fishdent2
New Member
Hey Guys
This is my first post. I've been checking out the forums once in a while and thought i'd join in. Great Material here by the way.
Anyways, a little background about myself before I present my situation. I'm in my 30's and have found myself regressing to AFC characteristics as I was DJ'ish in my 20's (wasn't aware and didn't know the definition till now).
As a highschooler was voted most shy guy and actually turned down promdates. Had awkward fitting close, no style, ...the list goes on. So after entering college and letting go of the shyness i did a 180 and was carefree about how i approached women and life. Grew the long hair, dark complexion from surfing, and just went for everything in life. Got alot of girls to date and so on. But had a little too much fun and ended up dropping out of college, and had personal and finacial problems to deal with.
So after a few years of hard work and getting back on track my life is finally getting back in order and i'm currently fiinishing up a graduate program with a few nice job offers lined up.
BUT, my dating life has definitely suffered during this time. Have had the occasional date (very occasional). I think like 2 or 3 in the last 10 years. They all started nice but ended up with me dropping the ball and not being able to seal the deal when opportunities have presented themselves very clearly.
Long story short, i'm the nice guy every one asks "when are you gonna get a girl?" Very extrovert around friends and women (not attracted to) but introvert when I'm interested romantically.
Anyways, this is my situation. Just met this girl who is my brother's wife's second cousin at my nieces b-day party. She's 27 and i'm 33. The mother-in-laws introduced us. Great looking girl and very social. Great initial conversation. No awkward pauses, eqaul questioning and answering for both of us, and so on. Good body posture and gesturing, etc.. Ended up knowing mutual people, and she happened to take classes on thursdays in the same building where i'm at school. So happens she even lives a few blocks from me as well. Anyways, my AFC ways came shining through when we broke apart for the cake ceremony and I never approached her again at the party to get the phone number. Even had one more chance when we were both holding babies and conversing again. Totally got ribbed by my friends and family for it. And as usual was kicking my self in the ass.
Two weeks later on a thursday when I new she was in the building but didn't know what room she was in i for some reason just put my business card in my pocket just in case i saw her( what were the chances, right?).
Well my friends the minute after when I walked down the hallway the elevator opens and there she was crossing my path. Struck up another like 20 minute conversation and she seemed very enthused. So what did i do? I gave her my stupid business card instead of asking for her phone number. :crazy:
Needless to say two more weeks went by and she didn't call. So I took it upon myself to find out what room she had classes in and strategically placed myself in the hallway before class started. "Bumped into her" and talked a little then invited her to lunch. She said yes with no hesitation. Went to lunch for almost two hours with more good converstaion and she invited me a few places. Anyways she had an appointment and i walk her back to her car. Finally asked her for the digits and got them with no hesitation either. She even asked for me to call her right then to get the caller id so she could program the number in. Went for the hug and got a full body press . Then she ended it with "i'll be expecting your call!":cheer:
So now i'm on cloud nine and trying to play it cool. But its been soooo long you know. Called her i think 2 days later on a Saturday and left a freindly message. So I don't get a call back till monday, she saying her parents were down for the weekend, which I happened to miss. Call her later that evening and got voice mail. Any ways, it ends up being phone tag for a week and a half. Never got her to pick up once on her end and the phone call frequency on my end was not too frequent to seem pesky. But her return phone calls allways took a couple of days. I played it cool and gave her room even though I thought it was rude.
But Now I'm confused. I just can't get in contact with her. Is she playing games? Did her interest go south? or was she even interested at all? etc, etc..... now i'm doubting myself. So I text her on the thursday she has class in my building to grab some lunch and i get an imediate response to meet her after class.
We meet and I make a date, but it seemed a chore by now. And the entusiasm level has definitely decreased. The date was mediocre and it ended with a hug and "call me sometime." So i make a last attempt at a phone converation to no avail and its been a month with no return phone call.
Chance have it I'm at a convention in town yesterday and we happen to cross paths in a doorway for a split second. She was talking to friends and I see her first but she does'nt make eye contact. I say nothing (grumpy from a hang over and not in the mood to make friendly) as we pass and out of my periphery I see her do a double take over her shoulder and her friends go quiet. Then poof, gone. Guess it would be awkward for her to call my attention. Since i she gave me the brush off and all? right?
So it seems like I'm always running into this girl and all my female friends say it's meant to be and pursue her because its what she wants.... blah,blah. My gut and guy friends say next her because all the signs are too clear. And I got off easy because at least shes nice enough to cut me off instead of playing me in my friendly, nice, AFC state.
Sorry this turned into a novel guys,but any input would be great.
