New "friend" that i like.

[Ark Dragon]

OK! I've been hanging out with my cousin's friends. He and his friends are about 3 years younger than me but i get along with them great! BUT there is this girl who's "one of the guys". Shes never had a boyfriend and makes perverse and crude jokes around everyone just like the guys do. I refer to her as the lesbo dyke around my cousin because...well...thats the feeling i get. Even tho shes not bad looking and rather sporty shes just...not a girl. I've had problems in the past of ending up as the guy friend with girls i've liked. And when i started on this site last year i solved all that or so i thought...i've dated two girls i actually liked sense then and I thought those times were over. Now this girl...lets call her...Sarah just graduated HS, shes funny, smart, gamer girl....tons in common but not everything. And i've been avoiding being to friendly around her...almost ignoring her but she seems really comfortable around me, talks to me alot....seems excited to see me when we all go hang out. I dont return her affection for fear of falling into another one of those "friend" pits...My cousin has this picture of a girl he liked in HS....which...is the hottest girl i've ever seen and he was holding it up while we were all at the park compairing her to this 300 lb woman getting out of a car. We were all laughing but "Sarah" jumps up in front of the fat woman and presses her face to the side of my cousin's wallet. Now she doesnt look at him...this would have told me that she likes him....instead she look at me...like glar type of look. This just doesnt seem to add up with the "friend" things shes been throwing. Also...three minutes later she went on a rant about how she would do Gwen (lead singer of No Doubt) and turn lez for her...WTF is going on here? Can someone save me before i like her to much? Sorry for the spelling and grammer, its almost 4am and i'm tired as hell.

 

[Ark Dragon]

and its been two years, not one.

 

[SemperFi719]

I dont see anything in your description that stands out in telling of why you think this girl likes you. You say this girl is one of the guys... maybe she does see you as a friend. The Gwen thing doesn't worry me because I have heard girls talk about how famous celebrity women look "pretty" and shyt like that. Does she touch you a lot? Does she go out of her way to hang out with you in particular? These are some things you should consider before you assume she likes you and isnt just being a friend or one of the guys.

 

[JonJack]

2 years? You're probably just friends by now. And after 2 years, I would think you would know whether she has any sort of intimate interest in you. C'mon man, 2 years is a long time to get to know someone. Isn't there anything you've learned about this girl in all that time?

Maybe you're not asking the right questions. If a suitable situation were to arise, try asking her what she thinks about going out with a guy. Try and progress it to asking her thoughts on going out with your brother or with you. Do this in an enquiring and curious manner. Gauge her response. If her response is a green light, then proceed with gaming her.

Or you could always just go for the straight forward approach and tell her that you think she should be going out with you. This would be better considering you want someone to save you before you like her too much. Do this, get some answers from her and move on or move to the next level with her depending on her response.

Just try not to idle too much. Idling is worse than making the wrong move. You'll just keep playing things over and over in your head till it drives you insane.

 

[Ark Dragon]

no no, i dont think she likes me as in boyfriend like. I want to change that and i'm wondering how to do that now that i'm already a "friend" i'm guess. She doesnt touch me alot, no more than anyone else, no less, hugs, thats about it. I want to change this so that i can get her or i want someone to tell me not to try. I just dont want to fall for this one like those nightmares in the past. I really think i can get just about any girl i want, i've tested this...she seems very different. Like a void almost...The picture thing was the only time she even did anything "girlish".

 

[Ark Dragon]

no no no, i havnt known her for 2 years, i've known her for a month, MAYBE. I've been going to this site for two years. I'm 21 now.

 

[SemperFi719]

If you search on this site you should be able to find an article titled "getting out of the friends zone". I remember seeing it around here. It is possible but its not guaranteed to happen. You have to realize right from the bat this if you venture into this you could risk losing the friendship. One way or another the relationship between you and her wont be the same and it WILL change if you persue this.

 

[JonJack]

Originally posted by Ark Dragon
no no no, i havnt known her for 2 years, i've known her for a month, MAYBE. I've been going to this site for two years. I'm 21 now.

Okay! Misinterpretation. So it's just a month eh.

SemperFi719 is quite right with his opinion. You've kinda have to get a handle of what it is you want from her. Keep it focused and go for it. Whatever the outcome you should be able to handle it if you keep your focus.

Do not do the "I want her but I don't want to jeopardise the friendship either" crap. CHOOSE one. Friendship or something more. Choose one and focus on that.

 

[Ark Dragon]

I want to take her out, have fun, and eventually get her in the sack. Hows that for ya?
Which...had i met her in a different way. I'm sure i could have already done.

 

[JonJack]

Originally posted by Ark Dragon
I want to take her out, have fun, and eventually get her in the sack. Hows that for ya?
Which...had i met her in a different way. I'm sure i could have already done.

Well then, start going out on dates with her. Just the two of you. If that ain't happening, then getting her in the sack ain't happening.