Never worked before!!! Why would it now?

[SupaPowa]

I've been reading the DJ Bible and came across something I should have expected and is thus my ultimate fear/weakness...

Being "the jerk"...

Why? Simple...I've tried it plenty of times before and each time without fail. I would litterally get soooo told off I always end up looking like I just got caught stabbing a baby seal in the eye with a pen. Sometimes I'd even get entire groups of people surrounding me and freaking out like I'm the worst movie villain possible. And it's litterally over things no worst than the stuff I'm being TOLD to try by this DJ Bible, DoubleYourDating, That F!?KING "DBOT" kid!! <--- don't worry, more like "envy" than hate...

Anyways...The point is, I can do something meant to mean sooo little in the way of the "jerk" element and yet the consequences are always pretty much morbid...No seriously, it's reeeeeaaaally bad! I'm sick of not knowing how or why and I KNOW I'm not doing anything bad...especially in comparison of what I've been reading just from this site alone...So I guess my question is simply...What do I do about this?

 

[Drdeee]

Jerk: she takes a day off for your date and you tell her you can't plans changed

Jerk: you talk to a girl and she picks up her phone you turn around and talk to other chics

Jerk uses his sexuality and varies his attention toward women to get what he wants. Nice guy is asexual and ushers one particular woman with attention. You need to get a wing or go out with experienced DJ, that will push you forward one giant step.

 

[I'm in the Mood]

When you're being a jerk, what exactly are you doing?

 

[Mike32ct]

Great thread. You just hit on something very important that is NOT discussed in the Community. The bottom line is women can tell who is a real natural jerk / bad boy vs. a nice guy TRYING to be a jerk / bad boy.

There is a MAJOR double standard going on. Women will tolerate jerky lines from a natural jerk / bad boy. But when a nice guy tries it, ALL HELL can BREAK LOOSE.

For example, a natural jerk can use ****y/funny, negging, or even tell a b*tchy/difficult female to STFU. Or he can make a suggestive comment about her breasts. At worst, he gets a dirty look from her or called an a*shole. But nothing else bad happens, generally. Plus, she secretly gets turned on by it.

But if a nice guy approaches a female (or group of females) and tries anything close to that, she will FLIP OUT. You'll have her white knight / captain guy friends threatening you, and you can be kicked out of the bar.

I speak about this from experience. I tried the ****y/funny/negging/jerky stuff and got threatened and kicked out of the bar. I'm a very nice guy and never meant any harm. I was just trying to (makes me gag to say it now) "create attraction" like the "gurus" told me. Yeah right, good luck with that.

If you are a nice guy, do NOT attempt jerk lines. By all means have confidence, use kino, be interesting, don't be too available, don't be a pushover, but forget trying the risque jerk lines. This whole idea that you can steal jerky lines from natural jerks, give them to nice guys and expect positive results is naive and laughable at best and DANGEROUS at worst.

The most you can get away with is maybe ****y and PLAYFUL. Like if she asks for another drink, you could say "Gee, you're really demanding tonight lol <with a sight smirk>." That's probably fine. But save the "over the top lines" for the real natural jerk.

It's too bad it has to be that way. But I'm just giving you reality because the gurus won't.

 

[Iceberg]

If you are a nice guy, do NOT attempt jerk lines. By all means have confidence, use kino, be interesting, don't be too available, don't be a pushover, but forget trying the risque jerk lines. This whole idea that you can steal jerky lines from natural jerks, give them to nice guys and expect positive results is naive and laughable at best and DANGEROUS at worst.

That pretty much sums it up.

The "jerk" thing isn't about spouting some pre-recorded lines. Most women just want you to be a man (ie, not be a needy pushover).

I'm a pretty nice dude. But I still do things that unintentionally piss women off. You know how we complain abut the typical crazy b*tch? Well, women complain about the typical emotionally-unavailable man. And that's me.

I'll take them on nice dates, but I dont respond to their constant texting. I sometimes don't sleep over after sex. I don't pay for their drinks. This isn't something I learned to do. It's just natural. It's me being nice, but still doing what's best for myself instead of bending over backwards to accommodate whatever girl I happen to be sleeping with.

My point is, it's not about being a loud, obnoxious d*ckhead. You can smile. You can be friendly. You can be happy. And that will make you nice. But you can still be a man who has his own life and doesn't bend over backwards to accommodate these girls. Because, let's be honest....the girls are replaceable.

