aforabi
Don Juan
- Joined
- Apr 8, 2014
- Messages
- 94
- Reaction score
- 42
I have noticed most guys struggling to hold a conversation with a girl.
If they lack experience, here’s what happens: A LOT of energy is wasted just to build up the courage to approach and talk to a girl. And, by the time the conversation starts, they get burned out, and, as a result, run out things to say to a girl.
But, holding a fun and flirty conversation with a woman can be easy (if you know HOW).
I can guarantee you one thing for certain: If you start talking to a woman, and you quickly realise that you’re asking A LOT of questions about her hobbies, school, job, and whether she like music or not -- you know, the sort of questions that make her feel she’s in a job interview or something -- then you’re heading straight to the “friend zone.”
To help you avoid that “dreaded zone,” I’ve compiled a list of 9 simple, yet POWERFUL ways to make sure you’re having a conversation filled with fun and banter -- and, also escalate it to sex… without being too obvious and creepy.
5 Skills for Better Conversations with Women
#1: Avoid Asking Many Questions… Make Statements!
I have noticed that most guys, after they’ve delivered their opener, they immediately start asking A LOT of questions.
Their questions tend to be boring “get to know you” type of questions. You know, the sort of questions your aunt will ask you at a family gettogether.
Asking too many questions can ruin your interaction with women in two different ways: First of all, it bores the hell out of her. Second, it does not allow her to engage in the conversation.
Here’s what usually happens: A guy will jump from question to question, without ever having the sense to dive deep on the topic he can tell that she clearly enjoys talking about.
Try this instead:
Next time you’re having a conversation with a woman and you ask her a question, follow up her answer with a STATEMENT… instead of immediately moving to the next question.
Two interesting things happens when you do this: 1) This will show her that you were actually listening to her, and that… 2) you can “connect” with her at a whole “different level.” And, oftentimes, this will also open up the conversation to more FUN and intimate topics.
Here’s an example:
You: So do you have any pets?
Her: Yeah, I have three of the cutest cats in the world.
You: Mmm… so you are one of those women with cats, huh? (Sly smile)
Her: STOP it… hahaha… no I’m not one of those crazy cat women… I just love my cats.
You: They say people who like cats tend to be more independent than dog lovers.
As you can see, by following up the question with a statement, you are able to expand on the topic and bring a little fun and banter to the conversation.
In my friend Bobby Rio’s Conversation Escalation Program, he offers more examples of what to say to girls.
#2: Qualify Her
Once a man sense any rapport with a woman, he becomes **** scared of breaking that rapport or saying anything that’ll damage his chances of moving forward.
So he stays on “safe” topics.
Unfortunately, this tends to work counter-productive, and usually winds up boring a woman that was previously interested.
Try this instead:
Once you sense that you’ve sparked attraction a little bit, your most important job is to begin qualifying her with questions or statements that place you in the role of “the selector.”
This means, you’ll make a statement that may disqualify her as potential lover.
For example:
You: So do you have any pets?
Her: Yeah, I have three cutest cats in the world.
You: Mmm… We would never get along. I’m a dog person, and what I’ve heard is that dog and cat owners tend to have a really intense sexual connection, but disagree on every other possible point.
As you can see, you took a “safe” topic like pets and were able to bring an element of sexuality to the conversation. Not only that, by making the statement “we would never get along” you’re now placing the burden of approval seeking on her.
#3: Use Cold Reads
As men, we love to talk about facts, events, and amusing surface level stories. While all of these should make up a great deal of your conversation they tend to limit you from certain areas that really seem to ignite passion in a woman.
Women get their “kick” from taking about the mystical, or the deeper level. Women love to delve into the emotional meaning behind the surface level stories, facts, and events.
If you never hint to a woman that you’re capable of communicating on this different wavelength you’re missing out on a great opportunity to separate yourself from other men.
Try this instead:
Next time you’re interacting with women, try using a “cold reading” that will allow you to go beneath the surface level, and get her to open up to some of her feelings. A cold read is simply stating something you’ve noticed about her, and then making a deeper observation about it.
Here’s an example:
You: I can tell just by the way that you are talking there that you are the kind of girl who goes on a lot of dates but has trouble finding someone you’re actually interested in. Then you when you find that person, you usually lose interest very quickly.
Her: Yeah… that’s so true.
You: I bet you really love adventure… sometimes it scares you, but deep down you crave something exciting. And what is probably happening is every time you’re meeting these guys… you sense within that they’re not going to satisfy that adventure you crave.
This particular example allowed you to delve into the mystical and emotional, and also allowed you to disqualify the other guys, and at the same time, present yourself as something new, exciting, and different, who just might be the cure of her ailment.
