Negging is emotional abuse

[HaleyBaron]

The media wants men to stop being leaders. The media wants us to stop negging.

The media negs women all the time. They just want a monopoly.

 

[IKO69]

The source is womenshealthmag

The author, Gabrielle, is critical about it because it is the type of tactic that probably works on her, because she has poor self esteem, likely a mental hunchback. I bet the complete opposite of what she is criticizing turns her off and makes her v drier than the sahara.

Negging works if it is witty and funny. They love it when you tease them, they tell you that you are so funny and charismatic.

 

[Atom Smasher]

I’ve always been a little surprised at how my girlfriend (who is now my wife) always loved that playful ****iness and bravado. I guess it works because she knows that in actual fact I’m a very considerate, caring person.
I have found that the two genders (yes, I dare to say there are only two genders) are deeply attracted to that which the other lacks.
Women are by nature insecure and unsure of themselves and very much constrained by the complex social web they find themselves in.
Consequently, they are deeply attracted to our boldness, co ckiness, rejection of social constraints, and penchant for risk-taking.
We, on the other hand, are deeply attracted to their child-like qualities, their gentleness, their weakness, their nurturing ways, and their submissive nature. We are even programmed to love the child’s voice that they maintain throughout life. All of this is of course the direct opposite of us.
My wife barely responds at all to compliments, especially physical ones (she’s very pretty) but even ones regarding character. She appreciates character compliments, sure, but it’s amazing to see how she shifts into that loving, deeply emotional gaze when I say something like “Yeah, of course you do” when she says she loves me. That’s just a random, simple example. You guys know what I mean… when they get that rush of emotion flooding over them and they look at you a certain way and have to touch you or embrace you.
It took me a long time to understand this because I’m by nature polite and respectful (apart from my persona here on SS) and always felt the urge or necessity to extend extreme politeness to women. Bad strategy. Men value consistent politeness, but women are most assuredly turned off by consistent politeness without a healthy dose of co ckiness and boldness and dominance. I believe that nothing excites them more than a dominant man who routinely demonstrates slight detachment and a nuanced air of superiority. Her deepest desire is to submit, and she knows full well that there are few men today whom she can submit to. Because of that, she has to make compromises and consider her man’s partial dominance as “good enough”.
When you are ****y and dominant while also demonstrating that you are deep down a man of caring and respect to the people around you, you’ve got the magic formula for success with women.
It’s a highly nuanced balance that most men can only start to get a handle on in their 40s and beyond. There are exceptions, a few younger ones can get it, but the real nuance to the point that you “flow” with this balance usually comes later in life. Until then it sounds good on paper but you have no idea how to find that balance.
The trick is to assume the role of the servant-leader. You take the lead in all situations by conveying that you lead for the benefit of the people around you. Women pick up on this attitude and are helpless to admire and desire such a man.
Remember that a woman cannot “date down” and be happy. She needs to look up to her man. That’s why I advocate for an attitude of superiority with women, peppered with kindness and concern for others.
Life is paradox.

 

[Atom Smasher]

@Atom Smasher this is so spot on, wow! The entire post but the above quoted for emphasis.

I've posted here a few times how the best men have that perfect blend of 'beta' and 'alpha,' the best of both. But many men want nothing to do with beta, they believe it's a bad thing, when it's so not, it actually 'adds to' a man's appeal and attractiveness.

By beta I mean kindness and caring, and by alpha I mean dominant, bold, a certain arrogance and superiority.

And negging/teasing, that arrogance or rather playful arrogance comes from their alpha side, but it's done in good fun, and women know that or should, and it very much "adds to."

I also acknowledge your previous response to me and agree that a woman should be demonstratimg that she's worthy of a man's time; his subtle non-verbal demand she do so reflects his value and self-worth, which are also highly attractive.

Anyway, thank you for voicing this; some posters here advocate for never listening to what women say, but perhaps since you, a man, said it, they will pay attention.

Edit: Perhaps @BeExcellent could chime in with her thoughts, I'd be interested in hearing another woman's perspective.

I just wouldn’t use the term “beta” to describe those qualities. Beta is using those admirable qualities exclusively, in which case they turn into manipulative, weak qualities.
Being kind, polite and respectful to people who have earned it are all ingredients of being “alpha”.
I know you know that and it’s really a matter of semantics.

 

[Mike32ct]

When I first heard negging labeled as such I said to myself “why have they relabeled flirting?!?! - facking millennials…”

Lol. In all fairness, Mystery, a Gen X guy, created the term.

 

[Mike32ct]

The ability to playfully tease your date is either in your DNA or it's not.

I have seen guys painfully try to tease a woman when their personality is just not conducive to it. It's like watching a goldfish trying to hit a 90 MPH fastball. Cringe worthy. Most guys who are good at it are naturals and are outgoing, funny, observant, and charismatic.

This. I don’t believe it is learnable, despite what the commercial gurus say. It is either your natural personality, or it isn’t. It’s totally cringe when a guy tries to fake it.

I can rib a guy friend or my brother a bit. That’s just male bonding. But teasing women is completely foreign to me (and my highly introverted personality) and feels very weird.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

It’s like talking to a woman during sex or slapping that bootay- you either get it or you don’t.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

This. I don’t believe it is learnable, despite what the commercial gurus say. It is either your natural personality, or it isn’t. It’s totally cringe when a guy tries to fake it.

I can rib a guy friend or my brother a bit. That’s just male bonding. But teasing women is completely foreign to me (and my highly introverted personality) and feels very weird.

