Im up late typing this minutes after another daily fight while its still fresh. I need to know if im being Beta/too sensitive or is this girl doomed me too a blackhole of fighting
First of all, i wanna thank this forum, im 22 and i was single for the first time since Highschool basically this past January up until about a week ago. So for about 7 months, i was playing the field like you guys had taught me too. I had hooked up with about 12 girls from bars and parties, and ****ed 3 in that time, 2 of which were around for months, one of those girls is now my girlfriend.
Now weve been seeing eachother since May of this year. 5 Months. I took her to see 21 Jump Street "casually" and it sparked from there. Thru the summer we were hooking up, then having sex, and then taking walks on the beach, and then having sex on the beach, all before we were together. shes 20, im 22 so theres a slight gap in maturity. I found out that she had a "wild" phase when she went away to school for a year, at first i didnt believe it, but i found out her body count is 15+ and most of that was up at school. For a 20 year old i dont know if thats considered high really but i accepted it for what it is. It does still bother me though. she said she wanted commitment and i know she wont cheat cause shes strongly against it (parent thing).
I asked her and we started officially dating, not "facebook official" because we work together and we keep our business our business.
Ive been in relationships before (2 year, 1 year - 4 months) so i know what it was supposed to be like. We havent said i love you to eachother even though we have been dating since may and offically are commited. I think thats a good thing and dont have an issue with that cause love isnt a word you just throw around if you dont mean it. Our text conversations are painfully dull and lack substance alot of the time. And it pisses me off because we dont see eachother as much so its how we communicate, and its like pulling teeth when im trying to talk to her. I get the, "haha" or "
" responses when i know shes not busy and i know shes being lazy. Ive called her out on it and shes admitted to being a bad texter, but doesnt make any progress toward fixing it. She has no problem telling me she wants sex, or touching my **** whenever she can, but getting her to have a conversation about her emotions is impossible. Shes so ****ing stubborn she wont say sorry in a fight and she wont admit she was wrong until way after the fight is over and im beyong pissed off and or going to bed. Ill get the "Im sorry" text at 3am cause she realized she was wrong. She says shes about "actions" and not about "talk" but she only really has let me know when shes horny. dont get me wrong so suave, that part about her is awesome, cause i can pat her kitty down for 5 minutes whenever i want and she wants it more then i do when im done. The Issue also lies with her sex ettiquette when we get to the boning. its like that of a dude in a frat. She cums and she wants to stop. Ive already told her to cut that **** out.
She doesnt put any effort into any conversation we had, i call her beautiful, she ignores my text and changes the subject. Tonight i asked just for a picture, ignored my text and continued the convo. thats whatever, probably wasnt in the mood. She then tells me shes going to pay for a massage. Im thinking "WTF ARE YOU PAYING FOR THAT FOR? I HAVE HANDS!" and i call her out. she says.
"Ooooh you will do it?" -her
"Yeah if you send me a picture" -me
"Hmm, Looks like im scheduling one"-her
"The fact that you would get a massage from someone else perplexes me" -me
"I want a good one that lasts long!" -her
"So you ask..." -me
"Yeah and you want a picture -- So im going to schedule one, Im Passing out -- Sweet Dreams" - 4 texts rapid fire from her
^ This pissed me off for two reasons,
1. All i want to do is establish a fun relationship where i can get/give a massage. cause we all know where those lead to. Weve only been dating for a week and 3 days, but seeing eachother since May/June.
2. Im trying to get her to be fun and send me a picture, didnt say nude picture, didnt say sexy, just said a picture. and That task seems to be something simple, but she cant complete it and be fun. I send her stuff all the time to try to jump start that side of our relationship, usually of myself. But she sends nothing in return. Our relationship is so ****ing dull so i try and make it fun by giving her an open ended request, and she shuts it down.
I went off on her about that and explained why just like i did to you guys. My question is, after all this being said. Is this a dead end? am i being beta or am i thinking logically thinking that i might have a problem. and how do i fix it.
Sparknotes for the lazy ones
-Girlfriend sucks at texting
-Super Stubborn
-Less then perfect past
-Seeing her Since May
-Poor Sex Etiquette (already discussed)
-Wont comply with simple requests.