#4: Talk about things that you are passionate about
Since most men stick to “interview mode” topics like work and school… they seldom have a chance to demonstrate their passionate and excited side to a woman. Instead they talk about topics that bore them, and in turn, bore the woman.
Try this instead:
When you ask a woman what she looks for a in a man, pretty much all women will use the word passionate. While most of the time, I take what women say they want with a grain of salt, in this case, I found this to be completely true.
The fact is, “enthusiasm breeds enthusiasm.”
When you talk to a woman, talk about the things you are passionate and enthusiastic about. Having passion towards something can take a relatively-mundane subject like cooking, and elevate it to an engrossing conversation.
If you love travel, let her get a sense of what exactly excites you about seeing the world. If you’re into building your business, let her see the leader in you, let your entrepreneurial spirit shine through. If you love music, or art, or movies, don’t hide it.
This doesn’t mean brag about your knowledge of these subjects it means explain what about them really drive you. Women like men with drive, men who know what they want and go after it, let women see that side of you.
#5: Tease her
When most men approach a beautiful woman, they put her on a pedestal… and because of this they tend to treat her like she is royalty. Most men become deathly afraid of offering her. They become so worried about looking cool or coming up with the perfect thing to say, that the conversation quickly fizzles out.
As I previously discussed in how to make women laugh, women want a guy that is fun to be around. The truth is we are all still children at heart. Although most of us love a good intellectual conversation from time to time, when we are out at a bar or on a date, we just want to relax, laugh a little bit, and have a good time, forgetting about the worries and stress in our life.
And the best way to do that is to keep the conversation playful and FUN.
Try this instead:
First and foremost, the whole point of teasing is to create a fun environment where a woman can loosen up and open up to you. Teasing basically means being silly with a girl. It means treating her the same way you would your bratty little sister. It means picking on her in a fun and flirtatious way.
Here’s the thing: Effective teasing means that you will have to drop you cool guy image for a while and just relax and have some fun with her. Don’t be afraid to be a little goofy.
For example:
Get ready to give her a high five… then pulling your hand away like you changed your mind.
Imitating her.
Suggesting she’s coming on to you.
Tell her an overtly exaggerated lie, and then pick on her for being gullible and believing you.
As you can see, these are the same sort of things you did on the playground in the 4th grade. They worked then, and they’ll work now.
Stay chilled,
Abishek
P.S. Here's another related article on the subject: How To Talk To A Beautiful Woman You Just Met (15 “Killer” Tips)
If they lack experience, here’s what happens: A LOT of energy is wasted just to build up the courage to approach and talk to a girl. And, by the time the conversation starts, they get burned out, and, as a result, run out things to say to a girl.
But, holding a fun and flirty conversation with a woman can be easy (if you know HOW).
I can guarantee you one thing for certain: If you start talking to a woman, and you quickly realise that you’re asking A LOT of questions about her hobbies, school, job, and whether she like music or not -- you know, the sort of questions that make her feel she’s in a job interview or something -- then you’re heading straight to the “friend zone.”
To help you avoid that “dreaded zone,” I’ve compiled a list of 9 simple, yet POWERFUL ways to make sure you’re having a conversation filled with fun and banter -- and, also escalate it to sex… without being too obvious and creepy.
5 Skills for Better Conversations with Women
#1: Avoid Asking Many Questions… Make Statements!
I have noticed that most guys, after they’ve delivered their opener, they immediately start asking A LOT of questions.
Their questions tend to be boring “get to know you” type of questions. You know, the sort of questions your aunt will ask you at a family gettogether.
Asking too many questions can ruin your interaction with women in two different ways: First of all, it bores the hell out of her. Second, it does not allow her to engage in the conversation.
Here’s what usually happens: A guy will jump from question to question, without ever having the sense to dive deep on the topic he can tell that she clearly enjoys talking about.
Try this instead:
Next time you’re having a conversation with a woman and you ask her a question, follow up her answer with a STATEMENT… instead of immediately moving to the next question.
Two interesting things happens when you do this: 1) This will show her that you were actually listening to her, and that… 2) you can “connect” with her at a whole “different level.” And, oftentimes, this will also open up the conversation to more FUN and intimate topics.
Here’s an example:
You: So do you have any pets?
Her: Yeah, I have three of the cutest cats in the world.
You: Mmm… so you are one of those women with cats, huh? (Sly smile)
Her: STOP it… hahaha… no I’m not one of those crazy cat women… I just love my cats.
You: They say people who like cats tend to be more independent than dog lovers.
As you can see, by following up the question with a statement, you are able to expand on the topic and bring a little fun and banter to the conversation.
In my friend Bobby Rio’s Conversation Escalation Program, he offers more examples of what to say to girls.
