New Beginnings....

[rchap87]

Hi everyone...Need drastic help...

I recently lost all my Login data, so have had to make a new account.

Anyway, in light of recent happenings, Ive decided I really need to turn over a new leaf. Being out last saturday, me and my friend were at our local student bar. He somhow picked up this girl from Liverpool, who was an 8....without doing a simple thing. He does this all the time, has girls come speak to him, without him doing a single thing, then ends up taking them back to his flat etc etc....

Now Ive had lots of people tell me Im not ugly, and Ive even been described as a 9/10 by the same friends ex, who described him as an 8 ??? (So Im better looking but she chose him ???)

But without going off target, he pulled this girl..and she had 3 hot friends ranging from 8 to 9....He reckoned that he tried to set me up....which is utter bollocks.... I know I shouldnt leave it up to him to sort things out...but thats my problem. I dont think I can. I have all the knowledge thanks to this site, and everyone who contributes to it. My problem is I just cant bring myself to actually use it. I was appaerntly set up with them all.....being sat as far away as possible....next to a group of ugly girls (4 and below)....

This is an inner personality problem Im sure.. But which certainly requires fixing as soon as possible. Im not a virgin, but I'm 21 in December, and hope to increase my "Tally" by at least 1 or 2.



BTW....once talking to girls Im fine, but I need your guidance and assistance in starting anything off. And no posts saying "Just go up and talk to them", becuse that really doesnt help whatsoever (Like trying to teach someone to drive a car by just telling them DRIVE !!!)

 

[rchap87]

37 views and nothing ??

Come on guys, Im sure a lot of people have been in the same situation at some point ??

Just any tips to get over the first time angst ??

 

[brian123]

read the bible dude. You are asking a general help problem that is in the bible, and in the DJ bootcamp guide.

 

[Cashew]

I go out with a friend sometimes when he wants to 'pick up girls' or 'meet girls'

What always happens is that I end up attracting the girl(s). From his point of view he says that I do nothing and they show interest in me. His perception of me doing nothing is inaccurate though, what I do is subtle in addition to him not being in the right mindset to attract girls.

For example, a few nights ago we were out at karaoke. The two of us were at the bar and a girl came by and sat in the seat next to my friend to order a drink. I started the conversation by inviting her to take a shot with us, and after some friendly banter she agreed. I did all of our drink ordering and afterward we all went back to the karaoke room for a bit.

The time came for my friend and I to get some more drinks for ourselves so we got up. My friend just got up and left without a word to her, as I was leaving I leaned in and said "I expect my seat to still be here when I get back." It was pretty crowded, so not an unreasonable request besides. She wanted to know where we were going, I pantomimed drinking and then started to walk away.

She got up and said she'd join us, but wanted to use the restroom first. I situated my friend and I at the bar so that she would sit in the empty seat net to him rather than the lack of seat next to me. She came bak and pulled a chair to sit next to me though. All the conversation from my friend was either boring questions like "what do you do" or just follwing my or her conversation.

By the end of the night she had picked a song for us to karaoke together, I had her enter her number into my phone, and she wanted to know what I was doing for Halloween (followed by her asking if she could join me). My friend got none of the above because he was not outgoing and not displaying that he could enjoy himself to the extent I enjoy myself. I didn't do anything special other than be who I am, but it always ends up the same when the two of us hang out. between the two of us I make most of the on the spot decisions, am generally having more fun.

I'm sure your friend is doing plenty more than the nothing you claim him to be doing. By your despription it seems as he is always the one taking the lead in conversation and interaction between the two of you. This already is enough for girls to have more of a reason to be attracted to him than you because it seems as though he is the one in control of the situation (aka the one with more power). He doesn't need to try to display it, he just has it. This is why my friend always wants to go out with me, because he knows the girls will be there and will usually stick around for a bit.

In his mind I'm sure my friend tells himself he can make a move someday or that one of the girls might be into him eventually, but it won't be the case because he doesn't possess the proper mentality. He never takes the lead, even when I try to get him to do so.

What I would suggest as a first step for you is just try to take the lead in a social situation. If you can't do it with that friend, then go out with one you do feel comfortable taking the lead with. Just be sure of yourself and confident and everyone else is going to feel fine going along with whatever you do because of it.