New female house mate

[sazc]

This will not end well

Word

 

[Murk]

She’s like oh my friend Tom came back with me last night we were so wrecked.

I was like yeah I saw him this morning, said hi to him and the cvnt looked at me and ignored me. No response from her she just looked down to the floor, should have drilled it in further. Wasn’t about to buy any BS story from her.

I am not mad any more, I’m still king of this castle, she’s just lost the privelidge of having a dependable person looking out for her. We will still be friends but I’m not going out of my way for her anymore.

I’m bringing Sophie over after work tomorrow she has just got back from Miami/Barbados for her 30th and looking sexy and tanned as hell, I’ll make sure to smash her properly, she’s loud to.

Balance will be restored and all will be right in the world again

I’m going to use this thread to document the next 6 months with this broad.

 

[marmel75]

I'm not sure why you are so bent out of shape about this. You tell her to bring dudes back and then she does and it triggers you.

You claim you aren't interested but by all your posts and how you come off in them you definitely are.

That's the problem. You wanted to be the one banging her not Tom.

 

[Murk]

Of course marmel if she was a 5/10 dog I wouldn't give a **** but the fact is some guy in my house ignored me which he really could have held a slap for. It's not that she brought a dude back it's that he was a prick and she asked me to bring her beer and fags while Tom is deepthroating her.

I've actually cooled off and don't really care now.

I've never to my knowledge been cheated on so this is the most cucked I've ever felt.

 

[marmel75]

Of course marmel if she was a 5/10 dog I wouldn't give a **** but the fact is some guy in my house ignored me which he really could have held a slap for. It's not that she brought a dude back it's that he was a prick and she asked me to bring her beer and fags while Tom is deepthroating her.

I've actually cooled off and don't really care now.

I've never to my knowledge been cheated on so this is the most cucked I've ever felt.

I mean how is that her fault? She can't control the way he acts. Thats on him.

 

[Murk]

I mean how is that her fault? She can't control the way he acts. Thats on him.

My friend said that too.

Hence I'm on my laptop posting this while chilling and talking with her.

I had a weird moment, all is forgiven, I will continue as normal with her.

I have been a bit of a salty *****, I think to was just the shock, I've lived alone for years and now have a new person in my space, and an in the space of a week a man in my house in his boxers... I'm a man, I don't like other men like that in my personal space, I think that's the lesson I learned today.

 

[BeExcellent]

I'm confused by this entire thread. She's your roommate and your friend, nothing more.

You gave her open permission to bring dudes back & then you think you've been cucked? Are you mad?

She isn't your girlfriend or your plate. Your head is in fantasy land. She's a cool chick roommate. Expect that she will act like a roommate rather than a plate.

It's cool that she cooks for you & y'all get along...that makes life more pleasant. But you are the one thinking "tit for tat" and so forth.

She's just being a roommate nothing more. My guess is she'll tease you about Sophie being loud after the fact...the way a dude would tease you.

You are butt hurt over your own fantasy expectations. That's all this is.

 

[Murk]

I'm confused by this entire thread. She's your roommate and your friend, nothing more.

You gave her open permission to bring dudes back & then you think you've been cucked? Are you mad?

She isn't your girlfriend or your plate. Your head is in fantasy land. She's a cool chick roommate. Expect that she will act like a roommate rather than a plate.

It's cool that she cooks for you & y'all get along...that makes life more pleasant. But you are the one thinking "tit for tat" and so forth.

She's just being a roommate nothing more. My guess is she'll tease you about Sophie being loud after the fact...the way a dude would tease you.

You are butt hurt over your own fantasy expectations. That's all this is.

Agreed, you're part right, it's a blessing in disguise really - now we can be sexual beings in the same house and remain friends, we got that out of the way early. It's ok playing house, and I kind of got wrapped up in that slightly because it's a new thing and the last person I lived with was my mum who passed away from cancer two years ago, I'm an only child, dad in Ireland, effectively an orphan now (although I'm 29)

I take on board all criticism levelled at me in this thread, its all on point and I was thinking like a b!tch, but it was in my head, I haven't reacted or acted like a b!tch so it's fine.

Let's make no bones about this though, I gamed this chick when I was with my ex gf and that's the only reason things didn't progress, because I felt guilty and wouldn't pull the trigger despite this girl always wanting to see and meet me.. So it's definitely more than a cool chick roommate, that's a fact. She acts weird and doesn't respond when I mention ex gfs, current girls or anything to do with a female, she breaks eye contact and shrugs **** off. She wants me and I know this. Just doesn't wanna **** herself over which I understand. I'm thinking her bringing a dude back was to set a president on this matter that it's not a good idea to fvck and I agree with that.

