Never go to a party without a condom. NEVER! (Advice needed)

[Ghost.]

A'right, so as you can see this is my first post on this forum. I'm gonna try to not make it tediously long . Feel free to skip the next paragraph if you're not interested in general details (which may help with the reply).

Intro:

Ok so, I'm a 21yo guy who is not a complete failure when it comes to women. I've read some books, watched some vids and I've been pretty successful at applying the stuff I've learned. Made some decent progress over the years.
I still "suck" in some departments, but I'm pretty proud of the fact that I've reached a point in my life where I gladly accept rejection (and not take it personally) as opposed to not taking action at all. I'd take a Yes/No over What Ifs any time, any day.


Situation I need advice with:

I could write this in 300 lines, but since probably no one has the patience to read that I'll try to make it as short as possible while including important details. So yeah, here we go:

Last weekend was my roommates' girlfriend's (R) birthday. I knew everyone who was gonna show up. Few common friends and R's roommate (a small chubby weird and antisocial thing). Every other girl was bringing her bf and they really weren't "all that" anyway. Considering we bought the food and drinks already I decide to leave my wallet at home. No use carrying the damn thing since the chances of me using the condom inside were basically 0 that night.

Anyway, we get there a bit early and I have a few beers with my roommate while R was doing...something. Don't really know what. My mentality at this point is "**** it, I'm not getting laid so I may as well get face-planted tonight. I passed all my finals after all just one day ago". Guests eventually start showing up and I'm spending all my time having a great time with them and sucking on the drinks in my hand. Few hours later this absolute beauty shows up to the party. I was confused as fck as to who the hell this is. Admittedly I already had my premium beer goggles on, but not even a severe case of that can turn the creature R calls a roommate...into this!
Well,turns out the creature moved out about 1 month ago and L is the new roommate. God..how did I not know this.

I spent the next several hours doing mainly 2 things. One - very good, the other - very bad. As soon as she walked in I already started working on physical escalation. We all know how important that is. If she's not comfortable with light touching, she's not comfortable with the heavy touching I was already imagining. That's the good. The bad is, for some reason I was still continuing sucking drinks like a vaccum. I should've stop that exact moment...but I didn't.


Read from here if you're lazy:

Anyway, fastforward a bit and almost everyone leaves. My roommate, his girl, me and L are all that's left. My bro signals me that he's taking his girl back to our place, so I have at least a few hours to kill before going home, as any good roommate would do. They leave and now I'm all alone with L. I continue to escalate, joke, tease, tell her how she's trying to take advantage of a drunk me and that she has to wine and dine me, otherwise I don't put out. All this works like a charm and a few minutes later we're in bed together. I start massaging her back, she loves it, invites me to take her top off and also use the cream over there. I do just that, and continue to escalate. Light kisses all the way to a full-out make-out. At this point, as I like to be prepared, I start searching for my wallet and the holy condom inside. Except...I'm drunk and completely oblivious to the fact that I left it at home. Remembering this fact completely killed it for me. And this is when it starts going downhill. I've managed to successfully ****-block myself in a superb fashion. Things come to a plateau really fast and I literally have no clue how to handle the situation.

It started feeling awkward for me, and I assume for her as well, as a result. Minutes later mixed signals appear. She puts her top back on (bad), but lands her head on my chest (good). Remarks how hard my heart is pounding (which it was because I was mad as fck). She's talking in an affectionate voice(good) but suggests going to sleep(bad). I'm steaming at this point. Meanwhile I was playing around with her body. Pretty much pouring salt all over my wound. "See these beautiful naked breasts in your hands? You could've enjoyed these tonight, idiot!" was what I was telling myself. She only 'protested' when I was about to slide my hand down her pants, jokingly referencing me by saying "Wine first, hihi".

So yeah, we go to sleep, wake up next morning and I'm still getting mixed signals. Admittedly I'm expecting them so I may be misinterpreting. She's just as gorgeous without the beer-goggles which makes me both happy and sad at the same time.Also she is the kind of person who loves to not wake up in the morning so communication is not effective.Getting her phone number seemed very stupid, especially after the night before. I left about 30 minutes later. She walks me to the door, smiling. Gives me a hug ,I kiss her and leave.



