new BC - I BET it works - join in !!!

[MoveYourAss...]

Folks,

New DJ Boot Camp started yesterday!!!
I want to invite all of you in to share the experience!!!

If you don't know what it is, look at the DJ Bible link NOW. I would be one or a few days ahead, but so what, join in today.

From my first day I can already tell that it will be a life-enhancing experience, as long as followed through. ;-) AND: I BET IT WORKS!! During the first day I had a GREAT time already, doing the eye-contact, even though I "only" managed 5 "hi" 's. By times I found it even difficult to do a countable "hi" cause eye contact and friendly smile caused others to "hi" me first ;-). I EVEN GOT SOME KINO !!!
Well, I know I could have gone further there but she was not really my type (personality and
physique), although having wake eyes. And I was were satisfied EXPERIENCING the progress, which is large for me.
It was particularly nice to see a nice guy trying on her girlfriend simultaneouly just 1 Meter on the side. He got the "attention" of the girl and showed her how nice, soft and understanding he is. A picture of my past behavoiour which is indeed leading nowhere.

There were several girls I seriosly thought I would NEVER get a smile from (self-confidence is really an issue). Some looked away, but several BRIGHTENED MY DAY with a smile, others locking eye contact curiously and kind of "greedy/needy" (I'm looking forward to see whats happening with the latter in a few weeks by now ;-).

After such a long walk in the city I would normally have come home all tired and stressed out, with the new interaction the time was so much fun and I was full of energy.

Walking confidently makes a GREAT difference, the girls notice you with interest. I learned however, that sometimes it's difficult to make sure that you are not "confident" the arrogant way. A way to help here is to develop TRUST to the other people. Always remember to relay and have fun. That is really the crucial point.

Sometimes a promising initial eyecontact was interrupted, the attention was drawn away due to some bicycle or car approaching. This only lasted for 1/10 of a second, but looking back IMMIDIATELY didn't really cure the thing, quite the opposite. Must have appeared desperate. But in a large city full of people you have to be quick (on the streets). Any Hint?

Similar thing: in a crowded place you often only notice a nice girl and build up EC in the last second. So you can not check out eachother (whole body, clothes etc). They simply seem less relaxed. Any Hint?


I'm curious about your experiences.

For all the others (are you sure you don't want to join ?) this thread offers the opportunity to see the development of quite a nerd ;-) to a respectable DJ. I had a few LTR's but when it comes
to flirting and beeing comfortable around women I was quite a FBAFC and a very, very nice and insecure guy. Like so many others, I realized that I got all the intellectual knowledge how and what to do, but just couldn't know where to start and kick my a$$ to follow through. On a good day, I'd try some "techniques", have some progress, go home saying: "Ah, you CAN do it" be satisfied, feeling good... and starting all over 4 weeks later. This is a constant energy drain and the frustration makes it only worse, besides: time is passing. The boot camp is just what I needed.

You can laugh WITH me about my struggles and celebrate advances!
Feedback is very welcome.

Thank you VERY MUCH MoTU, Nick and Walden (GREAT inspiration) and all the others who contibuted to the BC and the this site.

5 down, 45 to go

Goin' out now....


MoveYourA$$... and your brain will follow
----------------
always preserve a calm state of mind

 

[MoveYourAss...]

week 1, day 2

Well, today was a bit lousy



good: I'm much more outgoing and having more fun. This EC and "Hi" thing is a great excersize and you also strongly improve your SOCIAL PROOF :big grin:. The perspective (the only one ;-) ) that you are the price, don't take any **** but are friendly if you like makes me also think about my few male friends. I just look closer to the people. So I added a personal goal to the BC: having a circle of 5 GOOD (funny, suportive, outgoing, activ) friends in the end of the camp.

bad: only 5 "hi"s, ALL serious ones to men. I do not count the ones I would have done anyway (shop owners, people sitting next to me etc.)

