Nerd!

[DariusSolluman]

Yo.

This is my first post, though I've lurked for a while. I've seen similiar topics before, but neither searches nor the Bible quite hit on my exact concentration of problems.

So, new post. Also, yo to everyone here. You are an amusing bunch, so ya know.

Anywho...

I'm a nerd. No, seriously. I like gaming (tabletop and roleplaying). I read a lot. I go to cons. I will happily talk about ethics all night long, watched Buffy, and am studying Computer Science while minoring in Philosophy. I play Go, know who both Noam Chomsky and Scott McCloud are, and can talk a little about a whole lot.

I also dislike crowds and loud events. It's not a matter of needing to relax- it's that I /can't/ relax during them. I'm moderetly asocial, but fight it actively so that I can meet new people without being terrified.

I'm also a reasonably confident person. At least, in my opinion. I know who I am, and where my lines are, and refuse to bend cause of simple pressure. I'm reasonably happy, albiet frustrated in my inability to even get my heart broken.

From the start and the last, you can probally divine my problem. None of my hobbies or interests are exactly women intensive. Making me sadly single basically my entire life.

It's getting to a silly degree. And I'm really sick of both 'Be Yourself' advise (which ya'll rightly pointed out, I think for the first time in my experience, the near utter falsity of this idea), and 'Become someone else' (drop my hobbies, take up more mainstream masculine interests). I cannot seem to meet women, and the highly limited set I do meet have about zero in common with me for grounds of conversation.

Now, this isn't purely perception either. I go to Georgia Tech. A survey conducted here last year showed that over 80% of the campus' co-ed population is in a relationship, and of the remaining one in five, they're either too busy or simply not interested. (I also conducted this survey, to satisfy my personal curiousity. I'll post about it later some time This stems from there being about three guys to every girl. Shock.

So... I dunno. Help? I'm rather at a dead end- I've explored my own ideas into the ground. I'm out of thoughts. I know others on this board must have been in a similiar boat to myself before- any advise?

 

[sharpshooter]

I'm 20.. I was somewhat the same three years ago, except I really wanted wanted to do things. So I started hanging out with my friends on the weekends, drinking, started working out, my marks dropped, lost the glasses, got confident. It wasn't until a year ago that I got comfortable with women, in my mind I still had the old persona of myself, but that's 80 percent gone now.

i became who i was all along yet morphed into someone new.

I totally changed

 

[HuuBinh]

hey Darius, come over to GA state. dawg, plently of fine looking female here.

 

[Page]

Originally posted by DariusSolluman
Yo.

This is my first post, though I've lurked for a while. I've seen similiar topics before, but neither searches nor the Bible quite hit on my exact concentration of problems.

>Then maybe I can be of assistance.


So, new post. Also, yo to everyone here. You are an amusing bunch, so ya know.

>well, we try.

Anywho...

I'm a nerd. No, seriously. I like gaming (tabletop and roleplaying). I read a lot. I go to cons. I will happily talk about ethics all night long, watched Buffy, and am studying Computer Science while minoring in Philosophy. I play Go, know who both Noam Chomsky and Scott McCloud are, and can talk a little about a whole lot.


>Just doing what makes you happy doesn't make you a nerd, provided that you balance it out with other things that gravitate towards social interaction.

I also dislike crowds and loud events. It's not a matter of needing to relax- it's that I /can't/ relax during them. I'm moderetly asocial, but fight it actively so that I can meet new people without being terrified.


>Yes, you do need work in this area, but at least you are trying, which is more than i can say for some people that I see everyday. Just keep working at it and it will become easier as you go along.

I'm also a reasonably confident person. At least, in my opinion. I know who I am, and where my lines are, and refuse to bend cause of simple pressure. I'm reasonably happy, albiet frustrated in my inability to even get my heart broken.

>answer me this-- is it because you know how to be confident in the face of rejection (like any DJ should be) or is it because oyu have a comfort zone and don't try new things? (Your description hints at both)

From the start and the last, you can probally divine my problem. None of my hobbies or interests are exactly women intensive. Making me sadly single basically my entire life.

>It's all about balance. Why should you put aside what makes oyu happy when you can have the best of both worlds in moderation?

It's getting to a silly degree. And I'm really sick of both 'Be Yourself' advise (which ya'll rightly pointed out, I think for the first time in my experience, the near utter falsity of this idea), and 'Become someone else' (drop my hobbies, take up more mainstream masculine interests).

>Like I keep saying, balance it. Do what you want on your own time, but be sure oyu know how to interact in social situations.



I cannot seem to meet women, and the highly limited set I do meet have about zero in common with me for grounds of conversation.

>The DJB is full of conversational guides. Read, assimilate, and use.

Now, this isn't purely perception either. I go to Georgia Tech. A survey conducted here last year showed that over 80% of the campus' co-ed population is in a relationship, and of the remaining one in five, they're either too busy or simply not interested. (I also conducted this survey, to satisfy my personal curiousity. I'll post about it later some time This stems from there being about three guys to every girl. Shock.

>So, broaden your scope. Look for women off campus.


So... I dunno. Help? I'm rather at a dead end- I've explored my own ideas into the ground. I'm out of thoughts. I know others on this board must have been in a similiar boat to myself before- any advise?


>Summary: the bestthing oyu can do now is to explore new things and start your self-improvement process. Once you start developing yourself as described in the DJB and in my very own Book of Shuma Gora, you will find that self improvement becomes easier and oyu reap the benefits almost immediately. Good luck to you.

 

[jakethasnake]

Originally posted by sharpshooter
I'm 20.. I was somewhat the same three years ago, except I really wanted wanted to do things. So I started hanging out with my friends on the weekends, drinking, started working out, my marks dropped, lost the glasses, got confident. It wasn't until a year ago that I got comfortable with women, in my mind I still had the old persona of myself, but that's 80 percent gone now.

i became who i was all along yet morphed into someone new.

I totally changed

You can do that coz you're only 20. Not that I'm that much older, than you, btw....


It is much, much easier to create a new identity for yourself when you're young, as you are still forming as a person. It's my opinion that a man really doesn't know exactly who or what he is until he is at least 25 years old. For some men it takes even longer - until 30. After that, your life experiences and age make you pretty set in your ways and identity, so a drastic overhaul like you had could be psychologically disorienting, and sometimes traumatic. So do it while you're still young - if you don't like where you are or what you've become, work HARD to improve yourself, to mold a NEW YOU.