That's it:
Aaand...that's it. I need some advice here. First off, what's your thought on this? How bad did I fck up? is it bad bad or horribly bad? Whichever the case I wanna take a shot at this. Except I don't know how.
Don't have her number and I don't wanna ask her roommate for it because it's lame as fck.
Second option is to look her up on facebook, which is almost as lame.
Third, best case scenario and literally 100% impractical is hoping to randomly bump into her. Face to face conversation would be the easiest way to patch this up and set up a day2. But it's obviously very impractical.
I also can't casually walk over to their place for no reason. That would be painfully obvious.

So yeah, thanks for reading this tediously long post about me absolutely ****-blocking myself. Now, after you're done laughing your ass off, please consider leaving some advice .

 

[Greasy Pig]

You could've at least got a load away OP! Fvck!
I've been in that situation many times and still managed a bl0wjob or wristy. I'd get the number off the flat mate, re-establish rapport and organise a drinking session pronto.

 

[Ghost.]

Yeah, I could've. If my brain functioned at least half properly I probably would have too. I don't even know how that didn't occur to me at the time .

I'm gonna wait 1-2 more days before doing anything, meanwhile maybe I'll get more suggestions.

 

[EpiphoneGT]

Don't get completely ****faced either. Just get buzzed enough that you can seduce more effectively with none of the drawbacks.

There is a sweet spot.

 

[Ghost.]

Don't get completely ****faced either. Just get buzzed enough that you can seduce more effectively with none of the drawbacks.

There is a sweet spot.

Yea, I know that was a mistake. I just really didn't expect there to be any girl worth my time at that party. And then, well...I didn't stop, for some reason.

 

[gravityeyelids]

Haha okay a couple things here:

1) Why did you not progress to fooling around even without the condom? I mean yea i know it sucks to get to that point and not bone....but you should've fingered and/or gone down on her in exchange for a blowski. (Personally, I would have raw dogged it....but i'm kind of stupid and recklesss when it comes to that)

2) The only reason it was awkward is because you made it awkward. Getting pissed at yourself halfway through fooling around and stopping and making it awkward? Cmon man. I mean you got some mild LMR ("wine first"), which you may or may not have been able to power through any way. Depending on how you would have handled it..even if you had a rubber there's go guarantee she was going that far that night. She might've made you wait until day 2 or 3 for the lay.

3) WHY DID YOU NOT PULL HER NUMBER THE NEXT MORNING? That was the opportune time. Your only options at this point to get in contact with her again are to either wait until you happen to see her in person at another party or whatever, or hope that she has high enough interest to get your number from her roommate and text you (unlikely unless she's very forward). You're right: searching her out on FB, asking her roommate for her number, or walking over there are all pretty much equally lame.

You shouldnt be searching for the condom before you're fooling around with her anyways. If she notices you doing that before she's even turned on, thats almost a surefire way for her to stop you and tell you you're not having sex and probably prevent you from getting blown or anything at all.

You did fine, your only problem was beating yourself up over it. Fvck it. You forgot a condom...so what? Either rawdog it or don't bone her just yet. There's no point in worrying about it. She probably just thought you were too drunk or tired. Either that or you didn't get her hot enough to want to go further at that point anyway.

 

[Ghost.]

Haha okay a couple things here:

1) Why did you not progress to fooling around even without the condom? I mean yea i know it sucks to get to that point and not bone....but you should've fingered and/or gone down on her in exchange for a blowski. (Personally, I would have raw dogged it....but i'm kind of stupid and recklesss when it comes to that)

2) The only reason it was awkward is because you made it awkward. Getting pissed at yourself halfway through fooling around and stopping and making it awkward? Cmon man. I mean you got some mild LMR ("wine first"), which you may or may not have been able to power through any way. Depending on how you would have handled it..even if you had a rubber there's go guarantee she was going that far that night. She might've made you wait until day 2 or 3 for the lay.

3) WHY DID YOU NOT PULL HER NUMBER THE NEXT MORNING? That was the opportune time. Your only options at this point to get in contact with her again are to either wait until you happen to see her in person at another party or whatever, or hope that she has high enough interest to get your number from her roommate and text you (unlikely unless she's very forward). You're right: searching her out on FB, asking her roommate for her number, or walking over there are all pretty much equally lame.

