Never ever EVER EVER settle for having JUST ONE girlfriend

[Kev07]

I don't agree with this post.



I don't want to spend my life running away from things that could potentially cause me pain. I could never limit myself like that.

I'm a little more experienced than the typical poster here and yeah I have been relationships where I ended up broken and hurt. But I'm not afraid of that anymore. If I could go back, I wouldn't change a thing.

Any relationship I get into now, I know the score and I take responsibility for that. My experiences have matured me and I can enjoy being in the moment with a woman and appreciate the memories no matter how the relationship should end.

To any new guys reading this, be careful when you come across posters preaching what you should and shouldn't do. SoSuave dogma can be just as damaging as the "matrix".

quoted for truth


true, LTRs are a hard thing to manage and if ended would lead to pain, but I think that is better than banging meaningless bvtches at the bar every night, there is more to life than just sex.

not that i would advise people to go into a solid relationship right away, know what you want first.

 

[Effington]

It disturbs me how many people agree with the original post here. Never ever ever ever have a girlfriend? Give me a freaking break. This person is obviously not in the position to be giving advice.

 

[Connect4]

Yea I am gonna have to agree with LeComteDeMonteCristo.
Take advice here with a grain of salt. Know your values first and foremost. Don't let your values or morals be swayed if you don't believe it to be congruent with yourself.

See, the thing is.. Positivity_Injection already BELIEVES that he's GOING to fail with the woman in the future. See... that is what he believes to be his outcome. Self full-filling prophecy.

Originally Posted by positivity_injection
"
ok, so you are getting some experience, seeing some girls, lets say you are a 21 year old guy with limited experience.........why would u ever have a relationship with just ONE girl? WHY? whats the point? where is being exclusive going to get you?? WHERE? ill tell you where, its going to get yo to be super depressed and crying when that girl and you break up down the line
HOW DO WE PREVENT THIS???"

Do you see the fear that is in this statement? Negative
_____________________________________
Now take a look at this statement: Positive

"Any relationship I get into now, I know the score and I take responsibility for that. My experiences have matured me and I can enjoy being in the moment with a woman and appreciate the memories no matter how the relationship should end."
-eComteDeMonteCristo

 

[Connect4]

It disturbs me how many people agree with the original post here. Never ever ever ever have a girlfriend? Give me a freaking break. This person is obviously not in the position to be giving advice.

Agreed

 

[positivity_injection]

Do you even hear yourself talking? "Never EVER EVER EVER settle for having JUST ONE girlfriend."

What kind of advice is this?? Omg... no offense but seriously, get a life dude.

And will you PLEASE get over this word 'AFC'... geez
It's AFC to do this...It's AFC to do that.. .seriously it's not an ALL or Nothing world so stop using 'AFC' as a standard to an end.

JUST BE A MAN.. that's all there is to it.

shut up virgin, you have nothing to add to this discussion

 

[positivity_injection]

I've been through my single stage where I had one night stands. I had my stage when I just had fvck buddys. Then, after awhile I wanted a steady girlfriend. I don't see what is wrong with having one girlfriend.

If you find one who meets your needs and does sh!t that you like. Why not have one girlfriend? If you get tired of her you can always dump her and fvck something new.

But, you say down the road. You will end up crushed and heart broken when she leaves. Yes, that can happen. Which, is why you should not be too emotionally invested in her to the point you can't walk away. Remember posts on protecting your heart? Thats what you need to do when you are exclusive with one girl.

I have even cheated on my girlfriends. But, looking back its like.. Yeah the b!tch was good looking and everything. But, they werent relationship material. They couldn't fill the needs my girlfriend could. Which, is what its about; find a girl that fills your needs.

If I get dumped by a b!tch. I just say "hey it was a good run and I had fun." Then, I'm back on my feet doing my thing. Meeting other women.

Your post arent really giving advice. You are basicly telling everyone what they should do.

dude no

you need to have multiple girlfriends

Player Supreme calls it "having a team of women"

David X calls it "having a harem"

i call it "having multiple gf's"

otherwise, you WILL end up alone and heartbroken

 

[positivity_injection]

You take spinning plates to the next level.
I agree and disagree.
Always spinning plates is like taking medicine to never be a chump or feel 'oneitits'.
You do have to man ***** quite a bit, to find 'the one'.
So if you only spin one plate, that plate is every thing to you = no power!

