New Girlfriend Is Having Trust Issues, Need Advice

[soulforge]

Ok been seeing this chick around 3 months, things are developing into a relationship..

Last week my best friend came over to my house, with his long term girlfriend.. My friends girlfriend must have brushed her hair in my bathroom, after using the toilet..

Anyhow my girlfriend found 2 long hairs near the sink, and at the weekend questioned me about it..

I told her straight, that I had no idea how they got there.. yesterday I rang my best friend and asked him to ask his girlfriend if she had brushed her hair.. and she confirmed it.

I sent a short text to my girlfriend today, and explained to her, about my mates girlfriend brushing her hair in bathroom..

But she seems distant and I feel like she doesn't trust me... she has been cheated on twice in the past..


How do I deal with this situation.. ???

 

[soulforge]

Yeh I feel like, maybe I should not have given her any explanation... but I have already.. so what can I do now?

I feel like I have explained the situation, but I should just back the fuk up now..

 

[Pogba]

^ what he said.

Also keep in mind to look for the origin of this issue. It's either she has low self esteem or is feeling quilt from cheating her self.

 

[soulforge]

I feel like abit of a muppet, by giving her an explanation..Originally I did just laugh it off..

And I changed the subject.. but I was pretty baffled about how the hair had got there myself.. the only reason I could think of was, my friends girlfriend using the bathroom..

So I thought maybe I should just give her a quick and simple explanation!!!

 

[soulforge]

Now that I have given a simple explanation, I feel like maybe she will use this against me.. or she will be too scared to see me again, as she has been cheated on before..


I,m thinking maybe I should just back off... and see how she responds

 

[soulforge]

I don't think she is a nut case.. but a strong possibility this is a power play..

Just not sure how to proceed forward.. I gave her an explanation, I kept it short and sweet..

I don't feel like I need to discuss it any further, and if she still has a problem with it, then I suppose I will have to put my foot down right??

 

[soulforge]

Yes. Do not tolerate her abuse. You tell her this:
"Girlfriend, I told you what happened. We're done talking about this. It's not my fault if you don't believe me. If you can't trust me then this won't work out."

This wil put her in her place. Do it over a dinner or something, where you have her full attention. Display dominant and assertive body language.
-Sit up straight with good posture
-Point body towards her
-Eye contact the whole time
-Keep your arms and legs open and displace a lot of space
-Make every action you do sure of yourself. Don't second guess anything

Im hoping you take my advice. Be careful with this one.

My gut instinct is warning me a little with this one.. I,m sure she is playing games, or is making power moves...


I told her the the truth, just once plain and simple.. I don't need to explain myself again and again..

If she has trust issues or does not trust me, then that is not my fault.. I,m not going to bend over backwards to explain myself

 

[soulforge]

What if she wants to end it, because she does not trust me? How do I deal with that?

 

[Pogba]

Leave with dignity at her slight suggestion.
Snap out of it ! You did NOTHING wrong , man up and tell her to stop playing or bolt.

 

[soulforge]

She is acting distant and replying back with very short replies.. fuk I told this girl the truth and now she is playing fking games!!

If she has some kind of problem, then why not just say what is up?

Why act all distant and shiit... how to proceed fellas?

 

[The Duke]

I told her the the truth, just once plain and simple.. I don't need to explain myself again and again..

If she has trust issues or does not trust me, then that is not my fault.. I,m not going to bend over backwards to explain myself

Good job, this is all you can do. Its no fair to you that she is painting you in the same light as the guys before that did her wrong. My guess is, she's pretty insecure by nature and you will see more examples of this.

Some girls will try and flip this on you like it sounds like she is doing so you over react and are the bad guy. She knows she did wrong for accusing so she'll try to illicit a reaction out of you to make her self feel better.

Just stay calm, tell her there is nothing more to talk about and stop feeding her hamster wheel. Tell her if she can't act right you will ignore her and do it. If she insists, then suggest you two go your own way!

And she isn't going to tell you she "has some sort of problem"......she's a chic, they aren't rational. You are thinking too much like how a guy would handle a situation. If she was rational, all fingers would point back at her and we know chics just can't take that.

 

[Roni_88]

Isnt this the same one that would disappear days from you and then reach out to you all of a sudden ?,, if so,, there is preceding actions already .. that its not going well.

 

[soulforge]

Isnt this the same one that would disappear days from you and then reach out to you all of a sudden ?,, if so,, there is preceding actions already .. that its not going well.

Yes this is her.. read my previous post about her.. she did reach out all of a sudden, but she tried to twist it around & make it look like it was me who ignored her...

i texted her last night.. i texted her this morning & also this afternoon..

if she makes no effort to text me tomorrow, then do i need to drop this girl asap??

 

[Roni_88]

she is manipulative from what you tell me from that situation and this one.. looking always for reasons to put you down.. also your overthinking doesnt help either,,, are you also spinning plates ? .. you have to also not let things get to you,, call her out once if you have to.. but dont let her actions get to you all the time. Remember you are not an emotional ***** you are a man.

 

[soulforge]

this is how i think things will go in the next few days...

01. either she will end it with me in the next few days, claiming she does not trust me?

02. or she will ignore me, act distant with me, but will not clearly tell me what her problem is?

i texted her last night, this morning & this afternoon..

if she makes no effort to contact me tomorrow, should i call her out & tell her she is playing games & i will not tolerate her bulll**** behaviour?

 

[blind_one]

I'm bold

i texted her last night, this morning & this afternoon..
Enough is enough bro

if she makes no effort to contact me tomorrowor ever, should i call her out & tell her she is playing games & i will not tolerate her bulll**** behaviour?

Actions not word ! I would wait for her move assuming she will not make one, and go on with my life. From what you explained she might be a nutcase/control freak, so there is that.

 

[Konada]

There are so many red flags pointing to this girl being a manipulative control freak. Please do your sanity favour and drop this girl. Run my friend, fast.

 

[soulforge]

So guys I got one text message off her today, and it simply said 'AFTERNOON'


Normaly she would have alot more to say than that.. she is either angry about something or is playing games..

I gave her an explanation for the hairs in my bathroom, and have not done anything wrong..

If I text her back with a simple afternoon, then I am only just playing along with the game.. and promoting her bad behaviour..

She needs to know that I will not put up with games or bullshiit from her..

I am thinking of sending her this message..


'is there a problem, you seem to have an issue about something.. if there is, then you need to say so, as I,m not a mind reader nor am I willing to put up with or play silly games back and forth'


playing along with her games seems like a complete waste of time. I think she needs to see that I will put my foot down... and if she decides to manipulate the situation, or walk away... then fuk her.. I will oblige and move the fuk on

 

[soulforge]

The text she sent me simply said... afternoon x

how the fuk am I supposed to respond to that?

 

[soulforge]

You keep going full beta. Break up with her.

How do you mean I keep going beta? is that a wrong message to send her?