New approach to 'dating'

[Pierce Manhammer]

I've been at the game for a good long time after a divorce several years ago. I like to think I've been relatively successful at seduction, I've logged in ~200 notches since 2016 with the majority being better than average on the scale of attraction and a good passel of hotties.

I'm used to first-night lays, like its been a very long time since I've allowed a woman to put up LMR and not work through it. I've had a serious LTR and several mini-relationships, but mostly have been tearing it up.

As I age, I've become more about spending my precious time with women of the highest value I can garner, which means the whole package.

With my latest interest, I'm doing something I NEVER EVER HAVE. I'm doing the classic courtship dance, like old school. I've allowed us to meet up for physical activities, like backcountry hikes, had her over for dinner and pool time, etc. We have fun conversations and I genuinely like this gal, like yeah I wanna annihilate it, but she could also be a good friend.

I'm really good at reading a woman - attraction queues, level of interest, subconscious tells, etc. In the past, if I sensed a whiff of resistance to advance I'd eject promptly after attempting LMR countermeasures unsuccessfully (rare but happened).

This gal is new on the scene after a bad breakup a couple of years ago and has been hesitant, not resistant but very very hesitant. Things are improving every time we meet, she definitely is reacting to advances progressively. She's begun reacting to subtle verbal queues and we are finally to the passionate snog stage, she allows touch and caresses pretty much all over, but I'm proceeding very gently. She's begun to react verbally in a positive fashion and suggests escalation, with every planned meet.

In times past I was always a sex first relationship last guy. This time I'm enjoying the classic courtship chase, it's been decades since I've done it and it is somehow comforting.

Of course, I'm still smashing plates daily, so I surmise that it affects my outcome independence and allows me to enjoy this interlude as it unfolds.

To the older scallywags in this subforum, have you experienced any changes in your approach as you've begun to age?

 

[Modern Man Advice]

I've been at the game for a good long time after a divorce several years ago. I like to think I've been relatively successful at seduction, I've logged in ~200 notches since 2016 with the majority being better than average on the scale of attraction and a good passel of hotties.

I'm used to first-night lays, like its been a very long time since I've allowed a woman to put up LMR and not work through it. I've had a serious LTR and several mini-relationships, but mostly have been tearing it up.

As I age, I've become more about spending my precious time with women of the highest value I can garner, which means the whole package.

With my latest interest, I'm doing something I NEVER EVER HAVE. I'm doing the classic courtship dance, like old school. I've allowed us to meet up for physical activities, like backcountry hikes, had her over for dinner and pool time, etc. We have fun conversations and I genuinely like this gal, like yeah I wanna annihilate it, but she could also be a good friend.

I'm really good at reading a woman - attraction queues, level of interest, subconscious tells, etc. In the past, if I sensed a whiff of resistance to advance I'd eject promptly after attempting LMR countermeasures unsuccessfully (rare but happened).

This gal is new on the scene after a bad breakup a couple of years ago and has been hesitant, not resistant but very very hesitant. Things are improving every time we meet, she definitely is reacting to advances progressively. She's begun reacting to subtle verbal queues and we are finally to the passionate snog stage, she allows touch and caresses pretty much all over, but I'm proceeding very gently. She's begun to react verbally in a positive fashion and suggests escalation, with every planned meet.

In times past I was always a sex first relationship last guy. This time I'm enjoying the classic courtship chase, it's been decades since I've done it and it is somehow comforting.

Of course, I'm still smashing plates daily, so I surmise that it affects my outcome independence and allows me to enjoy this interlude as it unfolds.

To the older scallywags in this subforum, have you experienced any changes in your approach as you've begun to age?

Good stuff brother. And yes, 100%!

I think the older that I get the less mental capacity I have to convince people to be part of my life. This goes for women. I stopped "chasing" a while ago. I think its a great approach to simply create a genuine connection aka go old school.

Coincidentally, my last LTR came from a girl that wanted to bring me to her place (she was kinda drunk and young so didn't judge at the time) and I refused. I think not being p***y whipped transpires a strong sense of self-worth or high value depending on how you define that.

At the end of the day, there is an art and joy in slow escalation and exploration that happens when you are getting to know someone. Take your time and enjoy that discovery phase. Build that relationship (if that is what you want) upon something meaningful.


