new Bootcamp

[IndianaJoneS]

Hi, I´ve "restarted" a bc in germany after quitting my 1st last year (case of death in family, depression and simply lazyness I think ...).

I did the first week with the full 50 greetings in 9 days. More details later after workout.

cu

greetings,

Indiana

 

[Leuven]

I've started with it beginning of this week. I haven't finished the excercise I think. I'm not sure because I work in a student book store and there I say hello or look them in the eyes to more than 100 girls a day.

I will also try to give some results after every week. Hope it works for you IndianaJoneS.

Are there any other participants?

 

[IndianaJoneS]

ok here we go :

I used the following method for week 1 : I visited the next bigger town from mine, went to the shopping street and greeted people (mostly at least ok-looking women)
saying "hi" or "hello" in different moods (friendly, very friendly, straight, shy ...).

Things I realized : often, it took some time to get into a positive mood, what often held me back to just do it (look into her eyes, keep eye contact and simply say : "hi" when she passes). When I realized it, I "reprogrammed" myself saying to myself "hey this is ****ing social programming, I don´t care what other people think about me walking around and friendly greeting them". I know it sounds perhaps strange to you, but that where the things I had to fight with during bootcamp week1. But after every setback, I stood up and fought

It´s really very good for me to be totally concious of my feelings and motivations. I´ve read "The 6 pillars of self-esteem" and now use some of the pillars described in the book to hardly work on myself. Transferred on bc week 1 it meant for me : know when you tend to NOT do something thats ok because of socialprogramming/fear and then doing it in a very concious way. OK so far for the "mindset".

Most of the people didn´t keep the eye contact for longer than 1 or 2 seconds. I got some smiles but lets say <25% of the women. Maybe my facial expression is too serious!? I often try to simply look calm or happy, but I just can´t fake it. It´s there or it´s not. One thing I found out and that really amused me was that many people who keep eye contact (woman, who are interested in me e.g.) first keep eye contact and then they twinkle and look away slightly anxious. It´s really crazy, do they want to "reset" the eye contact with the twinkling ?? hehe. Why don´t they just keep it, if they like my nice looks ? Their problem .....

One of the big problems for every day was the getting up and going onto the road. There is something that tried to hold me back, to push me back into comfort zone, to not let me expand my possibilities, to avert me making new experiences. I really had to fight to get my ass up and will have to in the next ways. Cu in 9 days (latest).

Good luck to all of you !

There´s no easy way out

Indiana

 

[IndianaJoneS]

hey, please forgive eventual grammar or spelling errors, I´m giving my best

 

[Leuven]

Nice work there.
I went also this afternoon to the shopping street. First I searched eye contact, only with girls, and I'd be surprised how little girls who were actually looking back, or just for a instant and then looked down. Greeting people was much more difficult, I've only greeted 3 girls ( only one said "Hi" back ). I've started with the excercise on Thursday, so that leaves me another 4 days for 47 "hi's".

Sincerely

 

[IndianaJoneS]

Ok guys, week2 is in progress, here are the results so far :

First of all : YES, my weeks have more than 7 days. But, longer weeks - more time, so no problem at all =) Yeah, I´m a little lazy sometimes, but I´m aware of it and when I find myself doing nothing and gambling around, I kick in my own ass to get up and start working.

here we go :

#1 After work (I´m student and have a job at a local computer distributer) I saw a new employee of our security team and just started talking to him like :"hey, never seen you before" (in german, of course ). We got into an conversation of 5-10 minutes, where I had to break it, because he "flooded" me.

#2 I worte a test for my university, afterwards I walked outside the building and saw 2 guys sitting on the stairs. I´m not totally comfortable doing these things, but I just said : "Hi, did the test run well for you?" and we had a really nice conv. where a fourth person got in and we had some fun, too.

