Nerdy girl is now Hot

[metamorphose]

Long time lurker, new poster, need help please.

I just finished a university summer class in which I met a close group of 5 friends: 2 girls, 3 guys, everyone is in a relationship except for one girl, Katie, and through jokes made via the group, it is clear she is actively looking for a guy.

Katie is one of those girls who was a nerd all throughout high school and her initial university years, but then suddenly came back one summer and she had lost the glasses, about 20 lbs, gotten a great tan, new hair, etc… she is now at least a 8, but still clearly has the confidence of a 5.

We all hung out as a large group, all over campus, not just in class during this summer session. It was always a group however, so I never really got to know Katie too well as I was never in a one-on –one situation, and never had a chance to progress our relationship before the class ended, but always had a feeling she was into me.

I looked her up and added her on fb last week and she accepted my request within minutes (has fb on her iphone). Having never hung out alone with her, I wussed out and I messaged her saying I didn’t get to know her well and wanted to get the whole group over for drinks. She messaged back, again within minutes saying she was busy this weekend but definitely down to get together this week.

4 days later, I reply saying cool, let’s do it, I don’t use fb much, what’s your number. Even though I took 4 days to reply, she got back to me within minutes with her number. So I think she is interested or the possibility is there at least. I have not called, txted, or messaged her since, unsure how to go from here as I always mess up.

One thing I have going for me is I’m in great shape and work out daily. I have caught her checking out my arms multiple times and whenever I focus eye contact on her she looks down kind of shy after a bit. I need to make a move because someone will.

What do I do? Inviting everyone over just to get her over seems like the worst possible idea. That said, she’s not a slutty party girl, so I don’t know how comfortable she would be coming over for drinks alone. How do I proceed? Please help.

 

[aballer2323]

brah. this isn't rocket science. just take her out for a drink and go from there.

 

[metamorphose]

Never really dropped a hint im into her. Wasnt sure asking her for a drink straight up would work as we've never hung out together.

 

[Purefilth]

Never really dropped a hint im into her. Wasnt sure asking her for a drink straight up would work as we've never hung out together.

thats good, youll be able to charm the panties off her then, sounds as if shes keen, and it will be easier to get to talking without having everyone in the way.

"you miss 100% of the shots you dont take"

 

[Alvafe]

also its even better you 2 don't know each other that well, then she can't toss teh let's jsut be friends, just invite her to do something you like and make her confortable, then go on

 

[metamorphose]

I realize I make everything so much bigger in my head, and I am my biggest challenge. But in this case where Im confused now is how to approach.

I initiated contact and got her number under the whole group hanging out for drinks etc. If I call her to hang out/go out, wont she be expecting everyone there, or think it was sneaky the way I got her num?

Should I make a joke about how I could care less about hanging out with the group and just wanted her num? Also we've never hung out alone before.

Do I coffee date, patio for drinks somewhere, at my place for bbq/drinks etc for the first time I ask her to hang out? Im afraid if I just say do you want to hang out today, she will think its the group.

 

[TRSX]

I realize I make everything so much bigger in my head, and I am my biggest challenge. But in this case where Im confused now is how to approach.

I initiated contact and got her number under the whole group hanging out for drinks etc. If I call her to hang out/go out, wont she be expecting everyone there, or think it was sneaky the way I got her num?

Should I make a joke about how I could care less about hanging out with the group and just wanted her num? Also we've never hung out alone before.

Do I coffee date, patio for drinks somewhere, at my place for bbq/drinks etc for the first time I ask her to hang out? Im afraid if I just say do you want to hang out today, she will think its the group.

Alright soldier listen up.

First step:
Figure out what you want from this chick. (Could be FB, LTR, Casual Dating, Friends, Enemy)

Second step:
Grab your balls with your left hand, and hold your phone in your right

Third step:
DIAL HER NUMBER AND CALL HER. Tell her you found this really cool joint and that you should join. Give her specifics. (If she asks is it a group thing? tell her no.)

Fourth step:
Get the date planned out, don't do this though:
"Oh you're not free? Well let me know when you can." <-- BAD.
"Tonight doesn't work? (or whenever u wanted) Are you free on thursday or friday night?" (I like to give the girl the option if she can't make the proposed date, but not too many options.)

