Negative People screwing your confidence

[chicksrock]

hehehe Rhino..that's awesome!

other comments from family dinner tonite

sister "your nose is too big.. you have big nose like dad...but dad's nose is still better than yours"

sister (another comment on the haircut) .. "its too long at the front"

sister "Look at your tummy .. you have a ponch.. how did you get that fat tummy...tell me ..i want one too.. i want to know how to get a fat tummy like yours"

 

[Hollowpoint]

at least my confidence is getting laid, i can feel good about that and sneak some footage for my own personal collection

 

[slipstreamer83]

As they told you in the other thread, you should move. I will be able to do it in 2 years´time, when I´m done with my degree.

Guys, could you comment on my post in page 1? I said that I want to tell my mother to create a "strangers" distance between her and me. This might be too harsh, but I just want to keep her as far as possible. So I´m a bit confused about this.

 

[chicksrock]

slipstreamer I read your other post..
i really do feel for you dude...
but don't you worry, I am right by your side..
Do what you think is right..
See if you can connect with your mother ..if you feel like you cant i think you should then give it time... if she is not will to change and be more rational towards you ..then its not fair for you ...

You are your own man...in reality you don't need no one to survive .. you are independent and strong..

whatever has happened in the past..and all those you say that used to walk over you ...
WELL FORGET ABOUT IT!

you are a new man now..and see yourself through the success eyes of now \
Start afresh... begin and create a new life for yourself..
don't hold on to for one moment what has happened in the past
let it go .. let it burn ...

I suggest concentrate on yourself and what you want out of life...what are your goals,etc ...
go into hibernation even for a month...
in this hibernation month you will be foccusing on yourself
how to improve yourself
you will go to the library and look for motivational books,etc
you'll search the internet like crazy to find material on dating, seduction and motivation

i reccommend a program like bearshare or warez P2P
download this stuff
-David Deangello
-ross jeffries
-brian tracy "the psychology of achievement"
-anthony robbins
-anything else you like

work on educating yourself and improving yourself in all dimensions..
if you are seeing the psychologist let out everything that has been bothering you in the past..
so you can best start a new fresh life\

get your act together and know that you can do it..
if i can change my life around .. so can you ..
and everyone on this online community is there to help you out!
go do it my friend..
may god bless you in the process!

 

[neobrood]

Originally posted by SDBmania
I've been reading Dr. Phil's book, "Self Matters," and I have learned that people tend to base their self-concept on what others think. People tend to form an opinion on themselves based on what other people think. You need to stop that! Really take some time to analsys yourself and replace those negitive statements that you say to your self. You shouldn't accept everything people say to you as truth.

No wonder...

For 20 years, I thought of myself as an ugly hopeless loser.

In pre-school and elementary school, I was the bullied kid... and with parents who always compared me to other people and made me look like the LOSER.

"Ooh... look at (*insert person name*). All he does is go to school and home. School and home only. He doesn't go to stupid places like you... He studies hard... He is a good kid... he is a smart kid... etc... etc... etc..."

"Ooh... look at (*insert person name*)... He is handsome, more physically fit, etc... Why dont you lose weight? You look so fat and ugly... etc..."

In high school, I developed this "hater" complex. As a "hater", I tend to repel people... especially with my "tough-a$$" way of dressing and that eternal frown on my face...

And then enter college and I met this chick who opened my eyes by breaking my heart. Ironic.

=====================

"As you think, You shall become"

Now, I think of myself as a cool badass donjuan guy... who is superior to 90% of the people around me who are afc.

Hehe... that makes me feel good about myself and it gives me more guts to approach women.

And in the end, I feel satisfied... hehe...

 

[Duke]

Neobrood, my childhood experiences were similar.

I was among the few bullied kids at my school. My parents didn't help me. They were content to let me rot away playing video games. One of my grandfathers would always make jokes about me being fat.

My one-itus rejecting me was the last straw.

Luckily, I started working out and trying to improve myself.

Still, to this day, my parents compare me. "You could have made an A instead of a B in this class. So-and-so made an A! Why can't you?"

They also have the audacity to believe that I'm easily led. As if I let people just IMPOSE their will on me. "Why do you want to go out tonight to see Tom? You do whatever Tom tells you to do! He leads you around by the nose."

This fills me with SO MUCH RAGE. I've proven time and time again that I think for myself-- most recently when I refused to get "confirmed" in the Catholic faith, even though my dad wanted me to.

The only way to combat this is to build a strong sense of self and have a good radar for negative, untrue, or irrelevant bullshyt.

You have to live in your OWN reality and realize that what they say to you stems from their own fallacious beliefs about you and themselves. Yes, people who attempt to tear you down in any form are massively insecure.

The mother who constantly compares you to other kids? She's using you as a barometer of her own worth among other women. And you don't need that shyt AT ALL. Deal with it for now by not allowing her reality to affect YOUR reality. The sooner you can get away from her, the better.

 

[neobrood]

This fills me with SO MUCH RAGE. I've proven time and time again that I think for myself-- most recently when I refused to get "confirmed" in the Catholic faith, even though my dad wanted me to.

I got confirmed to the Catholic faith when I was 14.

Its no big deal to me tho since I WANTED it anyway. I was brought up in a die-hard catholic school kinda system in the Philippines. Its like a Catholic equivalent of Taliban or something...

Though I like being Catholic, I find some things that are unreasonable in it...

- Why the f*ck do they HATE gays so much? Cmon. Gays are humans too. Gays have the right to marry each other. Cmon. Inasmuch as I laugh at jokes directed at gays, I still see them as human beings... that arent supposed to be HATED.

- Masturbation is a SIN. How the hell? Doesn't it prevent cancer or somethin? And when you masturbate, you're not f*ckin some chick... which can lead to teenage pregnancy or pre-marital sex (which is also a SIN in the Catholic faith). No wonder... pedophile priests exist. Cmon. At least allow them to masturbate... Sex is only to be used in pro-creation of human life. And I remember... a professor said to me that when you masturbate, you become less of a man. You become even less than an animal...

***Anyway, my parents are just 100% obedient followers of the pope... and they would do whatever he says. One time, I debated with my dad about gays, and he even accused me of being a GAY for defending em so much. I told him that "isn't it God who is supposed to judge? and not man?"

He said that I am TWISTING his words...

The mother who constantly compares you to other kids? She's using you as a barometer of her own worth among other women. And you don't need that shyt AT ALL.

Don Juan tips for dealing with mothers like that:

I tried this and tested it... and it works pretty well... (70% success rate)

- Let her talk 90% of the time. Just nod your head and agree (or pretend to agree) with everything she says. She wont listen anyway to what you have to say. She is always correct.

Nod your head even if she says bad things about you. Say things like... "Yeah... I'm a loser..." Nod your head as you say it. Say it like a submissive dog. She might b!tch for awhile but at least that will shut her up... Saying more words or asserting yourself will only prolong the discussion.


- Thou shall not joke with her at all. Every joke you make is not funny. ****y and funny doesnt work. She's too serious as hell.


- The "inconsistency trick" works on her too. Yesterday and 2 days ago, she was b!tching on me about me being such a "dont-give-a-f*ck"... and that I dont love her enough... and "mark my words until the day I die" kinda shlt. My granny even told me that mom asked her... "Why is my son avoiding me?"

But awhile ago, I treated her to the movies and she looked pretty pleased... and even agreed to pray the rosary with her.

Inconsistency kept her on her toes and kept her wondering...

I'm wondering too... Does my mom still luv me? Hell... she's the FIRST WOMAN TO BREAK MY HEART!!!