Modern Man Advice

 

[Black Widow Void]

Having had this experience, I’ll be glad to provide a perspective. However, to my surprise, it looks like we may be sparring a little beforehand.

200 new lays since 2016? Mathematically that’s a brand new lay every 10 days. Realizing that sometimes we don’t seal the deal – not every time of course. And when it’s good, we go back for seconds or thirds, your stats… lead me to wonder if there’s a little bit of embellishing going on here. After all, we all need some recharge time without women, some down time with our friends, and as mentioned above, none of us are ever going to seal the deal 100%, and we’re always going to return to that which is good some other day for a second or third helping.

Still spinning plates while investing time into someone you think might be special? It’s been my experience, that the high-end and self-respecting women aren’t going stick around if you keep confusing them with other women (this always happens when we keep multiple side dishes around).

Anytime I’ve juggled more than two in the same rotation, I’m always going to screw up the rapport. That’s human nature, and we all will.

For instance; “how was tour tennis game? “ “Oh I don’t play tennis. “ …. Oops that’s what I mean guys, we screw up stories which brings me to how I handle things.

If it’s someone I look at as potential relationship material, I’m going to allow some breathing room. This isn’t to suggest that I’m getting too serious to soon with someone. It’s based on past experience and inevitable potential landmines.

Having one side dish (if we’re open to more when a particular girl) is about the most we want to juggle.

‘Low hanging fruit’ type women will tolerate more… but those with more options and if higher caliber aren’t going to issue nearly as many ‘hall-passes’ (no matter our looks, attitude etc…)

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

My stats and your interpretation of them notwithstanding. I’ve been able to do things like bang 2-3 women a day for a long time, goes in phases and yes I’ve done it, and still do sometimes.

The only reason I brought up stats is that I’ve been a ripe bastard for years, and now am enjoying something very different, not to impress the assembled.

Everything is situational, the details of how this person and I interact is irrelevant as well and how I am able to stay in meaningful contact, and spend quality time with her is part of my gifts, which I leverage like a solingen steel blade. I’m managing 3 other active spinners, and a couple that are on a much wider orbit - it works. Once I experience this one biblically I will make my decision to pursue more and consider monogamy.

All this to ask other slayers if they too have changed their approach to what now matters .

Having had this experience, I’ll be glad to provide a perspective. However, to my surprise, it looks like we may be sparring a little beforehand.

200 new lays since 2016? Mathematically that’s a brand new lay every 10 days. Realizing that sometimes we don’t seal the deal – not every time of course. And when it’s good, we go back for seconds or thirds, your stats… lead me to wonder if there’s a little bit of embellishing going on here. After all, we all need some recharge time without women, some down time with our friends, and as mentioned above, none of us are ever going to seal the deal 100%, and we’re always going to return to that which is good some other day for a second or third helping.

Still spinning plates while investing time into someone you think might be special? It’s been my experience, that the high-end and self-respecting women aren’t going stick around if you keep confusing them with other women (this always happens when we keep multiple side dishes around).

Anytime I’ve juggled more than two in the same rotation, I’m always going to screw up the rapport. That’s human nature, and we all will.

For instance; “how was tour tennis game? “ “Oh I don’t play tennis. “ …. Oops that’s what I mean guys, we screw up stories which brings me to how I handle things.

If it’s someone I look at as potential relationship material, I’m going to allow some breathing room. This isn’t to suggest that I’m getting too serious to soon with someone. It’s based on past experience and inevitable potential landmines.

Having one side dish (if we’re open to more when a particular girl) is about the most we want to juggle.

‘Low hanging fruit’ type women will tolerate more… but those with more options and if higher caliber aren’t going to issue nearly as many ‘hall-passes’ (no matter our looks, attitude etc…)

 

[PRW63]

I've been at the game for a good long time after a divorce several years ago. I like to think I've been relatively successful at seduction, I've logged in ~200 notches since 2016 with the majority being better than average on the scale of attraction and a good passel of hotties.

To the older scallywags in this subforum, have you experienced any changes in your approach as you've begun to age?