 

[Chamber36]

the nice guy/bad boy idea is relative.

Some girls might think I'm a nice guy, see some of my (imo innocent) fb pictures, and suddenly think I'm a party animal.

As you can see, something similar happened to me recently. I described it in post #14 of this thread

I knew the girls from the coat rack, from back in my AFC days. So now that I'm out of the matrix they're suddenly really pissed off.

It's downpression!!

Even the girl who I never saw before couldn't handle that I didn't put her on a pedestal. She had a pretty face and blonde hair, but her hip/waste ratio was off, so I wasn't intimidated. And then she tried to get a rouse out of me, which she didn't and all hell broke loose!

But like I said it was a good night. Everyone carry on chipping away at their pedestals yeah!

 

[st_99]

Great thread. You just hit on something very important that is NOT discussed in the Community. The bottom line is women can tell who is a real natural jerk / bad boy vs. a nice guy TRYING to be a jerk / bad boy.

There is a MAJOR double standard going on. Women will tolerate jerky lines from a natural jerk / bad boy. But when a nice guy tries it, ALL HELL can BREAK LOOSE.

For example, a natural jerk can use ****y/funny, negging, or even tell a b*tchy/difficult female to STFU. Or he can make a suggestive comment about her breasts. At worst, he gets a dirty look from her or called an a*shole. But nothing else bad happens, generally. Plus, she secretly gets turned on by it.

But if a nice guy approaches a female (or group of females) and tries anything close to that, she will FLIP OUT. You'll have her white knight / captain guy friends threatening you, and you can be kicked out of the bar.

I speak about this from experience. I tried the ****y/funny/negging/jerky stuff and got threatened and kicked out of the bar. I'm a very nice guy and never meant any harm. I was just trying to (makes me gag to say it now) "create attraction" like the "gurus" told me. Yeah right, good luck with that.

If you are a nice guy, do NOT attempt jerk lines. By all means have confidence, use kino, be interesting, don't be too available, don't be a pushover, but forget trying the risque jerk lines. This whole idea that you can steal jerky lines from natural jerks, give them to nice guys and expect positive results is naive and laughable at best and DANGEROUS at worst.

The most you can get away with is maybe ****y and PLAYFUL. Like if she asks for another drink, you could say "Gee, you're really demanding tonight lol <with a sight smirk>." That's probably fine. But save the "over the top lines" for the real natural jerk.

It's too bad it has to be that way. But I'm just giving you reality because the gurus won't.

I agree.

To flip it around I have this friend that happens to be a girl and is ugly but nice and so I have no sexual interest in because of her looks, but when she tries the bad girl, game playing stuff to get attention from me I actually hate her more for it, it doesn't work because I know thats not her and its just makes me annoyed.

 

[SupaPowa]

THANK YOU FELLAS!!
Now THAT'S what I'm talking about! I read all of these responses and they make alot of sense and put ALOT of things into place a little better for me! This should make a huge difference...Seriously, I'm really grateful!

 

[PokerStar]

my suggestion is to say whatever you want. deal with the reaction later.

I admit I can be a jerk/**** to my friends and women who i meet. to be quite honest I say **** just to get a reaction good or bad.

Im not a mean guy or anything. i just like getting reactions from people.

and a laugh at their expense.

 

[perseverance]

Jerk, Player, Bad Boy, AFC, Nice Guy, Passive-Aggressive man with smelly armpits. Why define yourself by a label? Why not define yourself as the man that you want to be?

I find it comical that as to why anybody would want to aspire to becoming a sad, bitter, lonely man who overindulges in mutual masturbation every single weekend. I also find it comical that men will friend-zone themselves, pander to a woman's every whim in the vain hope that women will love them somewhere down the line. Both groups of men are equally worthless in my opinion.

 

[The_411]

It's part of maintaining your frame. It's not about being a jerk but rather not being a pushover. Guys who act like comeplete a-holes tend to be complete a-holes. Sure they get women but usually low quality women (yes they may be hot but they've got daddy issues/ abandonment issues etc.)

Woman want men to be men carouse, curse, fight etc because in doing so it reminds them of their feminity and reinforces a man's maculinity. That's why women resent when they wear the pants because it contrasts to their physiological role as the weaker sex.