New and Need advice!

[cltcdr]

Edited for easier reading.
-Met new girl who had high IL
-Failed to escalate due to my LTR and girl kept pursuing 6 months
-Finally caved after LTR, escalated to more than just side action
-Kissed, messed around for weeks, etc
-Girl never lost interest, she brought out everything to table, both had feelings
-All good until she pulled the LJBF, I pulled the nice to known you, enjoy your life
-She didn't think I would say that to her, My take she went back to her Ex
-NC for 7 days now
-NC day 3 and 4, she looked despressed per friends-cause of me
-What to do next? Should reconcile or keep NC? Gut tells me she still get feelings

 

[cltcdr]

Past weekend she seemed not herself, still chased me around work, wanted to see me but not as much contact via phone. So anyways kiss her bye Sunday after talked for a few. Then Monday goes by, then Tuesday, she doesn't text me. So being stubborn a$$ I am, I don't text. She ends up texting me Wednesday "And you no text me because". So I said well wasn't sure if you lost your phone already or not. She gets to talking story for a little bit then, she hits me with the LJBF's talk. She likes me more as a friend, blah blah, blah. Tells me she is an a$$ sometimes, she is sorry, etc. I no respond, so she says "Guess you don't want to talk to me I understand". So I say "Idk what you want me to say". So she goes on telling me I don't have to say anything. I tell her "One question, what changed about your upfront feelings before".

She says idk, I just get over things really fast and that's just the way she is and she was sorry again. Well my ignorant side came out cause I see she wanted to keep me around cause I am sure she ran back to her safety net. Well my response after she told me that "Well it was nice to have known you and I appreciate what we shared. Enjoy your life."  I think she was expecting me to beg for her back cause I did catch a lot of feelings kind of quick too. She says "Wow ok ya same to u". I left it at that.  

I hide my emotions, deep down I wanted to talk to her but I didn't when I worked with her this past weekend, first day we kind of avoided each other, crossed paths a few times, I made eye contact and then just kept moving. Few friends at work knew the situation and know her, they walked by in passing and said hi to her, well they said she looked depressed and sounded depressed when she said hi to them. When I walked by and they were in the area, she stared at me walk by and had that look like please turn and talk to me. I stayed my cool, happy guy approach with everyone around. Usually I would help her a lot at work and we would be together a lot, always making her smile, always making her laugh, etc. Well it sucked inside to do NC but I did it. All I know is that I think she is lying about liking me as a friend and she was just too scared to tell me she ran back to her bf. So what is the next move? Keep NC forever? Idk if she is for real or not with this whole friend thing. I really do think she lied on that part just from her actions and reactions but if not she is messed up in the head.

 

[Beetlesales]

DID NOT READ.

What type of advice do you want?

 

[cltcdr]

Other post did not show up.
After NC, what to do? Can tell girl is depressed but dunno if she playing me at same time.

 

[Beetlesales]

I don't quite understand your story.. So let me try to clarify with cliffs.

-Met new girl who had high IL
-Failed to escalate and girl kept pursuing
-Finally caved, still failed to escalate, girl starts losing interest
-Kissed, talked for days, weeks, etc
-Girl lost interest because you did too much too soon
-OP is wondering what to do next

Is this right?

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

After NC, what to do? Can tell girl is depressed but dunno if she playing me at same time.

Go out, enjoy yourself and find a fun, happy girl. Depressives aren't looking for fun, they're looking for emotional sponges.

NEXT.

 

[cltcdr]

Appreciate advice. Edited for easier reading and yes I do get feelings for her.
Hasn't slowed me down on going out and meeting other girls.

Just bothering me for some reason probably due to feelings but never phased me before.

 

[3agle 3yes]

...-Kissed, messed around for weeks, etc...

Clarify this part. What exactly did you do when you started getting "serious"?

 

[cltcdr]

When it started getting "serious", nothing changed. Had wild sex like before we had "serious" talk, acted like we was in relationship, spent more time together. Nothing out of ordinary.

 

[Vulpine]

-Met new girl who had high IL
-Failed to escalate due to my LTR and girl kept pursuing 6 months
-Finally caved after LTR, escalated to more than just side action
-Kissed, messed around for weeks, etc
-Girl never lost interest, she brought out everything to table, both had feelings <--- Right there.
-All good until she pulled the LJBF, I pulled the nice to known you, enjoy your life
-She didn't think I would say that to her, My take she went back to her Ex
-NC for 7 days now
-NC day 3 and 4, she looked despressed per friends-cause of me

Without being there, I would say you fuxxed it up during the conversation about feelings.

She laid out the terms and conditions, and you, being a recovering AFC, showed your desperation and kissed her toes.

Ok, new guy, here's where you are prompted by someone to read the bible linked at the bottom of the page, do the boot camp, and start doing the legwork to change. It takes personal effort, not just a magical answer on the internet, to fix your problems.
Read the stickied posts, then hang out in the tips section reading and reading and reading. Don't humiliate yourself with "help me help me!" posts when all the answers you seek are already in 50 places, in 50 different verbages. Find the search function and use it.

She is one chick, there are millions, forget her and focus on yourself.

Welcome, good luck.

 

[3agle 3yes]

I'm going to make an assumption here.

95% of posts from members who join this forum and ask questions like you did here ALWAYS do the same thing.

...we had "serious" talk...spent more time together...

Over familiarity is a pvssy drier. I'm guessing you started sucking up to her too.

Sex is nothing, and it doesn't obligate you to take things "serious".

In general when men jump into a relationship too early it sends the wrong message.

It means they have no other options and are afraid to lose her, make her EARN your appreciation.