You shouldnt be searching for the condom before you're fooling around with her anyways. If she notices you doing that before she's even turned on, thats almost a surefire way for her to stop you and tell you you're not having sex and probably prevent you from getting blown or anything at all.

You did fine, your only problem was beating yourself up over it. Fvck it. You forgot a condom...so what? Either rawdog it or don't bone her just yet. There's no point in worrying about it. She probably just thought you were too drunk or tired. Either that or you didn't get her hot enough to want to go further at that point anyway.

1) I really have no good answer to why I did not progress. I don't remember exactly what was going through my mind. Alcohol tends to have that effect, apparently. As far as raw dogging ... I leave the house without a condom the first time in 7 years and this happens. With that kind of luck raw dogging would've landed me triplets, hahah. Seriously though, not really a big fan of bare bone with someone I just met a few hours ago.

2) I didn't stop or get mad, but I didn't escalate either, so it came to a plateau pretty fast. But yea, it was stupid nonetheless. As far as making me wait...no. It was painfully obvious how much she wanted it. I'd say she was inches away from putting up sings around the room reading ("ESCALATE, YOU MORON!).
Anyway, I can't help but feel that an at least half-functional brain would've created a different outcome.

3) Honestly, considering the night before wasn't the best experience either of us ever had, going for a number seemed...cheezy. Somehow. I'm quite certain I would've gotten it but my gut insisted I let things cool a few days. I thought I'd figure something out.


Getting it from her roomie is lame, yeah, but I'm short on alternatives. I mean she's been living there for 2 months and I was completely unaware of that fact. Waiting seems like a bad choice.

Also, if I do it get it from the roomie, I'm quite confident that I can play if off. If she confronts me about it I'll just fend it off with a fun reply. Tell her I had some witch-doctor pull it from a crystal ball or whatever.

Thanks for the reply. Really appreciate the insight .

 

[Bingo-Player]

Ouch you really shot yourself in the foot here lol; we’ve all been there though i wouldn’t beat yourself up too much over it just one of those things

I agree with that eyelids and pig have already said but a couple of questions anyway......

How drunk was she while all this went down?

Did you get her trousers off? Not panties just trousers?

The way you post , focusing so much on your mistakes, makes it difficult to read what her emotions were like ....can you describe what sort of IOI’s she was giving ?

And finally what was the problem with going bareback? Tbh i aim go bare everytime unless she says otherwise

Condoms royally fvck the moment regardless of what you do should of told her to take a trip down the chemist the next morning

Anyway yea get the number off the roommate i don’t see the issue with that pretty standard imo

Also i would never bring this episode up with her ever again forget it happened

 

[Masculinity]

It sounds like an inner-game issue. Things did not work perfectly, so you began to worry and went down a slippery slope. It appears that your mental state caused you to view the whole thing as a failure to the point where you did not close a woman who slept next to you for hours. I don't want to put you down, but that a huge mistake--learn from it. LMR (resistance to have sex; i.e., "wine first") is very common unless the girl is a slut or hasn't had sex in a long time. I would have kept escalating until she stopped you. And even then, it really pays off to be persistent (unless of course, she is being serious about it). In that case, you have to be careful with the whole rape argument.

In a nutshell, I wouldn't lose hope with this girl. She obviously likes you and banging a woman the first night you meet her is not a must. If anything, you already got a green light from her "wine first" comment. What I don't seem to understand is why the heck you didn't give her any alcohol then and there, which would have clearly made things easier for you. Since you didn't, though, I would use that "door inside" to get her back to your place. Tell her that you're cooking for her--girls love that--and that you want to watch a movie. I would be surprised if you don't get a full close. She basically wanted to get drunk first before proceeding to bang you and who knows what else. In fact, most guys here would agree that women like having an escape route for their reasoning behind having sex with a guy. That is, when her girls ask why she had sex so quickly, she can just blame it on the alcohol.

I had a similar experience with a girl giving me a lot of IOIs who suddenly tried to friend-zone me. It was initially surprising, but I persisted and won. Here is the outcome, where you can also find the sh!t tests she threw at me: http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=217471

Improvise in these situations in the future. Keep us updated. I want to know how this situation turns out.

 

[Ghost.]