Also, I didn't say I was cucked, I said I feel that way, I'm fully aware if the situation, just being open and honest with my feelings on it. I know I have no right/claim to her. Thanks for your response though.

 

[meldiamond]

What are you waiting for? You should've f#cked her on day 1. You had multiple opportunities when you were both f#cked up. She got tired of waiting and found some random d.

You're treating her like a princess doing chores for her. You have no one to blame but yourself. Assuming you are retelling the events accurately, you have f#cked yourself over on every possible occasion. Now the best you get is sloppy seconds from a very sloppy hor

 

[Murk]

What are you waiting for? You should've f#cked her on day 1. You had multiple opportunities when you were both f#cked up. She got tired of waiting and found some random d.

You're treating her like a princess doing chores for her. You have no one to blame but yourself. Assuming you are retelling the events accurately, you have f#cked yourself over on every possible occasion. Now the best you get is sloppy seconds from a very sloppy hor

I should have banged my friend and new roommate for the next 6 months on the first day she moved in, no.

I'm not starved for *****, I can go out and hunt a new plate on a whim. She was bringing dudes back to her old house, banged some guy I know and also tried to bang my new work colleague 2 months ago when I took him around that particular social circle, this has not surprised me.

I haven't done any chores for her, she's cleaned my whole house and cooked all the meals plus meal prep for lunch during the week at work. Plus helped me with buying new **** for the pad.

It's best I don't bang her, not yet anyway, if I scare her off I'm out of pocket, no more company, no more food and cleaning.

 

[spred]

I think you are doing the right thing so far.
Best not to get drunk or high and become soft towards her. Women sense sh1t even when sober

 

[Murk]

Ok so a little update on this, I have sophie coming round tomorrow (monday just felt too reactionary and I wasn't really doing it for me like someone in this thread said - it was a salty reaction.

But I'm actually gonna tell her tonight I have someone coming over tomorrow. I am not gonna play these games.

I've been advised by some friends to tell my roommate that it's not on her bringing total strangers back, it's my house, my responsibility, my possession. She's just renting a room for a few months and I'm doing her a massive favour letting her stay. That guy was blatantly not her friend, the vibes I got weren't friendly.

I did tell her she can bring guys back, but I didn't mean every tom d!ck and harry she meets when out and drunk, it's my house and I'm not gonna have strangers waltzing in. It's ok for me to bring chicks back, they can't physically take advantage and it's my house so my responsibility anyway.

Then I have my other friend who knows her well saying to focus on the lack of communication rather than the "randoms". But really and truly, if she knew the guy well, was her bf, regular fwb etc that's fine with me. It's the random guy in my house she doesn't know that's an issue for me. It's not student accommodation, it's not 2 friends renting and sharing a house, it's my property and I'm letting her stay.

What you guys think?

 

[marmel75]

Ok so a little update on this, I have sophie coming round tomorrow (monday just felt too reactionary and I wasn't really doing it for me like someone in this thread said - it was a salty reaction.

But I'm actually gonna tell her tonight I have someone coming over tomorrow. I am not gonna play these games.

I've been advised by some friends to tell my roommate that it's not on her bringing total strangers back, it's my house, my responsibility, my possession. She's just renting a room for a few months and I'm doing her a massive favour letting her stay. That guy was blatantly not her friend, the vibes I got weren't friendly.

I did tell her she can bring guys back, but I didn't mean every tom d!ck and harry she meets when out and drunk, it's my house and I'm not gonna have strangers waltzing in. It's ok for me to bring chicks back, they can't physically take advantage and it's my house so my responsibility anyway.

Then I have my other friend who knows her well saying to focus on the lack of communication rather than the "randoms". But really and truly, if she knew the guy well, was her bf, regular fwb etc that's fine with me. It's the random guy in my house she doesn't know that's an issue for me. It's not student accommodation, it's not 2 friends renting and sharing a house, it's my property and I'm letting her stay.

What you guys think?

I'm with you on that. I never even liked random chicks coming to my house...had one steal all my cards out of my wallet when I was in the shower once and didn't find out til the next day when i went to try and buy something at the store.

I would definitely not be allowing random dudes in the house. Thats not being salty, these days that's just being smart. Too many whack jobs running around that could try and rob you if they see something valuable or come back later when they know nobody is home.

Just because someone is interested in fvcking doesnt mean they also dont have bad intentions or could have bad intentions under the right circumstances.

 

[spred]

She is a woman, likely will take the Sophie announcement as a payback for her bringing the random dude, Also if you talk about responsibility, your house (which are true), she will also take that as butthurt because of the dude.