It´s absolutely about confidence. It´s so ultimately easy and can at the same time be a huge mountain impossible to pass. What I realized during the bootcamp till now :

THERE IS A WARMUP PHASE LIKE AT EVERYTHING. I´m a sportsman, playing table tennis on an competitive base. If you´re not warmed up (like by doing some easy practices) you won´t feel comfortable with the "game". Same for talking to strangers / women. On every bc - day my "mood-line" had a similar progression. If it wasn´t already on a good level, it immediatly rised as soon as I started DOING THINGS. I got comfortable with things and got a little confidence boost every single time, even if it didn´t work well. Often I ended really euphoric catching myself more dancing than walking (yeah baby). especially at #3 :

#3 on the same day after my test I walked directly to my car. My behaviour during all previous tests would have been : getting into car, driving home and following the same boring "day routine" as everyday. Don´t know why, but I decided to just take a little walk. I was wearing an mp3 player with euphoric music (I was hearing linking park 'breaking the habbit' in that moment). So, I walk in the park hearing music, suddenly seeing this nice, blonde chick in front of me.When she was directly in front of me, I snapped with my fingers of the left hand then pointing to her with my forefinger, my head slightly leaned to the left, wrinkled forehead, pokerface with little smile - I know, it sounds cheesy, but I swear, it must have looked really cool , I reviewed it later in the mirror... Then I asked her where the different area of studies are. She told me, then offered me to go with her and show me the rest. I agreed, introduced myself with handshake and we had a little walk and a nice conversation, where she told me some things about her. Then she left, I asked her for contact, she hesitated first, then gave me her mail ... "cu Kate" ... and another happy man ! it really kicked me. I really could not believe I had done this : because of deep social programming that I´m getting rid of slowly (thanks god ... ). Yeah, I really would have doubt and probably made fun of it, if someone had told me this example as a good way to get known a girl, and WHY ? Because I never had done such a spontaneous flirt. YES, I love myself (and not only my superior looks ).

#4 Another university building, where 2 girls sat on a table. I slowly passed by, then asked a similar question about where to find what ... then during the smalltalk I simply leaned at a pole opposite of them. I talked slowly and cool. One chick was really UGLY the other one somehow nice, not beautiful, but I was somehow interested in her. Made a joke, we laughed, then I simpy left after about 2-3 minutes. But the one girl kept up the conversation, as if she wanted me to stay (yes she wanted ...) but .. I left.

#5 Girl, I was introduced by a very good friend of mine in a club. I had already drunken ALOT, what really ****ed me up, but I tried to stay cool and it somehow worked. Started with "Where from ... job .... bla bla". Then an other guy approached this girl, while I was talking to my friend, but he kinda sucked, nervous body language etc. and I had somehow fun watching it. Some minutes later the girl focused on me again. Things went OK, not good, but not bad, too. We laughed only a litte, but I did intense eye contact and behaved cool. BUT THEN the alcohol started to grab with his AFC - tentacles at me and he got me ! bastard. I felt some insecurities and left after some minutes of doing nothing feeling really bad. But instead of blustering into it, I got on the dancefloor, ****ing didn´t care for some minutes and came back somehow cured.

BROTHERS and especially to guys that are new : Leave away the ****ing alk. It kills you. It kills your attidtude, your discipline, sometimes even your looseness. Yes, I think, that too much alcohol can build up more tension by leaving you in a "non-operation" state that leads directly to frustration. Or you wake up beside an also drunken ***** (thats ok, I think )

So, we talked again. Bevore she left, I asked for mail, she gave me, I´m happy .

So far for week 2. 5 left. I´ll aim to finish wk2 on wednesday.

Any suggestions ?

Big conclusion : There is something as a "warmup-phase" that you can use to your advantage!!!



Thanks for listening, folks.

(ok ok, I know it was entertaining)

greetings and thanks,

Indiana

 

[Leuven]

Oke, week 1 was a succes, On a sunny day last week I went to a park and said hello against every single woman.

Now I'm starting week 2.

