My husband doesn’t have to manipulate me into staying with him. It’s not that kind of marriage Medina.
But if that’s working for you and for her, great, it’s not something I would tolerate personally, my husband sexting and flirting with other women to instill fear or keep me in line or whatever. Focal core talked about respecting oneself and for me I respect myself by not tolerating being treated with disrespect. If someone respects me I will respect them. If they don’t they can f**k off. If anyone wants to call that the feminine imperative, a feminist view, etc, I don’t care.
Wanting to be treated with respect is universal human nature. It’s not just men who are allowed to have self respect, standards and boundaries in relationships.
And I’m pretty sure that if the shoe was on the other foot and it was her that was openly sexting and flirting with other men the story would be much different.
And yes I think that in this day and age, many people are more self absorbed and putting themselves first at all times, men and women. That’s why it is actually less selfish to get married and continue to put yourself first at all times. If someone knows that really, they are not willing nor able to consider the feelings, wants and needs of another person on a long term basis, it is better to be single and casually date. It’s not a slight against them either, it’s just them being true to who they are.