Fifth step:
If she says no. MOVE ON
If she says yes. Show up, have a great time , escalate the situation using Kino techniques etc. Search, "The Walking Tree" Kino. If you want a good technique I like to use ill post it next.

Sixth step:
Ignore her until the proposed night/date and show up on time. If she flakes, give her the option to reschedule, if she doesnt or is weary about it. NEXT

Seventh step:
Put your **** inside of her and report back to me

TRSX.

 

[metamorphose]

so i got a date for this weekend! first date in a looong time hopefully I dont mess it up.

I would love that kino technique you were talking about or any other help you may have

 

[TRSX]

Did you use my advice?

Alright the kino technique is called "THE WALKING TREES" and it was posted here a bit ago that I found so I can't take credit for it.

You need to try this on yourself so u can understand it
The Walking Tree:
Tell the girl that at work someones daughter/son came into your office (may have to modify this) and showed you something that he said was impossible to beat.

You: Let me see your hands
*take one of her hands and have her palms up like shes scooping something like water from a faucet*
With your opposite hand, put it underneath hers (dont ever let go of it until ur done)

You: Alright, so with your eyes closed you have to get all the way from the bottom of your palm to the tip of your fingers, without running into trees. I'm going to plant about 3-4 trees, and you have to go at the pace that I am going.
(Using your OTHER hand take your index finger and slowly rub from the bottom of her palm to the tip of her finger - usually the middle finger since its the longest distance- BUT DO IT SLOWLY AND SENSUALLY.)

You: Close your eyes, and now im going to plant some trees - (now take that hand and plant about 3/4 trees 'along the side' of the path, it doesnt really matter where you place them just make it seem like its possible to go between.

- She'll at this point be playing along and she'll take her finger (if she doesnt know what to do with her other hand grab it and put her finger to her palm *another touching point*)

If she goes too fast, tell her hey thats cheating and be playful and make her do it again at the pace you showed her.

When shes about 1/2 3/4 of the way to the end of her hand, take your hand and palm her forehead.
You: Oh, looks like you hit a tree

Kino is over. She will laugh, and in some other land a AFC beta ***** will cry.

So now she has gotten used to both of your hands on her.

This is field tested, and it works really well.

 

[metamorphose]

I did use your advice thanks a lot. I think I just need someone to tell me like it is sometimes and not all this motavational you can do anything stuff.

Only slight concern is she might not be sure of what the situation is either. I straight up asked her to meet for drinks at a patio and she said she would love to and said she was `free pretty much all the time`. No mention of the group but none of it being a date either.

We are having drinks at a university patio bc weather is so nice right now. I know usually coffee or something smaller is better for first date, but cant do much about that now

My thinking is make it afternoon so no food is involved.
And I pay regardless right
Do i pick her up or get her to meet there
How do I end first date, know to keep it short

 

[oxford comma]

wow a girl that admits to being free all the time and actually picks up her phone? she sounds socially awkward and/or too good to be true. haha

 

[Alvafe]

he said she was nerdy girl, so pretty much she know how to talk and its inteligent, but don't have any kind of game, this kind of girl normally work a little diferently, but don't take too long or other guys can do something or even some new friend will start to tell her things to make it difficult, but also don't consider much what I said, even though I think its the case I can be wrong

 

[Packers2010]

dude. if she is an 8 now but has the confidence of a 5? why are you not hitting it up. if you come off as a 6 in HER mind. the war is almost over! all you have to do is make sure you don't stuff it up.

you asked her out. witch is good. just take her too a pool hall and shoot some pool.

it's a FIRST date man. don't over think it. who knows. she might turn out to be someone who turns you off. for what ever reason. have a good eject point man

 

[TRSX]

I did use your advice thanks a lot. I think I just need someone to tell me like it is sometimes and not all this motavational you can do anything stuff.

Only slight concern is she might not be sure of what the situation is either. I straight up asked her to meet for drinks at a patio and she said she would love to and said she was `free pretty much all the time`. No mention of the group but none of it being a date either.

We are having drinks at a university patio bc weather is so nice right now. I know usually coffee or something smaller is better for first date, but cant do much about that now

My thinking is make it afternoon so no food is involved.
And I pay regardless right
Do i pick her up or get her to meet there
How do I end first date, know to keep it short

Here's the thing. Girls ALWAYS know what the situation is, but theres 2 catergories that they try to determine in which YOU are in by the first date, and it's your job to let them know which catergory you want to be in.

