new guy with some questions on current situation

insomniac9

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hey guys, i'm new around here, just started reading the DJ bible but these are 2 recent/current situations that you could say are pending & could go either way, so i'd really appreciate any advice or guidance i can get, even if it's a link to a similar topic.

i feel that i should clarify this as it may be relevant to the topic, you'll notice both situations are in a gym setting, where i have good social status. this is due to a combination of things like how i look, how i train, how i am personality wise (knowledgeable, funny, friendly & fairly popular).


1st girl, i was sitting in the sauna one night after lifting & cardio, just so happens a buddy walks in, as we were chatting & joking to pass the time, this chick walks in, i don't pay attention to her at first.

then soon after my buddy steps out, our eyes met, smiles & she initiates convo based on what she over heard us talking about, she then asks me if i'm a model, i laugh & say no i'm not exactly built like a skinny pretty boy lol she says you have a very interesting look, basically complimenting me in a way that she tried to not be all over me.

so i asked back are you model you seem to know a lot about the industry, from her answer i learned she's a UCLA grad student major in feminist studies, i made a joke: so do you hate men ? she laughs & says no i said good with a grin on my face. i think she's jewish, about 5'5 or so, face is kinda cute but nothing great, good skin tone, skinny with nice big boobs (looked real too), was wearing a blue bikini with a towel wrapped around her waist. we had a good convo, i didn't ask for a number.. she did seem interested but i wasn't sure how to go about it.. this one i think she'll be a fun freak in bed, seems like if i bang her real good she'll be hooked. i've only seen her that one time but if i do run into her again i'd want to have the right game plan in mind.


the 2nd girl, i've had more interactions with her. first it was looks, then chit chatting in the gym.
she's 25, my height or a bit taller, russian, big blue eyes, cute face, big boobs, not fat but has a few extra pounds on her, i see her working out consistently & she's asked me about training & diet before, always compliments the progress i make. at first i thought she was just friendly & wasn't sure if she's into me but after a few things, i feel that she is attracted to me. examples:

one time she mentions to me she's coming in the morning tomorrow (was a friday), i ask why the switch she says i wanna go out tomorrow (implied message i figured out later is she wanted me to take her out).
another time i'm putting my phone & keys in one of the small lockers by the cardio equipment, she sneaks up behind me & tickles my back, i turn around & see her she says she was afraid my first reaction would be a punch, we both laughed.

another time, she asks me how to use the hack squat so i show her, and i point where she should feel it touching the muscles, quads, hams close to glutes, didn't mind one bit, she then says she wants a big butt like me lol (i have good lower body development, including glutes), she then thanked me for showing her the exercise & spotting i said you're welcome with the palm of my hand gently rubbing the middle of her upper back, she mirrors the body language with gentle rub on my delt.

one time she's telling me she's frustrated with her diet, i jokingly tell her don't be frustrated, take out it & punch me in the stomach lol she's like no you'll punch back, said nope i can take it, so reaches over & feels my abs tight, then tries to get a good squeeze of one of them lol

another thing she did one time, i was working out with a training partner & another buddy of ours came over to say hi, while i was talking to both of them, she passes by us, smiles at me & waves hello, so i wave back, the boys look to see who it was, then both look back at me & go like hmm niiice. i think she was aware of that whole chain reaction, but i'm the only guy in the gym she really talks to so i'm thinking she must've done that make me like her more or something.

i still haven't gotten a number from this one either, but then again i didn't try to either. i'm trying to be a challenge for her while i figure out how to best approach this.

this one i think can either be a FWB or relationship material. i don't want to do the dating thing, not something i can do at the moment & it really has never been my thing. my gut instinct is to be straight forward & tell it like it is but i don't know if this would be in my best interest..
 

Pimp-sicle

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Welcome to the board bro.

One thing you already realize and is the main reason for girls showing so much interest in you is to always put in work to look your best.

I'm a gym rat just like you and find it makes your job that much easier since you look better than 99% of the guys out there right off the bat physically.

Its great to be a challenge, your right in thinking that way; women love a confident man and since they are attracted to you they will assume you have several other women fighting after your attention.

However, there is also a point where you need to step up to the plate and make a move.

In a setting like work, the gym or even a bar your regularly frequent and see the same people from time to time you can take your time and build up anticipation and be a challenge that way.

Esp if the girl is pretty hot and is use to getting chumps/orbiters all over every night.

With the first girl you should've got her # or even suggested going to get some food post workout right on the spot; she made it more than obvious that she was attracted to you and now you haven't seen her since, so a lot of that initial attraction is lost since girls work off emotion and feeling. Not saying she wouldn't be receptive if you saw her again, but it would be starting from square one, when you had her ready to close in the sauna that day.