#1 : Wednesday noon, I was ordening some French Fries when
I noticed a chick sitting in the corner waiting for her food.
Started some convo with here, first about the food, work, ...
about 5 min and then left when I've got what I wanted
"my Fries"

#2 : New collegue at work. hb 6. I was taking my noon break,
but because of the good weather I when outside where she
was smoking. Started by making some funny remarks on
her smoking, then began to talk about going out, favorite
music, .... ( 10 minutes )

#3 : Yesterday, rained like hell so I decided to chat. Met a girl on
the net. Because I was bored I asked her if she did
the evening. No, so I met her at some bar and talked with
her for couple of houres without any breaks or moments
of silence. Talked mostly about her, when she asked
something about me, I made her guess everytime...
Thursday I meet her again.

My week also have more than 7 days, I think it's something Europeen. But anyway The 7 other convo's will soon be a fact. I"ll keep you informed

Sincerely

 

[IndianaJoneS]

Yesterday, rained like hell so I decided to chat. Met a girl on
the net. Because I was bored I asked her if she did
the evening. No, so I met her at some bar and talked with
her for couple of houres without any breaks or moments
of silence.


Hey ! not bad !

Let´s do a race, budy

Do you come from germany, too ?

greetings, Indiana

 

[IndianaJoneS]

Ok, today cloudy sky. Didn´t want to do bootcamp. It happened by accident, when I was going to collect a friend at the trainstation.

two girls, young, sittings there, I : "Hi, how do you do?" (again in german, of course ). They irritated : "we are fine". Asked for the next train. They didn´t know. Left. Came back. "Hey I´m searching for someone to entertain me the next minutes (must have appeared a little arrogant for them), they sad "aha?" then I mentioned that they don´t seem to be very communicative and just hang around them.

so, no #, just wanted to mention

#6 again trainstation, I see girl at the other side of the rails, I walk through the underpass, went strait to her "Hi, how are you?" ... asked for the train, then mentioned that she seems familiar to me etc. talked about 5 mins, then left. I could feel her defenses lowering during the first 30 seconds of the convo. Strangers really have to warm up more then ever if it´s not in a club.

#7 saleswoman at gasstation. I walk into the salesroom with my budy. They had a rack with sunglasses there. I chose one went to saleswoman and asked her for her oppinion. short convo but long enough

so, 3 to go !

greetings, Indiana

 

[IndianaJoneS]

Ok, week#2 is completed now. Hope, I can remember the convos.

#8 some girls at tabletennis - training, I talked to for a while, we had some fun during the training, but a group of girls can be really arduous for a man ....

#9 there was an "public festival" here (roller coasters, shooting galleries etc, you know what I mean?). I went to one roller coaster and talked to the girls who sold the tickets there, using some c+f lines. (asked, if the roaller coaster isn´t too fast and accused her to want me see spewing ... she laughed 2 or 3 times, then I left)

#10 ok ok, I can´t remember exactly, but on friday, me and my friend, who also attends the bc went to town to have some fun and did some cool things, and I know that under these things a 2-10 min. conv. must have been, but I can´t remember exactly.

nevertheless, among other things, we went to girls and directly told them :"hey, I know it´s a little inappropriate know, but I saw you and would like to get to know you. I´d like to have your phone number.

Ok, I got no number, but it was fun to see, how the girls reacted. They obviously felt flattered and reacted positively. I think they where really astonished by this straight approaches.

It´s quit a good practice for overcoming hardcore - fear of approaching women.

Any suggestions ?

greetings and have a nice sunday,

Indina

 

[IndianaJoneS]

Week#3.

Yesterday (saturday), I really had to fight to get into action. Often I suffer from lazyness. But, after work, I went to the city to start some convos with women. Soon, I ran into 2 girls saying "hi" to passing goodlooking men (like me ) and I went over to them to talk to them (hey - they must have been bootcamping themselves, maybe I should have told them, that this bc is really more men - related). Really boring conversation with 2 *****y, little girls .... And no count, because they approached me in fact ....

I have really problems approaching a group of girls, always there is this ***** totally freaking out and ****ing off the whole thing.