Catergory 1: Friend Zone.
Catergory 2: Intimate Zone.

I'll give you a quick scenarios/advice on how you may or may not be placed in each catergory on the date.

Catergory 1: Friend Zone. (Could also be too low IL zone.)
This is a place it sounds like you DON'T want to be. The first date is definetly casual and not pushy/agressive especially with a nerd. But you will more then likely put into this if you:

- Use ZERO to VERY LITTLE kino on the girl
- You seem eager, way too interested
- You're jealous if another guy comes up, pushy, and clingy
- You want to make everything on the date perfect from the time you see her and are too afraid to make a mistake
- You over compliment her
- You talk about yourself the entire time
- You tell her things like. "I'd really love to go to spain with you, lets plan a trip." or "I never liked goat cheese, but since you like it I think I can learn to like it."

Catergory 2: Intimate Zone.:rockon:

- Use good KINO and continue to escalate. Remember, you'd rather her tell you no/give you signs she doesnt like to be touched there then to not touch her at all.
- Smile, be out there to have a good time , focus on her but don't make it seem needy.
- Ask her INTERESTING questions. This is not an interview, you're getting to know her more. You already know she looks good so start building your personality
- Escalate the kino
- Take charge, lead the date/end the date when you feel it's a good time to head out with her IL high. (people say 45mins-2hours) is a good range to start with depending on what you're doing.

---

As far as your date goes. Don't make it a food date if you're buying. Make it drinks, something more casual. Food is too serious if you plan on buying the meal. Most DJ's here will tell you no food till you fvcked. (Like you said)
Coffee is a good first date yes, but drinks give you a chance to escalate things faster since she knows shes out there to laugh and get a little loose.

If you can pick her up, thatd be best. TAKE CHARGE of the situation. - If you don't know where she lives and dont want to go through that mess, just tell her to meet you there.

Now I know this may not work on your girl, i dont know her - but i like to tell a girl very vaguely what to wear. ("it's an outside bar, so wear some cute shorts and a cute top.")

 

[metamorphose]

I would like to first say I really appreciate not only the replies, but the depth to them. I almost didn’t post initially as I didn’t expect much realistic help direction, but you guys (TRSX especially) have been great.

To get back at the situation at hand, I think a bit more detail might help. Right now a small part of me is worried that she doesn’t look at it as a date and just two friends hanging out/getting to know each other. To make sure I didn’t misinterpret, I thought I’d share our convo a bit: First off remember we have never done more than small talk or hung out alone, so I don’t think she would look at us as just friends. Back to the convo, I was funny, I got a lot of laughs and she seemed to have a high interest in the way she talked. After a bit of small talk I said that I was going to say we should hit up the Den (popular university patio bar) the next day, but now with rain in the forecast, we should do it this weekend. She replied that she would definitely be down to go to a patio and that she was pretty much free all the time, to pick a time and let her know.

I am somewhat confident in my ability to keep a good conversation going with her doing most of the talking once we are seated. I am confused not sure of some other areas however. I can pick her up easily, she lives close to me, but when I pick her up do I park and go up to her place, wait in the car, get out to open door for her, etc? Shaking hands seems bad, do I lean in for a quick hello hug. Do I compliment her looks a small amount? If we are getting to know each other at the date, what do I talk about with her for the 10 minute drive there? I am worried that awkwardness in the short drive with us both to the patio will be what does me in.

One good thing is I have an in to initiate kino right off the bat. I am super tanned because I pretty much live outside and usually take off my shirt if it’s sunny. She has made comments before about how nice and dark I am. She’s been tanning a lot and I made a joke she will be darker than me soon, and she laughed and was like I wish I’m working on it. I was thinking that at some time early on, to be like ok let’s see this tan you’ve been working on, grab her hand and make her spin around and pretend to really check out her tan.

As a university student on a limited budget, I was planning on drinks at the most. I have no idea if she will offer to split it, and if she does do I still pay it all? I’ve confused because I’ve read both to pay, and to never pay on this site. If the date does go well and now she’s had a few drinks, do I invite her over to my place for a few more drinks, or end the date regardless. She is a dog person and I have a cute little pup, so I do have a excuse to get her back. Ive also read not to try to kiss her first date, to feel out the situ, to always make a move. She is a nerdy girl still, I don’t want to come off as a AFC but I also don’t want to come off as aggressive, and that fine line confuses me a bit.