There were absolutely NO nice girls around. Wrong time, wrong place . I decided to go to wrong part of town. It's very important to check out which are good places and times to do ornithology :wink:

I believe the BC is right suggesting a mall, although in germany it's not that common. (People are a bit less afraid, I think. There are almost no guns allowed for privat people here. Of course there are places you should avoid, specially in a big city and when you are a woman, but its just so easy to just draw a gun and shoot, that your "true self" has hardly any time to step back and rethink: Do I REALLY REALLY wanna SHOOT that guy?).

Several times I shyed away at the end of the "Hi", i.e. loosing EC and closing body language, like slight shoulder rising to the front. I have to relax more, be more confident. (But it's great that this is the purpose of the 1st week, the base of all)

Another thing is that, if not completely relaxed (still difficult for me) my "smile" tends to freeze into a grin. This has shown to be not very helpful. I love the sentences like "the next one could be the one you marry" (from this forum, unfortunately I forgot where I found it ), but sometimes I simply do not remember.

My plan for tomorrow:
there is a large shopping mall on my way tomorrow, so I hope to get the nice chick rates in the HI-rating up to 60%. And get quite a few more.... Shopping malls are good because the rate of chicks who care about there appearance is higher. And I need some new shoes anway...and a coat, autumn is coming. I can't wait to see the ladies in this fantastic light. :wink:

No interest yet? I LOVE the camp since it has defined goals like numbers and dates :smile: . This is just what I needed to go ahead.

Come on in, lets share the excitement !

10 down, 40 to go... have to go stronger,

Bless you,
MoveYourA$$... and your brain will follow (unknown)

 

[Survivor]

Congratulations on starting the Boot Camp. However, you shouldn't limit your field reports to just the Mature Forum. Guys of all ages need the kind of inspiration you can provide.

That being stated, keep up the good work, but from now on, post any Boot Camp related field reports in Main Discussion Forum. That forum is more appropriate for any Boot Camp related threads.

This thread is bring moved to Don Juan Discussion.

 

[WestCoaster]

Boot camp is good

I don't really need all the aspects of it as I have decent social skills. What I've done is take a little of it here and there and tried to implement it into my life, as saying 'hi' to more people, smiling at more people, chatting up more women than usual, etc.

I REALLY could've used it at age 16 and/or 18.

But props to you for going through it. This is more of the stuff -- just like Player S's post a week ago or so -- that cannot and will not be found at Barnes & Noble, TV, radio, or any media. I'm not sure why the basics of DJism and men taking control of their own lives is not a topic in society, but it isn't. Instead, we get a daily dose of AFCism.

Anyway, good job on the boot camp and keep up the good work.

 

[MoveYourAss...]

week 1, day3

Thanx for correcting my posting on the wrong board so politely ;-)
And for your encouragement. This board really rocks.

Going to sleep now but wanted to leave a short note on the day: I only managed 5 Hi's, only one girl (5 or below), quite dissapointing for the time I spent. On the other hand, WAY better than only days ago.
AND: I start to have much more eye contact with people I talk in shops etc. I really enjoy it. Amazing I avoided it.

What I also do is talking to people, I often find openers concerning the surrounding. Today I was able to do some fun, however. Most of the conversations are rather stiff, no real rapport or even close. But this will be dealt with in the upcoming weeks ;-).

One thing I particularly like is saying "Hi" to the " alpha's, the people that behave in a rather elevated way and are probably getting a lot of (so-called) respect and are thus not approached. And when there comes a guy straight from FBAFC but recovering and greats them confidentely it shows they are completely out of order for a second (which is not what I consider "alpha")

I observed: The cool guys are the ones who great back most openly and friendly, some even great before you can.

I'm still in the mall idea. Today was rather a shopping street, all busy (this seems to be harder for me, probably also for them) and the chicks mainly cheap but arrogant young bytches, sorry to tell..

Well, excuses...

I definitely have to work on the relax thing and get the girl-ratio higher.

good night,

MoveYourA$$... and your brain will follow

 

[david90]

When people don't give you EC, think of it as them giving you power.

