New guy from europe seeks advice

[Mr. Bean]

Hi folks, I would like to introduce myself as a new member. I’m a 40 year old AFC from Holland (Europe). I’m just recently getting back into the swing of things after the ending of a long term relationship. I guess you could say that I was a AFC all my life. Most of the girls picked me up instead of the other way around. I’ve been searching the internet these last few months and discovered this site. I have also been getting newsletters from uncle david (guess you all heard of him). I am slowly beginning to understand what I’ve been doing wrong all my life and I guess it wont be easy to change that overnight. I’ve noticed that most peoples experiences are focused on the American (meat) market. It’s a lot different here in Europe. I read a lot about getting digits and phone numbers, but that’s not really done over here. I also read stuff like singles bars. They don’t have much of those either, at least not where I live. I’m kind of hoping some of you have had some experience in this part of the world and I would be glad to get some pointers. Hope to be hearing from you ;-)

Greetings Mr. Bean

 

[Tao of Steve]

Welcome aboard! My first friendly suggestion, is to change the name you are using. Mr. Bean is a low status, a-sexual, charachter that we are supposed to laugh at.

To begin to overcome our socially imposed AFC charachter, we have to begin by changing our inner thoughts and self perception. It's better to refer to yourself with a dynamic, assertive, manly, sexual, and strong nickname.

 

[WestCoaster]

Advice: Don't date Americans

I'm the resident American-woman basher on this board, but since you're in Europe you're a step ahead of the game. Don't date American women. European women are much better than the sleazy, overly-tatooed, chain-smoking, bi-chy, mean American women. Stick with the women in your country or better yet, take a trip to Scandinavia. Much better women there.

DJ techniques are world-wide and can work anywhere. Read the DJ Bible and as important read the Hall of Fame posts and articles off the front page. The majority of the people here look to the message board for advice. Don't do it. This is a good place to vent or now and then get suggestions. But the real knowledge of this site is in the articles, not this board. Most people don't realize this.

If you follow a lot of the DJ Bible and read the articles you'll soon absorb the philosophies of DJism and will be on your way!

Just stay away from U.S. women, even if they're visiting. Not good creatures at all, and that is where this board comes in handy. Go to the discussion site and you'll see all these men complaining about how they're being used by U.S. women.

 

[Mr. Bean]

Thanks for the advice guys ;-) About the nickname...your probably right. I honestly didn't give it much thought. I thought it was kinda funny ;-P
I'll stay clear of the american chicks. Haven't bumped into any recently ;-)
Do any of you have any tips on working clubs or bars? That's pretty much the mating ground here in Holland. I find it hard talking to chicks because most of them are noisy and have loud music. Any tips on that?
Another problem I'm facing is that since I've been out of the circuit so long, most of my buddy's are either married or in a LTR. It's hard for me to kick myself in the a** and go out solo. Any of you in the same situation?
Thanks for the responses guys.

Greetings Mr. Bean

 

[gentleman193]

Tell us more about Scandinavian women

Westcoaster,

Can you tellus more about the Scandinavian women? I am thinking of going to school in Denmark or doing business in Sweden (I am half Swedish). There is a lot to like about these countries. I'm also not a fan of American women, at all. I would love to hear your experience with the women of these countries.

-- Gentleman

 

[Mr. Bean]

Haven't been to scandinavia myself, but a friend of mine has. The people there are warm and friendly and he also had a taste of those scandinavian babes. If you like nice hot blond babes then that's the place to be ;-) I know for a fact that the french and Italian lady killers rave a lot about them, but that's all I can tell you.

Mr. Bean

 

[> Gucci Boy]

Hey Mr., as you know I'm from Germany and I have to agree with you: European chicks are way different than American girls!

I have lived in the US for a year and I know what I'm talkin' about... it's much easier to sleep with an American women (especially if you are from Europe), but most of them are not prepared for a deep and true relationship! European girls, on the other hand, are far more stuck-up and arrogant... therefore it's not as easy to talk to them, but on the long run they know how to treat a man (at least some of them)...