I realize dating is supposed to be fun, but as you can see my head is a mess, I need to get some serious practice in before the fall semester starts up and its girl central here again.

 

[TRSX]

Nobody on the forum can give you the magical formula on making the perfect date, because in all honesty: there is none.

I think theres an easy way to figure out a solution for your issues though. You seem worried about what you do when you come to her house, should you get out etc. That tells me that you're nervous, which is cool everyone gets nervous - unfortunately we need you to go from nervous to confident.

Theres a couple techniques that to you might seem arrogant and self-centered, but they help a lot. Look at yourself in the mirror, i mean really stare at yourself without looking down, without blushing away, look at yourself in the mirror and start talking to yourself about your day.

Notice your hand movements, the way that you smile, get used to all of the mechanics of your body and how you interact that way when you can feel better and more confident in yourself.

The point of all this is that in order to have a great date- you have to have a great time. Being yourself is the most important thing you can possibly do.

If you're worried about conversation, why dont you write a few questions down before the date(maybe right now) and have them fired up in your brain that way you always have something to ask about. But when you do ask them, listen to what they say and SPAWN CONVERSATION off of that.

You: "What inspired you get into your current study?"

Her: " Oh cuz i love this and i've done it all this way blah blah"

You: " Ah, that reminds me of a story.."

Her: "Oh thats interesting yeah let me tell you about this story.."

You: (listening, asking her more questions and statements about it.)

Her: "So thats the story of why i did that"

You: "Thats amazing, did you as a child think you were going to get into this.."

Her: "haha, no I always wanted to be a .."
--

The point is you're making the conversation interesting and hitting her on an emotional level.

About the introduction. Remember your relationships with everyone you deal with. Someone who is close to you (Like your parents) you give them a friendly hug. Someone who is an associate or you work with you give them a handshake.

You want intimacy - do things with her that you would do with someone close to you, let her into your world a little bit without getting carried away too fast.

If she decides to wear a dress or a skirt , Tell her you want a twirl.

GIRLS LOVE WHEN THEY CAN FEEL LIKE THERE A CHILD AGAIN. Like playing in the sandbox, this was a time when they didn't worry about bills/uni costs/studying etc, they were just free and fun - this is the objective that you want to hit ; you want her to feel like with you shes free and fun.

Any gentlemen would get out of his car and go to the door to get her, basically if you're mom/dad/guardian ever taught you that manners are important.. they still are. If that's not your style, then do what you think is right.

Any gentlemen would first start paying for the drinks especially since YOU invited her out. If she insists on paying for it, or splitting it - then let her, don't force mannerisms on her.

KEEP SMILING. YOUR BACK STRAIGHT AND YOUR CHIN UP.

And dude. You're going to mess up, everybody does. But the most important thing you can do if you mess up (like say something she doesnt respond well to) is realize she can mess up too - you're both human. And just have fun with it! Don't walk on eggshells - have a strong opinion about things, take it lightly and I promise you you will be on this forum talking about how excited she is for the next date.

If the feeling is right, go for the kiss close at the end. She'll think youre absolutely confident. If she doesnt kiss close then you have your answer on her IL level is

 

[metamorphose]

So date could not have gone worse IMO, but I will divulge the details, hopefully getting advice on how to improve…

I was super nervous leading up to date, so I stupidly let my friend who came by, convince me to blaze that I would be really relaxed. I figured I had a few hours still and because I smoke a lot I should be fine… which was not a good idea. I know for a fact blazing kills my confidence and socialness and is one of my greatest challenges, but yet I always cave like a typical cig smoker.

She lives in a gated condo complex so we had agreed that I would just call her and she would come out. This put a kink in my plan to go up to her door, greet, and start kino right away with a hug. My plan was to wait outside my car, approach her and then just do the greeting outside my car, instead of just sitting in the car waiting for her to come in.

I called her and it didn’t even ring once before she picked up and she seemed super eager on the phone. Like the exact moment she came out, my phone rang and it was loud. I went to grab it just to shut it off, and as I pulled it out of my pocket, my car keys came out with it and fell on the ground. She initially came to my side, but as I fumbled with my keys, etc., she went to her side of the car while I was doing this idiot dance, and I missed on that opportunity and was off to a bad start.

