New member is needing some advice...help a brotha out!

[SynTheUnscathed]

Hey guys,

My name is Maxwell. I am 21, a pretty good looking black guy. Ironically, I look like the singer Maxwell, which leads to a little chaos and fun sometimes...

Anyways, I have always been a head turner, atleast for a guy, but for some reason I have always battled with my self image. I am pretty confident/****y upfront but I am pretty self-conscious.

I have always been...bulky...my build is like LL Cool J before he got massive RIPPED. Maybe a little thinner. Not overweight at all. Pretty good shape.

Well, to the point, about two years ago, I met this girl from a friend of the family. And this gurl is incredible. She is beautiful, one of the most beautiful girls I have ever seen, she is smart , funny, she plays BASS GUITAR....yes, I know, and she is perfect for me.

We went out with friends two nights in a row when she was staying with the friend of the family, then she went back.

Me, being the idiot I am..didn't get her number... YEAH I KNOW...Loser...

Anyways, two weeks ago I saw her again....and man, I dont know how it was possible but she is even more GORGEOUS then before. I mean the girl GLOWS man...incredible...

Well, I finally, this week I came upon her number and for the first time, called her yesterday...

We hit it off pretty well, and started talking again like it was 2 years ago.

I invited her to come to a friend's party Friday, but she had to work, BUT, she is having a Cookout Sunday, and she asked me to come.

So, what I am asking is, what to DO! I am green man. I may not look or act like it...but I really want to make this work....and I afraid to screw up.

I have the ****y/funny thing done pretty well, its my natural personality, but I am afraid I may lose it because she is just so right for me....

Any advice on what to wear, what to do ETC...would be great.


Thanks guys,

Maxwell

 

[Slickster]

All will be good if you lose the anxiety.

She may "seem" perfect for you but c'mon man she's just another chick. Eats, sleeps and sh!ts just like you and I.

Once you realize that, you'll be fine.

 

[SynTheUnscathed]

Originally posted by Slickster
All will be good if you lose the anxiety.

She may "seem" perfect for you but c'mon man she's just another chick. Eats, sleeps and sh!ts just like you and I.

Once you realize that, you'll be fine.

Hahah!...I like that. Your right....but, anyone else?

Thanks Slick,

 

[Christopher Tracy]

If I were you I would go to the cookout, but I would only stay for 30-45 mins. When you are their use your time wisely, and don't act too reserved and not to C&F.

The way my game works is to isolate the woman, I bring her into my world. Once she enters my world she will never want to leave.

Go their mingle for a little bit, and then make an excuse why you only can stay for a little bit. Tell her " since we didn't have much time to talk, we should hook up on..."

 

[SynTheUnscathed]

Oh...that is hard...

So what exactly will that do..have her yearning for more me?

What if she thinks I am not that interested?

Well, I guess setting up for next outting is cool.


How soon should I make the next "date"?

Should I bring a friend or come alone?

Thanks all for the help!

Peace,

Maxwell

 

[Ashlee Angel]

Call her up and say that you are coming and is it alright to bring a friend.

SynTheUnscathed said,
What if she thinks I am not that interested? -Good

SynTheUnscathed said,
So what exactly will that do..have her yearning for more me? - Ding Ding



SynTheUnscathed said,
How soon should I make the next "date"? - ASAP

Quit being so nervous and uptight, you should let everything flow. Do this and you will be fine.

 

[SynTheUnscathed]

mmm...ok

thanks guys...

 

[Psionic]

: Imagine shes a HB2

HB2 = HOT babe 2?

I've never seen one of these.

 

[wjh]

Originally posted by Psionic
HB2 = HOT babe 2?

I've never seen one of these.

hahahaha neither have I

 

[SynTheUnscathed]

Its amazing.

I posted this at another "Love" forum and got a COMPLETEY opposite consensus. Everyone said go and get to know her, stay and see where things go.

I am not a playa. I have no desire to take advantage of girls or bang alot of them. I just ain't that type of guy, sorry.

I date a girl with the prospect of them being a marriage mate. No other reason. I am a virgin and I am gonna wait until I get married to change that.

Believe me, if I wanted to, I could pull different girls all day long, but I don't want to.

So if you viewpoint is that is what I want, to do alot of girls, or trying to get this girl just to bang her, you are misdirected.

Thanks for you assistance, but your aim is a bit off.

Peace,

-Maxwell

 

[DJ_Dork]

THIS IS FUNNY.

 

[SynTheUnscathed]

Glad I could fill your day with joy and laughter.

 

[Best friends? NAY]

They are saying thats what your MIND SET needs to be I could get any chick anytime, not I NEED this PARTICULAR chick, you don't HAVE to go bang lots of chick, just know you could.

I would highly suggest you DON'T tell her how you feel, and how bad you want to date her.

Teese, be fun, be exiting, be mysterious.

I would like to know how many people on the other "Love" forum giving you that advice get chicks.