Still don't cheat on your gf's.. just spin the plates, keep em nice and warm for when you need em =].

what girls dont know does not hurt them......ive never hurt a single girl that i was with in the last few years, yet ive spun tons of plates successfully.........heart intact, heart has not been broken ever since the last time i had a gf without seeing other girls (3 years ago).......i know my method is 100% accurate because I HAVE LIVED THROUGH IT


all the nice guys and inexperienced guys who dont even want to consider my advice, will learn the hard way what it is like to feel pain from some ***** who said she loved you, hooked u in for a year, and then broke up with you

ALL RELATIONSHIPS END 99.99% of the time

 

[I.A.F.Y.B.]

A need is something you must have. Like air to breathe. You do not need multiple girls. Which, is why you must protect your heart and not get too emtionally invested with one girl. So, you don't get heart broken and alone. Like, I stated earlier.

If having multiple girls completes your life that is fine. But, you may like one girl more than the others. If she leaves you it still can be hurt. Only difference is you have something back to fall on. So, you can feel wanted and complete. You do not need women to complete your life. If they leave you. it's because you did something wrong.

Do you need multiple girls cause you are not able to keep one?

If you want a gang of girls on your team you might as well be a pimp. Turning tricc's left and right for their bank roll.

EDIT: To also, add.. There is nothing wrong with spinning plates. But, once you find the girl you like there is nothing wrong with having just that one girl for awhile.

 

[I.A.F.Y.B.]

That;s it,I don't know what/how to attract. It's like I have even yet to figure out what can and does work for me. Maybe I should just go to random bars and see what happens. I mean,what's being your best self? succesful? positive personality/attitude? Confidence?

You know when I came to this site I read everything in the bible. I didn't skim through it and memorize certin things. I read everything to understand everything. It improved me alot with my life and getting girls. Girls I thought I'd never fvck but, I did it.

Read through the bible some more, look through the tip section. Read other peoples questions and see what more experienced guys on here said.

Remember, this site does not have all your answers. Its a foundation to your learning experience to build on.

 

[ready123]

I'll tell you why I don't mind being exclusive. most plates I ever spun at 1 time long-term was 3 over the course of 3 months. not with fvck bvddy intentions but me really striving to connect with all 3 of them. the logistics forced me into a mental state of taking all of them for granted since they were interchangeable to me. it also made me tend to look at them as nothing more than ass. in the end the abundance made it hard for me to break them out of fvck buddy zone into actual girlfriend zone

I like Snow Plowman's definition of a relationship as a shared reality that builds over time. personally I think exclusivity deepens that shared reality, as long as you're well-aware what you're giving up in the process (the opportunity to fvck other girls)

and on this board, there's ambiguity with what a girlfriend is. some guys call their fvck bvddies girlfriends, which I don't think is a good idea

 

[positivity_injection]

were my points missed or something?

dating only ONE gf will result in attachment, one-itis, obsession, heartbreak, and depression.........keep in mind my initial point, i said that for aspiring don juans (meaning inexperienced guys) it is the WORST thing ever to commit to just one girl at an early age and be dumb enough to expect the relationship to not end eventually

get the feminist programming out of your head.......your natural side says to be plentiful with women.........and society says ONLY ONE ONLY ONE IS ALLOWED!!! EVEN IF U ARE 18 AND A VIRGIN, YOU CAN STILL ONLY HAVE 1 GF CUZ FEMINISM SAYS SO, DONT FOLLOW YOUR BALLS, FOLLOW OUR COMMAND!!! - **** SOCIETY, dont you guys see it??? the matrix.......its telling you you NEED only 1 gf at one time, otherwise its WRONG

but im here to tell you that it is RIGHT to have multiple gf's, it will protect your heart, it will give you power, it will make you feel like a MAN

do i have to start naming names here of guys who have JUST a gf and who are currently having issues? if these guys were dating multiple girls instead of 1 gf, there would be NO issues

MrRuckus
Fela Kuti
any other newbie who comes on here saying "ughhh my gf is acting weird"

do you people understand that if you date multiple women at all times, then you will NOT CARE if a gf is acting up, your heart is protected

and get this fact into your head: 99.99% OF ALL RELATIONSHIPS END (the one that doesnt end is when you meet your soulmate, and in 2008 in America, that does not happen when you are inexperienced and 21 and decide to make some random slut your gf)

ughhhhhhhhh

 

[Faded Image]

I can tell that you've never had multiple girlfriends before but you're here telling other guys (inexperienced at that) to live that life style.

Give us some examples of how you've lived this life. I've lived so I'll know if you're not speaking truth.

 

[positivity_injection]

I can tell that you've never had multiple girlfriends before but you're here telling other guys (inexperienced at that) to live that life style.