One the way to the patio, we actually had really good conversation. She did most the talking, and there were no lull’s or awkward moments. However, even though I had been to the patio a million times, know the town really well, never get lost, etc … I missed the turn and had to drive around like a tool for a few minutes.

Patio turned out pretty good. We had good conversation, she did most the talking, I got a lot of laughs from her, but the conversation and the date had no sexual feeling what so ever. I did catch her checking me out a few times, and she even mentioned how good of shape I was in and asked me what I eat/etc We have a lot in common which was good, but the entire date, I just had the feeling she wasn’t into me like she was leading up to the date. Bill came, she did offer to contribute, but I took the bill as I had asked her out.

So Patio ended and we were leaving, I had to be somewhere later and thought I should keep it short so I took her home. She gave me a quick goodbye and was gone before I could say anything. I blew the date, I was pissed, so frustrated ready to give up. I couldn’t believe that I hadn’t even broken physical contact with her. Started to think If I have no game with nerdy chicks, what am I gonna do with the actual hotties we all dream about chasing?

But then a weird thing happened. I wasn’t expecting to her from her at all. I honestly thought maybe I would get a msg saying thanks for taking me out a few days later, but that would be it pretty much. But that night she messaged me, wanting to continue a discussion we both had where she was amazed I knew a lot about some obscure little interest she has. She continued messaging and they were multiple message long ones. I msged her back, but took my time, and made no effort to continue the convo with my responses, yet if there was a delay, she would just continue the convo with another text. She did this til late until I was like ok im crashing good night.

That was two days ago. Haven’t heard from her, haven’t contacted her either, not sure what to do here. Im pretty confused, after our date I didn’t expect to hear from her. Confused if I probably would get one more date to show her im not a loser before she completely writes me off . What would you guys do from here?

 

[Pimp-sicle]

Let me preface this by saying what I'm about to write is all meant to help you and might come off as harsh/tough love or that I'm an @ss-wwwhole, but I'm just trying to open your eyes.

-----------------

#1) You honestly are already dead in the water with this girl. And the funny thing is she is physically attracted to you and you still might get to bang her because its clear that even though she went through a major transformation, she doesn't have the confidence (inner game) that reflects it yet. This is very common with those who have the ugly duckling syndrome.

So why am I saying your dead in the water?

Well you are GROSSLY over-analyzing things SO MUCH already and somehow think you need to have a completely scripted dated since you are pretty much clueless on how this all works.

I mean you were mad at yourself because you didn't get to walk up to her door and use some scripted kino technique that TRSX told you?? Really???

But its not all doom and gloom.

Your a smart guy, I can tell by your inate desire to understand how to get better at attracting women and learning the game.

However this is where logic won't help you.

You need to get out in the field and learn from experience.

There are tons of e-books, techniques, lines etc that def do work; but none of it will matter if you don't have the basics down because you won't be able to apply the concepts correctly.

Instead of memorizing techniques, start becoming more confident in yourself.

Inner game is really what all chumps lack and what makes them nervous around women they like.

Sounds like your in good shape which is a plus, you just need the mentality to match the exterior.

So don't beat yourself up about this situation, just use her as practice and have fun. Don't forget at the core of all this is to have fun. Almost every newbie misses that because approaching a girl is such foreign territory to them.

Lastly, i will say be careful who you take advice from. There are way too many keyboard jockeys just parroting advice they read in an article and trying to pass it off as knowledge from experience.

I think you will see the more you hang around here that the best advice you will get is from a select few and most of those guys hang out in the Mature Men forum.







PIMP

 

[blind_one]

So date could not have gone worse IMO, but I will divulge the details, hopefully getting advice on how to improve…

I was super nervous leading up to date, so I stupidly let my friend who came by, convince me to blaze that I would be really relaxed. I figured I had a few hours still and because I smoke a lot I should be fine… which was not a good idea. I know for a fact blazing kills my confidence and socialness and is one of my greatest challenges, but yet I always cave like a typical cig smoker.

She lives in a gated condo complex so we had agreed that I would just call her and she would come out. This put a kink in my plan to go up to her door, greet, and start kino right away with a hug. My plan was to wait outside my car, approach her and then just do the greeting outside my car, instead of just sitting in the car waiting for her to come in.