Thanks,
New Guy
Fishdent
This is my first post. I've been checking out the forums once in a while and thought i'd join in. Great Material here by the way.
Anyways, a little background about myself before I present my situation. I'm in my 30's and have found myself regressing to AFC characteristics as I was DJ'ish in my 20's (wasn't aware and didn't know the definition till now).
As a highschooler was voted most shy guy and actually turned down promdates. Had awkward fitting close, no style, ...the list goes on. So after entering college and letting go of the shyness i did a 180 and was carefree about how i approached women and life. Grew the long hair, dark complexion from surfing, and just went for everything in life. Got alot of girls to date and so on. But had a little too much fun and ended up dropping out of college, and had personal and finacial problems to deal with.
So after a few years of hard work and getting back on track my life is finally getting back in order and i'm currently fiinishing up a graduate program with a few nice job offers lined up.
BUT, my dating life has definitely suffered during this time. Have had the occasional date (very occasional). I think like 2 or 3 in the last 10 years. They all started nice but ended up with me dropping the ball and not being able to seal the deal when opportunities have presented themselves very clearly.
Long story short, i'm the nice guy every one asks "when are you gonna get a girl?" Very extrovert around friends and women (not attracted to) but introvert when I'm interested romantically.
Anyways, this is my situation. Just met this girl who is my brother's wife's second cousin at my nieces b-day party. She's 27 and i'm 33. The mother-in-laws introduced us. Great looking girl and very social. Great initial conversation. No awkward pauses, eqaul questioning and answering for both of us, and so on. Good body posture and gesturing, etc.. Ended up knowing mutual people, and she happened to take classes on thursdays in the same building where i'm at school. So happens she even lives a few blocks from me as well. Anyways, my AFC ways came shining through when we broke apart for the cake ceremony and I never approached her again at the party to get the phone number. Even had one more chance when we were both holding babies and conversing again. Totally got ribbed by my friends and family for it.
And as usual was kicking my self in the ass. Two weeks later on a thursday when I new she was in the building but didn't know what room she was in i for some reason just put my business card in my pocket just in case i saw her( what were the chances, right?).
Well my friends the minute after when I walked down the hallway the elevator opens and there she was crossing my path. Struck up another like 20 minute conversation and she seemed very enthused. So what did i do? I gave her my stupid business card instead of asking for her phone number. :crazy:
Needless to say two more weeks went by and she didn't call. So I took it upon myself to find out what room she had classes in and strategically placed myself in the hallway before class started. "Bumped into her" and talked a little then invited her to lunch. She said yes with no hesitation. Went to lunch for almost two hours with more good converstaion and she invited me a few places. Anyways she had an appointment and i walk her back to her car. Finally asked her for the digits and got them with no hesitation either. She even asked for me to call her right then to get the caller id so she could program the number in. Went for the hug and got a full body press
. Then she ended it with "i'll be expecting your call!":cheer: So now i'm on cloud nine and trying to play it cool. But its been soooo long you know. Called her i think 2 days later on a Saturday and left a freindly message. So I don't get a call back till monday, she saying her parents were down for the weekend, which I happened to miss. Call her later that evening and got voice mail. Any ways, it ends up being phone tag for a week and a half. Never got her to pick up once on her end and the phone call frequency on my end was not too frequent to seem pesky. But her return phone calls allways took a couple of days. I played it cool and gave her room even though I thought it was rude.
But Now I'm confused. I just can't get in contact with her. Is she playing games? Did her interest go south? or was she even interested at all? etc, etc..... now i'm doubting myself. So I text her on the thursday she has class in my building to grab some lunch and i get an imediate response to meet her after class.
We meet and I make a date, but it seemed a chore by now. And the entusiasm level has definitely decreased. The date was mediocre and it ended with a hug and "call me sometime." So i make a last attempt at a phone converation to no avail and its been a month with no return phone call.
Chance have it I'm at a convention in town yesterday and we happen to cross paths in a doorway for a split second. She was talking to friends and I see her first but she does'nt make eye contact. I say nothing (grumpy from a hang over and not in the mood to make friendly) as we pass and out of my periphery I see her do a double take over her shoulder and her friends go quiet. Then poof, gone. Guess it would be awkward for her to call my attention. Since i she gave me the brush off and all? right?
So it seems like I'm always running into this girl and all my female friends say it's meant to be and pursue her because its what she wants.... blah,blah. My gut and guy friends say next her because all the signs are too clear. And I got off easy because at least shes nice enough to cut me off instead of playing me in my friendly, nice, AFC state.
Sorry this turned into a novel guys,but any input would be great.
Thanks,
New Guy
Fishdent