and basically we're fairly good friends. She is also planning on breaking up with her current bf soon, because he cheated on her once and she reluctantly took him back. I know that I like her more than a friend, and as much as I want to tell her, I know that being patient is the key and I don't want to rush.

Please help me, I don't know why other people can do it and I can't

Hey welcome to the DJ Discussion Forum!

Your situation is fairly common man, and I am exactley like you (I am 17, overweight and at times a horrible conversationalist).

I can see alot of problems with your situation;

1. You are her friend, so she only sees you as her friend and not 'boy friend' material.

2. You are planning to get with her right after she breaks up with her BF which is a VERY BAD THING, because during this period directly after a breakup she can be very emotionally unstable if she goes out with you during this stage she can either be,

i. Only going out with you to stir jealousy with her ex.
ii. Wants a shoulder to cry on since you are her 'fairly good friend'

At the mean time, observe how she is breaking up with her BF....but DO NOT allow her to vomit her emotions onto if she does....this will IMMEDIATLY put you in her friendship catagory and asking her out later will just creep her out and dissapoint you with the ever typical, LJBF (Lets just be friends).

Its good that you are being patient, because rushing is very AFC.....IMHO I think you should increase your confidence levels and communication skills by practicing with more girls....but DO NOT sacrafice your own interests just to make other girls like you.

If you succeed in this, you will radiate and she will notice what a great catch you are and forget about her ex.

Keep her close man, but not TOO close....dont allow yourself to be an emotional tampon.

I will keep checking this thread to see how it goes.

Peace

 

[Austrian88]

michaelhctam wrote a good post, but:

I'm a bit overweight

why don't get rid of that bit? you'd feel better yourself, it's better for your health... and i don't know if it's improving your chances with girls because i was never overweight and i've been working out since i was 16 but i guess so - in a healthy body lives a healthy mind

 

[bigw]

Hey welcome to the DJ Discussion Forum!

Your situation is fairly common man, and I am exactley like you (I am 17, overweight and at times a horrible conversationalist).

I can see alot of problems with your situation;

1. You are her friend, so she only sees you as her friend and not 'boy friend' material.

2. You are planning to get with her right after she breaks up with her BF which is a VERY BAD THING, because during this period directly after a breakup she can be very emotionally unstable if she goes out with you during this stage she can either be,

i. Only going out with you to stir jealousy with her ex.
ii. Wants a shoulder to cry on since you are her 'fairly good friend'

At the mean time, observe how she is breaking up with her BF....but DO NOT allow her to vomit her emotions onto if she does....this will IMMEDIATLY put you in her friendship catagory and asking her out later will just creep her out and dissapoint you with the ever typical, LJBF (Lets just be friends).

Its good that you are being patient, because rushing is very AFC.....IMHO I think you should increase your confidence levels and communication skills by practicing with more girls....but DO NOT sacrafice your own interests just to make other girls like you.

Well thankyou for posting Very much appreciated. There's just a few things I'd like to enquire about:

Firstly I wasn't planning to try and get with her right after she breaks up with her boyfriend, I meant by that she's going to, and it will make it easier a few weeks or later to tell that I do like her.

And how do I not allow her to vomit her emotions? I'm confused as to what to do there.

Oh also, to Austrian88, I am trying

 

[The Shocker]

You're mostly screwed, considering you're overweight and in the friend zone.

Forget about this chick, improve your bod, and chase others.

 

[bigw]

I don't know about that actually, my instinct tells me I might have this chance. Because I've listened to her, I've picked up things that she'd want as presents (e.g. today I was talking to her, she mentioned she wished she knew where to find nelson mandela's biography, so I'll buy that )

But in reality, I'm not obese, I'm in the overweight range. She is a very nice person, and our personalities complement one another very well.

And don't worry about these things, since reading the don juan quick tips yesterday, my confidence and self-esteem has SOARED.

Oh and her break-up with her boyfriend won't be as emotional as I first thought, she's just leaving him because she thinks it's time that he should move on :S

 

[GaryUranga]

I don't know about that actually, my instinct tells me I might have this chance. Because I've listened to her, I've picked up things that she'd want as presents (e.g. today I was talking to her, she mentioned she wished she knew where to find nelson mandela's biography, so I'll buy that )

MISTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE (8)

dont do that for allahs's buhdah's and god's sake

 

[sexxyback]

read the bible and don't buy her any presents you knucklehead

 

[kgarvey]

I don't know about that actually, my instinct tells me I might have this chance. Because I've listened to her, I've picked up things that she'd want as presents (e.g. today I was talking to her, she mentioned she wished she knew where to find nelson mandela's biography, so I'll buy that )

But in reality, I'm not obese, I'm in the overweight range. She is a very nice person, and our personalities complement one another very well.

And don't worry about these things, since reading the don juan quick tips yesterday, my confidence and self-esteem has SOARED.

Oh and her break-up with her boyfriend won't be as emotional as I first thought, she's just leaving him because she thinks it's time that he should move on :S

yeah I wouldn't buy her the book and I'd read the bible rather than just the quick tip section oh and I suggest you read be a man by pook,you may think things are going well with the fact that you are good friends etc. but with this girl your in a tough position,not trying to destroy your confidence or anything I'm just saying

 

[michaelhctam]

MISTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE (8)

dont do that for allahs's buhdah's and god's sake

Yes, very, very, very BIG mistake, do NOT do it...I repeat do NOT do it.

You are making yourself look like a loser.

 

[The Shocker]

I don't know about that actually, my instinct tells me I might have this chance. Because I've listened to her, I've picked up things that she'd want as presents (e.g. today I was talking to her, she mentioned she wished she knew where to find nelson mandela's biography, so I'll buy that )

But in reality, I'm not obese, I'm in the overweight range. She is a very nice person, and our personalities complement one another very well.

And don't worry about these things, since reading the don juan quick tips yesterday, my confidence and self-esteem has SOARED.

Oh and her break-up with her boyfriend won't be as emotional as I first thought, she's just leaving him because she thinks it's time that he should move on :S

You're so f'ed.

 

[bigw]

Hmmm yeah I read the bible as soon as I posted that, so lol don't worry, I made up my mind before I got here that I'd stop liking her in a more-than-friend way. Nevermind Thanks for the help anyway