I called her and it didn’t even ring once before she picked up and she seemed super eager on the phone. Like the exact moment she came out, my phone rang and it was loud. I went to grab it just to shut it off, and as I pulled it out of my pocket, my car keys came out with it and fell on the ground. She initially came to my side, but as I fumbled with my keys, etc., she went to her side of the car while I was doing this idiot dance, and I missed on that opportunity and was off to a bad start.

One the way to the patio, we actually had really good conversation. She did most the talking, and there were no lull’s or awkward moments. However, even though I had been to the patio a million times, know the town really well, never get lost, etc … I missed the turn and had to drive around like a tool for a few minutes.

Patio turned out pretty good. We had good conversation, she did most the talking, I got a lot of laughs from her, but the conversation and the date had no sexual feeling what so ever. I did catch her checking me out a few times, and she even mentioned how good of shape I was in and asked me what I eat/etc We have a lot in common which was good, but the entire date, I just had the feeling she wasn’t into me like she was leading up to the date. Bill came, she did offer to contribute, but I took the bill as I had asked her out.

So Patio ended and we were leaving, I had to be somewhere later and thought I should keep it short so I took her home. She gave me a quick goodbye and was gone before I could say anything. I blew the date, I was pissed, so frustrated ready to give up. I couldn’t believe that I hadn’t even broken physical contact with her. Started to think If I have no game with nerdy chicks, what am I gonna do with the actual hotties we all dream about chasing?

But then a weird thing happened. I wasn’t expecting to her from her at all. I honestly thought maybe I would get a msg saying thanks for taking me out a few days later, but that would be it pretty much. But that night she messaged me, wanting to continue a discussion we both had where she was amazed I knew a lot about some obscure little interest she has. She continued messaging and they were multiple message long ones. I msged her back, but took my time, and made no effort to continue the convo with my responses, yet if there was a delay, she would just continue the convo with another text. She did this til late until I was like ok im crashing good night.

That was two days ago. Haven’t heard from her, haven’t contacted her either, not sure what to do here. Im pretty confused, after our date I didn’t expect to hear from her. Confused if I probably would get one more date to show her im not a loser before she completely writes me off . What would you guys do from here?

Duuuuude slow down

First things first she contacted you, so her IL is still ok.
You'll do better next time, and that's the most important thing, not that you did terribad from what I've read.

Gradually you'll be approaching it from a more natural and relaxed point of view as I do now, which seemed impossible 6 months ago.

Some DJ's around here should give you some pointers about what to do next, because my method is always boozing up :crackup: it's fun for both of you and lets you both ease off a bit ESPECIALLY if she is what you say she is which means she's probably nervous too.

As to confidence issues, lets say you need to get some small grocery shopping done in a shop 20 meters away from home, on the opposite side of the road.

You might as well just wear anything and go there in your flip flops.

Now chicks will spend an hour doing make up and dressing, and for a date their will come all dolled up with made her and stuff because they are mostly that insecure AND ALSO want to look their best which you should too

Also what Pimp said, 100%, plus he's one of the quality posters with tons of experience.

 

[TRSX]

Lastly, i will say be careful who you take advice from. There are way too many keyboard jockeys just parroting advice they read in an article and trying to pass it off as knowledge from experience.

I think you will see the more you hang around here that the best advice you will get is from a select few and most of those guys hang out in the Mature Men forum.

Not sure if thats a jab at my posts, but in either case, I can't take this guys hand and do it for him. He wanted some specifics, and thats what I gave him. It's helpful to learn from real examples and to have some techniques that are scripted when you're nervous. Hes not going to be 100% confident right away, it needs to be built.

I told him to gain confidence in himself before the date, talk to himself in the mirror, what did he do? He smoked up and hoped that the mellow nature of weed would mask his nervousness.

If anything, he is over thinking things BECAUSE he didn't listen to what I told him.

This guy had this chick on a platter, she was high IL from what we know, ripe for the picking. He over thought things and let this chick control the situation from the start.

So your keys fell and you were doing an idiot dance, well i can tell you what I would of done was said **** the keys, go for the initial hug and then get the keys and be cool about it. Miss directions and wasn't paying attention? Who ****ing cares, just laugh about it and just fix it.'

It sounds like your date actually went okay.. just next time learn from your mistakes on this one and you have to start developing kino. It's good she started messaging you again.

Think of something new to do, a new bar, hang out at a new spot, anything.. and text her and tell her a date - if she comes then thats a good thing. If not, just learn from this.