New relationship - having trust issues

[Bible_Belt]

One thing about other guys flirting with your woman - buying temperature is transferable. That's why salesmen work in teams, and it is typical for the sales manager to come in and close the deal after the salesman has done everything he can to raise buying temperature. It's the same with women. If she is aroused by other attention from other men, in all practicality it does not make too much difference to you, provided that you are the one who takes her home.

There is a guy that goes to this cafe that my wife and I frequent. He's a serial hugger with women. I just role my eyes at him...

I was thinking the same thing. It's hard to be jealous of someone so pathetic.

 

[vatoloco]

I really don't care if other guys flirt with my woman when I'm not around her or even check her out when she's out with me (hey, I do the same thing!) Hey, after all, if the woman is attractive (and the women I go out with always are ), of course other men are going to want to fvck her.

Just yesterday I was out with an HB9 friend of mine who is visiting from out of town. We went out for drinks and a motorcycle ride afterwards. At the bar, I literally saw jaws drop (from both men and women -- though she is better-looking than me [I'm about an 8] so more male jaws dropped.) They were fvcking us with their eyes and noticing this, I was just laughing inside!

Anyway, back to the OP. What would bother me though is if the guy realized I was with her and kept the flirting going. Very disrespectful. However, you must always be in control of your emotions. Also, while women LOVE attention from men, if the girl truly likes/loves you, this guy would be a non-issue. It's a cause of concern if the guy stays in her mind after the interaction, though...

If I were you, I'd diminish my availability a tad and see how it goes. I have a bad feeling about this...

 

[zekko]

Even does it to women in front of their husbands.

I think there is definitely a type of guy who gets off on flirting with women in front of their husbands/boyfriends.

Just yesterday I was out with an HB9 friend of mine who is visiting from out of town. We went out for drinks and a motorcycle ride afterwards. At the bar, I literally saw jaws drop

It's been awhile since I've had the HB9 friend to hang around with. I hate to say it, but it's quite an ego boost to go out and be seen with them, even if it is just as friends. Probably explains why so many guys tolerate being orbiters.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Almostthere,
Tell her you have it on good authority,that he has Herpes.

 

[hithard]

Next time he goes into hug her, jump in and hug him first. Tell him his hugs are as soft as a cloud, hold on for that bit to long then smell his hair.

Seriously if you have trust issues this early on then you will be in more trouble down the track. While I think that your gf bringing him up is a red flag. It's probably better to find out at the start of a relationship then a few years in. If you feel you have chosen right then this should be a non issue. And while the friend sounds like a gaming ****wad it's your girlfriend who needs to pass the test. You can't go on trying to shutdown every douchebag that gets too friendly with your girl. As someone else said she should know when to shut other guys down.

This guy has flown under the radar as a 'friend' though.
If you are that peeved about it then call him out on his $hit when he does it to your friends girl.

 

[squirrels]

Spotlight it.

Next time you catch him doing it...say something that lets him know you're on to him...not threatening, not at first, anyway. But lots of times that stuff will cease if he KNOWS that YOU know. "If you don't stop eyef*cking her, I'm gonna have to charge you". "You don't want that...I've pretty much wrecked it. It's a mess down there." I dunno...something funny, but that lets him know you're onto him.

What you have to "worry" about is if he's brazen enough to continue after that point.

 

[zekko]

Next time he goes into hug her, jump in and hug him first. Tell him his hugs are as soft as a cloud, hold on for that bit to long then smell his hair.

I've seen this type of advice given a lot on here and by pickup gurus for dealing with AMOGs. I don't know, it sounds kind of weird to me. I know guys that if you did this to them they would knock your head off. I would probably do the same, and I'm not even that violent.

the friend sounds like a gaming ****wad

Like certain guys on this site apparently.
Seriously, if the guy is such a dirtbag why would you want to spend any time with him? I'd just cut him out of my life.

 

[hithard]

I've seen this type of advice given a lot on here and by pickup gurus for dealing with AMOGs. I don't know, it sounds kind of weird to me. I know guys that if you did this to them they would knock your head off. I would probably do the same, and I'm not even that violent.

Yah dude don't do that, I was taking the piss

 

[zekko]

Yah dude don't do that, I was taking the piss

Okay, lol.
But you do hear this type of advice given quite a bit for dealing with AMOGs, both on this forum and by pickup gurus. I always wonder if anyone has actually tried it, and if it actually worked. I think if you do something like this you had better be sure you can kick the other guy's @ss. I also wonder what the reaction from the girl or girlfriend would be. Would she really find this behavior impressive?

 

[hithard]

Okay, lol.
But you do hear this type of advice given quite a bit for dealing with AMOGs, both on this forum and by pickup gurus. I always wonder if anyone has actually tried it, and if it actually worked. I think if you do something like this you had better be sure you can kick the other guy's @ss. I also wonder what the reaction from the girl or girlfriend would be. Would she really find this behavior impressive?

Lol sounds like you just signed up for a scientific study field report (SSFR). Let us know how it goes

 

[squirrels]

What you REALLY need to do is find him a girl of his own.

Set your girl on it...girls like that kind of matchmaker crap. She's gotta have some single friends who aren't hideous.

 

[Razor Sharp]

She is testing you every time she mentions him, gauging your reaction to determine if you are

1. Too jealous
2. Too wimpy
3. Too clueless

The way to keep her on the hook is to not fall into any of these categories. Any time she mentions him I'd show her what I call "mock jealousy".

Her: Remember when he said __________
Me: Hmm, I do remember him checking you out when he thought I wasn't looking. Dude betta watch out if he knows what's good for him (pound fist into other hand)

I do it in a funny way, not to be taken seriously. We laugh and the issue doesn't usually pop up again. She knows that I know, but I'm not really tripping about it. Test passed.

When you see the dude next time, shake his hand with a little extra force and clap him on the back. Ask him how he's doing and make small talk, but let your body language tell him that you are wise to him, and he better watch his step. Part of the reason he is doing this is because you have failed to instill a little healthy dose of fear and respect.

At the same time you don't need to be a d*ck to him. Try to befriend him and listen to squirrels:

What you REALLY need to do is find him a girl of his own.

Set your girl on it...girls like that kind of matchmaker crap. She's gotta have some single friends who aren't hideous.

PS - Whatever you do, DO NOT confront her on this. You will blow this whole thing way out of proportion - it's a bad idea.