U are the alpha because you have the ability to look into people's eyes.

 

[Unforsaken]

Man, I enjoy reading this thread. Remind me of the good old days. Congrats on your accomplisment so far. The more "hi" you get the more confident you will be. I wouldn't worry to much on relaxing. The more success you gain the more comfortable you will be. Just remember to have fun.

 

[MoveYourAss...]

week 1, day4

Had an awful start, spend a lot of time and got 1 easy high to a 6. Easy because eye contact was long.

after a break I had 3 in 5 minutes !!!

AND: CELEBRATION: My first "Hi" to a hot one. 8-9, maybe officially only 8 but she had a style I dig. And in addition: she was with a guy!

I learned only recently that often it's just a friend, so go for it.

Well in total I got 7 today, 2 beeing nice girls, so there is some improvement.

However, you are right. The fun thing is important. I used to not count the HIs that weren't a challenge for me (which is getting more and more difficult ), including the quick convos I start with men & undatables) From tomorrow onward I will in addition only count the HIs in which I keep EC AND relaxed state during and after. Keeping relaxation in particular means leaving my shoulders back and down by gravity alone / not tensing the back of my neck. And: more girls..

another thing:
I HI'd one guy who showed a permasmile-grin. Now I know what it is like when it happens to me when my smile freezes.
This is something I will stop.

Up to now the result is already remarkable: One week ago I would USUALLY run araound awkward, nervous and anxious and actively avoid people from a distance, EC with a nice girl would be like "OMG, she found you out". And I would pitty myself cause they don't like me. Of course, the knowledge was there (This site was the BEST I FOUND), but I just could't get where to start.

PRAiSE FOR THE BOOT CAMP

I'm still doing stuff like this sometimes, but I simply experienced another, better reality. And it's only in your head ! You choose!

"they" say, that it takes 4 weeks to exchange habit. So the boot camp should thus be extended for 4 weeks in the end. Maybe I'll do this.

MoveYourA$$.. and your brain will follow

------
what you don't use, you loose (unknown)

Learning is like rowing against the stream. Once you stop, you go back. (LaoTze, (in-)famous translation by MoveYourA$$...)

 

[MoveYourAss...]

week 1, day4: Number close!!

Very suave...

Again the first outing was not so good, I went to get the shoes I chose from another shop of the same firm. This one is located in an area of town where low social class, income and education and violence is VERY present (HARDLY any guns, however). The guys there are EXTREMELY macho, even gang-like. The girls learnt to butter themselfs up fantastically. They are however a) stupid players of b) extremely careful: NO EC or imediately looking down. The guys are not respecting anything from them, continuing to approach in a very confident, but overly aggressiv way. The girls are thus avoiding anything to give signs that could be interpreted as invitation. I know, there are exceptions, but I think the girls I want by now ffound a way to move to a place they like more.
The "boldness" of the guys, however, can be an interesting thing to watch. I don't think it's real boldness, however, they just did not learn the finer touch.


Me too I want to change my place (not sooo bad), maybe even to the suburb I went in the evening....

got 9 Hi's in one hour, 4 from the ladies, a passing 7, a 7-8 that kept EC and turning, but I continued walking, and a true >8. The latter was awesome, since first I had nice EC with her collegue, a 9. She was a bit spoiled, however, and didn't keep it up long enough to say Hi. I do rarely (if at all) HI if EC passed. Her collegue (waitesses) was just 3 meters behind, with her super EC: smile and HI, again I walked by, hearing them conspiciously: "Do you know him?" Yeah, that's what she wanted...

It is awesome to realise that I CAN AND WILL HAVE THESE!!! Just a bit more courage and refinement...

