Never buy a drink?.. bullsh!t

[Spawn_Xe]

I've heard this thrown around and while it may hold merit with a compliance test, I think taken at face value just means you're missing out. Its perfectly fine to buy a girl a drink, but only if she doesn't ask/expect it.

This is because of a powerfull social dynamic known as the rule of reciprocation.

Reciprocation can be observed in the sub-conscious and is often exploited widely these days in the world of PR/Marketing where by the target receives a "free gift" in the effort to elicit a return favour (i.e. buying the product/service or at the very least subjecting oneself to the prospect of engaging with a brand or company). It is said to have originated back to primitive social interaction by way of trading of goods or services to the benefit of personal survival and building community (you scratch my back, I scratch yours). This was way before economics and occurred where during a transaction of 2 parties, one would have to relinquish time/service/product first in order to break any stalemate. This lead to a powerful urge to reciprocate, since this was a sustainable benefit of both individuals and therefore society. The interesting part about this is the reciprocation is generally larger than the initial offering. If you are interested in this topic, it is one of many covered (with scientific study references) in Influence: The psychology of persuasion by Robert B. Cialdini

So, if you're buying a girl a drink out of "good nature" she WILL feel obligated to return the favour in some form. Though this will be reflective on whatever value her mind has on alcohol (i.e. students value it more than mature professionals).

 

[jglide123]

Interesting. I've read similar studies on human behavior, though never applied to buying women drinks at clubs/bars....As long as you apply it correctly, I could see it working to your benefit.

 

[zekko]

But yeah I agree that too many guys in the PUA community are a bit too anal about refusing to buy girls drinks. In my mind a girl is who is invited out is not at fault for expecting to be treated to a drink or two.

There are a lot of guys here who brag about never spending money on women, never buying them dinner, never buying a drink, etc. ("then they give me a blowj0b"). I've even heard guys wanting the girls to cough up gas money.

I can understand the idea of not buying a stranger a drink in a bar, because they haven't done anything to earn it. But for the most part, I've always thought PUAs are just cheap.

 

[FairShake]

When guys say never buy a drink I know that they aren't being serious about dating more women. They are just engaging in bro bonding. Alot of the advice on here and other sites isn't really advice anymore just ways for guys to interact and pump each other up. Most of it can be pretty detrimental actually so it's good to keep that in mind when you read it.

 

[old_skoolr]

Theres nothing wrong bout buying a woman drinks as long as its done in the correct way. This is a case of each to tyheir own but great post anyway spawn

 

[Voice]

Lol I've taken that advice in the past and even applied it to female friends. I wasn't seen as a badazz. I was however seen as a cheapazz. Keep that in mind.

I agree that you should really only buy a woman a drink whom you just met AFTER you have talked to her and connected with her. Then, IF you think SHE is cool enough for YOU, then you can offer your gratitude to buy her a drink because she EARNED it. It's not so much the drink that is the prize she has earned, it's your gratitude.

 

[SableSpartan]

How many guys here have gotten laid with a beautiful girl without offering a her a drink?

Fact of the matter is that you don't need to do this trick. A girl should be drawn to you because of your charisma and the connection she is building with you. Not because of reciprocation.
A lot of guys will seem creepy if they try to manipulate with a girl.

 

[goodfoot]

Rarely has buying a drink got me any kind of reciprocation. I've bought chicks drinks and they walked off and ignored me as soon as they got them. The times that I got play and happened to buy them a drink, I'm pretty sure I could have got the same result without buying them a drink. Plus chicks just expect to get drinks whenever they feel like it. Obviously I'm talking about club game. Drinks at my place is ok

 

[michaelvictory]

Never Say Never...but...

There are very few rules that are craved in stone. This never buy a woman a drink is like a way to pre-qualify her to see if there is any chemistry. Comming up to a pretty women whom you know absolutely nothing about and offering to buyher a drink opens a man up to be used. There are some attractive women who leave the house with-out money when going to a club because they know a ton of guys will offer to buy them drinks.
I would break the ice and make small talk to see where she's at. If we click then,sure,I would order drinks for the both of us. So,while I would never say never,but I would be catious about giving up my hard earned money so some chick I don't even know can get her buzz on.

 

[TWG2]

The 'no drinks' rule is for the random girls who will try to hit you up for a drink out of the blue.

Girls do that sort of thing as a game and probably every guy on the planet has fallen for it at least once. They use it as a measure of their own physical attractiveness and status within their little wolf packs.

When that happens to me I will either tell her to get lost if she's ugly or say something like 'I'll buy you one if you buy me one' if she is decent looking. Sometimes this works but not often; like I said they are almost always playing a game and if you show that you don't want to be a chump you will no longer be eligible to play.

If you are chatting up a girl and she is showing interest getting her a drink at the same time you grab one for yourself is common courtesy.

 

[War Against Betaism]

I agree with buying a girl a drink if she doesn't ask or expect it. If she does ask or expect it there's no way I'm doing that. That already tells me a lot about her.

 

[Damian]

Carrot and stick. It's what every single method out there is trying to do.

If she exhibits behavior that you like, give her an incentive: Buy her a drink, give her a hug, laugh at her stupid joke, whatever.

If not, deny her what she wants: validation, emotional bonds, an available emotional punching bag.

Yes, you need to learn what girls like or not. Why not take the time to teach whoever you're meeting how they can get along with you as well?

 

[The Duke]

When you buy a drink for some random hot girl, all you are doing is reinforcing her sexual value and reiterating what she probably already thinks of you. You are putting her on a pedestal based on her beauty. She knows this. Although she most likely appreciates it, she will also think all you want her for is her sexuality. She won't take you seriously. Next time you are out try observing to see what happens. Many times I've seen some guy buy a few drinks for some random hot girls and as soon as they get their drinks they aren't interested in him anymore and its an up hill battle. As soon as the guy bails, then the girls start talking about what a creeper he was!

I've watched my own sister allow guys to buy her drinks. It doesn't turn on any attraction switches. All it does is allow her to go home with more money in her pocket.

 

[bookman]

5$,10$ is ok for me if I am buying something for someone I am just meeting... just don't spend a lot of money on a maybe that's how I see it

I don't want to be called cheap for not wanting to pay a couple of dollars, but if it comes to a bill of 20+ **** it get a hooker