neither friend nor boyfriend

[crotchrocket]

How do you deal with girls, that don't quite treat you like they would 'just a friend' but you aren't a boyfriend either?

I have more stories (and more girls doing the same thing) but we'll just deal with last night (out with a group of friends) and girl #2, who I had a pretty good first date with, she told me to call her sometime, she was interested, trust me, but then she started ignoring me, and stopped returning my calls. She showed up with her boyfriend (I didn't know anything for sure but suspected he existed). You could just tell she expected me to be friendly but I didn't give her the satisfaction, I completely ignored her (not rudely but just didn't go out of my way), now even though she did not initiate any conversation you could just tell she was hoping/expecting me to, I didn't, she eventually left in kind of a huff, with her AFC boyfriend following her like a lost puppy.

What should a guy do with these types? I see both these girls once a week, do I just ignore them? Flirt with others (I usually do anyways) and ignore them? What has the most impact? I'm trying to save face a little here, before it spreads, and I get the reputation that I'm 'back-burner' material.

I am well aware of all the ways I need to improve my game, just want to deal with this particular issue now as I have never had this problem before, if you have any insight or experience dealing with this particular issue, I'd appreciate it!

 

[ERIC]

If I'm getting this right, I think you did the right think bro. You didn't act like an a** but you didn't kiss hers either. If something like that happens I say just be polite say hi or something. If she tries to initiate conversation, talk with her for a bit, but try not to get all in-depth and interested, just small talk for a few minutes.

Also with the whole bringing the b/f deal. If she's flirting with you in front of him, it's more than likely just her trying to make the b/f jealous.

 

[crotchrocket]

As far as the boyfriend, with both the girls that do this, the funny thing is they talk about him (them) with pretty much everyone of our mutual friends (they know all about these guys) they often invite my buddies out with them, but leave me completely out of it! It's like they don't want me to know, they don't want to have their two worlds collide, thing is I do know. You'd think they wouldn't exclude me if I was just another 'friend'.

They are playing me, sometimes they don't want me to know, and when they can't avoid it, I'm expected to pretend I know something about what they've never told me. I've chased other women, asked them out, actually flirted with girl 2 when girl 1 was standing there, and you can see it bothers them. Double standard or what?

These women clearly need to learn I'm a 'limited time offer', I just need to know what the best way to achieve this is.

 

[DJStudent]

I'm going to tell you exactly what they are thinking and why they are doing this. Just recently I talked to my ex again after not talking to her for about 2 months. After a while of remember old times and what not she asked if I had a girlfriend yet. I said no but I'm not looking for one. I guess that really peaked her interest and she began calling me more often to just hang out and whatever. She talkes about her current bf like every other sentence and I don't want to hear it. Eventually it got to the point where she's dissing on him to me and being very flirtatious with me. I asked why are you doing this with me while you still have a bf. She told me straight up that he's just something to keep her busy until a better guy comes along. Now what's funny is that after I told her I wasn't interested in her anymore she reverted back to liking him again.

My ex is an attention wh0re and that's why I would never get with her again. Now this could be applied to your situation. The girls you are seeing might actually be interested in you. You just need to take it to the next level by approaching them about it in a slow and calm manner. Too straight forward and they would be scared off thinking that they are cheating in some way.

Make sure they understand what your intention are and that you're not going to wait around for them to make up their pretty little minds. I've had other incidents where I've made out with girls, got lap dances, and everything else except sex, and then later found out that they have boyfriends. They want fling and you're in that perfect position.

Plus you never want to be with these girls in the long run because the same thing will happen to you.