With the 2nd girl, its time to escalate to the next level. She see's you as a challenge, she's attracted to you and she WANTS YOU to fulfill your role as a man and ask her out.

When a woman compliments you and touches you it 100% means she is sexually attracted to you.

Lastly a lot of new guys think they need to follow a sequence when trying to get with a girl; meaning flirt, ask for her #, wait a couple days, then ask her out etc.

I'm much more of a fan of living in the moment and striking while the iron's hot. Next time your at the gym and see her, flirt with her, then ignore, the flirt some more and then go get some food or something right after the gym. Unless she truly can't, she will undoubtably say yes and then you can escalate from there.

You didn't really ask a question, but I'm assuming your not quiet sure if these girls are into you???

Well they def are and they're waiting for you to make a move, that window isn't open forever and believe me there are other guys trying to get with them as we speak.









PIMP
 

insomniac9

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Pimp-sicle said:
Welcome to the board bro.

One thing you already realize and is the main reason for girls showing so much interest in you is to always put in work to look your best.

I'm a gym rat just like you and find it makes your job that much easier since you look better than 99% of the guys out there right off the bat physically.

Its great to be a challenge, your right in thinking that way; women love a confident man and since they are attracted to you they will assume you have several other women fighting after your attention.

However, there is also a point where you need to step up to the plate and make a move.

In a setting like work, the gym or even a bar your regularly frequent and see the same people from time to time you can take your time and build up anticipation and be a challenge that way.

Esp if the girl is pretty hot and is use to getting chumps/orbiters all over every night.

With the first girl you should've got her # or even suggested going to get some food post workout right on the spot; she made it more than obvious that she was attracted to you and now you haven't seen her since, so a lot of that initial attraction is lost since girls work off emotion and feeling. Not saying she wouldn't be receptive if you saw her again, but it would be starting from square one, when you had her ready to close in the sauna that day.

With the 2nd girl, its time to escalate to the next level. She see's you as a challenge, she's attracted to you and she WANTS YOU to fulfill your role as a man and ask her out.

When a woman compliments you and touches you it 100% means she is sexually attracted to you.

Lastly a lot of new guys think they need to follow a sequence when trying to get with a girl; meaning flirt, ask for her #, wait a couple days, then ask her out etc.

I'm much more of a fan of living in the moment and striking while the iron's hot. Next time your at the gym and see her, flirt with her, then ignore, the flirt some more and then go get some food or something right after the gym. Unless she truly can't, she will undoubtably say yes and then you can escalate from there.

You didn't really ask a question, but I'm assuming your not quiet sure if these girls are into you???

Well they def are and they're waiting for you to make a move, that window isn't open forever and believe me there are other guys trying to get with them as we speak.









PIMP

thanks for the kind words bro, i'm glad to see there's someone here that shares my interest in the gym & being my best.

i got carried away describing the situations & forgot to ask my specific question; you got me there lol

but you still managed to answer most of what i was wondering about ! :up:

i was basically wondering where the interest levels were at with each one, & how i should proceed.

completely understood what you said about the 1st girl, so if i run into her another time, i'll have that in mind.

now for the 2nd girl, i understand & agree with you that it is time to escalate things.

like i said, at this point i can't & don't want to do the dating thing of taking her out, spending too much time & money on her.. what i would like to do with this one or any other girl at the moment is either:

1- make her into a friend w/ benefits or **** buddy or recurring booty call or whatever you want to call it

OR

2- if there's some way to quickly tell if she's quality gf or long term relationship material, i'd want to put her to the test & if she passes then i'm good with having a serious gf

OR

3- if it's at all possible, it would be ideal if i can somehow transition from option 1 to option 2 lol
 

insomniac9

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ok a little update

i hadn't seen the girl in a week or 2, so while i'm resting in between sets, she comes over to say hi, we chit chat for a bit.

little later she's doing a leg exercise & asks me to see if she's doing it right, i did so while playing around with her, telling her to show me the "mean" face & made her do one more rep when she wanted to give up.
after that we're talking a bit & casually throw in a "you should train legs with me one day". she jumps on the idea & asks when am i training legs, i said next monday, she's like you can tell what to do now, i said no, i don't give out my secrets that easily lol

that was tuesday, fast forward to sunday. i see her, chit chat for a bit, then she asks when am i training legs, i said tomorrow, she's like what time, said in the morning, like 11-11:30 lol she starts talking trying to coordinate, so i ask her do you have your phone on you, she says no in the car, so i said mine is in the locker, & i have a terrible memory, so memorize my number & text me your name so i have yours. she does so enuthisastically & i get the text as soon as she gets to her car it seems.

the next day, it was either i call her or she calls me to meet there. she doesn't call, so i wait till 11:15-11:20, call, rings, goes to voice mail, i don't leave a message, i don't get a call back & she doesn't show up.

what do you guys think is going on in her head & how should i proceed ?
 