-Girlfriend has bad time articulating emotions
First of all, i wanna thank this forum, im 22 and i was single for the first time since Highschool basically this past January up until about a week ago. So for about 7 months, i was playing the field like you guys had taught me too. I had hooked up with about 12 girls from bars and parties, and ****ed 3 in that time, 2 of which were around for months, one of those girls is now my girlfriend.
Now weve been seeing eachother since May of this year. 5 Months. I took her to see 21 Jump Street "casually" and it sparked from there. Thru the summer we were hooking up, then having sex, and then taking walks on the beach, and then having sex on the beach, all before we were together. shes 20, im 22 so theres a slight gap in maturity. I found out that she had a "wild" phase when she went away to school for a year, at first i didnt believe it, but i found out her body count is 15+ and most of that was up at school. For a 20 year old i dont know if thats considered high really but i accepted it for what it is. It does still bother me though. she said she wanted commitment and i know she wont cheat cause shes strongly against it (parent thing).
I asked her and we started officially dating, not "facebook official" because we work together and we keep our business our business.
Ive been in relationships before (2 year, 1 year - 4 months) so i know what it was supposed to be like. We havent said i love you to eachother even though we have been dating since may and offically are commited. I think thats a good thing and dont have an issue with that cause love isnt a word you just throw around if you dont mean it. Our text conversations are painfully dull and lack substance alot of the time. And it pisses me off because we dont see eachother as much so its how we communicate, and its like pulling teeth when im trying to talk to her. I get the, "haha" or "
" responses when i know shes not busy and i know shes being lazy. Ive called her out on it and shes admitted to being a bad texter, but doesnt make any progress toward fixing it. She has no problem telling me she wants sex, or touching my **** whenever she can, but getting her to have a conversation about her emotions is impossible. Shes so ****ing stubborn she wont say sorry in a fight and she wont admit she was wrong until way after the fight is over and im beyong pissed off and or going to bed. Ill get the "Im sorry" text at 3am cause she realized she was wrong. She says shes about "actions" and not about "talk" but she only really has let me know when shes horny. dont get me wrong so suave, that part about her is awesome, cause i can pat her kitty down for 5 minutes whenever i want and she wants it more then i do when im done. The Issue also lies with her sex ettiquette when we get to the boning. its like that of a dude in a frat. She cums and she wants to stop. Ive already told her to cut that **** out. She doesnt put any effort into any conversation we had, i call her beautiful, she ignores my text and changes the subject. Tonight i asked just for a picture, ignored my text and continued the convo. thats whatever, probably wasnt in the mood. She then tells me shes going to pay for a massage. Im thinking "WTF ARE YOU PAYING FOR THAT FOR? I HAVE HANDS!" and i call her out. she says.
"Ooooh you will do it?" -her
"Yeah if you send me a picture" -me
"Hmm, Looks like im scheduling one"-her
"The fact that you would get a massage from someone else perplexes me" -me
"I want a good one that lasts long!" -her
"So you ask..." -me
"Yeah and you want a picture -- So im going to schedule one, Im Passing out -- Sweet Dreams" - 4 texts rapid fire from her
^ This pissed me off for two reasons,
1. All i want to do is establish a fun relationship where i can get/give a massage. cause we all know where those lead to. Weve only been dating for a week and 3 days, but seeing eachother since May/June.
2. Im trying to get her to be fun and send me a picture, didnt say nude picture, didnt say sexy, just said a picture. and That task seems to be something simple, but she cant complete it and be fun. I send her stuff all the time to try to jump start that side of our relationship, usually of myself. But she sends nothing in return. Our relationship is so ****ing dull so i try and make it fun by giving her an open ended request, and she shuts it down.
I went off on her about that and explained why just like i did to you guys. My question is, after all this being said. Is this a dead end? am i being beta or am i thinking logically thinking that i might have a problem. and how do i fix it.
Sparknotes for the lazy ones
-Girlfriend sucks at texting
-Super Stubborn
-Less then perfect past
-Seeing her Since May
-Poor Sex Etiquette (already discussed)
-Wont comply with simple requests.
-Girlfriend has bad time articulating emotions