Yea,...at nearly 60yo,...the difference is I stop believing guys claimed n-counts and how good lookin' the chicks were.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

The difference in what? What does another man’s number have to do with you changing your approach and what you enjoy?

Yea,...at nearly 60yo,...the difference is I stop believing guys claimed n-counts and how good lookin' the chicks were.

 

[EyeBRollin]

For me, I’m just over women completely. And I’m only 32. They’re not worth the trouble they cause. Sex is easy to get and come by. It’s become stale to me. Beyond sex few women offer anything else of value.

I started feeling this way at 30.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

The idea of doing what I am isn't what I am looking for with my post. What I am looking for is feedback from those who feel the way I do, not necessarily because they have been where I have, but because they feel the way I do now. It doesn't need to be this way for You, you don't even need to agree that I should be doing it.

This often happens with posts here, where people fail to reply to the actual question being posed and instead they focus on a peripheral detail that is of interest to them, not the OP. I'm sure I've done it and contributed to the derailment of threads.

For me, I’m just over women completely. And I’m only 32. They’re not worth the trouble they cause. Sex is easy to get and come by. It’s become stale to me. Beyond sex, few women offer anything else of value.

I started feeling this way at 30.

 

[Dr.Suave]

To answer Ops question, yes. Ive been more outcome indifferent and seems like I got better results becuase of it. At some point I just started triple booking dates, go out with the hottest one and bail on the other girls.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear OP, Shvagging 2-3 Chickie Babes a Day? I thought your name was Simpson not Sampson!......In a long and some might say debauched life,I only ever managed it the once...more strength to your elbow!

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

why is this such a stretch? Certainty doable if you’re high libido and in shape. 2 is much more common 3 is rarer and I’ve only ever fit 4 into a very long day a handful of times.

Dear OP, Shvagging 2-3 Chickie Babes a Day? I thought your name was Simpson not Sampson!......In a long and some might say debauched life,I only ever managed it the once...more strength to your elbow!

 

[Augustus_McCrae]

I've been at the game for a good long time after a divorce several years ago. I like to think I've been relatively successful at seduction, I've logged in ~200 notches since 2016 with the majority being better than average on the scale of attraction and a good passel of hotties.

I'm used to first-night lays, like its been a very long time since I've allowed a woman to put up LMR and not work through it. I've had a serious LTR and several mini-relationships, but mostly have been tearing it up.

As I age, I've become more about spending my precious time with women of the highest value I can garner, which means the whole package.

With my latest interest, I'm doing something I NEVER EVER HAVE. I'm doing the classic courtship dance, like old school. I've allowed us to meet up for physical activities, like backcountry hikes, had her over for dinner and pool time, etc. We have fun conversations and I genuinely like this gal, like yeah I wanna annihilate it, but she could also be a good friend.

I'm really good at reading a woman - attraction queues, level of interest, subconscious tells, etc. In the past, if I sensed a whiff of resistance to advance I'd eject promptly after attempting LMR countermeasures unsuccessfully (rare but happened).

This gal is new on the scene after a bad breakup a couple of years ago and has been hesitant, not resistant but very very hesitant. Things are improving every time we meet, she definitely is reacting to advances progressively. She's begun reacting to subtle verbal queues and we are finally to the passionate snog stage, she allows touch and caresses pretty much all over, but I'm proceeding very gently. She's begun to react verbally in a positive fashion and suggests escalation, with every planned meet.

In times past I was always a sex first relationship last guy. This time I'm enjoying the classic courtship chase, it's been decades since I've done it and it is somehow comforting.

Of course, I'm still smashing plates daily, so I surmise that it affects my outcome independence and allows me to enjoy this interlude as it unfolds.

To the older scallywags in this subforum, have you experienced any changes in your approach as you've begun to age?

A couple of questions:

Why this woman? Does she seem to be better quality than the other ones you’ve been meeting? To your knowledge, does she have a low N count? How old is she?

How old are you? Are you experiencing some “is that all there is?“ thoughts with regard to just banging different women in a rotation?

-Augustus-

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

She’s attractive and is seemingly less damaged than most, she’s been off market for several years and I believe it given things I’ve observed.

Not sure about N count, has been in LTRs pretty much her whole adult life.

She’s in her mid-40’s I’m in my mid 50’s.

