better yet ima let pook tell you this was written 6yrs ago tested through time
Love! Love! Love! It is Nature's drug, a high, that so many become addicted to and must always be feeling 'love' at some part of their lives.
A Nice Guy appears to protest this post.
Ignore him, gentlemen. Women following this romanticized path means that the CHASE becomes the focus rather than the COMPANY of the lover. No wonder challenge works so well! No wonder once a woman gets what she wants, she goes looking for something else!
The more a man is a challenge, the more a woman becomes 'romanticized'. This is especially true for beautiful women. The curse of beauty (and even that of Don Juans) is that you fear that you are settling when you could have gotten better. When a guy is a challenge to the beautiful woman (and let's face it, these beautiful women have flocks of guys trying to be 'romantic' towards them in the AFC sense), it sparks the woman's romanticism. She must have her challenge and eat it too.
The Nice Guy yells out, "Pook, there is a matter we must discuss!"
Go to your platonic girlfriends to talk about your 'love', Nice Guy! Now where were we?
We know of the romanticism that Nice Guys embrace (for the definition of an AFC is a man who loves like a woman). But Don Juans suffer from the romanticism as well. "This website has made me soooo picky!"
The problem is not pickiness but idealism. Just like beautiful women, Don Juans feel that they are 'settling' if they get a chick. Remember your Nice Guy days when you only wanted a good decent woman to love you? Now you want a Helen of Troy! How far we've come!
The Nice Guy hops up on the Arcadian stage. "No more, Monsieur Pook! We must talk!"
Very well, Mr. Nice Guy! What is this business that you must interrupt my post for?
"I think you know it, Pook. You insulted my girl in the park last night!"
You are mistaken, sir. I made love to your girl in the park last night. She asked me to meet her there. I have her note somewhere. But if someone is saying something to the contrary, by God, it is a slander!
"You damned Pook! You would drag down a woman's reputation to hide your cowardice! But I am calling you out!"
You're calling me out? Then take lessons from your girl, as she too called me out.
"You libertine!" The Nice Guy takes out a white glove and slaps Pook. "I DEMAND SATISFACTION.
You demand satisfaction but your girl also demanded satisfaction. I cannot spend my time satisfying the demands of your circle.
"You blackguard!"
I assure you, Mr. Nice Guy, that your girl is the epitome of her sex. In fact, her chief renown is for a readiness that keeps her in a state of tropical humidity as would grow orchids in her drawers in January. Your assault against me is not for my faults but for your own.
"You have no morals!"
That is not true! You are the immoral one, thinking yourself a sexual Pharisee! We are called to be Human not statues.
The Cancer
And so floats the Nice Guy with his hot air romanticism. When he sees the women going for the guys of testosterone (jerks) and running to the hills to avoid his nonsense, he pops.
But what of the Don Juans racing to obtain their 'ideal' woman? After a decade or two, this is the result (
http://www.sosuave.com/vBulletin/sho...ghlight=mature). Noticing their lost youth, what are these guys to do?
And what about the guys who DO get their idealism? Many of these guys marry absolutely gorgeous women. But gorgeous women are a standard lay. The idealism doesn't last and the divorce follows.
With love being defined as the PURSIT of the the lover (rather than the COMPANY of the lover), no wonder divorces are widespread! Rousseau is best known for his civilization of 'consent'. Thus, marriage to people now is not some sacred bond but a legal article of consent, something to be torn asunder whenever wished.
And anyone who are aware of marriages that last know that 'romanticism' has nothing to do with it. Marriage requires work. Go to an older married couple and spew out your 'romanticism' and 'the one' love to them and watch them laugh.
Women flock to Romeo and Juliet to watch the 'star-crossed' lovers defy society. Yet, romanticism is exactly what the play condemns!
Romeo was in love with Rosalind. But when Juliet appears, any thoughts of Rosalind are long gone. Romeo is Don Juanish at first. He kinos her. He kisses her. And he leaves her. So where is the tragedy?
"Because their love was denied!" chant the women.
I am sorry ladies. The truth is that Romeo is a whiny boy. Romeo and Juliet would have turned into a sweet Much Ado About Nothing if Romeo had the spine of Claudio. It is Romeo's lack of being a man that causes the tragedy in the play.
The tragedy in Romeo and Juliet is not love denied. It is Romeo refusing to be a Man. He kills himself at his first chance and so kills Juliet.
The Cure
Have you ever seen a very traditional Jewish wedding? The man and woman have never talked to each other. They do not even know if they like each other. Yet, they marry and stay married for life.
"Pook, that is because they can't divorce."
True, but by conventional romanticism, shouldn't the marriage eventually blow up? Yet, they are happy!
The point is that romanticism has no value in creating a lasting marriage. George Bernard Shaw says that marriage is like tying to people in a ship together. It doesn't matter who you are tied up to, you will make the person a lifelong partner. Comradeship makes marriages last, not romanticism.
War veterans despise the war they are stuck in. But if asked to leave the battlefield, they will not because of their comrades. The hellish environment created bonds between these men that last throughout their lifetime. Lasting marriages also contains this comradeship. The couple goes through this hurricane of life and by overcoming the difficulties thrown at them, it makes their bond cemented even more.
So love is not weddings and flowers. Real love is deep financial problems or a sick child.
But don't take my word for it:
Brookner: "The essence of romantic love is that wonderful beginning, after which sadness and impossibility may become the rule."
Crowley: "Love stories are only fit for the solace of people in the insanity of puberty. No healthy adult human being can really care whether so-and-so does or does not succeed in satisfying his physiological uneasiness by the aid of some particular person or not."
Jones: "Romance, like the rabbit at the dog track, is the elusive, fake, and never attained reward which, for the benefit and amusement of our masters, keeps us running and thinking in safe circles."
Romanticism, farewell! And 'The One'ism, adieu! Give me the love songs of ages past! Give me Don Juan! Give me Madame Venus! Give me elopement by ladder and rope on a moonlight night! Let the neighbors stare and adore, for their lives are measured by propriety and yardsticks. Let the rabbit run its course for we have stopped running in circles, chasing the rabbit 'Romance' on and on.
And by doing so, the circle breaks. We're finally free.
__________________
POOK