 

[SynTheUnscathed]

Yeah, you are right about that. I definitely will not tell her how I feel for a while until I am 100% sure the time is right.

But yeah, I will be mysterious funny and teasing, thats how I am naturally with girls anyways.

Thanks again,

-Maxwell

 

[VictorK]

Go to the cookout, enjoy yourself, play the whole c&f, and don't come off as looking 'needy' for her attention.

Also it wouldnt hurt to mingle with others at the cookout (not in the playa trying to score type of way) but just talk to people and have a great time. She will see those positive vibes you will be putting out to people and that will make her want to "see what your about" if she has any romantic interest in you.

The less needy you are, the better off you will be.

 

[SynTheUnscathed]

Amen to that.


Thanks, man.

-Maxwell

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Brotha man, your BEST move is to NOT go to the 'cookout' - tell her something came up but you would still like to do an activity with her (suggest one - "Do you want to go sky diving with me?" or something along those lines!) Pick a day and see what she says. Avoid large group events on a first date, especially if they are strangers to you!

Yoiu want to show her that you woulde like to be with her in a romantic way (as you truely see her), so you should isolate her and make your move without interference from others!! Don't act as her friend!!!! And for goodness sakes - dictate the agenda!!!

 

[wolfie]

Originally posted by SynTheUnscathed
Its amazing.

I posted this at another "Love" forum and got a COMPLETEY opposite consensus. Everyone said go and get to know her, stay and see where things go.

I am not a playa. I have no desire to take advantage of girls or bang alot of them. I just ain't that type of guy, sorry.

I date a girl with the prospect of them being a marriage mate. No other reason. I am a virgin and I am gonna wait until I get married to change that.

Believe me, if I wanted to, I could pull different girls all day long, but I don't want to.

So if you viewpoint is that is what I want, to do alot of girls, or trying to get this girl just to bang her, you are misdirected.

Thanks for you assistance, but your aim is a bit off.

Peace,

-Maxwell

You can see lots of girls at once without having sex with them. But if you concentrate on one at a time, you will subcommunicate and project neediness and insecurity to each of them. They will become aware that you are a man with no prospects other than them, and that'll turn them off.
You may not intend to 'tell her how u feel' about her until the time is right, but the fact that you would be dating only her and hanging around only her will tell her how you feel anyway.

 

[SynTheUnscathed]

Argh! Puerto Rico..I wish I would have read that before I went...

here's how it went down...

Wack! Totally whack!

Last night was definitely one of the wierdest nights of my life.

Keep in mind that I spoke on the phone with this girl 3 days ago before this for around an hour or more.

When I get there, I came with a friend of mine that was invited by this girl's sister, the only other guy I knew. I walk up to the house, and she is there with, her guy "friend", I will call him Guy from now on.

I walk up there, and she is like hey to my friend, and to me she is hey...what's your name again.

FREEZE!

Right there I was like, I am wasting my time, lets leave, in my mind, of course. BUT, the only thing that kept me there was her staring at me. Not, "the what are you doing here stare", but the, "wow you're cute stare". So, I said to myself, all is not lost. I shall stay.

BIG MISTAKE.

I get there, and Guy is hovering around her like flies on stank.

And he is there blocking me the ENTIRE evening.

We go on to play volleyball. And I try to make conversation with Guy to find out whats going on. What I can make out, oh yeah keep this in mind, I know we say looks don't really matter but...

1. All of her girl friends...ALL were staring the entire time. Even one the guys I met there said I had a fan club...her friend was talking about me to her, and She was smiling and giggling like you gurls do.

2.Guy, is no competition for me. I am older , taller, much better looking, funnier, easier to get along with and overall...no competition. On any other day I wouldn't even consider this guy competition for me but today is like any other day...no....

All night long she was giving me the look, inviting me to come talk to her, and when I would go over and chat..here comes Guy like a puppy clinging to her, pulling her away from me, in a "joking" kiddy manner. He was grabbing her hips...and he was majorly pissing me off.

I sat down and chatted with her uncle who is a friend of mine. And he was like "so hows it going" in terms of talking to his niece. And I was like, not too good, her little boyfriend keep blocking me. Who is that dude?

And he was like...oh him? That just her friend from childhood.

Huh?! I don't know about you, but I just couldn't see it. They looked like they were dating, and I would have left but she kept staring at me and striking up conversation with me...ARGH!

So frustrating. So I am just gonna call her at around 3pm and find out what the deal is and move on. I don't have time for games.


Thanks all,

Any comments/feedback?

-Maxwell

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

What happened is exactly what I expected!! It is a bad setting to try to get alone time and 'rap' with a chick when 10 of her friends are around! JUst go amd have fun but shpouldn't have expected much - do a follow thank you call and tell her that it is now your turn to entertain her!

You saw her two weeks ago and you talked for an hour 2 days ago and you are Mr. handsome and yet she didn't know your name?? You must have not been too impressive when you saw/spoke to her!!