New here! and seeking input

[Pondduck]

Hey everybody.

what are the thoughts on best practice one getting back together with an ex with a complicated relationship history between us? i wont type it all here unless requested as it is a HUGELY complex story. needless to say we keep coming back into each others lives, this is the third time after a ne year separation but shes being cagey

if she states "i cant see anything romantic happening" and that that rule is "heavily enforced" yet she still spends time with me and stuff....i feel like its mixed messages. no?

im 42, tall, 213lbs in great shape, have a good job with decent money and time off.

haha i dunno what else to put, im new to "game" and the concepts delivered here and am looking to learn

 

[Desdinova]

what are the thoughts on best practice one getting back together with an ex with a complicated relationship history between us?

There are tons of single women out there, and you've decided that you want to get back together with a chick who was a pain in the ass to be committed to.

Get out of the house and go meet some new people.

 

[Pondduck]

Thanksfor the honest advice man. i took it and went to a yoga class. hahah chatted up a few ladies after (need to work on my game and decondition my beta mentality). i guess what im asking here is why does my ex continue to come back around and text? its mixed signals and its ridiculous

 

[Billtx49]

i guess what im asking here is why does my ex continue to come back around and text? its mixed signals and its ridiculous

She's only using you as her transitional male attention buffer. There's nothing in it for you. Don't waste your time with her. When she's found a better source of it in her 'new' life, she's Gone.
Find a new girl whose actions at least come close to matching her words. This one is only giving you a major mindfvcking.....
It's Not the mark of a quality healthy female.

 

[Pondduck]

Billtx49: you are probably right. im just gonna back way off and let it go cold unless she makes some kind of serious effort (which i dont see happening)

ive been tide method texting with her, and her extreme delays in reply and short form replies indicate shes just looking for attention.

 

[sazc]

yep, like billtx49 said, you are comfortable to her and you are 'for right now' to her. as soon as she gets her own confidence up, she will move on

 

[Pondduck]

based on the info here ive removed easy access for me from my phone and facebook. should make things easier to start making distance.

 

[dude99]

Hey everybody.

what are the thoughts on best practice one getting back together with an ex with a complicated relationship history between us? i wont type it all here unless requested as it is a HUGELY complex story. needless to say we keep coming back into each others lives, this is the third time after a ne year separation but shes being cagey

if she states "i cant see anything romantic happening" and that that rule is "heavily enforced" yet she still spends time with me and stuff....i feel like its mixed messages. no?

im 42, tall, 213lbs in great shape, have a good job with decent money and time off.

haha i dunno what else to put, im new to "game" and the concepts delivered here and am looking to learn

Why do you want to complicate your life by bringing a complicated ex back into it?

If anything make her the lowest thing on your priority list and go meet new women.

 

[Reykhel]

Thanksfor the honest advice man. i took it and went to a yoga class. hahah chatted up a few ladies after (need to work on my game and decondition my beta mentality). i guess what im asking here is why does my ex continue to come back around and text? its mixed signals and its ridiculous

Women with high interest level will not give you mixed signals like that.

As the good old Doc would say:

There are two basic principles when it comes to women, 1. It's all about the interest level (which she indicates to you via her actions 2. bottom line her actions, never mind her words.

To answer your question about why she comes back around and text:

What does a cat do with a mouse before killing it?




She plays with it......

 

[The Duke]

Thanksfor the honest advice man. i took it and went to a yoga class. hahah chatted up a few ladies after (need to work on my game and decondition my beta mentality). i guess what im asking here is why does my ex continue to come back around and text? its mixed signals and its ridiculous

For validation. She'll continue to do so until she finds your replacement(s). Is she fuhking you right now?

The only woman worth having is one the makes it easy and clear cut. The rest are a waste of time.

 

[speed dawg]

Hey Pondduck, don't take it so hard, most every one of us have a story just like yours, that brought us to this site. But make no mistake, all those feelings fluttering around in your head, they are just that - YOUR feelings, not hers. If she really wanted you, she'd make it so easy to get your d*ck inside of her that you'd have to TRY to get away. She's going to talk the 'friends' mess, "love you but need space", "let's stay together but take 1,000 steps backward", etc. etc. Then eventually she'll go cold and that'll be when you know she's met another guy.

Don't contact her anymore. This will make her want you more (probably not enough to f*ck, but more just out of curiosity). Be satisfied with that, but DO NOT BREAK DOWN AND GO BACK TO HER. You have nothing to gain here.

The only way it's even SLIGHTLY acceptable to get back with an ex is after you've dated/nailed like 10 other women and a few years have gone by, and you've totally revamped your frame. Ie, you've become different people. Even then, probably not worth it.

 

[Pondduck]

thanks everybody! ive been withdrawing (a tactical retreat if you will) and have managed to have radio silence for a few days, the last day we spoke was me showing her i had gone to a concert she had always wanted us to goto with somebody else and she seemed pissed haha, so a nice little knife twist.

now, how did guys here manage to undo all the years of so called "beta conditioning"? im new to game and all this stuff it feels weird to be starting all this at 42. i just hate now that i notice that i keep switching to nice guy mode all the time around a woman i like or want. went to that concert with new woman crashed at her place after but i caught myself a few times during the hangout being beta, and it pissed me off.

one last thing, is there a list of what all the various abbreviations used on this site mean? hahah AFC and a few others i have run into on this site.

 

[speed dawg]

thanks everybody! ive been withdrawing (a tactical retreat if you will) and have managed to have radio silence for a few days, the last day we spoke was me showing her i had gone to a concert she had always wanted us to goto with somebody else and she seemed pissed haha, so a nice little knife twist.

now, how did guys here manage to undo all the years of so called "beta conditioning"? im new to game and all this stuff it feels weird to be starting all this at 42. i just hate now that i notice that i keep switching to nice guy mode all the time around a woman i like or want. went to that concert with new woman crashed at her place after but i caught myself a few times during the hangout being beta, and it pissed me off.

one last thing, is there a list of what all the various abbreviations used on this site mean? hahah AFC and a few others i have run into on this site.

AFC = Average Frustrated Chump
IL = Interest Level

You want to start the unconditioning process? Read the DJ Bible sticky post here:

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/don-juan-bible-new-members-please-read.186494/

That will explain things better than any of the posters here can.

 

[Pondduck]

Speed Dawg: Thanks, the reading has begun!