I'm taking SALSA-lessons in an open course. I STRONGLY suppose you try this. There are always more girls then guys. It teaches you postre, how to move sexually, with the lady, turn her on sensually, and you (me) learn to be DOMINANT (in a healthy way) since you have to give hear clear physical commands. And sensual, physical learning is often more effecive than any other training. The physical way to change things about yourself also works, its a comlementary approach. SALSA is also some great action, kino and FUN-activity. FUN is good for ya! And it is even better when experienced with a lady.

So there was this 7, named A who was a bit more experienced than me (in dancing, of course...). But it was nice dancing, there was some vibe. In the beginning she was a bit shy, avoiding EC (SALSA is ALSO a great EC-training !!!) but then we laughed over some mistake, I did some kino on her (only upper arm), she immediately replied.
In the end I danced a bit more with her, but then I became unconcentrated and told her that I have to leave. She told me earlier on that she invited her GIRLFRIENDS (!!!!!!) to party into her birthday (which is great since part of them already dances SALSA, the others might get into it. Good that I left, it would have appeared to needy to take the opporunity to invite myself. I was tired already, anyway.
I did however ask her if she would come again, ask asked her number. She gave me, was a bit insecure if I ment for dancing next week, I just said "I'll just phone you". She kind of expected my to give mine, but I didn't ;-))))) thanks !!! When she wrote it down she had to look it up! I busted her (but I didnt't really pull it) that she has to look up her own#, and that I hope its not the number of her Schäferhund (famous german dog). I think she liked it, but we didn't laugh fully into the others eyes or so (thats what i LOVE). I had to go an extra way to get pen and paper. How do you solve this if you have to give bag and jacket at the entry? AND IDEAS?
Now what to do:
1) tomorrow is her brithday, I think I'll write her an SMS. that would reveal my numer, however. What do you think?
2) what to do now:
a) go ahead with her prereading & trying BC stuff from later weeks? I think that could be too exhausting
b) just try to go ahead and get some experience
c) should I hook her up to be my dancemate? Dancing with her is really nice but at SALSA you can see/flirt/hug/kiss/lay some REAL hot women, and it's certainly wrong to kind'a settle for something a bit better than now. If I do not do this (this was the key-entry to the number close, somehow), how will I get into that circle with her and her girlfriends??
Seems I have to tell her that I really enjoy dancing with her more often, but that I want to learn and take variety.
I "NEED" YOUR ADVICE HERE, I MEAN I WOULD REALLY APPRECIATE IT !!!
(thank you for your great support on the last days, it's only in upper case since I want people to see it, who are scanning through to see what's going on.

I did also do some convos after entering the room, just some stuff, fun and social proof. even last week I would just sit alone somewhere and look & dring something. (I also did this today, but far from all the time.
Leaving the course I made convo with the teacher U, he's nice and a big social proof, of course.

Then I got some other strong ECs with some 6's and 7's (think I might be a bit underrating maybe you even transmit this which could be a good thing)

What I still have to learn is to turn around smiling and starting a short convo/kino/number close/ instant sex. But you should keep going without getting greedy. I will learn this no later than week 3, mavbe even tomorrow. Let's see.

Just 4 (FOUR) days in the BC made me a new man. I'm not forgetting what I said yesterday, though.

The FUN and RELAY thing is most important. Since the BC is REALLY a boot camp, you have to work and sweat, I found it great inspiration to also read some things in the FANTASTICALLY WISE AND INSPIRING WMS-MANUAL (see bible link). It's also course-like, i started it but didn't go far at all. It has no clear goals (numbers) and time-frames. I think it's a great read parallely, but you have to take care not to overdo it. Don't forget the other things in your life and hang on the bootcamp.

so 9 HI's today , that is 31 down., 19 to go. Friday and Saturday. I will do it.

And, did I forget: SALSA is good for you.


MoveYourA$$...and your brain will follow

 

[MoveYourAss...]

week 1, day 6

Got 6 "countable" Hi's today, nothing special.
Was hard, I didn't really get into it.

Well, 13 left for final day of week 1.

MoveYourA$$...and your brain will follow

 

[MoveYourAss...]

week 1 COMPLETED

50 !!!!!!