My advice is not to talk in these terms, but rather let her know covertly, in time, that random dudes are not ok.

 

[Murk]

She is a woman, likely will take the Sophie announcement as a payback for her bringing the random dude, Also if you talk about responsibility, your house (which are true), she will also take that as butthurt because of the dude.

My advice is not to talk in these terms, but rather let her know covertly, in time, that random dudes are not ok.

It's not a covert issue bro, this is something needing to be address as adults face to face, no sly bullsh!t, no nuance, straight up like you're supposed to do with friends and people you respect.

But I also can't help think she's gonna think i'm salty, part of me doesn't give a fvck... she overstepped massively, she had plenty of chances to msg me "brought a friend back" and I would be mostly fine, then she barges in my room being OVERLY friendly etc because she knows she done wrong.

I'm getting so many conflicting opinions on this, you guys, plus my own friends - I really don't know what to say to her.

 

[spred]

"Next time you bring a guest, let me know through a message"

In this way you assert your ownership of the house and not appear affected by her dude. Also if she supposes anything, it will be her assumption, not yours.

 

[Murk]

"Next time you bring a guest, let me know through a message"

In this way you assert your ownership of the house and not appear affected by her dude. Also if she supposes anything, it will be her assumption, not yours.

I like it.

[17:12, 9/18/2018] E: Say nothing - things don’t change. Say something - there’s a chance they’ll improve and everyone moves on. Again, you approaching her isn’t a ‘nasty’ thing. Think about her personality and what kind of communication works best.
[17:13, 9/18/2018] E: Like I said the other day. A direct and honest yet consoling approach is something Sara will respond to positively.
[17:16, 9/18/2018] S: ok
[17:16, 9/18/2018] S: I think just say look, if you bring guys back, tell them i live her and to have some respect
[17:17, 9/18/2018] S: explain the situation that you live with me
[17:17, 9/18/2018] S: so if i say hi they don't blank me
[17:17, 9/18/2018] E: Exactly
[17:17, 9/18/2018] S: like she doesn't need to tell me guys are coming back
[17:17, 9/18/2018] S: but if we are texting at 8am after both being out, thats prob a good time to actually say "have a friend with me"
[17:17, 9/18/2018] E: It doesn’t have to be this big thing. We’ve spoken about it so much in a day when all it probs needs is a small chat
[17:17, 9/18/2018] S: yeah course
[17:17, 9/18/2018] S: i just didn't know which angle to take
[17:17, 9/18/2018] E: Lol I know
[17:18, 9/18/2018] S: plus all my friends have given me differing opinions
[17:18, 9/18/2018] S: now, shes gonna think me announcing sophie coming over is gonna be some salty ***** move
[17:18, 9/18/2018] S: maybe ill just get sophie over on friday when Sara goes to Malta instead
[17:19, 9/18/2018] E: Often the subtle approach is the best. Well that’d be respectful as you are living under the same roof and it’d be wise to play it cool

I'm thinking to take the above route, not lowering myself to b!tch levels, still confronting the situation but also being cool.

 

[AJ84]

I think you need to start at the beginning and ask yourself why you want someone you once tried to game as a roommate to begin with.
What were your intentions, assumptions and expectations when you agreed to let her live there? Maybe what you assume and what she assumes are totally different.

 

[spred]

Good idea, not confronting the issue right away will also get hamster spinning, assuming she thinks the other guy will make you jealous or get a reaction out of you..

 

[Murk]

Good idea, not confronting the issue right away will also get hamster spinning, assuming she thinks the other guy will make you jealous or get a reaction out of you..

What does this mean?

I think you need to start at the beginning and ask yourself why you want someone you once tried to game as a roommate to begin with.
What were your intentions, assumptions and expectations when you agreed to let her live there? Maybe what you assume and what she assumes are totally different.

I didn't want a roommate, I made that clear to her and to "E" in the beginning. The girls she currently lived with didn't wanna move with them so they asked to both live with me. Her and E's relationship broke down, I only really wanted one person anyway as 3 was over crowded. ME and the chick are friends, have confided personal things, she's openly said "you're the only person that has been there for me" because I was, her friends are not the kind of friends I keep, very fickle, mean, judgemental, me and this girl became friends, actual friends, talked about our councelling (we both saw therapists similar times, she still does I stopped). I know what you're suggesting, I suggest you read the thread sir.

I get company from this, money, a cook and cleaner. I told her she could bring guys and I stick buy that I'm not gonna deny her sex.

Ok so now we have answered the silly woman who is suggesting I want to lock this chick down as a sex slave while I have my cake and eat it (you silly bint) - can we get on with the thread?