Pimp-sicle

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casually throw in a "you should train legs with me one day". she jumps on the idea & asks when am i training legs, i said next monday
Why not just ask her out at this point?

Attraction is clearly present and setting up a date will help move you closer to banging her brains out since it will be you two meeting up outside of your normal environment.

she does so enuthisastically & i get the text as soon as she gets to her car it seems.
Another sign of high interest.

the next day, it was either i call her or she calls me to meet there. she doesn't call, so i wait till 11:15-11:20, call, rings, goes to voice mail, i don't leave a message, i don't get a call back & she doesn't show up.
As mentioned above, I would've set up an actual date; maybe something active and fun.

But the workout idea wasn't that bad.

However, why not set up the logistics right then and there.

I mean you already told her Monday @11:30. So before you left the gym I would've been like "lets meet here tmmrw at X time and we can hit legs."

Boom you don't have to worry about calling/texting etc etc.

Side note and a key one: Did you text her back after she text you her # initially?

Reason I ask is since you called and didn't leave a message, how in the hell would she have known who it was? haha

And I'm not going to try to make this a call vs text debate, because when a girl has high interest you could send a carrier pigeon with a note and she would reply.... but always set yourself up for the HIGHEST chance of success.

Most girls these day, shiat most people prefer text as their main form of communication.

Like I said above, set it up in person ESPECIALLY when you have the girl right in front of you and all her attention is on you.

However if you do have to use the phone and your simply confirming plans or its something real quick, send a text. Its less pressure, easy and takes two seconds for her to reply back to.

what do you guys think is going on in her head & how should i proceed
Who cares what's going on in her head.

The way you should proceed is to not say anything about it next time you see her.

She will likely either:

a) bring it up and say "hey what happened I thought we were going to workout legs on Monday? --- and that's a legitimate question if you never text her back your #. Most women don't answer #'s they don't know and with no message.

b) she won't say anything about it at all. In which case, just act like it never happened and flirt with her like normal.

However I would advise NOT to ask her to work out if she goes with option B. Make her wonder a bit, ramp up the flirting again and then ask again in a week or so.

-------------------

In the future, make things simple for yourself.

This is a case where you have a girl with high interest.

She clearly wants to spend time with you and likely bang you, but your making it harder than it needs to be.

Hell if you guys are both already at the gym, you guys can find a common body part that neither of you have hit in the past few days and workout together right on the spot, which I'm sure she would be enthusiastic about.

You got this bro, don't over think it.








PIMP
 

insomniac9

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Pimp-sicle said:
Why not just ask her out at this point?

Attraction is clearly present and setting up a date will help move you closer to banging her brains out since it will be you two meeting up outside of your normal environment.



Another sign of high interest.



As mentioned above, I would've set up an actual date; maybe something active and fun.

But the workout idea wasn't that bad.

However, why not set up the logistics right then and there.

I mean you already told her Monday @11:30. So before you left the gym I would've been like "lets meet here tmmrw at X time and we can hit legs."

Boom you don't have to worry about calling/texting etc etc.

Side note and a key one: Did you text her back after she text you her # initially?

Reason I ask is since you called and didn't leave a message, how in the hell would she have known who it was? haha

And I'm not going to try to make this a call vs text debate, because when a girl has high interest you could send a carrier pigeon with a note and she would reply.... but always set yourself up for the HIGHEST chance of success.

Most girls these day, shiat most people prefer text as their main form of communication.

Like I said above, set it up in person ESPECIALLY when you have the girl right in front of you and all her attention is on you.

However if you do have to use the phone and your simply confirming plans or its something real quick, send a text. Its less pressure, easy and takes two seconds for her to reply back to.



Who cares what's going on in her head.

The way you should proceed is to not say anything about it next time you see her.

She will likely either:

a) bring it up and say "hey what happened I thought we were going to workout legs on Monday? --- and that's a legitimate question if you never text her back your #. Most women don't answer #'s they don't know and with no message.

b) she won't say anything about it at all. In which case, just act like it never happened and flirt with her like normal.