I did it!!!!! More HIs to strangers than in so many month...

But it was hard, especially the last 2. But after I reached 50, I had another 3-4 nice ones just like this.

So 7th day mostly men. 2 interesting ones:
"neg": One A$$hole in a group passing thought he had to make fun out of my frozen smile outing me as a fool. The others didn't really laugh with him, just a little bit. Me, however, was glad since 1. I didn't care at all and 2. it may not have been polite, but it was a valuable hint that I have to take care not to overdo it. Before DJing, i would possibly wasted my time and nerves thinking about what an idiot I was and what others thought of me.

"pos": Guy and Girl, me saying HI, the guy was not really used to this. He thus spent quite some time wondering if we know each other from somewhere. So I went back and told them I just found
them nice and just said HI. The girl LOVED it and gave me her best Hi & smile.

I realised that if YOU break initial EC with a girl, it is VERY difficult to reestablish it. She seems to ignore you as a looser or stalker. It may be a way to simply say HI anyway. Today I did my first one of these!!!! I will go further on this.

There were many I didn't count 'cause they were to easy. I did however not manage to only count the ones where I stay physically and mentally relaxed and open after the HI, that was too far out for me still. I did some, however. The GENUITY of the smile is crucial. Since next week will be into convos, I'll have to learn it anyway.

I believe the 2nd week should be easier for me (but walden thought the same things and had some struggles), because I'm starting small convos from time to time. Most of the times, they are rather stiff. In this first week I also noticed an improvement in doing these convos in a relaxed and fun way.

Since I had to spent quite some time to accomplish this first week, and want to improve the relaxation & fun & smile -component of EC and HI, I will do the same thing in the 2nd week, this time only counting the relaxed and fun ones. I want to reach 25 really nice ones.


Today I will chill & celebrate my accomplishment of the 1st week, play some EC, HI & convo (without pressure to evaluate my status before going into practice) and read my new theoretical
background to start no later than tomorrow with the new challenges.

Ah, other things: making your flat a nice, tidy place to hang out and good, new music works wonders! Thanks for including suggestions in the BC and into WMS.

A rebirthed DJ greating you,


MoveYourA$$...and your brain will follow

 

[MoveYourAss...]

week 2, day 1

gave myself a break today, almost only the reading.

While I was out I realized that people are taking more notice of me, making EC and even HI me. Before BC I couldn't even have noticed cause I was looking away quickly / down all the time.

I did several EC and HI WITHOUT "switching" to DJ mode, just automatically. This is an incredible improvement compared to my past.

However, I realized that there is still much practice needed to learn and to burn into my brain, and that it's really good that the BC goes on. It would be to easy to settle down satisfied with the achievement, which is great, but only a first step.

Music tip: "I got to move", James Brown.

 

[Porky]

First of all, fantastic job. Keep up the good work, and don't forget to write in here.

How do you solve this if you have to give bag and jacket at the entry? AND IDEAS?

Receipt in wallet. Most of my numbers are written on old receipts that I just put in my wallet after buying something.

 

[MrCode]

Keep it up man, you are doing a great job. I'm also doing the boot camp (but a little behind you), so I know what it feels like.

It can be hard at times, but it is SO worth it.

Check out my boot camp thread when you get a chance. There are also other boot camp threads all linked in this thread. You should get yours added there too.

 

[MoveYourAss...]

receipt in wallet

Thanks for the advice, Porky.

i do that already. now I changed to often carrying no wallet, but the paper thing is ok. But there is still the PEN problem. Ifind it a bit non-elegant to hop-off & come back to get a pen.

how do you solve this detail?

MoveYourA$$... and your brain will follow

 

[MoveYourAss...]

week 2, day 2

Good day in the end, again some warm up in the afternoon.

EC and Hi improving from a little lowered level yesterday. I have it with a bit more fun. Even in full-jerk environment I get much more respect as I used to.