Give us some examples of how you've lived this life. I've lived so I'll know if you're not speaking truth.

you just sounded absolutely clueless calling me out on it

ive had multiple gf's at all times for the last 2.5 years

what do u mean how i lived this life?? i would see each one anywhere between 1-3 times a week, none of them ever went thru my phone, id always keep my phone on silent, id tell them what they wanna hear, and they were from different cities and had no chance of knowing each other.......its way way too easy dude

 

[oakraiderz2]

Why would you want more than one girlfriend? Why the need for labels? Why not just spin plates instead of being a sleaze and intentionally being deceptive? You said the relationships you had ended, as if you had made a valid point of justification for having multiple girlfriends. Like i said before, there are better ways to have multiple girls in your life without intentionally deceiving people. Clearly, ethical concerns are a matter of relativity to you. Three girlfriends would drive me crazy. There IS a level of commitment that its attached to being in a relationship, unlike when there are no strings attached. Who are you to say its RIGHT to have multiple girlfriends? It may be an intrinsic male trait to have numerous women, but we dont live in a society where spreading our sead to a multitude of women is beneficial. If you have the time to have 3 girlfriends, work, and do whatever else you do, then more power to you. Ever since you came to this site youve been parading around gloating and offering your wisdom...i, like a few others, are skeptical.

 

[demonic]

Did'nt even read on, the thread title say's it all.

To be TRULY HAPPY...you NEED to love 1 girl...i've been with many girls and i'm really unhappy...go figure

 

[Jeffst1980]

Ok, now here's the REALITY FACTOR:

Most girls will NOT be cool with this arrangement.
If you really like a girl and you refuse her requests for exclusivity, she will eventually look elsewhere, if she has a shred of dignity. If she finds out that you are sleeping with other girls while she has been pushing for exclusivity (and she WILL find out), she is going to resent you. This is NOT a healthy model for any relationship.

If you want to keep a girl around, you're gonna have to commit eventually. Sorry. Girls aren't cool with loaning out their boyfriends to other girls.

Monogamy is not a feminist social convention. It existed LONG before feminism. Matter of fact, it was a central concept in one of the LEAST feminist documents ever--The Bible!

There is nothing AFC about having a girlfriend. Spinning plates isn't designed to prevent you from actually having feelings for a girl--its purpose is to place you in the position of having options so you don't get involved in an LTR for the wrong reasons.

 

[positivity_injection]

Ok, now here's the REALITY FACTOR:

Most girls will NOT be cool with this arrangement.
If you really like a girl and you refuse her requests for exclusivity, she will eventually look elsewhere, if she has a shred of dignity. If she finds out that you are sleeping with other girls while she has been pushing for exclusivity (and she WILL find out), she is going to resent you. This is NOT a healthy model for any relationship.

If you want to keep a girl around, you're gonna have to commit eventually. Sorry. Girls aren't cool with loaning out their boyfriends to other girls.

Monogamy is not a feminist social convention. It existed LONG before feminism. Matter of fact, it was a central concept in one of the LEAST feminist documents ever--The Bible!

There is nothing AFC about having a girlfriend. Spinning plates isn't designed to prevent you from actually having feelings for a girl--its purpose is to place you in the position of having options so you don't get involved in an LTR for the wrong reasons.

yea so tell her what she wants to hear and play on

are most of u SO chumpish that u cant see the point of my advice?????

 

[The Bat]

I think the OP is trying to say this:

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=90482

From what I gather, the OP lacks proper arguementative skills and strategies and instead resorts to "dude omg you are an idiot, you didn't even read my post".

And please, for the love of god, stop with the matrix/feminist agenda talk. You are not articulate enough to argue for or against social conventions.

 

[ready123]

Why would you want more than one girlfriend? Why the need for labels? Why not just spin plates instead of being a sleaze and intentionally being deceptive?

that's coz the guy is under the impression you can't be genuine and a playa at the same time. that's social conditioning at work too, totally unnecessary and pretty immature. most girls just want the security of knowing what they're getting into and only time you gotta BS and lie to them is if you didn't set a precedent at the beginning

Clearly, ethical concerns are a matter of relativity to you. Three girlfriends would drive me crazy.

from what I see, he's got a loose definition of what a girlfriend is. some guys call their fvck buddies or girls they're dating their girlfriends. so he has a bunch of girls that he's played simultaneously over long term. to him they're his girlfriends, to me they're just his fvck buddies. they obviously don't know him since he feeds them bullsht and they buy it so those relationships aren't emotionally deep anyway

my definition of a girlfriend starts with a genuine emotional connection. and from this we can get into the real problem most guys with girlfriends have on this site - which is jumping into an exclusive LTR without knowing how to qualify or what to qualify for. and I don't mean using qualifying as an attraction technique, I mean really knowing what qualities you need in a girl in order for the LTR to work and making sure she has them BEFORE you call her your girlfriend

 

[Faded Image]

How many girls at one time?