However I would advise NOT to ask her to work out if she goes with option B. Make her wonder a bit, ramp up the flirting again and then ask again in a week or so.

-------------------

In the future, make things simple for yourself.

This is a case where you have a girl with high interest.

She clearly wants to spend time with you and likely bang you, but your making it harder than it needs to be.

Hell if you guys are both already at the gym, you guys can find a common body part that neither of you have hit in the past few days and workout together right on the spot, which I'm sure she would be enthusiastic about.

You got this bro, don't over think it.








PIMP

the thing is i don't want to date at this point, not specifically her but in general. i mean if it's necessary to go on one date to get things rolling that's fine but i don't want it as an ongoing thing.

what i had in mind is fvck buddy/friend with benefits first. within the time that goes i can get a feel if she's gf/LTR material, and if so i'll work my charm, get her to develop deeper feelings for me, & then she'll be the one trying to keep me as a bf/LTR.

i know it's a tricky approach, but i wouldn't come to the master DJ's with simple questions, you guys are too skilled for that :D

as for the text back, i deliberately gave her my number instead of asking for hers, i thought it's more alpha that way. when she memorized it & texted me like i said, i just naturally assumed she would have it saved under my name, so i didn't text back.

valid, well-taken points on texting & setting up time.

i wasn't worried what's going on in her per se, more wondering if she's trying to give me a shiat test or play hard to get. either way, it doesn't matter, i'll take your advice & won't mention it at all next time i see her. if she does ask i'll tease her about it, say something funny like she got scared or she missed out or whatever.

thank you for all your advice Pimp-sicle, i really appreciate it bro, will keep you updated on this one.
 

Pimp-sicle

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the thing is i don't want to date at this point, not specifically her but in general. i mean if it's necessary to go on one date to get things rolling that's fine but i don't want it as an ongoing thing.
Oh didn't realize this....

In that case you need to be more bold.

Most of the FB I have gotten over the past few years have come from me:

1) being extremely confident

2) engaging in sexual talk, flirt etc & seeing their reaction

I know it sounds rather simple, but when a girl is sexually attracted to you, they will agree to almost any terms, with the unsaid hope of changing your mind down the road. And as a man you realize this, so you just ride the wave until it crashes.

what i had in mind is fvck buddy/friend with benefits first. within the time that goes i can get a feel if she's gf/LTR material, and if so i'll work my charm, get her to develop deeper feelings for me, & then she'll be the one trying to keep me as a bf/LTR.
Your kinda saying two different things now.

The best relationships always start with sex first.

That's when the guy is in control of the frame and the girl is fulfilling her role of following.

A girl (unless she is a major slvt) will always show you that she is into you by spreading her legs for you. That's the ultimate display of submission on her part.

So I will ask you:

a) are you casually touching her yet?

b) does she touch you back?

as for the text back, i deliberately gave her my number instead of asking for hers, i thought it's more alpha that way.
Your wrong, although in your case its so obvious she wants you that it worked anyways.

The best way to go about things is to go TAKE what you want. Giving a girl your number is the "safe route" to avoid direct rejection if the girl isn't interested.

when she memorized it & texted me like i said, i just naturally assumed she would have it saved under my name, so i didn't text back.
I think it was a mistake not to text her back. Just something extremely simple like "cool."

I go out a lot. In the past when I would # close a girl I met at a party, a bar, out and about, wait a few days, then text. Guess what? I would get a high percentage of flakes, and for a while I couldn't figure out why. Even when I would spend 20-30 minutes making out and groping some of these girls!

Then I realized that girls are very in the moment and have the attention span of a 5 year old on a sugar high.

So the minor change I made has done wonders. I started # closing, but immediately texting them right as I got their #. The difference was like night & day.

My point being you have to learn to take advantage when there's an opening, because that door will close if you don't.

if she does ask i'll tease her about it, say something funny like she got scared or she missed out or whatever.
My take is she didn't save your # in her phone when you didn't text back. And since you called, rather than text and didn't leave a message, it was easy for her to be like "who's that?"

You have the right mindset. Just keep going like nothing happened and next time ideally set up the workout date right then and there at the gym. If you can't for whatever reason text her: "Hey X, lets hit legs Monday @11:30am, you game?" --- she will obviously know its you this way.

thank you for all your advice Pimp-sicle, i really appreciate it bro, will keep you updated on this one.
For sure bro, you got potential, I want you to bang this byatch! haha










PIMP
 

insomniac9

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Pimp-sicle said:
I know it sounds rather simple, but when a girl is sexually attracted to you, they will agree to almost any terms, with the unsaid hope of changing your mind down the road. And as a man you realize this, so you just ride the wave until it crashes.
Pimp-sicle said:
Your kinda saying two different things now.
i was thinking exactly what you said in bold bro, you just put it in better words than i did. i'm aware of this & if i like her enough & see she's worth it, i'll let her think she was successful in changing my mind & keeping me as BF/LTR.