She’s super easy going, she is hitting on all cylinders: attractive, pleasant, adventurous, sleeps well (this is important), she’s intelligent which is quite important to me, doesn’t wear makeup, is active, has a great sense of humor. I’ve found zero red flags so far.

I guess I’m looking for a stable companion, most “smoking hot chicks” have issues like they’re batshyte cray-cray.

On my scale a solid 8,

A couple of questions:

Why this woman? Does she seem to be better quality than the other ones you’ve been meeting? To your knowledge, does she have a low N count? How old is she?

How old are you? Are you experiencing some “is that all there is?“ thoughts with regard to just banging different women in a rotation?

-Augustus-

 

[Augustus_McCrae]

She’s attractive and is seemingly less damaged than most, she’s been off market for several years and I believe it given things I’ve observed.

Not sure about N count, has been in LTRs pretty much her whole adult life.

She’s in her mid-40’s I’m in my mid 50’s.

She’s super easy going, she is hitting on all cylinders: attractive, pleasant, adventurous, sleeps well (this is important), she’s intelligent which is quite important to me, doesn’t wear makeup, is active, has a great sense of humor. I’ve found zero red flags so far.

I guess I’m looking for a stable companion, most “smoking hot chicks” have issues like they’re batshyte cray-cray.

On my scale a solid 8,

Did her parents stay married?

Does she have any children?

And again, you haven’t really stated why you’re considering going down this path (except for being tired of dealing with batshiz crazy women) instead of continuing to do what you’ve been doing.

-Augustus-

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

Yes, yes (empty nester).

I seriously do not know why I decided to try something different, just did. On the first meet we did snog for a while, but there was hesitation and clearly she was not ready for the next step - she clearly wanted to but stopped herself, I attribute it to nerves.

It’s been said that the definition of insanity is to engage in the same behaviors repeatedly expecting different results. Maybe I was just open to it, I certainly was attracted and so was she. Things progressed date to date on the physical front, if they had not probably would not have stayed in the game.

I find her jitters to be endearing, I’m sure there will be discoveries that aren’t great, but so far no red flags.

Did her parents stay married?

Does she have any children?

And again, you haven’t really stated why you’re considering going down this path (except for being tired of dealing with batshiz crazy women) instead of continuing to do what you’ve been doing.

-Augustus-

 

[Augustus_McCrae]

Yes, yes (empty nester).

I seriously do not know why I decided to try something different, just did. On the first meet we did snog for a while, but there was hesitation and clearly she was not ready for the next step - she clearly wanted to but stopped herself, I attribute it to nerves.

It’s been said that the definition of insanity is to engage in the same behaviors repeatedly expecting different results. Maybe I was just open to it, I certainly was attracted and so was she. Things progressed date to date on the physical front, if they had not probably would not have stayed in the game.

I find her jitters to be endearing, I’m sure there will be discoveries that aren’t great, but so far no red flags.

The fact that her parents stayed married and that she’s an empty nester are both good signs.

To answer to your original question, yes, as I got older and more experienced my perspective on things changed.

I was 58 when I met the woman that I’m currently with, she was 46. Both of her parents were still married, she was an empty nester, raised with very traditional values. And she’s pretty mentally stable with low drama, which is a big thing for me.

It took her a little longer than the average woman to get to the physical stage. However, because I was getting laid on a regular basis by a couple of other women, It wasn’t an issue. Also, it was an indication that she had a low N count, which was something I was interested in.

i’ll be 65 this year and while sex is still important and I still enjoy it, it’s not as much of a driving force as it used to be.

-Augustus-

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

Yup, same here, I was somehow pretty amused, as I've always been one to break through or eject. The nervous laughter and giggling on advances was a tell, she was genuinely aroused but jittery. That's catnip for a predator.

I could tell that she was (what I perceive to be) brutally honest with me about her past. Everything progressed though and getting laid elsewhere made it just OK.

Not sure I'll be hanging up my six-shooters any time soon, my old man was banging into his 90's regularly and I hope to carry the familial coat of arms that long as well...

It took her a little longer than the average woman to get to the physical stage. However, because I was getting laid on a regular basis by a couple of other women, It wasn’t an issue. Also, it was an indication that she had a low N count, which was something I was interested in.