Later my friend and I went to a ****tail bar that was heavily crouded. I straight went to 2 ok - looking girls and said "Hi, can we join you?" (it was a 4 seat - table). They agreed and we had some nice conversation. It took some time for them to warm up, but later the evening we had some fun with them. My budy did the c+f thing in a really exaggerated way, but it worked they laughed a lot. Then he burped really loud and they bursted in laughing. LOL. After a while we left the place, totally out of money, but with conv#1 on my account

CU

Indiana

 

[IndianaJoneS]

Week#3

#2 : today, I decided to get a new haircut and visited a new coiffeur. My hairdresser was a ok - looking, but a little shy woman. I opened with : "Hi, How are you?", during the haircut we had a nice conversation, her telling me some things about her. Before saying goodbye, I asked for her name, said :"nice to meet you" and left.

Talking to coiffeurs is a fine practice, as they are often very chatty and friendly.

#3 : I went to the canteen at my university and looked for some goodlooking chicks to join. Then I saw 2 blonde ladies sitting there at a 4-seat- table. There were many free seats around, and AFC - tentacles already wanted my to pull away and just pass, but I resisted, said "hi, may I join you?" and simply sat down. Then I waited for 1-2 minutes and got in the conversation. We talked about studies and sports. Later I got the email - address of one of the 2.

#4 : My wingman and I went to the party at our university and approached some groups of girls and some single woman. It didn´t go well, but who cares ... One Lady was standing at a pole, I introduced myself, but she freaked out, I said to her : "you don´t like to chat, do you?" and just left her.


Week3 is a real effort for me. Talking to foreign woman and keeping the conversation going is something I really need to improve in alot.

greetings,

Indiana

 

[IndianaJoneS]

I´m still at 4 convos with good looking women for week 3. I still don´t have the right "mindest" approaching a girl that I´m interested in. But it slowly gets better every approach. Reading Mr. Fingers "Weapons of Mass Seduction" ->great handbook for me . I will return with results soon.

At the moment I´m again expanding my "social relations" as I realized that years of ****ing passiveness left me with some genuine friends and thats it.

It just takes time.

And I have to dance more. Yesterday, I danced with a really nice girl, but I somehow was way to shy. Hey, did you realize, that dancing cool with a woman is a little different from the "hey guys, this is my new the highspeed hardcore-freak-techno dance" ?

important insights :

- technology+lazyness = isolation

- knowing is not enough. you must apply. Willing is not enough. you must do.

I´ll do it.

cu,

Indiana

 

[IndianaJoneS]

#5 during this weekend, talking to a girl in a local club, getting her phone#. We had a short convo, then I asked for her #, saying that I´d like to meet her. I was a little drunken, often resulting in not 'knowing' what to say, early, so I just "left to join my friends again".

greetings,

Indiana

 

[Sir Lancelot]

Keep up the good work IndianaJoneS. I have a feeling you'll be rolling a pile of numbers in no time

I'm thinking about starting BC again sometime soon to brush up on my cold approaching skills.

 

[IndianaJoneS]

#6 I talked to a sales-woman at a perfumery asking her for a good flavour that would match me best. We talked for a short time. Then I made a funny comment and she laughed a little. I left, with 2 ideas of my new flavour.

#7 I took some dance lessons this week with no idea who should be my dance partner. So, I entered the place, directly approached a group of girls, asking them, if they had a partner. So, I introduced myself to the most beautiful of them, and here we go....

The dance lesson was really funny. We had some problems since "my girl" a head smaller than me Let´s see, if she´s there next week.


Additionally, I started to attend kickbox, and boxing this week. I wonder, if I´m doing TOO much, but it helps to get out of frustration if there are (new) things to do.

****, my "week" is slowly getting a month, but hey, this week is the most educative for me, so probably I should go over 10 ....

greetings

Indiana

 

[IndianaJoneS]

#7 was a good looking doctor´s receptionist at a psychiatrist, I visited this week. I made some jokes about her. It was a really relaxed and easy going convo. Finally, I wanted to ask for her email, but she didn´t show up again.