Pimp-sicle said:
The best relationships always start with sex first.

That's when the guy is in control of the frame and the girl is fulfilling her role of following.

A girl (unless she is a major slvt) will always show you that she is into you by spreading her legs for you. That's the ultimate display of submission on her part.
well i must say, this part is incredibly enlightening & it makes me happy to realize things work very well this way.


Pimp-sicle said:
So I will ask you:

a) are you casually touching her yet?

b) does she touch you back?
Yes sir, i mentioned these in my 1st post/wall of text lol

insomniac9 said:
another time i'm putting my phone & keys in one of the small lockers by the cardio equipment, she sneaks up behind me & tickles my back, i turn around & see her she says she was afraid my first reaction would be a punch, we both laughed.

another time, she asks me how to use the hack squat so i show her, and i point where she should feel it touching the muscles, quads, hams close to glutes, didn't mind one bit, she then says she wants a big butt like me lol (i have good lower body development, including glutes), she then thanked me for showing her the exercise & spotting i said you're welcome with the palm of my hand gently rubbing the middle of her upper back, she mirrors the body language with gentle rub on my delt.

one time she's telling me she's frustrated with her diet, i jokingly tell her don't be frustrated, take out it & punch me in the stomach lol she's like no you'll punch back, said nope i can take it, so reaches over & feels my abs tight, then tries to get a good squeeze of one of them lol


Pimp-sicle said:
Your wrong, although in your case its so obvious she wants you that it worked anyways.

The best way to go about things is to go TAKE what you want. Giving a girl your number is the "safe route" to avoid direct rejection if the girl isn't interested.
Pimp-sicle said:
I think it was a mistake not to text her back. Just something extremely simple like "cool."

I go out a lot. In the past when I would # close a girl I met at a party, a bar, out and about, wait a few days, then text. Guess what? I would get a high percentage of flakes, and for a while I couldn't figure out why. Even when I would spend 20-30 minutes making out and groping some of these girls!

Then I realized that girls are very in the moment and have the attention span of a 5 year old on a sugar high.

So the minor change I made has done wonders. I started # closing, but immediately texting them right as I got their #. The difference was like night & day.

My point being you have to learn to take advantage when there's an opening, because that door will close if you don't.
Pimp-sicle said:
My take is she didn't save your # in her phone when you didn't text back. And since you called, rather than text and didn't leave a message, it was easy for her to be like "who's that?"

You have the right mindset. Just keep going like nothing happened and next time ideally set up the workout date right then and there at the gym. If you can't for whatever reason text her: "Hey X, lets hit legs Monday @11:30am, you game?" --- she will obviously know its you this way.

my man Pimp-sicle, you were spot on once again.

ran into her last night, on her way out & me on my way into the gym around 10:15 pm (late for me, i'm usually there around 9).

she does what you described in option A in your previous post & brings up the missed workout, she's like did you come on monday, i say yeah i called you ! she goes no you didn't, then it hits me that you were right & my best bet on the spot was to play a combination of very surprised, confused & forgetful.

the forgetful part being key here since i'd told her previously something that's funny yet true: "i tell everyone that knows me this: i can't remember things & i can't smell things, my nose only works for breathing & i forget often, but otherwise i'm perfect lol"

then i go like, are you sure ? i could've sworn i called you around 11:15, she says maybe you called someone else lol (to me this is good, tells me she has the idea that i have other women-options besides her, but i didn't comment on it, let her think what she wants about that for now), then she said i didn't even get a text back.

i said i'm sorry about forgetting & miscommunication, she's like don't worry about it, then she says you got a hair cut, you look good, said thank you, smile etc. then wrap up the brief convo cause we were literally standing by the door.


now, thinking about that..

well played on her part, she made her point without being too annoying or upset or anything that would bother me.

i kinda feel bad about that mistake or miscommunication or whatever you wanna call it.. not because i missed a chance to make more bold moves on the girl, but for something within me..

you see, i pride myself on being a man of my word, one thing i learned from my dad as to how you earn people's respect & trust. so when the situation made me seem like i flaked on her or ignored her after i was the one to suggest the workout, it bothers me, it's about myself before it's about her. i made a conscious effort not to be too apologetic, just a quick polite sorry, but i'm not sure if i should say something next time, & what would be right to say then.