If you know anyone who has cats, practice messing with them. It's fun, their personalities are somewhat like women's, and there's no rejection risk involved

 

[Mike32ct]

If you know anyone who has cats, practice messing with them. It's fun, their personalities are somewhat like women's, and there's no rejection risk involved

That works. I love cats. Don’t have any but always play with them when I visit someone who does.

 

[2Rocky]

As I've gotten older I've noticed my own parents "negging" me. Particularly when I'm in the limelight. Once I realized it, I started calling them on it, especially when they brought up one little thing or worse yet made up something.

Growing up like that I DID learn self deprecation and to tolerate teasing. I can agree and amplify and then turn just about anything back on the person who is trying to make me look bad. As a result I told my youngest daughter when my father did the same to her, that I was not going to do that as her father, particularly about something she was passionate about.

Just about everything we do to win a woman's favor is manipulative. it is to create a result in our favor. Some folks just take it farther than others. No one's an angel in this subject period...

 

[Fruitbat]

Remember the two week shutdown to flatten the curve? 3 ****ing years later.

Double down on the opposite of what mainstream is pedaling.

Btc to 0. Tesla bankruptcy. Sky is falling. Monkey pox.

You’re over estimating the ability of governments to know the future.

The 2 weeks to flatten the curve to 3 years….it COULD be because there’s a plot to destroy the freedoms of the people and was pre-planned.

It also could be because at that time, they didn’t have a clue because the disease wasn’t well understood, and they are and will be held responsible, so they were essentially saying “we don’t really understand this, but we are trying this so here goes”

I had sceptics telling me we were heading for a tougher lockdown this xmas just gone, but it didn’t happen. It was “nailed on” that we were heading for permanent lockdowns and social credit systems. Nothing happened, yet they don’t get held accountable for getting that wrong.

I could just as easily say “remember lockdown Xmas 2021? How it never happened? Don’t trust what sceptics say”

 

[Fruitbat]

When I first heard negging labeled as such I said to myself “why have they relabeled flirting?!?! - facking millennials…”

Have you downloaded the “Negly” app?

It provided helpful hints for Negging.

 

[Fruitbat]

I’ve always been a little surprised at how my girlfriend (who is now my wife) always loved that playful ****iness and bravado. I guess it works because she knows that in actual fact I’m a very considerate, caring person.
I have found that the two genders (yes, I dare to say there are only two genders) are deeply attracted to that which the other lacks.
Women are by nature insecure and unsure of themselves and very much constrained by the complex social web they find themselves in.
Consequently, they are deeply attracted to our boldness, co ckiness, rejection of social constraints, and penchant for risk-taking.
We, on the other hand, are deeply attracted to their child-like qualities, their gentleness, their weakness, their nurturing ways, and their submissive nature. We are even programmed to love the child’s voice that they maintain throughout life. All of this is of course the direct opposite of us.
My wife barely responds at all to compliments, especially physical ones (she’s very pretty) but even ones regarding character. She appreciates character compliments, sure, but it’s amazing to see how she shifts into that loving, deeply emotional gaze when I say something like “Yeah, of course you do” when she says she loves me. That’s just a random, simple example. You guys know what I mean… when they get that rush of emotion flooding over them and they look at you a certain way and have to touch you or embrace you.
It took me a long time to understand this because I’m by nature polite and respectful (apart from my persona here on SS) and always felt the urge or necessity to extend extreme politeness to women. Bad strategy. Men value consistent politeness, but women are most assuredly turned off by consistent politeness without a healthy dose of co ckiness and boldness and dominance. I believe that nothing excites them more than a dominant man who routinely demonstrates slight detachment and a nuanced air of superiority. Her deepest desire is to submit, and she knows full well that there are few men today whom she can submit to. Because of that, she has to make compromises and consider her man’s partial dominance as “good enough”.
When you are ****y and dominant while also demonstrating that you are deep down a man of caring and respect to the people around you, you’ve got the magic formula for success with women.
It’s a highly nuanced balance that most men can only start to get a handle on in their 40s and beyond. There are exceptions, a few younger ones can get it, but the real nuance to the point that you “flow” with this balance usually comes later in life. Until then it sounds good on paper but you have no idea how to find that balance.
The trick is to assume the role of the servant-leader. You take the lead in all situations by conveying that you lead for the benefit of the people around you. Women pick up on this attitude and are helpless to admire and desire such a man.
Remember that a woman cannot “date down” and be happy. She needs to look up to her man. That’s why I advocate for an attitude of superiority with women, peppered with kindness and concern for others.
Life is paradox.

truth

It is slightly depressing that we have to be in constant battle. I mean, all is going well and I get a wee test here and there and you gotta go through that.

One thing which wife Is responding well to, is just plain calling out what she’s doing e.g you’re saying this because you think that I care about xyz and you’re using this to win the argument, and that’s not on I’m afraid.

I am finding just explaining what she’s attempting to do to win an argument works very well. She totally backs off. This is as opposed to being offensive back, or getting p1ssed off.

“negging”….I mean, isn’t the basis of all friendship or love the ability to find humour in people?

 

[bat soup]

All,

A friendly reminder that negging is emotional abuse.

If Your Partner Keeps Comparing You To Other People, You Might Be Getting Negged

Two experts explain.

www.womenshealthmag.com

The media wants men to stop being leaders. The media wants us to stop negging.

The first time I met the woman who was to be my wife, I immediately negged her. I wasn’t even trying to get her. She ended up marrying me, so I don’t think she minded the negging.

Around that time, my soon-to-be wife was getting phone numbers from male passengers every few days. None of them negged her.

Never stop being a man. Never apologize for being a man. Ignore the media’s constant propaganda against men

That is all.

Men wouldn't do it if it didn't work, so it's their own damn fault for being backwards.