@Bingo

She wasn't all that drunk. Maybe a liitle buzzed, at most.

Didn't get trousers off. She wasn't wearing any. Just some ridiculously short shorts.

About the IOI's, besides constantly asking for / initiating kino, inviting me to take her top off and laughing at all the retarded jokes I was making....well, I think that's enough already.


@Robyn

There may be some inner-game issues. Still, failing is the highway to success. Past me wouldn't have even taken the chance, so that's a success in itself. I have been out of the game for quite some time though. 1, maybe 2 years, give or take. I do feel a bit rusty, tbh.


Anyway, I managed to smoothly get L's number from her roommate in a non-lame way. However the conversation with L didn't go exactly great, which I was somewhat expecting. I'll post it right here:

Me: Leo? Lea? L..Lio? Still struggling with the name, but I won't ask for any glasses of water, promise ).

L: Lia ).

Me: Very creative reply. Are you in arts? Ever though about writing a book ? )

L: Itchy fingers Ghost? ) Did you address me a question that I did not answer?

Me: Ooh, look, she got jokes. I may have liked you more after you've obviously slipped something in my drink. Not properly understanding you had it's charm.


This happened around 10 PM. She was replying instantly, while I was waiting 5-10 minutes in between. Still, she stopped after my last message. I obviously stopped as well. Wishful thinking says she went to sleep, but I evolved beyond that.


So yeah, feel free to critique the convo, throw in your own 2 cents, and most importantly also add some advice as to how I should proceed.


PS: Before you jump my bones, yes, I am spinning other plates. 3 of them. And all 3 are very receptive. There's really no issue there. This girl however, well, you be the judge of that.

 

[Ghost.]

Hate myself for doing this, but, up .

 

[jurry]

Can feel your nervousness through the text. Comes off as trying too hard.. Keep it casual and light, joke around, talk nonsense, and ask her to meet up. You "dont have time" for long back and forth getting to know you questions.

 

[Mike32ct]

I'm late to the post, so I'll start here.

Never go to a party with bringing balloons lol. Couldn't resist.

As I said before, F-ing up in this game and missing an opportunity is a good thing because it's a mistake you won't make again. My best scores were always AFTER I messed up a golden opportunity. When I would miss an opportunity, it would really put fire under my arse to "redeem myself."

You have the looks and skill to pull. So while it didn't go the way you wanted, it will turn out to be a blessing in disguise in a few weeks or months (or less).

The text game could use a little work though. It's like you are trying to get a reaction out of her. It wasn't bad at all until your last paragraph. It was like multiple c&f strikes at once. Instead of being playful, it was like going on attack.

But starting out with the name guessing was cool.

 

[Bingo-Player]

I think you need to have a word with your roommate and get him to have a word with his gf about the 4 of you going for some “drinks”

i think the texting although funny is slightly too much and too complex for the early stages with this girl especially after what happened and as jurry says it looks as though you are trying too hard to impress


=“About the IOI's, besides constantly asking for / initiating kino, inviting me to take her top off and laughing at all the retarded jokes I was making....well, I think that's enough already.”

If she is indeed this into you , you just need to chill out she will come for your d*ck just give her a chance

 

[Ghost.]

I'm late to the post, so I'll start here.

Never go to a party with bringing balloons lol. Couldn't resist.

As I said before, F-ing up in this game and missing an opportunity is a good thing because it's a mistake you won't make again. My best scores were always AFTER I messed up a golden opportunity. When I would miss an opportunity, it would really put fire under my arse to "redeem myself."

You have the looks and skill to pull. So while it didn't go the way you wanted, it will turn out to be a blessing in disguise in a few weeks or months (or less).

The text game could use a little work though. It's like you are trying to get a reaction out of her. It wasn't bad at all until your last paragraph. It was like multiple c&f strikes at once. Instead of being playful, it was like going on attack.

But starting out with the name guessing was cool.

Laughed at the balloon joke. More than I should have, hahah.

Thank you for the criticism about my text game. It really does help. You're right about the last paragraph.


@Bingo I guess it could come across that way. Last paragraph may have been too much.


Anyway, I'll wait until tomorrow. If she replies, cool, if not, I'll send her something light & fun and then tell her we're getting drinks this weekend.