Pimp-sicle said:
Oh didn't realize this....

In that case you need to be more bold.

Most of the FB I have gotten over the past few years have come from me:

1) being extremely confident

2) engaging in sexual talk, flirt etc & seeing their reaction
now that i know i'm "in" so to speak, i'm not hesitant to be more bold & sexually forward.
i was thinking of doing one of 2 things to escalate things

- either a workout when the gym is not that crowded, we get our own corner doing our thing, then touching & caressing are expected, legs, butt, whatever.. i figured i'd go by feel from there. hell i figured if she's that turned on, i wouldn't rule out full on PDA's like making out or even more ;)

- or i figured i'd suggest meeting somewhere more private, maybe her place or whatever, just to talk about her approach to training & diet (which i do feel she needs better direction with), but this would be a good way to offer some constructive critique mixed in with info & some playful negs. at one point i'll be pointing out body parts so there will be touching/caressing involved, & being that it's more private setting, i imagine this is a higher possibility this would end up with us having sex.

what do you think bro ?
 

Pimp-sicle

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if i like her enough & see she's worth it, i'll let her think she was successful in changing my mind & keeping me as BF/LTR.
Cool bro, in that case ignore the points in my previous post I made about how to turn an interested girl into a fuvk buddy.

At this point she has high interest and is very comfortable with you, she will likely agree to any type of plans you make...

then she said i didn't even get a text back.
If we weed thru the woman speak, she likely knows you called. Many interested women will flake, play dumb when they guy they've had their eye on for a while FINALLY does try and go out with them.

Its a power play; the girl wants you to play on her terms.

The chump guy would've panicked, called again, texted etc.

The confident man will leave it alone and wait for the girl to come back to him.

You did well there.

i said i'm sorry about forgetting & miscommunication, she's like don't worry about it, then she says you got a hair cut, you look good, said thank you, smile etc. then wrap up the brief convo cause we were literally standing by the door.
In the future, don't use the phrase "I'm sorry" unless you truly did something horrific. Its a statement of submission and if you think about it... why are you apologizing? You guys made plans, she was aware of the workout on Monday and played dumb like most girls do in the beginning when they want to be chased.

Its better to say things like "hmm that's weird" in reference to her questioning the miscommunication.

well played on her part, she made her point without being too annoying or upset or anything that would bother me.
Yes... she knows E-X-A-C-T-L-Y what she's doing....haha

i kinda feel bad about that mistake or miscommunication or whatever you wanna call it.. not because i missed a chance to make more bold moves on the girl, but for something within me..
Don't....

If you change anything within yourself it should be to start making your inner game catch up to your physique.

In other words as a man, you go take what you want and have no apologies for it.

A confident man isn't afraid to tell a girl to give him her #.

A confident man communicates clearly and leaves no room for misinterpretation.

But a confident man also doesn't blame himself for what is just "part of the game." --- brush it off your solid in this situation and your right, her imagination is your best friend and will fill in all the gaps of what and who you might have been with and it usually includes other women.

so when the situation made me seem like i flaked on her or ignored her after i was the one to suggest the workout, it bothers me, it's about myself before it's about her.
Totally hear you bro and I know where your coming from. If this was your one and only shot with this chick I would understand you feeling bothered... but it is not and if anything your more of a challenge now and she's more interested.

Seducing women is often counter-intutive because they don't really run off logic. I could tell you some stories bro! LOL

but i'm not sure if i should say something next time, & what would be right to say then.
If your talking about the miscommunication, definitely DON'T. Drop it, you acknowledged and its in the past.

now that i know i'm "in" so to speak, i'm not hesitant to be more bold & sexually forward.
Bro you should always think your "in." Fuvk maybe I'm too arrogant for my own good, but I'll get prolonged eye contact from a chick at a party and immediately think "she wants me." LOL

-either a workout when the gym is not that crowded, we get our own corner doing our thing, then touching & caressing are expected, legs, butt, whatever.. i figured i'd go by feel from there. hell i figured if she's that turned on, i wouldn't rule out full on PDA's like making out or even more ;)
I'm not really a fan of this idea.

I'm pretty sure your pretty hardcore about lifting like me.

When I'm there, I'm all business, there to pound the weights and completely in my zone.

If you do an impromptu workout, in a sense your starting to let her distract you from the main reason your there. As subtle as it is, setting up a time to meet her & the gym (even though your still working out together in either scenario) makes a difference IMO.