#2: Qualify Her
Once a man sense any rapport with a woman, he becomes **** scared of breaking that rapport or saying anything that’ll damage his chances of moving forward.
So he stays on “safe” topics.
Unfortunately, this tends to work counter-productive, and usually winds up boring a woman that was previously interested.
Try this instead:
Once you sense that you’ve sparked attraction a little bit, your most important job is to begin qualifying her with questions or statements that place you in the role of “the selector.”
This means, you’ll make a statement that may disqualify her as potential lover.
For example:
You: So do you have any pets?
Her: Yeah, I have three cutest cats in the world.
You: Mmm… We would never get along. I’m a dog person, and what I’ve heard is that dog and cat owners tend to have a really intense sexual connection, but disagree on every other possible point.
As you can see, you took a “safe” topic like pets and were able to bring an element of sexuality to the conversation. Not only that, by making the statement “we would never get along” you’re now placing the burden of approval seeking on her.
#3: Use Cold Reads
As men, we love to talk about facts, events, and amusing surface level stories. While all of these should make up a great deal of your conversation they tend to limit you from certain areas that really seem to ignite passion in a woman.
Women get their “kick” from taking about the mystical, or the deeper level. Women love to delve into the emotional meaning behind the surface level stories, facts, and events.
If you never hint to a woman that you’re capable of communicating on this different wavelength you’re missing out on a great opportunity to separate yourself from other men.
Try this instead:
Next time you’re interacting with women, try using a “cold reading” that will allow you to go beneath the surface level, and get her to open up to some of her feelings. A cold read is simply stating something you’ve noticed about her, and then making a deeper observation about it.
Here’s an example:
You: I can tell just by the way that you are talking there that you are the kind of girl who goes on a lot of dates but has trouble finding someone you’re actually interested in. Then you when you find that person, you usually lose interest very quickly.
Her: Yeah… that’s so true.
You: I bet you really love adventure… sometimes it scares you, but deep down you crave something exciting. And what is probably happening is every time you’re meeting these guys… you sense within that they’re not going to satisfy that adventure you crave.
This particular example allowed you to delve into the mystical and emotional, and also allowed you to disqualify the other guys, and at the same time, present yourself as something new, exciting, and different, who just might be the cure of her ailment.
#4: Talk about things that you are passionate about
Since most men stick to “interview mode” topics like work and school… they seldom have a chance to demonstrate their passionate and excited side to a woman. Instead they talk about topics that bore them, and in turn, bore the woman.
Try this instead:
When you ask a woman what she looks for a in a man, pretty much all women will use the word passionate. While most of the time, I take what women say they want with a grain of salt, in this case, I found this to be completely true.
The fact is, “enthusiasm breeds enthusiasm.”
When you talk to a woman, talk about the things you are passionate and enthusiastic about. Having passion towards something can take a relatively-mundane subject like cooking, and elevate it to an engrossing conversation.
If you love travel, let her get a sense of what exactly excites you about seeing the world. If you’re into building your business, let her see the leader in you, let your entrepreneurial spirit shine through. If you love music, or art, or movies, don’t hide it.
This doesn’t mean brag about your knowledge of these subjects it means explain what about them really drive you. Women like men with drive, men who know what they want and go after it, let women see that side of you.
#5: Tease her
When most men approach a beautiful woman, they put her on a pedestal… and because of this they tend to treat her like she is royalty. Most men become deathly afraid of offering her. They become so worried about looking cool or coming up with the perfect thing to say, that the conversation quickly fizzles out.
As I previously discussed in how to make women laugh, women want a guy that is fun to be around. The truth is we are all still children at heart. Although most of us love a good intellectual conversation from time to time, when we are out at a bar or on a date, we just want to relax, laugh a little bit, and have a good time, forgetting about the worries and stress in our life.
And the best way to do that is to keep the conversation playful and FUN.
Try this instead:
First and foremost, the whole point of teasing is to create a fun environment where a woman can loosen up and open up to you. Teasing basically means being silly with a girl. It means treating her the same way you would your bratty little sister. It means picking on her in a fun and flirtatious way.
Here’s the thing: Effective teasing means that you will have to drop you cool guy image for a while and just relax and have some fun with her. Don’t be afraid to be a little goofy.
For example:
Get ready to give her a high five… then pulling your hand away like you changed your mind.
Imitating her.
Suggesting she’s coming on to you.
Tell her an overtly exaggerated lie, and then pick on her for being gullible and believing you.
As you can see, these are the same sort of things you did on the playground in the 4th grade. They worked then, and they’ll work now.
Stay chilled,
Abishek
P.S. Here's another related article on the subject: How To Talk To A Beautiful Woman You Just Met (15 “Killer” Tips)