...but even though they are different, some rules always count! You have to be self-confident and the more you talk to girls/women the more experiences you'll make and the better you'll get! It's that simple!

Concerning your questions about nightclubs and bars: If you want to we could meet each other (and maybe some friends of mine) and go out on the hunt together! Of course, I'm much younger than you... but I think it would be fun! This is just a thought tho... so don't panic ;-) First of all we gotta see how far we live away from each other and if we would get along... just think about!

 

[Skel]

Mr. Bean I suggest you read the DJ Bible and then ask your questions. There are also "excercises" in the DJ Bible which I suggest you do.

 

[Genghis Juan]

I don't think there is that much of a difference in difficulty in bedding a woman from Europe or America. If you are foreign, you will have a certain appeal that will lend you more action. When I was in Italy, it helped that I spoke some Italian with an American accent. It would be similar if an Italian man came to the States; his Italian accent would give him a certain appeal.

I think the DJ rules are universal, doesn't matter what country you're in.

 

[Austin Allegro]

'I read a lot about getting digits and phone numbers, but that’s not really done over here.'

You need to 'reframe' this. If it's not done, then use this to your advantage by doing it! It's not so common here in the UK either, but I've not had many refusals. One girl even said she found it really flattering that I asked for her number, as it rarely happens - and she was an HB7 so she wasn't ugly or anything.

 

[Mr. Bean]

Thanks for the tip Austin. I was wondering...did you chat her up first? or did you walk up cold and ask for her digits? I tried it once and the chick just looked at me and said....Huh??... as if I was some kind of stalker or something and walked away. That kind of kept me from trying that approach again. But maybe I have to give it some more thought.

Thanks Gucci, I might just take you up on your offer. I'll keep in touch

Greetings Mr. Bean

 

[Hanuman]

Ok guys...

I'm from Sweden so I'll tell you what it's like here. All the ladies are tall blondes with huge breasts and only wear polarbearskins that end just below their ass. They are all nymphomaniacs and I have to fight them off with a stick...

No seriously, when I have had foreign friends visit me in Sweden they all went on and on about how hot the Swedish ladies are and they would never see so many HB10's back home... well beaty is in the eye of the beholder.
I tend to go for the foreign girls rather often, I seldom find the blondes very attractive. Girls from the middle east are usually my cup of tea. Yeah I know, you get images of hairy women wrapped in black cloth so you can only see their eyes - this is not always the case - think arabian nights, theese chicks are hot! So what I am saying is the grass is always greener on the other side, what is rare and different is what you usually want.
I'm not talking rare and different as in 200 pounds overweight girls who can grow a moustache... but you know what I mean. If I generally see blondes all day and ocassionally see a really hot darkhaired Iranian girl, well I WANT her.

Anyways I think discussing cultural differences and how girls behave in other countries can be interesting on a purely academic level. When it comes to pickups and DJ'ing the main rules are the same, the pillars on wich sucessfull DJ'ing rests...

Above all - be confident - do not act confident - BE CONFIDENT!

Work on this before you work on anything else. When you get this part everything else is EASY.

It doesn't really matter if you generally ask a girl for their number where you live or not. Worrying about stuff like that is like worrying about what tie to wear to work before you even got the job! When you get the job things will come naturally.
Work on being confident and comfortable with who you are and all else will come naturally - you will laugh about worrying about if you should ask a girl for her number or go about it some other way - theese are small small issues in the big picture...

Anyways, my tip to you Mr.Bean - is clubbing really your scene if you are 40 years old? I'm not saying it isn't as I only been to Holland once and didn't think to much about the average clubbing age - all I can say is that if you go clubbing in Sweden when you are 40 years old it's easy to come across as desperate. If you think you can pull it off - that's great go for it - but ask yourself if there isn't other ways to meet women that would suit you better?