- or i figured i'd suggest meeting somewhere more private, maybe her place or whatever, just to talk about her approach to training & diet (which i do feel she needs better direction with), but this would be a good way to offer some constructive critique mixed in with info & some playful negs. at one point i'll be pointing out body parts so there will be touching/caressing involved, & being that it's more private setting, i imagine this is a higher possibility this would end up with us having sex.
This is by FAR the better option. And like I said in the beginning of this post, she is on your jock & super attracted that she will likely agree to almost anything you suggest.

I'd say something like "we can def workout together, but as you know great bodies are built in the kitchen. Lets set up a time to go over your training & diet to take you to the next level."

This always leads to openings to get physical if your at her place or yours.

------------------------------------------------


Just make sure to keep your frame, don't go out of your way to make this date happen since you feel some guilt from the miscommunication. Keep doing EXACTLY what your doing and she will keep chasing.

If you suddenly shift and try to "make up" for your perceived mistake, she will lose attraction.

Strong men take what they want and don't apologize for things that aren't a big deal.












PIMP
 

insomniac9

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time for a little update, you're gonna like this one Pimp-sicle ;)

after running into her that day, no texting or calling, just like you said. last night, just stepped into the gym, heading over to the T-bar to get started, i run into a buddy. during a quick chit chat with him, i notice her on the hack squat machine close by but she's mid-set & doesn't notice me, so i move such that my back is to her, i'm facing my buddy still but closer to where she is. so when turn to go to my machine, it seems like i'm surprised to see her.

hello's out of the way, she says she likes my new hair cut (2nd time btw), & that says it makes me look younger (bish, are you trying to neg me ? lol), so super cool i go, thank you, i mean it's good for a man to look a little more mature, but change is fun too.

then i turn the convo about training, a little neg about the wrong approach she's taking, wasting her effort, she concedes & asks what she's supposed to do, i say you need a lecture & i can't put that into 5 mins lol

she's like what are the main points, i go train right & eat right, but for details we need to sit down & go over them. she goes well if you'd return my text thank you very much (visibly upset/frustrated, which i found funny), then she says this gem, you're the first guy ever that doesn't return my texts, so with a big grin on my face i say, what can i tell you i'm a busy guy.

then she asks me about a bf% measure she had, i explain there's different methods some accurate some not so much, then i go on to say some stuff to demonstrate higher value/status, like how my advice is superior to that of the average gym trainer, & that i have no financial interest but if i'm gonna advice to someone, they better listen, basically telling her that me giving her advice is a privilege.
within that convo, she repeats text me like 2-3 times, one time she asks if i still have her number, said yes, last time she asked me to text her i said ok i will, we'll do thursday or friday, i'll let you know (figured let her stay on her toes in anticipation, while i buy myself some time to consult with my man Pimp-sicle :up: ). Plan is to set up a time to do option B that we were discussing last time.
oh & btw towards the end of convo, she reaches for a feel of my abs (2nd time she's done this), she's like flex them, i take a step back & teasingly say, again with a grin/smile on my face, not now, while thinking she can't keep her hands off me haha am i right ? :D
 

Pimp-sicle

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heading over to the T-bar to get started, i run into a buddy. during a quick chit chat with him, i notice her on the hack squat machine close by
That's weird, the hack squat & T-bar are right next to each other @the gym I go to! haha

she goes well if you'd return my text thank you very much (visibly upset/frustrated, which i found funny)
But more in a sarcastic manner right? Otherwise that would be weird.

And yeah bro, see the whole philosophy to my game is to do the shiat that girls do to us; flip the script and it gets them all flustered and they start chasing you.

then she says this gem, you're the first guy ever that doesn't return my texts, so with a big grin on my face i say, what can i tell you i'm a busy guy.
Keep a mental note of these comments as you hear more. On one hand this is a good sign because she's showing that she's totally into you.

On the flip side, this could be a warning sign of an entitled, princess type girl, who ALWAYS end up being more of a head-ache than they are worth, but since they are usually HAWT, guys ignore the warning signs. Its too soon to tell with her, but keep a note of it.

within that convo, she repeats text me like 2-3 times, one time she asks if i still have her number, said yes, last time she asked me to text her i said ok i will, we'll do thursday or friday, i'll let you know (figured let her stay on her toes in anticipation, while i buy myself some time to consult with my man Pimp-sicle :up: ).
I appreciate the respect and fact that you wanted to check in with me first, but when you have a girl on the hook like this in the future, set up the date, esp when she's right in front of you.

This will minimize the chance of her flaking on you, having an excuse or some other obstacle that can come up.