The convo thing is not easy, I have to tell you. Perfect design of the BC babysteps here. Since the reading is a lot and its mainly technical (great intro, though). There could be some motivational post included here.

Most of my convos where too short. I realized however how positively people react. You really do them a favour.

Got a nice conversation in a bar, taking a seat on the table of a guy. Would very probably not have done that without BC, maybe not even gone out.
Hi turned out to be a high potential wing-man

So: níce day.

But I can't fool you, you're looking for the facts:

1 down,
9 to go.

4 more days...

MoveYourA$$ and your brain will follow

 

[Porky]

Just carry a pen around in your pocket.

Or get a really cool pocket protector!!

 

[MoveYourAss...]

week 2, day 3

some short convos, probably not 2 minutes. One with a nice one in the supermarket. She was rceptive, but I just chickened with thoughts or "and if she has a boyfriend ?". I know, I know, but thats the way it was.

I think I have to open more to people physically (and mentally, of course) to welcome them into a response (and give up "protection" by facing them with my whole front body). I'm rather good at throwing a witty comment, but to follow up from this has not been my strength in the past.
It's related to an EC & HI-issue, where I am getting better and better. However, I still often simply pass instead of turning myself to the other one.
---

at night 1 barely countable convo. Nothing more up to now

Phew, got to get goin'

2 down, 8 to go

MoveYourA$$... and your brain will follow

 

[MoveYourAss...]

week 2, day 3

Stronger beginning, people accnowledge and Hi me. However, I look away afterwards and do not continue. This was the same last week after nice Hi's. Its again a relaxation and fun thing.
This BC experience is very revealing.

I figured out that I don't have to be prepared for the next step/comment. I could be enough in many cases to just turn to the other slowly, EC, observe and wait. Just initiate and wait. Don't think so much. I will try this the next times, just gotta stay cool.

Later it got worse, till I thought "this is not acceptable" and just took up a convo with a FBAFC just in front and we had a bit of the way together. He was rather insecure with this, and didn't really want it, I guess. (He didn't say something, nor was I unpolite or anything). So this was my first convo today, and I didn't care what he thought. , it warmed me up.

Later I had anotherone with a 5-6 in a bar, went so so. Both convos still rather interview-like, But I took reasonable care of EC, asking open questions and stuff. Got to get more practice on this. I will definitely talk to more strangers from now on.
They enrich your life, a glimpse into another reality (ok, these ones where not soo dramatic).

In general, I'm exchanging more words with the people I've to deal with and keep more EC. This alone is already a great justificatoin of the BC for me. Imagine next weeks...

Score: 4 down, 6 to go. This is manageable, but I have to focus on the fun side, otherwise next week will be hard.

MoveYourA$$... and your brain will follow

 

[MoveYourAss...]

week 2, day 6

report on 2 days
yesterday 0. Period.
Today 3. EC and HI much more normal, chatting up people briefly also greatly imroved.
Still difficult to keep it goin, I think humor is the best to loosen the tension. I myself am still gettin' tense and "polite" in these situations.

I was at a "party", a bit small and lame, didn't know anybody (0), and talked to some peole and got some social proof out of it. One of the guys later was talking to a girl and greeted me friendly when I came back. However, I didn't take the oportunity to introduce myself. Same thing when I left, I have to do a round & shake hands with the people. This should just be such an easy thing to do.

However, the progress is remarkable, I used to be one of the guys who'd stick to people I knew and to be passiv and boring. It made it more difficult for me to see that I need training cause I always did have rare (rare !) sparks of genius DJing, that even got me some HB. Funny, ot mostly was when I decided that that night, I would go and have her, at all costs. Works like charm...(well, not always). I just had NO IDEA and some boldness & sometimes luck.

I'm still mainly talking to the not-so-HB and the ones near "omega", which sometimes brings me down, since next week I want to talk to ten HB, and I want to have fun doin it.
It's practice, practice & practice.


Through hardship to the stars.

7 down, 3 to go tomorrow.


MoveYourA$$... and your brain will follow