I say get involved in stuff you have been thinking about during your long term relationship that you never got to do. I'm thinking evening classes in something that interests you - and something where you would meet girls.
I for one always wanted to learn how to dance but none of my buddys wanted to join me. I enlisted alone to some evening classes in couple dances (you were not required to bring a partner) and soon made friends with lots of girls and dated one of them.
Enjoy your new won freedom, see it as an oppurtunity to do all the stuff you wanted but didn't get a chance, go out and meet people (women)!
I bet you there is a million places to meet women you didn't even think about. Start studying again, enlist yourself to some university with evening classes. Do your homework at the library instead of home alone. Instead of renting a movie and watching it alone at home call a friend and go to the cinema - go out to some crowded relaxed place to eat afterwards. If you are reading a good book stop reading it at home, go to a favourite café and read it. If you are into any kind of sport be sure to make new friends while practcing it - if you play golf ask the two ladies in front of you if you could join them and make it a threesome (yeah they actually call it that!). If you play tennis be a little early to the court you booked, then ask the ladies playing before you if they would like to make it a 2on2 game as you and your friend are tired of playing each other all the time... Whenever you go to stores be sure to speak to the people who work there (even guys) - ask for help and be polite. Practice your people skills and make new friends EVERYWHERE.

What I am trying to say is there is a million ways to meet women and most of them are fun even if you don't meet someone. The clubbing thing is alot of pressure as it's often obvious why a single guy your age is out clubbing - also the approach is harder as it's obvious what your objective is.
Now again, if you feel like clubbing go ahead and do it, don't let me stop you. It's the general idea, do stuff you like and meet new people in the process. Become friends with men aswell, become a part of their social circle, they have women friends =)

You are a free man and a world of infinite oppourtunities is at your feet - embrace the situation and be sure to make the most of your life.

/Hanuman * out!

 

[Austin Allegro]

Originally posted by Mr. Bean
Thanks for the tip Austin. I was wondering...did you chat her up first? or did you walk up cold and ask for her digits? I tried it once and the chick just looked at me and said....Huh??... as if I was some kind of stalker or something and walked away. That kind of kept me from trying that approach again. But maybe I have to give it some more thought.

Thanks Gucci, I might just take you up on your offer. I'll keep in touch

Greetings Mr. Bean

I was sent to a training course for work, and during the lunch break we all stood around in the common room staring into space, because English people tend not to chat to strangers very much.

I saw the HB7 and I just smiled at her, she smiled back and I started asking her how she was finding the course.

We then just talked for a while, got on well, so I asked for her number. Called her up a few days later, but it turned out she is moving abroad to work for a few months. Set up a date and 'made out' so it's all good. That's when she told me about being really flattered etc.

 

[Mr. Bean]

Thanks for the advice Hanuman. Your right, I need to be more outgoing. It’s very easy to get comfortable when your in a LTR, to the point that it’s hard to learn an old dog new tricks. But it’s slowly getting through this thick skull of mine
I have been making some progress these past few weeks. There were 2 big holidays, Koninginnedag (birthday of our queen) and Liberation day (5th of may). The streets were packed with people and live bands everywhere. I’ve had quite a few nice conversations with girls. Too bad 1 girl already had a boy friend and a couple of others were under age. I didn’t want to wind up like R. Kelly, so I didn’t go there
But just being able to walk up and chat is a big confidence boost. The stuff here and the newsletters from David D. have been a big help.

Mr. Bean

 

[Hanuman]

Originally posted by Mr. Bean
I have been making some progress these past few weeks. There were 2 big holidays, Koninginnedag (birthday of our queen) and Liberation day (5th of may). The streets were packed with people and live bands everywhere. I’ve had quite a few nice conversations with girls. Too bad 1 girl already had a boy friend and a couple of others were under age. I didn’t want to wind up like R. Kelly, so I didn’t go there

Hey, thats great! I don't think there will be any problems for you - just keep at it and talk to new people and soon you will find yourself with several girls to choose among...

It seems you got it under control...

G'luck!

//Hanuman