If I were you, I would text her today/tonight and pick one of the days and set up a time and place to meet up.

If you feel like she has strong attraction, simply set it up at your place and she will happily accept. If you feel like she won't come over or invite you to her place, set it up at a neutral location. If she's down to come over or invite you over, it should be a done deal.

BTW, did she say she was free on both Thurs & Friday? Or did you simply suggest those days without knowing if she's free?

she reaches for a feel of my abs (2nd time she's done this), she's like flex them, i take a step back & teasingly say, again with a grin/smile on my face, not now, while thinking she can't keep her hands off me haha am i right ? :D

She's definitely has strong sexual attraction; that's obvious.

The only thing that worries me about this is usually girls who are very forward are usually head-cases. In which case you should simply enjoy the awesome sex and keep it at just that.

At this point this is all food for thought.

Text her, set up the date and lets see what she says.










PIMP
 

insomniac9

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Pimp-sicle said:
That's weird, the hack squat & T-bar are right next to each other @the gym I go to! haha
if i wasn't in so cal & you in pimpslyvania, we might have been members of the same gym ! lol


Pimp-sicle said:
But more in a sarcastic manner right? Otherwise that would be weird.
to be honest, i can't say if i caught a sarcastic hint in there, i just found it funny, thinking to myself if this is what she's saying to my face as to how much of a challenge i am to her, i bet there's a lot more of that going on in her head lol

Pimp-sicle said:
And yeah bro, see the whole philosophy to my game is to do the shiat that girls do to us; flip the script and it gets them all flustered and they start chasing you.
your philosophy is very smart & it clearly applies very well in real life situations, like the one i just described.


Pimp-sicle said:
Keep a mental note of these comments as you hear more. On one hand this is a good sign because she's showing that she's totally into you.

On the flip side, this could be a warning sign of an entitled, princess type girl, who ALWAYS end up being more of a head-ache than they are worth, but since they are usually HAWT, guys ignore the warning signs. Its too soon to tell with her, but keep a note of it.
will do on keeping mental notes.

Pimp-sicle said:
I appreciate the respect and fact that you wanted to check in with me first, but when you have a girl on the hook like this in the future, set up the date, esp when she's right in front of you.

This will minimize the chance of her flaking on you, having an excuse or some other obstacle that can come up.

If I were you, I would text her today/tonight and pick one of the days and set up a time and place to meet up.

If you feel like she has strong attraction, simply set it up at your place and she will happily accept. If you feel like she won't come over or invite you to her place, set it up at a neutral location. If she's down to come over or invite you over, it should be a done deal.
i initially wanted to set it up at her place, in part to keep more mystery about myself, & in part so that if shes turns out to be a clinger or some other sort of crazy, she doesn't know where i live lol
srs though with the warning signs you brought to my attention, it's definitely gotta be her place.

Pimp-sicle said:
BTW, did she say she was free on both Thurs & Friday? Or did you simply suggest those days without knowing if she's free?
she didn't say, i just threw out the days i figured i could do it, she only said text me. i'm only doing it when it's convenient for me time wise, if not, she's the one missing out.


Pimp-sicle said:
She's definitely has strong sexual attraction; that's obvious.

The only thing that worries me about this is usually girls who are very forward are usually head-cases. In which case you should simply enjoy the awesome sex and keep it at just that.

At this point this is all food for thought.

Text her, set up the date and lets see what she says.





PIMP
i hear you bro, you think cultural background plays into this sort of behavior with women ? cause she's russian. in any case, i'm gonna text her tonight & see.
 

insomniac9

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big props to Pimp-sicle for his advice on this situation, & for checking up on my progress with this one, really appreciate it brother.

as for the chick, i was hoping to update with a lay report, but it didn't workout time wise. i forgot to text a day before, so i ended up texting her friday around 11, she replies around 1:30, & then takes some time to reply to following texts, so i do the same when i notice the delayed reply pattern.

anyways, at one point she says she's skipping the gym that day or whatever, i think she was trying to steer me in the way of taking her out, which of course is not my plan. so i say i'd hoped to set something up earlier cause i don't have enough time now, then i said another i guess i can stop by, there's a few things you'll need to take notes of (regarding diet/training) & i'll show you some things you can do at home. she replies Yes with a smiley face (i'm guessing she understands i'll be giving her the D then lol), then says she's busy this week, so let's talk the week after, i said i have no time this week either, so yeah, hit me up after that to remind me.

since then no contact, i.e. no texting & no running into her at the gym (but she did mention she's gonna be coming during the day this week). the plan was to wait & see what happens this week.
 
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